Kyuhyun

 

I still remember everything clearly like it was only yesterday…

 

I was one of the best in Mathematics in school. Well, to be frank, I was the best. I love Math. It wasn’t hard at all for me. Unlike others, I enjoy solving problems. The trick is not to memorize the equations but rather understand the concepts so that you could fully appreciate it. Maybe that’s the reason why I excel.

 

I was in my senior year when I first met Park Kyesin. Our school took the Math team out to Jisan Forest Resort, a ski resort, for something like a team building training or whatever. To be honest, I liked the idea of it. Enjoying and training at the same time.

 

There were twelve of us in the team. All guys. Three of them were my closest friends. Kim Ueno, was my best friend at that time. He’s somewhat comparable to Siwon among the members. He’s polite and overall a good man. He loves to play starcraft as much as I do. He was quite good looking too.  Jung Jaehyun and Ye Moonyoung are the two others. Well, I’d say the are the Eunhyuk and Donghae of today. They are playful yet kind. They’re really popular among girls. All twelve of us rode together in a small bus together with three teachers to spend the weekend away.

 

“Everybody gather round the reception area and wait there,” one of the teachers, Lee seonsaengnim, instructed.

 

We got off the bus with our bags and ski gear and headed for the reception while our teachers checked us in.

 

“Why’d you think she’s here? Isn’t the competition for seniors only?” I heard Jaehyun ask Moonyoung as we were walking. They were in front of Ueno and I.

 

“Who’s here?” Ueno asked.

 

“Park Kyesin,” Moonyoung replied.

 

“Who?” I said.

 

The two men stopped to stare at me. “You don’t know who Park Kyesin is?!”

 

I shook my head. “What? Is she important or something?”

 

Moonyoung laughed at me. “Oh, Cho Kyuhyun. This is why you can’t get a girlfriend.”

 

“She’s two levels younger,” Ueno explained to me. “She just transferred a month ago from England.”

 

“I don’t get why that’s a big deal,” I said.

 

Jaehyun put his arm around my shoulder. “Ah, Kyu. It’s a big deal because she’s hot.”

 

“And smart. Very smart,” Moonyoung added.

 

I laughed. “So she’s smart and beautiful. A lot of girls in our school are smart and beautiful.”

 

“Oh, no no no. Not like her, my dear friend. Not like her,” Jaehyun said.

 

“You’ll see why soon enough. It’ll hit you right in the face,,” Ueno smiled at me. I should’ve listened.

 

“Do you think we’ll get a chance to talk to her?” Moonyoung asked.

 

“For all I know, Young, you’re just planning to ask her out,” I laughed.

 

He laughed with me. “Well, I’ve heard rumors that she’s not friendly at all… But those were all from girls. The guys, on the other hand, say  a different thing.”

 

“‘Mysterious yet approachable’”, Jaehyun quoted. “They say that she’s quite warm to talk to.”

 

“Judging from what you guys said, I guess the girls are just jealous that everyone’s attention has turned to her,” Ueno said.

 

“And she just transferred,” I stated. “She just needs time to adjust.”

 

“Oh! Oh! Oh! There she is. On the couch,” Moonyoung whispered. “Kyuhyun, go talk to her!”

 

“Why me?”

 

“Coz you’re the only one in this group who probably hasn’t stalked her yet!” Moonyoung replied.

 

“Hey!” Ueno interjected.

 

“Fine then, you go,” Jaehyun chuckled.

 

“What do I say?” Ueno asked.

 

“I don’t know. You figure it out; you’re smart,” Jaehyun said.

 

The three of us sat down on one of the long couches and the other students thankfully sat down in all the others, leaving Ueno with no place but beside the said girl. She was looking down, reading a thick book. I still haven’t seen her face but I was very curious. She has brown wavy hair and such a fair skin.

 

Ueno awkwardly sat beside her. Jaehyun and Moonyoung were giggling as we watched him. He glared at us, not knowing what to do. Moonoung told him to talk to her.

 

“H-Hi!” Ueno turned to the girl and stuttered.

 

She raised her head up to look at my best friend. “Hi!” She greeted back with the most beautiful smile I have ever seen.

 

And then something hit me. Not literally, but something did. I have never seen anyone so captivating. Her eyes were not brown - they were such a beautiful shade of hazel. Hazel! They sparkled as she smiled. Her eyelashes were long and curled. Her nose was pointy. Her lips were thin and red. She was too beautiful to be true. I even pinched myself just to make sure I wasn’t dreaming, I could see now what the big deal is. Park Kyesin is an extraordinary being. Without even trying, she could attract all the guys in one room.

 

She looked back down to her book and started reading again. Ueno was tight-lipped and blushing bright red. He looked at us with panicked eyes. He breathed deeply.

 

“Uhm… hi! I’m Ueno,” he introduced himself.

 

Park Kyesin lifted her head up again. “Kyesin,” she replied with another smile. Oh my heart fluttered…

 

“Oh… yeah… uhm…” Ueno started.

