Changmin’s POV

*3 years later *

Little by little, I’m slowly remembering. Okay maybe that’s sort of a lie. I can’t recall memories about Jaejoong hyung before the incident but whenever I’m with him, it seems like none of this mattered. Whenever I’m with him, it’s like my memories of him are still with me. It’s like my whole being remembers him, except my brain. When I first tasted his cooking, the taste was so familiar that it felt like I’ve had it before.

After that day when Jaejoong hyung said that it didn’t matter if I remembered our past, and said that all that does matter is the present, Jaejoong hyung didn’t bring up the past ever again. Whenever I see him, I feel apologetic and grateful. I’m thankful that he never gave up and continued being with me despite how hard it must be to stay with someone who doesn’t remember. I feel apologetic to Jaejoong hyung because no matter how hard I try I can’t seem to remember any memories of him prior the concert mishap.

Jaejoong hyung never asked me whether my memories came back. Jaejoong hyung didn’t ask me what caused me to forget our memories. Jaejoong hyung didn’t ask me about the reason why I kissed him on stage. All he’s ever done since we met is make me smile, and continuously make new memories each day.

After our international tour being canceled, we had a hiatus. When we first arrived in Korea after the concert, there was chaos in the airport. There were more fans being divided compared to the footage I saw on the news with the American fans.

There were Yunjae fans who expressed their disappointment, Jaemin fans who tried to protect us from some aggressive Yunjae fans, and there were mutual Cassies who kept saying encouraging words and said that they would support us no matter what.

We had to stop promoting together as a group after the international tour was canceled. Our manager figured that the situation had to cool down and let us do individual activities. We didn’t have any group activities for a while and each member had individual activities. Junsu was busy with his musical, Jaejoong hyung and Yoochun were busy with filming their dramas, Yunho hyung focused on his studies, and I was doing variety shows.

During that hiatus, I tried to find myself. I tried to figure out why did I forget Jaejoong hyung? I tried to figure out why do I remember the other members and only forgot about Jaejoong hyung. Until now, I still have no answer. I may never find the answer.

As I was trying to find these answers, Jaejoong hyung never brought up the past and instead, he was trying to make new memories. He taught me how to cook. He’s a really good cook. His deokbokki is the best. Some people might find it spicy but his recipe has the right kind of spice and flavor to it.

When I was trying to look for answers, I asked Yoochun about what happened during the concert that I forgot. I found out that I kissed Jaejoong hyung. Just thinking about it again makes me wonder.

Do I like Jaejoong hyung? Did I like Jaejoong hyung? Is that why I feel sort of jealous when he’s with other members especially when he’s with Yunho hyung? Whatever... whenever I think about these things my mind becomes jumbled again and feel like my mind is wandering in circles.

Just recently, I’ve been having weird dreams. They’re not weird dreams per se, it more like it’s weird that I’m having dreams like these. My dreams are so vivid that it almost seems like it’s a past memory of some kind.

The dreams are nothing special. It’s usually just Jaejoong hyung and I. We would slap and hit each other but in my dreams, we were always laughing no matter how hard the other was hit. Other dreams contained the other members as well but it’s more or less the same. Jaejoong hyung and I were hitting each other and just playing around.

After about a year of doing individual activities, we made a comeback with Catch Me. We lost fans but we also gained new fans. There were also fans who stayed with us until we came back. Regardless if they were old or new fans, I’m always thankful that they stayed with us during the difficult period. 

A/N: Hey everyone. I know I haven't updated in a really long time and I'm really sorry. I don't really know how to continue/ how the ending is going to be that's why I keep being on hiatus. I'm really sorry. Hopefully you guys aren't too mad but just in case, I have a mini spam of Jaemin gifs on the way to compensate the lack of update lol. None of these are mine, I found them on the internet. I love Jaemin and just spreading some Jaemin love :) I miss their violent one touch xD AKTF fellow cassies <3 Thank you to my faithful readers who have waited and continued supporting this story even though I don't update frequently. Special thank you to chichiri0515 and epiktraveller for not forgetting Jaemin and this story .