Jeonghan laughed as he stretched his arms out on Seungcheol’s terrace.

A week had passed with no more complications, often spent out on actual dates to coffee shops or downtown to the mall that Jeonghan adored. Seungcheol, being the rich, well-known man that he was, would always buy Jeonghan whatever he asked for, whether it be a new pair of adidas or a simply cup of coffee for the days that the elder dragged him out for breakfast. Whispers still circulated around them, the one Jeonghan hearing most often being the one about him being a . There was also the one saying that Jeonghan was transgender, which he did not really appreciate. He had nothing against trans people, but just becuase he had long hair and undeniably feminine habits did not mean he was trans. Another one he heard a lot was that he was cheating on Seungcheol with Jisoo, which Jeonghan felt a bit bad about, because he never wanted to drag Jisoo into any of this. He’d seen the male a few times around campus and they’d share a nod or a smile, but most of Jeonghan’s time was taken by projects or Seungcheol.

A lot had changed recently in their relationship. He’d felt like it was real before, but now it felt like Seungcheol made it real. Jeonghan used to doubt what the elder felt for him, but now it was undeniable that they had some sort of attraction to each other. Both of them were too cowardly to admit it, even to themselves, but Jeonghan had no doubt in his mind that Seungcheol cared for him. Okay, maybe there was a bit of doubt still, but a guy could dream, couldn't he?

It was Sunday, and Seungcheol had told him that he would be leaving for a business trip in America on Wednesday, so they were spending as much time together before then. It was also the start of the sixth week.

Jeonghan was standing on Seungcheol’s terrace with his arms stretched out as the wind whipped through his hair and making his cardigan fly out behind him. It was a beautiful day, making Jeonghan want to run through a field or some sappy .

“Careful,” Seungcheol hummed, coming up behind him. “Don't want the wind to blow you off the edge.”

“It offends me that you think I’m that weak,” Jeonghan cawed, turning to face the elder.

Seungcheol shrugged. “Am I wrong?”

“Very.” Jeonghan linked his arms around Seungcheol neck and tilted his head, admiring the elder. Seungcheol mirrored him and grinned.

“You’re so beautiful, you know that right?” The elder said simply.

Jeonghan rolled his eyes. “You’ve only told me about fifty times this past week,” he murmured.

“And I mean it every time.” Seungcheol grin died, replaced with a look that had been clouding his gaze recently. It was almost sorrowful, and it honestly scared Jeonghan half to death when he first noticed the look in the elder's sweet, coffee eyes. He’d asked what was wrong but Seungcheol had shaken his head, leaving Jeonghan to understand that it wasn't something easily shareable.

So he did what he always did when the look came.

Jeonghan tilted his face up to the elder and leaned forward, capturing Seungcheol’s lips in a caring kiss. He’d grown accustomed to having to lead the dances of their lips at times like these, knowing that Seungcheol was thinking about something that required Jeonghan’s caring touch to guide him.

Jeonghan broke away and bit his lip, waiting for Seungcheol’s reaction. It varied from time to time, leaving Jeonghan to wonder what he would get: a thankful smile, another broken look, or a mere sigh. The second two usually required another tender kiss.

Instead of any of them though, Seungcheol reached out and caressed Jeonghan's face, gazing at him. “How on earth did I find you? He sighed. Jeonghan blinked at the statement, expecting more from the look on Seungcheol’s face, but all he got was a defeated sigh and Seungcheol’s strong arms wrapping around his waist in a desperate hug.

“Cheol, are you alright?” Jeonghan hummed, reaching up to softly Seungcheol's hair. “You seem upset about something.”

There was a moment of silence before Seungcheol pulled away and gave him a sad smile. “I just don't want to leave you on Wednesday.”

Jeonghan furrowed his eyebrows. “It's just a business trip silly, I’ll be here when you get back.”

Seungcheol glanced away briefly at that. “Right.”

Not sure if he said something, Jeonghan reached out and tugged on the elder's wrist. “Hey, if you're that worried about, I’ll come with you to the airport,” he offered.