 

But Bae seonsaengnim suddenly spoke. “Everyone. Here are your keys. Cho Kyuhyun, Kim Ueno, Jung Jaehyun and Ye Moonyoung you’re together in one room. Im Jonghyun, Lee Jihyun, Lee Sungmo and Kim Jino, here’s yours. Park Taeyoon, Lee Yoonggi, Kim Solgu, and Park Yoonjae, here. Park Kyesin, this one is yours,” he said, handing out the keys.

 

“You can now go to your rooms, rest for a little, put your things down or whatever. You can do what you want for the whole day. Anything legal that is. Lunch will be served at the function room at 12 noon, snacks at 4 and dinner will be at seven. Tomorrow will be training day. We we will meet at their auditorium at 8 am. Be on time or you will receive a demerit,” said Han seonsaengnim.

 

Park Kyesin stood up and immediately headed to her room. Ueno joined us, still red from the happenings. “You guys, I almost died out there!” He whispered.

 

Moonyoung laughed. “So what can you say about her?”

 

“She’s… so… beautiful…” Ueno said. “Oh did you see her smile?”

 

Now I regret rejecting the chance to talk to her.

 

Jaehyun put his arm around me. “Do you understand now? It hit you too, right?”

 

It did. Cupid’s arrow hit me.

 

We decided to rest for a while upon reaching our rooms. At 12, we went down to eat lunch. I scanned around the function room but can’t seem to find Park Kyesin anywhere. Jaehyun thought that maybe she was out skiing or something. So We decided to ski as well after eating. There weren’t a lot of people around since it was not a peak season. It was actually nice - like having the resort for ourselves. To be honest, we were like 30% of the time skiing, 70% looking for Park Kyesin. I won’t deny. I did want to see her too. I was curious about many things. I wanted to know why she transferred to Korea, why is she here with us, perhaps what her favorite color is or her favorite food. Without even knowing, she has already caught me tight in a rope and I want her to pull me closer.

 

But we didn’t find her again at the skiing slopes. We tried the beginner and intermediate slopes but she in wasn’t any of those. We retired to get some rest for a while and went back to the function room for our snacks. They served us hot and fresh bung-o-pang. I got two, a packet of juice and excused myself to go back to our room to get my camera.

 

On my way back, I decided to take a detour and go to the skating rink just to check if Park Kyesin was there. Nibbling on my first bung-o-pang, I scanned the rink for her but didn’t see her anywhere. I sighed. She must be in her room. I was about to go back to the function room when I saw this beautiful glow coming from the benches where people can watch the skaters. I looked closely. My heart started beating fast. It was her.

 

Park Kyesin was sitting alone in the benches. Her feet were up and her head was resting on her knees. Her eyes were at the skating rink, but her eyes… They weren’t the bright eyes I saw earlier today. She looked lonely.

 

I wasn’t going to approach her in the first place but seeing her alone made me lose my head. I slowly walked towards her.

 

“Uhm…” I whispered. She looked up at me with her sad eyes. “Hi,” I greeted with an awkward smile.

 

“Hi,” she greeted back with a soft smile. My heart was fluttering again.

 

“Uhm… I didn’t see you at lunch or at snacks today.”

 

“Yeah…”

 

I stood there awkwardly. “Uh… bung-o-pang?” I offered, giving her my other bread.

 

She stared at it for a few seconds. “Bung-o-pang?” She asked. She looked absolutely adorable.

 

“Yeah… it’s uhm… sweet red bean bread,” I said.

 

“Oh… thanks,” she said, taking it from me.

 

“May I?”I asked. She nodded. I sat beside her.

 

“You’re one of … Ueno-sunbae’s friends, right?” She asked.

 

“Y-Yeah,” I stuttered, surprised that she knows.

 

She adorably opened the bag with the bung-o-pang and took it out. She smiled a little. Why does everything about her look pretty?

 

“Do they really serve these like this?” She asked about the fish shaped bread.

 

“Yeah. Have you never eaten one before?” I asked.

 

She shook her head cutely. “Nope.” She took a bite. “It’s good! Thank you again.”

 

“You’re welcome,” I said. It became awkwardly silent for an hour or so. We just sat down; I was secretly watching her and she was just staring at the skating rink. I couldn’t think of things to say.

 

“Oh… uhm…” she started. Even her voice is music to my ears. “I never had the chance to get your name.” The skies have turned bright orange now.

 

“I’m Cho Kyuhyun,” I said, cheeks burning. I never blushed while saying my name before. “You’re Park Kyesin, right.”

 

She nodded. “Yup.”

 

“My friend said you came from England.”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Are you half?” I asked. “I mean… because you don’t look Korean…”

 

The hint of sadness sparked in her eyes. “My father is half Korean, half English. My mother is Italian,” she said. There was a sense of longing in her voice.

 

“Oh… I see…” I nod my head. “Well… uhm… why did you transfer here? I heard you’re really smart and I know there are a lot of schools in England well suited for you.”

 

“Hmm… I want to know about my father’s culture. Reading about Korea wasn’t enough for me… So I wanted to experience it first hand,” she answered.

