I stepped onto the upraised platform, breathing hard as I took heavy steps to my seat. I should think Dad would be happy at the news of my return. He had been asking for me, after all. I guess I no longer wanted to be part of Tiffany’s world. In everything, I was second to Taeyeon. The flight attendant greeted me with a welcoming smile and I nodded weakly in acknowledgement. It was a long flight home. Slowly, thoughts began coming back to me, memories flowing in an endlessly stream. I dragged my feet a little, wanting to go back to Tiffany, wanting to fight for more. But what was the use of fighting for more when all I got was less than they who had barely even tried? I was simply too tired and I had to understand that there were some things in life that I could never have. Tiffany’s love, for example, brought great meaning to me now. I had surrendered my apartment to her, unknown to her, and had deposited a large sum of money into her nearly nonexistent bank account. It was fortunate enough that the bank had kept her account running, if not dormant.

“I’m sorry, Tiffany. I’m just too tired.”

I nestled into my seat, hoping that I would fall asleep. I wanted to forget everything, to leave behind Tiffany who would no longer exist in my memory. As of today, Tiffany would cease to exist in my mind. As of today, I had no one but Krystal. My cell phone rang again, I glanced at the number, ready to reject the call, but it was from Taeyeon’s number. Taeyeon’s number. Listening to her voice would only intensify my pain, I knew that. But somehow, I just had to accept the call. Bringing it closer to my ear with shaky hands, I took a deep breath before finally talking.

“Yes?” I tried hard to maintain the nonchalance in my voice.

“Jessica, you have to come back. Tiffany fainted. You have to come back. She’s not doing well here without you. She needs you,” Taeyeon’s frantic voice was seconds from breaking; I had been sure of that.

It comforted me to know that she was hurting too. I sat upright, frowning, but relaxed back into my seat. I wasn’t going back there.

“Thank you, Taeyeon. I have to go,” I hung up before I could say anything else.

I called the apartment, knowing very well that Tiffany would not answer and that it would go straight to voicemail. I took this chance to say what I wanted to say. Struggling to control my overflowing emotions, I tried to sound as how I would have then. I waited for the beep, then began to speak.

Tiffany

Everything was dark and heavy. It felt as if my limbs were lapped in lead. Every thought, everything was simply too heavy. I tried to open my eyes, but my eyelids were heavy as well. Had I died? No, I could hear Taeyeon’s voice speaking to someone. I couldn’t hear it well, but I caught fragments of it.

“….you have to come back…she needs you…”

Who was Taeyeon talking to? I heard a loud grunt of frustration and something slamming onto something else that was concrete. Taeyeon was swearing, apparently aggravated by whatever it was that she had been doing.

“How could she do this now? How could she leave?” she muttered furiously.

My senses were coming back. Slowly, like the volume of a radio, the faint humming of voices had started to form proper sentences. I continued to listen to Taeyeon’s rant, the raw pain nipping at my chest. My hands felt cold and numb, as if I had been digging the snow with my bare hands for hours.  

“How could she? Ah, ! She can’t just leave her like this!”

So that was all this was about? So…Jessica really left? Jessica had really left me? I opened my eyes, squinting at the sudden bright light. I was barely aware of the blanket that had been pulled all the way to my chest despite the chilling cold. Taeyeon didn’t seem to notice that I had awakened and continued to pace agitatedly across the room, arms folded, with an enraged face.

“Ah, I really—!”

“Taeyeon,” I called out hoarsely.

She whirled around, the anger on her face melting away instantly. She gave me a small, sympathetic smile that confirmed my worst fears.

“Tiffany, you’re—”

“Where is she?” I interjected, busy shoving my feet off the bed.

“Fany-ah, you’re still not well—”

“Where is she?”

“She left,” Taeyeon said after realising that I wasn’t going to listen to whatever she was about to say.

“No, that’s not possible,” I pushed past her, running straight to the phone.

Not many thoughts ran through my mind. In fact, only one did; Jessica didn’t leave. She wouldn’t, would she? She couldn’t, could she? But as I picked up the receiver, there was a deafening beep before I heard her voice. Her voice.

“Hey, Tiff, I heard that you were sick. I told you to take care of yourself, didn’t I? I guess you didn’t listen to me. Well, you never listen to me, anyway,” – a small, dry chuckle—“I guess I’m leaving. There’s so much I want to say to you, but so little time. Don’t worry about me, Tiff! I’ll be fine here. I hope Taeyeon treats you well. I have to go now, the flight’s taking off. I’ll miss you, Tiffany. Goodbye.”

The line went dead as the voicemail ended. I stared at the phone for one blank moment, still not able to process anything yet. In my dazed state, I reached out to press the replay button again, listening to Jessica’s voicemail. I didn’t realise that I had been listening to it for hours, sitting on the floor with my back against the countertop and the phone in my hands.

I still stared blankly ahead as Taeyeon squatted in front of me. She gave me an apologetic smile, and brought my hand forward, and spilled something cold in my hand. She attempted to offer me a bigger smile, but failed. I stared at the metal chain in my hands, my fingers reaching up to trace the ring. I never realised it until now. I felt the small indentations where Yuri’s name had been engraved.

“Please come back, Jessi.”

Readers’ Note:

I’ll try not to make this cliché. Okay, so Tiffany basically missed her chance. She was too late. She’s suffering, and all that…so, it has finally come to the fact that Jessica had given up. I’m sorry, readers. However, this is for now. Jessica will come back, or will she?

Thank you for reading!

Yours Faithfully
Jazzign