“No, it's fine,” Seungcheol replied immediately, confusing Jeonghan even more. “Let's just watch some movies or something, I wanna cuddle.”

He was still a bit suspicious of Seungcheol’s actions, but he decided to drop it and instead allow the elder to tug him inside. The sun was starting to set and it was getting cold on the terrace, so Jeonghan didn't mind.

They settled down on the couch, having ordered a pizza, and wrapped a blanket around them as they scrolled through Netflix. Something was definitely off about Seungcheol, but Jeonghan didn't push it, merely wrapping his arm around the elder's shoulders as Seungcheol wrapped his own arms around his waist and rested his head on Jeonghan’s shoulder.

Feeling like a mom, he kissed the top of Seungcheol’s head before selecting a movie, grabbing a slice of pizza and falling into silence.

/ / /

Jeonghan sighed as he looked at himself in the mirror.

It was Wednesday. Seungcheol’s business trip.

For some reason, the closer they got to the departure, the more sad Seungcheol became, not wanting to do much all week except cuddle and watch movies. Not that Jeonghan minded, but Seungcheol's attitude about the whole thing made him anxious. The elder had asked to meet him one last time on the quad at campus before he left, and Jeonghan had no clue what to expect, so here he was, his hair down and brushed and straightened, in an oversized grey hoodie Seungcheol had left at his place one time, over a black t-shirt and black jeans, his feet in his vans, his phone in his pocket and his heart nearly beating out of his chest with worry. Seungcheol had sounded oddly morose when he called - not texted - asking to meet.

Jeonghan could only guess what was wrong.

With a brief goodbye to Jun and Minghao who were on the couch, Minghao nearly as far away from Jun as possible while his obnoxious roommate was sprawled out, one of his feet almost in Minghao’s face.

It was chilly out, but Jeonghan decided his wallet couldn't handle it if he called for a cab so he walked to campus. It wasn't terribly far, but it had been getting cold recently and he didn't ever feel like taking his coat, as the lecture halls -- and taxis too -- were usually very warm.

When he got to campus, he looked around in the overcast sky. Most students had gone home already, as it was nearing six o’clock, so he felt oddly out of place in the still quad. He kicked at the ground for a while until he head a call of his name.

“Jeonghan.”

He turned with a smile to see Seungcheol, looking very business-like in his suit with his black hair trimmed and pushed back. Only two simple peircing adorned his ears today, and Jeonghan had never seen him look more handsome. He walked towards his boyfriend, but Seungcheol held up a hand, stopping him.

“No.”

He frowned. “Excuse me?”

Seungcheol sighed and pushed back his already-pushed-back hair as a nervous habit. “We need to talk.”

Jeonghan’s frown deepened. “Okay..?”

Seungcheol crossed his arms in front of him casually. “I’m not going on a business trip.”

Jeonghan blinked, breaking out into a grin. “That's great! Or, no probably not, why, was it cancelled for some reason?”

Seungcheol averted his coffee gaze. “No, it wasn't. It's not a business trip.”

Jeognhan’s smile fell as quickly as it had risen. “What?”

Seungcheol took a deep breath. “I’m moving to America. We’re setting up a branch in New York, and I need to be there to operate it. This branch is going to a close advisor of mine until Hansol’s old enough to take over. But I won't be coming back.”

First, it was shock that coursed trough him, then growing anger. Not because Seungcheol was in the process of breaking his heart. Regret could come later. Realization dawned on him that this agreement was more than trying to get Eunbi away for Seungcheol. If he hadn't agreed, some other pour soul would be in his shoes, and he was incredibly happy it was him instead of anyone else. He had a feeling most people wouldn't be able to take it. 

Rage began to flood Jeonghan’s veins, turning it to ice. “So that's it's then?” He snarled. Seungcheol looked shocked at his sudden change in attitude. “If I hadn't agreed all those weeks ago, you would've found someone else to torture?”

Seungcheol didn't reply. Honestly, it looked like he didn't know how to reply.

“You know, for a while there, I thought you were decent. Turns out, if I hadn't said yes, you would've broken someone else's heart. Was this the plan all along? To have an easy six weeks until you moved to America to start anew? Was I just a distraction?”