 

“Oh… that’s nice,” I smiled, trying to cheer her up. “Did you come here alone?”

 

“Yeah,” she nodded. She seems really down. We then fell silent again.

 

“Do you skate?” I finally had the courage to ask.

 

“A little,” she smiled at me. I think I could melt despite the fact that we’re surrounded by snow right now.

 

“Do you want to skate?” I asked.

 

“Huh?” She looked at me.

 

I took a deep breath and swallowed my pride. I smiled wide at her. “Come on. Let’s skate!” I stood up.

 

“Wait, Kyuhyun-sunbae!” She called.

 

“It’ll be fun,” I grinned at her. I went to the skate rental and she followed behind. “Hi. One pair of Size 10 and…”

 

“Size seven,” she said shyly.

 

The guy gave us our skates and we sat on the side. I tied my laces. “Here, let me help you,” I said, tying hers.

 

“Oh… no, I can do it…” she said.

 

But I ignored her. I didn’t know why. I just felt like doing it… doing everything for her.

 

“Tight?” I asked.

 

She shook her head. “Just right… thanks.”

 

I stood up. “Come,” I said. She stood up with ease and we walked towards the rink.

 

I glided in first. My parents brought me often skating and skiing so I was pretty good. I held out my hand to her to help her step in. But I was wrong. She was good. She didn’t need to hold anything.

 

“Sunbae…”

 

“You need to have fun once in a while,” I told her. I glided easily through the ice and she followed behind me. We went in circles in silence. I looked at her. She looks so damn beautiful at any time. I like the way the cool icy wind blows her hair, and how her hazel eyes sparkles when she looks at the sunset.

 

I decided to spice things up. It seemed pretty boring that we were just going round and round for almost an hour now. I was  doing a bad job cheering her up as well.

 

“Hey,” I started. “I bet you can’t catch me.”

 

“Sunbae?”

 

I smiled at her and dashed away. “Sunbae! Wait!” She called, following me. I chuckled and kept speeding up. “Sunbae!” She was starting to chuckle now.

 

She was good. She kept her balance even though we were going fast. But I wasn’t.

 

I took a wrong turn and slipped, falling on the cool icy floor. I laughed aloud. I haven’t had this much fun in a while.

 

“Sunbae, are you alright?” She came towards me, laughing.

 

“I think so,” I said, laughing as well. She extended her arm towards me to help me stand up. But I didn’t know what went on my mind that I decided to pull her down with me instead.

 

“Sunbae!” She screamed. She chuckled with me on the ice. She looked at me with earnest eyes. I could melt right there and then. “Thank you, sunbae.”

 

I smiled at her. “It’s no big deal.” I stood up carefully then offered my hand to help her. She took it.

 

My heart suddenly went haywire when she touched me. My cheeks were burning. I haven’t felt anything like this. It’s going to drive me crazy.

 

“Do you feel better now?” I asked as we were walking back to our rooms.

 

She looked up at me. “Oh… uh, yeah,” she answered shyly. Her cheeks were tinted red.

 

“I noticed you were a little down awhile ago,” I whispered.

 

She nodded. “I guess… I just miss home,” she replied. “So thank you, sunbae,” she smiled at me. She stopped in front of her room.

 

“Remember, dinner's at seven,” I said. “Or do you want me to just bring your food here?”

 

She shook her head and chuckled. “Ani, sunbae. I’ll be there.”

 

“Promise?”

 

“I promise,” she nodded before entering her room.

 

And I just stood there smiling like an idiot for minutes. When I finally got a hold of myself, I went to my room.

 

“Oh Damn it! There you are!” Jaehyun said as soon as I entered.

 

I lifted my brows. “What?”

 

“We were so worried. We thought you have gone lost!” Ueno said.

 

“Why would I get lost?” I chuckled.

 

“Well you said you’re just going to get back here to get your camera but you never returned. Where did you go anyway?” Moonyoung asked.

 

“Oh… I uh… I went skating,” I said. “Sorry for making you worry.” For some reason I didn’t want them to know that I was with Park Kyesin. Probably to avoid their endless questions.

 

“You should’ve told us first. It’s a good thing we haven’t told seonsaengnim,” Ueno said.

 

“Sorry, okay? I just got carried away,” I said.

 

Jaehyun narrowed his eyes. “Was Park Kyesin there?”

 

Blood rushed to my cheeks. “What?” I said, avoiding his gaze.

 

“She was there, wasn’t she?”

 

“Kyuhyun?”

 

I sighed. “Okay fine. You got me. She was.”

 

“I knew it! You sneaky bastard!” Jaehyun chuckled.

 

“I was just curious about her, okay? I went to check if she was there and she was,” I said.

 

“Aha! Our Kyuhyun has fallen in the charms of Park Kyesin. Now all of us has stalked her,” Moonyoung laughed.

 

“Hey! I haven’t,” Ueno said.

 

“Okay, we get it, mister nice guy,” Jaehyun said.

 

“Can we all just go down and get dinner? I’m starving,” I said.

