11:11 am Wish (November 10, 2011)

“Yah...Minnie...Minnie,” I could feel someone shake my shoulders.

“Chunnie? Is Minnie awake yet,” asked a different voice.

“Almost,” the first voice answered. “Yah... wake up. It’s time for breakfast. Unless you want Junsu to slap your until you’re awake I suggest you get your tiny off the bed,” the voice threatened.

I immediately got up and saw Yoochun already awake. He was my roommate for last night. He is usually my roommate.

“That did the trick,” Yoochun smiled happily. “What’s wrong with you,” he asked after seeing my expression.

I flashed a fake smile and responded, “Nothing hyung. I’m just tired.”

“Alright,” I could tell that he didn’t buy my facade but he dropped the subject.  “We have to get ready. Yunho, Jaejoong and Junsu are already eating outside and you’re the last to wake up. We’re going for rehearsals around 4 pm so until then we can tour the place for a bit.”

“Okay,” I said with false enthusiasm. “I’ll be out in a minute,” I told Yoochun.

“Cheer up Makanae. We’re in Toronto baby. Might as well enjoy the beautiful city right? But I’m all ears if you want to talk though,” Yoochun said as we head outside and met the others in the living room.

“What took you so long,” Yunho asked.

“Don’t be too harsh on him Yunnie, we just came yesterday I’m sure he’s just tired,” Jaejoong defended me.

“What exactly is he tired FROM?” Junsu said laughing so hard that he made Yunho laugh as well. Jaejoong glared at both of them for their immaturity.

“Anyways, where are we going after breakfast?” Yoochun asked as he took a seat beside Junsu.

I sat in between Yoochun and Jaejoong not really paying attention to our plans for the day. I was quietly eating my food while they discussed where we’ll be sightseeing.

After finishing my breakfast, I got up and put my empty plate away. I checked to see what time it was. It was already 11:09. There was only two more minutes until 11:11 o’clock. Two minutes passed and it’s already 11:11. “I wish that Jaejoong hyung would love me back the same way as I love him,” I wished silently. 

Everyone finished eating their breakfast and began to head towards the rooms. For this trip, Junsu, Jaejoong and Yunho shared a room while Yoochun and I share the other room. We sometimes change who we sleep with but I usually share rooms with Yoochun and sometimes Yunho gets the privillage of getting his own room since he’s the leader but not during this trip. Everyone left to their rooms so we could get ready and leave the hotel by 12 pm.

I went to our room and got my clothes ready. Yoochun closed the door and faced me. “What’s up? I know something’s up. Why don’t you talk to me about it? I might be able to help,” Yoochun said giving me an encouraging smile.

I really don’t know how to tell Yoochun this. It’s something hard to tell anyone. How can you tell one of your best friends “Hey...um yeah I’m gay and I sort of love one of our members in THAT way”? That’s hard and it takes courage.

Yoochun took a seat on his side of the bed and said, “You know Min? Even though something is hard to say, it doesn’t mean it’s hard to accept. Yeah... some words are difficult to say but if you can tell someone, it doesn’t have to be me, but SOMEONE you can tell your problems to you’ll feel lighter, you’ll feel like some of the burden has been lifted. You know what I mean?” Sometimes it’s scary how Yoochun knows what I’m thinking and he says the right things at the right time and it does help me feel better.

Yoochun was staring in my eyes hoping I really understand what he means. I nod my head in understanding and whispered, “Yoochun... I think I’m gay.”

I looked at Yoochun’s expression and expected to see a disgusted face or an unaccepted expression but Yoochun’s facial reaction shows that he understands. It’s almost like he already knew about me before I told him.

It was quiet for about a minute or so. There wasn’t an awkward silence, it was just quiet.  We weren’t talking until Yoochun laughed and said, “I know.”

“Yah.... Yoochun. It’s not funny! That was something hard to say and you laugh at me? What a nice friend,” I began to say as I walked towards my luggage and started getting ready.

Yoochun grabbed my hand and spun me around so I was facing him. He said, “Min...That’s not why I laughed. I laughed because you’re making it a big deal. So what if you’re...gay? That doesn’t change how I feel for you. You’re still the same Changmin who eats a lot, who loves to prank his hyungs, an amazing vocalist, an inspiring idol and an amazing friend who I love in the first place. Nothing will change.”

I just looked at him shocked that he already knew this and he still accepted me.

“Why?” I barely whispered.

“What do you mean why? You mean why did nothing change?” Yoochun asked as I just nod my head. “Because you’re one of my members you know? And when we became a group it wasn’t just because we had to work together that we became friends. No... it’s not like that. When we debuted and became a group, I learned to accept all you guys as my brothers. I see you guys as part of my family and I hope that you guys feel the same way with me too,” Yoochun continued as he hugged me and tried to comfort me.

“So don’t worry Min. Your secret’s safe with me. Until you’re ready to tell the others I’ll keep my mouth shut. I’m always here to help you Min. Don’t ever hesitate on talking to me. I’m here for you...always. Don’t worry I won’t tell Jaejoong,” Yoochun said with a wink.

“How do you know about him?” I asked.

“Puh-lease...tell me something I don’t know Min. I know everything,” he said giving me a playful nudge in the elbows as we began to get ready for our tour of the city.

I know that its May already but let's pretend that it's November 10, 2011 (11/10/11). "Tomorrow" (11/11/11) is the big day. Thanks for reading and don't forget to comment:D