Seungcheol looked distressed. “No, Jeonghan, I swear - I mean, yes, but I didn't--” not knowing what else to say, he gave Jeonghan a long look. “I’m sorry.”

Jeonghan just shook his head. “It doesn't matter now. So forget it.”

“I really didn't want to hurt anyone,” Seungcheol whispered. It was almost inaudible in the wind that had picked up.

Jeonghan shook his head again. He was trying so hard to hide just how much he was hurting right now, but he was trying to be strong. To show Seungcheol that it didn't matter if he had loved him. He was independent, and didn't need to rely on someone like the man he’d spent the last six weeks with. Their relationship had been fake, all of it, every last whispered word in the privacy in their apartments, in the penthouse no one had seen, every last laugh, every last smile, every last casual brush of fingers, every last tender, sweet kiss, against lips, cheeks, temples, shoulders, stomach and neck. Every last moment had been fake. Maybe there had been times of weakness on both their parts, but when it came down to it, Seungcheol was a manipulator, and Jeonghan was blind. He’d been so ing blind to it all.

But that didn't matter now.

He was strong, and he wasn't about to let Seungcheol see his tears.

“Whatever.” He said. “Go. Your flight leaves soon.”

Seungcheol looked at him searchingly, almost begging for Jeonghan to make him stay. And he almost did. But he was strong.

Seungcheol bowed his head. “Thanks for this. I’ll never forget the time we shared.”

Jeonghan hesitated, but allowed one small, reminiscent smile, a small fragment of their past of to break into his demeanor. And dear god did it hurt. He was standing in a tornado of glass, every shard a small memory that he was keeping out, but at one smile sent that night hurtling into his gut like a bullet. Tears threatened to fall as he thought of the one time Seungcheol had ever said “I love you.” He’d barely heard it, over the sound of his own moans and Seungcheol’s grunts, but he’d heard it. He’d pushed it back, all but forgetting about until right here, right now, when he was finally letting go.

“Me neither,” he whispered.

Looking a bit hopeful, Seungcheol stepped forward and leaned in for one last kiss, but Jeonghan stepped back, letting his hair fall from behind his ear.

“I wasn't lying when I told you your flight leaves soon,” he whispered.

Seungcheol looked pained, but leaned back and nodded. “Good-bye Jeonghan. I wish you well.”

He nodded. “The same to you, Seungcheol.”

Then he turned. He didn't look back.

And he let the tears fall.

hey guys. 

So, this is the last chapter. don't worry there's gonna be a sequel for both mine and your happiness. 

I'm sure a lot of you know what happend on Monday, December 18th, 2017. Honestly, when i found out, i was really shaken up. SHINee was my first fandom, and it hurst to see all of the members in pain. I'm not entirely myself right now, and i'm grieving and mourning a lot. for all of you who are in pain, just know that you're not alone. I know everyone is saying that, but i'm going to say it too. we all stand together right now, all around the world. Jonghyun was an angel and he deserved the world, but what he got wasnt as grand as what we shouldve given him. please love and support SHINee as they go through this, and let them know that they are not alone. especially Kibum. please pray and look for the Pearl Aqua Moon, and stand strong and together through this. remeber Kim Jonghyun for who he was, and what he did that made him so great, not for his death. He's watching us right now. 

enough of the lovey dovey though. 

hey babes, we're finished in here! again, I REPEAT there will be a sequel. It's called Forever Doesnt Exist, and its not up yet, but I promise I'll start posting it soon. for all you who are angry at me for not letting them love each other, just you wait. Forever Doesnt Exist is sassier, spicier, ier and all around waaaaaaaaaaaay more heart-wrenching. buckle up kiddos, its time for a ride!

untill next time my lovely readers! feel free to comment and message me with ideas or anything. 

stay strong all you Shawols out there, and please support Kibum and SHINee at this hard, dark time. please pray for his friends and family, and please, dont be afraid to cry now and them. Stay strong everyone, and stay happy. 

I love you all!

see you next time.