 

We all went down together to the function room. A dinner buffet was waiting for us there. I scanned the room and sense a feeling of relief when I saw Park Kyesin eating alone.

 

“She really hit you hard, didn’t she?” Jaehyun whispered to me. My cheeks burned. “Hey! Kyuhyun suggested to go sit down with her.”

 

“What?!” I said.

 

“Go, Kyuhyun,” Jaehyun smirked at me, and gave me a push.

 

I awkwardly took my plate of food and walked to her table. My heart was beating so fast as I approached her slowly. Her wavy brown hair flung down her shoulders beautifully. Her fair skin glowed.

 

“Uh… Hi…” I said.

 

She looked up at me. “Hi, sunbae,” she smiled. “Would you like to sit?”

 

I pursed my lips to keep myself from smiling too much. “Thanks,” I answered. I looked around but it turns out,  the others didn’t follow me. Jaehyun gave me a thumbs up. Oh god what do I do now. “I… Uh… I’m glad you came to eat.”

 

She chuckled. “I promised someone that I would.”

 

I chuckled giddily. Oh god why is she so adorable? “I think that that someone is happy you kept your promise.”

 

She furrowed her brows and leaned towards me. “Why is that so?”

 

Oh no… Blood rushed to my face as I thought of what to say. “Maybe because he finds you interesting.”

 

“I find sunbae interesting too,” she replied. “Sunbae is kind and caring.”

 

I glanced around. Everybody was staring at us. “Don’t you have any friends?” I asked.

 

She pouted and shook her head cutely. “All the girls in my class don’t want to talk to me.”

 

“Then can I be your friend?” I asked with a smile, but deep inside I was nervous as hell.

 

Her eyes sparkled in happiness as she smiled and nodded at me. “Of course, sunbae.” She neatly arranged her utensils as she finished eating. I grew conscious as she watched me eat. I set my utensils down shyly. She laughed, music like tiny little bells ringing. “No, please. Go on. Don’t mind me.”

 

I grimaced. “Well, it’s hard with you just looking at me,” I whispered.

 

She nodded. “Fair enough. Why don’t you tell me about you, then? You had your chance this afternoon. It’s my turn now.”

 

“What do you want to know?”

 

“Hmm…” She squinted her eyes as she thought. I could feel myself blushing again. “How many are you in the family?”

 

I was caught by surprised. That was rather an unusual first question to ask. “We’re four. Appa, eomma, noona and me.”

 

“Oh, you have an older sister? That’s nice,” she smiled. “So… What does sunbae like to do in his free time?”

 

“Well, I like reading… And playing Starcraft,” I chuckled.

 

She furrowed her brows again. Oh so cute. “Starcraft?” She asked.

 

I nodded. “It’s uhm… It’s a game you play.”

 

“Like chess?”

 

I shook my head. “No… It’s an online computer game.”

 

“Oh… I’ve never heard of it before. Is it popular in Korea?”

 

“Yes,” I smiled. “I could teach you one day if you like.”

 

She beamed at me. “Of course, thank you. I heard sunbae is excellent in Math.”

 

I felt embarrassed, but like, flattered embarrassed. “Well, uhm, yeah,” i answered. “Oh.. That brings me to a question I want to ask all day: Why are you here with us? I thought only the senior team is present.”

 

“Oh, Bae seonsaengnim asked…more like forced… Me to come. He wanted to show the training and expose me since they want me to join the competition later on as well,” she explained

 

“Oh,” i nodded. “So you’re good as well!”

 

She chuckled. Her cute laugh sounded like beautiful chimes in the wind to me. “I guess so.”

 

“Can I just say… your Korean is excellent! I mean you don’t have that foreign accent,” I said shyly.

 

“Oh… Thank you,” she said. “I really strived to learn while I was in England.”

 

“That’s great,” I said. I put my utensils down. “May I?” asking for her plate.

 

“Oh, no, no, I’ll do it myself, sunbae,” she smiled.

 

“Please, let me,” I said, taking it.

 

“Oh, thanks.” I put the plates in the basin and she followed quietly behind me.

 

“Uhm… Would you like to take a walk for a while?” I asked.

 

“Oh… uhm…” her cheeks flushed. “Actually, I was thinking of going back to my room already. I’m sorry, sunbae… it’s just that I have this Chemistry exam next week…”

 

“Oh, I see,” I nodded. “So… uhm… can I walk you to your room instead?” I asked.

 

She nodded. “Yes, sure. Thank you, sunbae.”

 

We went out of the function room and a gust of cold air blew. Without even thinking, I immediately took my coat off and put it on her. “Here,” I said.

 

“Oh, no, sunbae. I’m fine. Sunbae might get a cold,” she said, trying to return my coat.

 

“No, it’s okay,” I reassured her.

 

We walked shyly side by side back to the hotel. “Kyuhyun-sunbae…” she said.

 

“Yeah?” I answered and looked at her. My heart was about to pop out of my chest.  She was looking at me. I felt my cheeks burn.

 

“Thank you. For today,” she said. Her eyes sparkled.

