18.

I woke up but I wish I didn't. Everybody was here, and they were staring, all of them had the same look on their faces. I was sick of it. I tried to push myself into a sitting position but my ribs hurt so bad that I couldn't. Hoody came beside my bed and sat into the chair. She took my hand.

''How are you feeling? Are you in pain?''-she asked me. Zico was by her side.

''Apart from my ribs, not really.''-I say.

''Can I get you anything?''-she asked.

''Water please, my throat is dying.''-she nodded and left. Loco came to me.

''Jay is in Simon's room so he will be here in a minute if you need him.''-he said. I wasn't ready to hear his name yet.

''Simon's room?''-I ask. Loco looks at me for a long time. He sighed.

''Yeah, he is in the hospital too.''-Loco said. My heart dropped.

''Why?''-I ask. Do I even have a right to ask? Why do I even feel anything after what he has done to me?

''Jay will tell you everything. I can't. I'm sorry.''-he said. this must be serious. He looked so bad. And now I realize everyone is that way. What happened?

''Please. Loco. Tell me.''-I plead and he turns away to hide his face. In that moment Jay comes in. He looks exhausted and in pain. He looks at me and smiles a little, but it did not reach his eyes. He was forcing it.

''You're awake? How are you feeling?''-he asked and stood by my side. Hep came inside when I was about to answer and he was talking to the guys and they all paled instantly. I had a sick feeling in my stomach.

''Jay... What happened to Simon?''-I ask and my voice broke when I said his name again. He looked at me and that little bit of forced smile disappeared. Cold sweat washed over my back.

''Aki, Simon was drugged.''-he said and my heart twitches. My stomach can't even handle this right now. ''And they are fighting for his life.''-the room started spinning and I threw myself on the other side of the bed and threw up. Nurse came rushing in and she brought a bucket for me to throw up in. Everybody was on their feet and rushing to my side.

''She will be fine. It's an aftereffect of large amount of trauma. It's nothing health threatening.''-the nurse said. ''Maybe it's for the best if you leave her to rest. One can stay.''-she said while cleaning the floor. They nodded and left. Hoody came in with water and looked confused. Jay took the water and told her to leave and rest.

''Simon...''-I mumbled. Tears were spilling on both of my eyes in three streams now. I clenched my fists so hard my nails dug into my skin. ''How?''-I ask.

''We are not sure about this.. doctors think the drugs were in his system from before the club. I don't want to make false assumptions but... I think Gray drugged him.''-Jay couldn't look me in the eyes. ''And that is not it. I think this is not the first time.''-he added. I covered my mouth with my hand to stop myself from screaming. I was trying to cry silently while every cell in my body screamed. I was hating him for the past twelve hours and trying not to think about him, and now, I might loose him forever and I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready to loose him, I didn't even have him properly and now I can't. He is somewhere in this hospital, sleeping. My angel. He will wake up, he has to. For me. For us. I can't be alone, he can't leave me. If he dies, I die.

''I'm sorry Aki. I really am. This is all to much for you to handle.''-Jay said holding my hand and my hair. ''I called your mother, she will be here tonight. Don't worry.''-he said.

''Jay bring me to him.''-I say. He shook his head.

''I don't think it's a good idea.''-he said.

''I don't care about the idea, take me to him, now.''-I say firmly. He left the room and I thought he left me alone and I wanted to yell at him when he came back with a wheelchair. He pushed it beside my bed. He carefully put his arms underneath my body and lifted me of the bed. I don't know what part of my body hurt more but I tried not to wince so he wouldn't change his mind. He put me in the chair and covered me with a blanket.

''Are you sure?''-he asked again.

''I am sure Jay.''-I say and he turns the wheelchair and pushes me toward the door. Every second spent in the hallway was torture. I didn't know where he was. I don't know in which room Jay will lead me so I keep turning in every direction. My heart is pumping like crazy and I was sure, if we didn't arrive soon, it will give up on me. We went inside an elevator and went one floor up. The ding sound made me twitch. The door opened and we continued. In front of me was a long hallway with a glass wall at the end which looked like a tunnel leading toward the light. If I wasn't so awfully aware of the situation I am in, I would think I died. Of course Simon had to be at the very end of the hallway. I was reaching the end point of my sanity when we reached his door. Jay stepped in front of me and put his hand on the door knob.

''Stop.''-I said. He froze. I couldn't breathe.

''Are you okay?''-he asked. I calmed a little and managed to nod.

''Open the door.''-I say and he slides the door to the side. I couldn't even imagine the horror I was about to see. On the first sight he looked like he was sleeping and there was nothing wrong. But he had tubes everywhere. He was pale and his hair was sticky from sweat. The heart monitor was so dull and slow. I pushed my wheels toward. I reached out to touch his hand while mine shook so hard my bones started to hurt. His skin was dry and cold.

''Simon...''-I say. ''Simon it's me. I know you can hear me. Please don't leave me.''-I say stumbling on every word. ''Please...''-I couldn't bear it. Him being like this and me being alive. I would trade my life for his. I would trade it in a second. I put my hand on his chest and felt his heartbeat. Slow...

I was sitting by his side for two hours, watching him, every hour felt like a day. Every second of him not waking up was hell. The doctors came to check up on him every half an hour and disappointed looks on their faces gave me no hope. My strength was giving up on me and black spots crept in my vision while I tried to stay focused on him. I feel like if I blink, if I look away, if I think about anything else, he will be gone. Forever.

''Let's go back for now. You're exhausted. What you went trough is no joke, and it took a toll on your body. You have to rest.''-Jay said. I shook my head. ''Please Akira.''-he said but his phone rang and he apologized and went to answer it. I squeezed Simon's hand harder.

''Simon. I don't know if I ever told you this, I love you. I love you Simon. From the moment I saw you it was always you. I was never in love before, but I know this is it for me. My one and only. Please Simon wake up so I can be your one and only too. Simon I can't do this without you. I can't do life.''-I say choking on my words as tears spilled from my eyes. ''If you die, I die. That's it. I got nothing to leave behind. My life was garbage before I came here, before you. I had no goal. No purpose. But now it's you. My goal is to love you for the rest of my life. So please come back to me. Please..''-my head hurt and I had to close my eyes for a moment. Just for a moment. I leaned my head on his bed. I was so out of it that I barely felt when his index finger twitched. But it did! It twitched!

''Nurse!! Doctor!''-I scream and in a moment the all came rushing in. ''His finger twitched!''-I say. They check his vitals and hands and flash his eyes. The doctor sighed.

''It is just a nerve reaction. It can happen but it doesn't mean anything. I'm sorry.''-he said.

''No! No please! He is waking up! I asked him to wake up and he will do it for me! Please help him!''-I lost it right there. I started screaming and kicking and reaching for him when they rolled me away and then, right then, I saw his finger move again. But everybody was looking at me. ''Look at him!''-I yelled. Nurses were shaking their heads and looked at me with sad eyes. They all thought I lost it. Maybe I did... maybe I went completely crazy. Jay pushed me out of the room and they closed the door in front of me.

''Aki...''-Jay whispered still not moving from the door. ''I don't think...''-he couldn't finish.

''Don't you dare say it! Don't you ing dare.''-now everybody was looking. He silently went behind me and pushed my wheelchair away from Simon's room. Further I got, my body was slowly dying from inside out.