“And how do you want me to do that?” I asked, arching my eyebrows at my ex who was now an ‘angel’ sent from Heaven.

“Well…,” Yuri paused, and then stared at Tiffany and me before she interlocked her fingers in a state of thought. “You’re going to have to follow her. You know…follow her back to your apartment and look after her.”

“I can’t even touch or say anything. She can’t even see me and you want me to look after her? Yuri, I think you’re really nuts.”

“Look, if you love her, what can’t you do for her? I dragged myself out of Heaven for you. If I can do that, you can do this too,” Yuri grabbed my shoulders and looked me in the eyes.

There was warmth and compassion in them, what I missed most about her. I stared at her fondly, then did the best I could do for her. I grabbed her ear tenderly as I always did whenever either one of us was upset or when Yuri had to go through some tough days in her life. She let out a low, whimsical chuckle.

“Who would have thought we would meet again like this?” I smiled at her snide comment.

“Probably nobody.”

“You’re going to have to do this alone, Sica. I have to go back now. Promise me you’ll take good care of her, okay?” she held out a pinky and I hooked it with mine.

“I promise. I love you, Yuri-ah.”

“Love you too, Sica-yah,” she smiled warmly at me and began fading away until I couldn’t see Yuri anymore.

All that was left was a faint smell of lavender and some traces of hand sanitizers that burned my nose. I stood next to Tiffany, who was still soundly asleep despite my loud conversation with Yuri. Oh right, I forgot that Tiffany still couldn’t hear us. I tried to touch her, lowering my hand onto my shoulder. My hand flickered once, then began to fade away. I pulled it back, shocked, then tried again, but the same thing happened again. I sighed, frustrated. There was no way I could do anything if I couldn’t touch or talk to her. I could only watch, suffering in the silence. The door opened and a small figure came in with light, quiet footsteps.

“Taeyeon,” I breathed.

I held my breath as Taeyeon touched Tiffany gently by the shoulders and Tiffany’s head snapped up, looking around, as if thinking that I had awoken. The twinkling light in her eyes died away and her face darkened.

“Tiffany, you should go home. You’ve been waiting here for hours. You need to eat too, you know,” Taeyeon coaxed her softly.

Tiffany only shook her head. “No, I’m waiting for Jessi to wake up. I’m not leaving until she does.”

“Tiffany,” I whispered, finally able to breathe normally again.

I was touched that Tiffany never left my side, but I couldn’t allow her to watch me waste away and starve herself like this. I stood by her shoulder and examined her face closely, my hands rose in an attempt to wipe her tears away. She had stopped crying, but there still were tears under her eyes that she had not bothered to wipe away. But my hands couldn’t touch her face, dissolving before I could even feel her soft skin.

“Tiffany, don’t be stubborn. Jessica wouldn’t want this for you,” Taeyeon said softly.

I almost laughed at the ironic statement. It was amusing how they talked about what I wanted for them, having no idea that I was just standing inches away, watching them silently.

“You know what Jessica would want?” Tiffany said, her quiet voice trembling. “Jessica would want to wake up! She would want to get out of this goddamned place!”

Tiffany slammed her hands on the sides of the metal chair and I winced. My eyes widened, not used to this side of Tiffany. Taeyeon backed away, stumbling a little. I have never heard her swear or curse out loud before, (Maybe she had when I was asleep) and it scared me to see this side of her. Despite the momentary shock, I was smiling again; someone had finally guessed what I wanted correctly. Taeyeon frowned and went to constrain Tiffany’s flailing hands. Tiffany was crying now and I wanted to beat myself up because I wasn’t the one who could stop her, as much as I wanted to. Taeyeon’s hands closed around Tiffany’s wrists and she pulled Tiffany closer to her. Tiffany struggled, but gave up when Taeyeon proved too strong for her, and cried against her shoulder. So this was the feeling of helplessness Yuri had felt when I mourned over her? This was the lost feeling of watched your loved one suffer in your absence? Yes, after watching everything today, I came to the conclusion that I was in love Tiffany Hwang. But she wasn’t mine to keep.

“Shh…Sica’ll wake up soon. She’ll wake up and everything will be just how it was,” Taeyeon rubbed her back soothingly, what I used to do when Tiffany needed it.

But Tiffany didn’t react like how he reacted to mine. Instead, her sobbing reached a hoarse, dry sound that broke my heart into even smaller pieces. I didn’t want to go back to when I was the lonely girl who had a stranger as a roommate. I didn’t want to be the good friend who will always be the friend and step aside as Taeyeon and Tiffany become more than Tiffany and I will ever be. But I didn’t want Tiffany to watch me dying like this. It hurts me to see her hurting so badly. I left Tiffany’s side and went over to Taeyeon’s.

“Take her elsewhere. I don’t want her to see me like this,” I told her.