 

“It’s no big deal,” I chuckled.

 

She looked up ahead and smiled. “It is to me.”

 

That moment...my world stopped spinning. Einstein was right. Time and space are in a different dimension. I wished I could stay in that moment forever… It was clear to me how time relatively slowed down that second she smiled. It was such a genuine and warm smile...an innocent smile made by such a pure soul. Einstein’s Theory of Relativity is real and right.

 

She stopped in front of her door. “This is me…” She said shyly. “I… Uhm… I’ll go ahead.”

 

I nodded. “Okay. Good night!”

 

“Oh! Here, sunbae… Thank you,” she said, handing me my coat.

 

“No problem.”

 

She gave me one last look and smiled, “see you tomorrow, sunbae.”, before going in her room.

 

“See you,” I replied. And I stood there, right outside her door for minutes. I was out of my mind. I wanted to talk to her more. I want to see her again. Yes, we’ll see each other tomorrow, but it’s not soon enough.

 

I slowly retreated to my room, head in the clouds, as I try to replay the moments we had together today. I lay on my bed, still fully clothed.

 

I was…? Am…? whipped.

 

Park Kyesin was insanely intelligent. That was what I learned the next day.

 

We were at the auditorium, and me and my roommates barely made it on time because of the early call time and well… We stayed up all night. All twelve of us seniors were up in the stage, spaced evenly apart, having a mock oral contest. I looked around for Park Kyesin. She was sitting at the audience, watching, observing, with Bae seonsaengnim near her.

 

The instinct to do well kicked in me. I had to. I wanted to impress her. To show that I was smart and capable.

 

The first few questions were easy. I nailed the first part. The moderate round was quite easy as well so I had no problem with that. Do take note that for the easy and moderate rounds, we weren’t allowed any paper. Everything had be done mentally.

 

The difficult round was, well, as the name suggests, difficult. We could solve using pens and papers now but all the questions were Calculus. In our normal class setting, we haven’t even tackled a bit of integrals yet. But since we’re the school’s team of Math olympiads, we had to know the question in advance.

 

I didn’t get everything perfectly, sadly. But those I didn’t get were questions no one did. The only problem I had was lack of time but otherwise, I could’ve gotten it.

 

However, there was one question that none of us got. We tried solving for it thrice, still nothing. If I remember correctly, it was the integral, among all real numbers, of 1 divided by the square root of 2 pi, multiplied by e raised to negative one half x-squared, dx. Lee seonsaengnim was furious. Until, Bae seonsaengnim called him out.

 

“Miss Park has an answer,” he said.

 

“Miss Park?” Lee seonsaengnim said.

 

“One, sir,” she answered confidently. She was not holding any paper or pen then.

 

How did she solve that? Mentally? How?

 

“That is correct,” Lee seonsaengnim declared.

 

All twelve of us stared at her. She shyly ducked her head.

 

Lee seonsaengnim did not explain how the equation was solved. Was it a concept we haven’t studied? But how did Park Kyesin solve it so easily? Does that make her smarter than me? Than all of us?

 

But I find it rather attractive. A shy, smart and beautiful girl… not to mention that she’s nice as well! I could feel that I was falling deeper and deeper in her charms.

 

I like Park Kyesin.

 

 

 

 

We were back in school. The incidents in the ski resort made me so curious about Park Kyesin that I came to the point that I want to stalk her. And I did try.

 

But I was terrible at it.

 

I haven’t seen Park Kyesin for days. And soon enough, the week quickly passed. I almost went crazy because it seems that she’s not even enrolled in this school. I have no idea how Ueno, Jaehyun and Moonyoung knew about her. I didn’t want to ask. I didn’t want them to see how whipped I was. So I stuck to my non-existent stalking skills by hanging out in the corridors near her classroom at break time,  and at the canteen at lunch break. But I never once saw her.

 

It was already Friday and there were auditions for the Cultural Concert. I have been singing for as long as I could remember. My mother would even say “Kyuhyun was already singing before he could talk.” I joined the church choir back when I was four or five and we even released an album then! I do love singing. My voice is good, and I am not exaggerating, else I wouldn’t be an idol now.  But back then, being an idol was just a dream of mine as high as the stars. Park Kyesin helped me reached them.

 

Ueno was with me. So was Jaehyun. Moonyoung was trying to score a date with a girl, I think. But it turns out, my hoobae, Ruma, who I asked to play the piano for me that day, was sick with flu. Since the audition was after class, there were only a few students left inside the school premises.

 

“Kyung seonsaengnim, please,” I pleaded. “Can’t I have an audition on Monday instead?”

 

“I’m sorry, Kyuhyun. I have to be fair,” he answered. “Most of these people have prepared hard for this. It would seem unfair if I gave you more time.”

 

“But Ruma is out sick. Isn’t that a valid excuse?” Ueno asked.

 

“I’m so sorry, boys. Unless you find a pianist or just sing a cappella, I’m afraid I can’t do anything for you,” Kyung seonsaengnim said before calling the next person who will audition in.

 

“What do we do?” Jaehyun asked. “Can’t you just sing a cappella?”

 

“I can… but… it might not be as good…” I said, hesitating. I sighed in defeat. I really wanted to perform in the cultural festival. “Maybe… I should just do it…”

 

And then out of nowhere, a melodious silky voice came. Like an angel’s. “I’ll do it,” she said. My heart started beating fast.

 

We all looked at her… Park Kyesin was standing shyly behind us, hugging her chemistry book.

 

“I’ll do it, sunbae. I’ll play the piano for you,” she said.

 

My cheeks burned. “You… you can play?”

 

She nodded. “Do you have a sheet?” you asked.

 

“Y-y-yeah,” I stuttered, handing her the papers.

 

She took them in her hands and scanned through. Her hazel eyes looked beautiful as they move. “Hmm… okay,” she smiled.

 

“Do you know the song?” I asked.

 

“Nope,” she pouted. “But it’s okay,” she assured me.

 

Kyung seonsaengnim opened the door and the person auditioning came out crying. “Next?” he said, as if unaffected by the crying student.

 

“Seonsaengnim, I’ll go now,” I said.

 

“Oh really? You found a pianist?”

 

“Annyeong haseyo,” Kyesin greeted with a bow. “My name is Park Kyesin.”

 

Kyung seonsaengnim scanned her from head to toe. “Alright, come in.”

 

I was nervous. Both for me and for her. Kyung seonsaengnim is strict when it comes to talent, especially music, since he was a renowned pianist before, and after retirement, he taught in his alma matter.

 

“Good luck,” Ueno and Jaehyun whispered.

 

I nodded.

 

“Is sunbae nervous?” Kyesin asked.

 

“A little,” I chuckled.

 

“I know sunbae will do well,” she smiled at me and it cheered me up.

 

She sat on the piano chair. My heart was pounding. She did not know the song. She was just going to play by the sheet. Was that enough?

 

I closed my eyes and let out a deep breath.

 

But the moment her fingers pressed the keys on the piano, all of my worries instantly disappeared. The music coming out of her fingers were so warm and light. They filled me up with confidence. It was perfectly beautiful.

 

Inspired, my voice came out smoothly and naturally. The emotions came pouring. Her piano shifted a little to complement me. It felt like I was having a performance of a lifetime. I haven’t sung like this before. Never in my entire life. It was overwhelming and unforgettable.

 

Kyung seonsaengnim was silent for quite some time but he was smiling. Smiling wide.

 

“You two…” he sighed happily. “That was very beautiful, thank you… thank you for letting me hear that. Congratulations, Mr. Cho. I believe you’ll perform in the cultural festival and I want you to perform last.”

 

I looked at Park Kyesin, overflowing in happiness. She smiled wide at me. “Thank you,” I told her.

 

“It’s nothing, sunbae,” she said.

 

“Mr. Cho, I suggest you also join the Chin-chin Festival contest. They will be having auditions soon. I think you have a big chance of winning.” Kyung seonsaengnim told me.

 

I nodded. “Thank you, seonsaengnim. Thank you.” Kyesin and I bowed before going out of the room.

 

“So?” Jaehyun was smiling wide.

 

I smiled back, nodding. “I’m in,” I said.

 

“Congratulations!” Ueno said, hugging me. “And oh, thank you… K-Kyesin,” he said.

 

“You’re very most welcome,” she replied. “But I’m sorry, sunbae. I have to go now.”

 

“Oh, really?” I asked. Just when we could’ve gotten closer…

 

She nodded. “I’m sorry. I’ll see you around.” She said before waving and then walking away.

 

I breathed a sigh. Why. Why is she everything I want?

 

“So, how was she?” Jaehyun asked.

 

“Oh, man…” I said. “If only you were there…”

 

“Was she great?”

 

“Great wouldn’t even cut it,” I said.

 

Ueno narrowed his eyes at me. “Kyuhyun… do you like Park Kyesin?” he whispered.

 

My eyes grew wide and my cheeks started burning. “What? I… uhm…”

 

“Oh! He does! He does!” Jaehyun shouted, laughing.

 

“Be quiet!” I scolded him.

 

“So you do?” Ueno had a sly smile on his face.

 

I rolled my eyes. “Well… I mean, who wouldn’t?” I said defensively.

 

“Okay, let me rephrase,” Ueno chuckled. “Cho Kyuhyun, do you have feelings for Park Kyesin?”

 

Jaehyun and Ueno were staring at me with their sly smiles and expectant faces. I sighed, defeated.

 

“Yes,” I replied.  The two cheered like madmen.  “But damn it! Be quiet! If she or anyone else gets word of this, I swear I will kill you both!”

 

“My lips are sealed,” Ueno said. “But Kyu, I’m happy for you. You’ve finally found a girl that would make you crazy.”

 

He’s right. Park Kyesin did make me crazy.

 

And she still does.

 

 

 

 

Another week has passed and it was the same as usual. I couldn’t find Park Kyesin. It was driving me mad! Where in hell do I find her? All I want is to see her at least once a day… if we could talk, then better… but she doesn’t show herself.