Taeyeon didn’t seem to hear me, but after a few blank moments, Taeyeon stood up, pulling Tiffany by the wrist and led her out the door. I followed them, trailing closely behind and avoiding any contact with passersby that didn’t happen to see me. Okay, all of them couldn’t see me, but it was a habit that had embedded itself into my brain.

“Make her happy,” I instructed to practically no one.

They sat down on one of the benches in the small garden, facing a small, bubbling fountain with tired and blank expressions. Again, I stood by Tiffany’s side. Then I noticed the grave expression Taeyeon wore and I panicked instantly.

“Don’t tell her what I said to you then,” I said.

There was a change in her face as she decided against it. She stood up and gave Tiffany a weak smile. I face-palmed myself.

“You know, you at making her happy,” I uttered under my breath.

Taeyeon took a deep breath and faced Tiffany again, this time with a stronger smile. “Hey, I’ll get you something. Wait here.”

Tiffany didn’t reply. She didn’t even look up when Taeyeon stood up or when she left to the nearby convenience store. I kneeled in front of her, and leaned in, inching my face closer to hers. My lips were aiming for her lips, and Tiffany’s eyes closed by some miracle. Again, I couldn’t touch her. When I pulled away, Tiffany still had her eyes closed, but a tear streaked down her face.

“Here,” Taeyeon passed over a plastic-wrapped—

“Ice-cream? Really?” I tilted my head and watched Taeyeon in bewilderment.

Tiffany didn’t take it. She didn’t even look at Taeyeon. Taeyeon sat down on the bench and removed the plastic wrapping off the ice-cream.

“You know,” Taeyeon began, “when I was a kid, my dad used to get me a lot of these. When my mom would undergo her procedure, my dad will bring me to sit at one of the benches and buy me one of these. I swear, I think that guy bought me an entire cart of these things.”

Taeyeon sat with her legs apart, an elbow resting on her thigh while she examined the ice-cream with a twinkle of nostalgia in her onyx eyes. Tiffany’s head tilted to the side a little, eyeing Taeyeon with mild curiosity and pity.

“Your mom?” Tiffany asked in a small, broken voice.

“That’s it, Taeyeon. Get her to pity you,” I smiled at Taeyeon’s redeemable effort. “You’re good at that; you look pitiful all by yourself.”

Taeyeon nodded. “Yeah, my mom.”

“What happened to her?”

“She was diagnosed with brain tumour when I was seven. I was a small kid back then. I probably thought my mom’s disease could be cured by antibiotics and lots of ice-cream. Apparently not, I guess. And when she died when I was nine, my dad only told me that God had taken her away because He loved her more than we did. I cried myself to sleep every night afterwards, promising to love my mom more. Of course, she never came back. God loved her too much to give her back to us.”

Tiffany was quiet when Taeyeon talked, her eyes on the melting ice-cream.

“Tae…” Tiffany rested her hand on Taeyeon’s. “I’m sorry.”

Taeyeon eyed the drops of melted ice-cream sliding down her hand before shooting her a smile. “Thanks.”

“Are you going to eat that?” Tiffany pointed at the melting ice-cream, smiling a little.

“Yeah, that’s right, Tiffany,” I smiled wider in approval.

Taeyeon shook her head. “I thought you’d never ask.”

She handed Tiffany the ice-cream, who began the ice-cream. I felt my heart ache when I saw Tiffany give Taeyeon the smile she usually gave me. But I felt better, as if a weight had been lifted off my chest, after seeing how Taeyeon made Tiffany smile. Maybe being gone wasn’t such a bad thing after all. Maybe I should find—

“Peace? Pass over?” a familiar smooth voice said behind from behind me.

I whirled around. “Yuri?”

Yuri had her hands in her pockets, in her usual white attire, as she stared at me with disbelief and a tint of disappointment.

“So this is the love you ‘fought’ for? I spent three years like this, until I passed over knowing that there’ll be someone there for you. And that someone is…Tiffany. I spent three years just watching, just looking. I can’t talk to you, I can’t touch you.”

“There already is someone for her. Someone better than I am. Someone who can take good care of her. Taeyeon can,” I admitted, crestfallen.

Yuri shook her head disapprovingly at me. “If I were you, I wouldn’t want to give up on someone who is so in love with you. If you had been me these past few years, I think you would’ve given up on the first day already. You’ve already gone so far. Don’t give up now. You’ve made a philophobic fall in love with you, Sica. Don’t give up on her, because she sure hasn’t given up on you.”

Readers’ Note:

Jessica’s first day as a wandering spirit. Well, she tracks down Tiffany and Taeyeon, a little of Taeyeon’s past and basically, Yuri rooting for Jessica to not give up on their relationship (I mean JeTi’s). Don’t worry, this fic is JeTi. I’ll end it JeTi. , this is damn difficult to write.

Thank you for reading!

Yours Faithfully
Jazzign