 

At the cultural concert, students from different levels who passed the auditions were expected to perform. There were various talents to watch. Different kinds of dances like ballet, hiphop, and a lot more. There were singers too. Even bands. Some played musical instruments. I was the last act, as Kyung seonsaengnim said. Ruma recovered from his sickness and was well and practiced during the day of the performance. I wished, however, that he could play as good as Kyesin did. But maybe I’m just biased and I let my feelings take over. He is a good player, though. But not nearly as good as she is.

 

I was next so I was waiting backstage for the great hiphop group of juniors to finish. I was nervous simply because I was going to perform in front of the whole school… and Kyesin would be one of those whom I’m going to perform to. I wanted my piece to be perfect.

 

But then again, fate likes toying with me.

 

“Sunbae,” I heard a familiar voice. I turned around. Kyesin was there wearing a white and blue off shoulder dress. She looks so beautiful.

 

“Oh… h-hey!” I greeted. I could feel myself blushing.

 

“Good luck, sunbae! Fighting!” she cheered. And it was absolutely adorable.

 

My heart was about to break through my ribs. “Thank you,” I replied with a smile.

 

She then waved and walked away. Did she… did she just talk to me? Did she go back stage just to wish me luck? Am I wrong to assume that maybe… just maybe… she has feelings for me too?

 

“Wow, sunbae!” Ruma told me. “You’re so lucky!”

 

“Ei~” I blushed. “We just became friends,” I said.

 

“Even though,” he said. “Do you know a lot of people wanted to ask her out but she keeps turning everyone down?”

 

“Really?”

 

“We all thought that maybe she has a boyfriend,” he said.  “But now… I have a new theory: maybe she already likes someone. You.”

 

“Don’t be ridiculous!” I laughed. Though I wished it was true.

 

I sang my heart out on stage, knowing that she would be watching. It was hard for me to look for her since there were approximately more than 500 students watching. I just wished my voice reached her. I went back to my seat after my performance. The hosts resumed their places.

 

“Wow! That was such a touching performance from senior Cho Kyuhyun!” they said. Everyone was clapping their hands and I felt happy. “But now, we have a surprise performance for all of you!” Surprise performance? There’s one more? I thought I was last?

 

“Yes,” the other emcee said. “For the first time in history, Kyung seonsaengnim will be playing for us!”

 

Kyung seonsaengnim went up the stage in his formal pianist outfit.  The audience roared. Oh wow. We all know Kyung seonsaengnim is an absolutely amazing player, and for us to hear it live. It would be such a great opportunity.

 

Kyung seonsaengnim took the mic. “First of all, I would like to congratulate all the performers today. You all did a wonderful job. Now, I would like to show everyone the talent I have been given. But…,” he smiled wide before continuing. “I would need some help. Please help me welcome Park Kyesin.”

 

My heart jumped again upon hearing her name. She went up to the stage slowly, like a reserved woman rather than just a high school student. Her hair was tied up neatly in a ponytail, and she was wearing a different dress. This dress now was long and blue. Sapphire Blue. Her pale white skin glowed as the blue color of her dress compliments it. She smiled confidently, as opposed to her shy smiles. Kyung seonsaengnim and Kyesin bowed.

 

What is she going to do? There was only one piano on stage? Will she play something else? Will she play as seonsaengnim conducts or something? I was at the edge of my seat.

 

Park Kyesin sat at far end of the piano chair. Kyung seonsaengnim sat on the other end. She closed her eyes and breathed deeply before placing her fingers on the piano. OH! A piano duet!

 

The song, as I recall, was Beethoven’s Sonata in D, Opus 6.

 

What I saw was an entirely different Park Kyesin. Not the shy little girl. But a confident and focused Kyesin. Her fingers moved fluidly. But the smile on her face never wavered. A genuine and soft smile. She was enjoying what she was doing. I kept my eyes on her happy and relaxed face. She looked so beautiful.

 

The music that the piano was giving out filled the whole auditorium. No one tried speaking up or making the littlest of noise. We were all enthralled to hear them play.

 

The piece was so light and warm. It was moving so fluidly up and down. It was like a day in the park. A quiet sunny day. Running, laughing and playing freely. The warm wind blowing against my face. I could feel myself being transported even though I knew I was in the auditorium of our school. I couldn’t even feel the aircon. I felt like I was really in the park, and the thing is: I felt like I was with her. I never knew music could do this. It was the perfect way to end the concert.

 

Outside, I tried looking for Kyesin. I just wanted to congratulate her for her excellent performance. Well, okay, fine. I wanted to talk to her. I don’t know. I’m going crazy, I think.

 

There were so many people everywhere. I went outside the building while searching for her. And then I finally found her by the gates of the school, wearing her white and blue dress back. But there were a lot of people surrounding her. Guys, I might add. Male students from all year levels and sections were there, giving her flowers, chocolates and other gifts. Others are asking for a picture. She looked so swamped and afraid but she never fails to say Thank you to everyone. Her hands were full of flowers and gifts already.

 

I couldn’t push myself through to her side. I wanted to at least help her carry all those stuff. But it was too crowded.

 

“Kyesin!” I shouted. I didn’t know why I did. I felt my cheeks burning as all the other students stared - no, glared - at me.

 

Park Kyesin turned her head. Her lips came up in a big smile, enough to take my breath away. “Sunbae!” she replied. “You were really good today, sunbae!”

 

“You too!” I answered before the other guys crowded to her more, pushing me back. I sighed. Kyesin kept her eyes on me as the guys swarmed her.

 

That moment I felt I had a chance… A chance to be something to her… something more than a sunbae, more than a friend. I wanted to be one.

 

But it all crashed and burned in a second. A shiny black sedan pulled over in front of the gates. The driver went down the car. He was an old man… British I think. He took the flowers and the gifts from Kyesin and put it inside the car.

 

And then… he came.

 

A tall young foreigner, slightly older than me, British as well, perhaps. “Kye~” He called and waved from the car door. Park Kyesin’s face instantly lit up. She ran to his side. The man kissed her forehead.

 

My heart shattered into pieces. Who was he?

 

Park Kyesin went in the car and the man went in after her. The car drove off.

 

I was standing frozen in the middle of the school grounds… So this is what it feels like to get your heart broken.

 

I’ve been dumped.

 

The next week, Moonyoung and I were in the library, researching about a topic that we are going to report in class. But lately I wasn’t in the mood to go to class mainly because I was heartbroken. I kept it to my friends though. But somehow they seemed to notice.

 

We were sitting on the library floor and I was reading what seems to be a sixty year old book. Moonyoung nudged me with his foot.

 

“Hey, Kyu. Are you alright? You’ve been down these days,” he said.

 

I sighed. “Yeah… I’m fine.”

 

He raised his eyebrow at me. “Really, Kyu? You don’t look fine.”

 

“Youngie, can we not talk about it?” I asked.

 

But that made him even more curious. He scooted over to sit beside me. “It’s about Kyesin, isn’t it?” he smirked at me.

 

I rolled my eyes at him. “No.”

 

“Why don’t you just approach her? Go talk to her!” he said. “You know, if you want her, then you have to make your move.”

 

I sighed. What would be the use of that if she already has a boyfriend?

 

“Look, Young. I don’t even know how to find her? I’ve been trying to for weeks but I couldn’t see her anywhere in school,” I said.

 

He furrowed his brows at me. He stood up and pulled me. “Come on.”

 

“Where are we going?!” I complained.

 

He pulled me all the way to the other side of the library. The side where the thick textbooks were. Only a few people go to this side. Usually only the professors do.

 

But there she was. Park Kyesin. Reading silently a thick book.

 

“She’s here?”

 

Moonyoung chuckled. “All the time. Whenever she has a break, she’s here. Reading.”

 

“Alone?” I asked.

 

Young nodded. “Yeah. I heard she doesn’t have many friends in her class…”

 

I nodded. “But she seems to like it, though. Studying, I mean,” I whispered.

 

Moonyoung smirked wide. “Kyesin, there’s someone who wants to see you,” he said aloud.

 

I stared at Moonyoung, surprised. “What about our research?” I gritted.

 

“She’s your research now.” He gave me a sly grin before pushing me.

 

Park Kyesin turned around. She smiled as she saw me. “Sunbae, you’re here too?”

 

“I… uh… yeah,” I said. I knew I was blushing as I stepped in closer. “Young and I were doing research.”

 

“Oh…” she nodded. “I’m sorry I wasn’t able to congratulate you during the concert properly, sunbae.”

 

“Ah, it’s okay,” I chuckled giddily. “You were really great though.”

 

“Thank you, sunbae,” she said, blushing.

 

“Mind if I sit?” I asked.

 

“Oh no, please,” she said. I then sat in front of her.

 

“What are you doing?” I asked. “What are you reading?”

 

“Just… some book on statistics,” she replied shyly.

 

“Hmm, so… uhm… how long have you been playing the piano?” I asked.

 

“Since I was five,” she smiled. “Music helped me a lot growing up. I believe every piece of music tells a story and I want to make music that will bring the people listening to it to the story.”

 

“You did it, though… Bring us to the story,” I said with a smile.

 

“I glad I did,” she chuckled. “But sunbae…”

 

“Yes?”

 

“You have a beautiful voice, sunbae,” she said honestly. My heart thumped. My cheeks burned. I’m hoping again. That maybe… maybe that wasn’t her boyfriend? Maybe…

 

“Oh… uhm… Thank you,” I chuckled shyly.

 

“I’m serious, sunbae. You really have a beautiful voice. I think you should be a singer,” she smiled.

 

“I do want to be one…” I said. “But my father wants me to be a lawyer.”

 

“Won’t you at least join the chin-chin festival Kyung seonsaengnim was talking about? I think you can win,” she said, batting her eyes at me.

 

And I couldn’t say no. “Well, okay. I’ll try.” I took a look at my watch. “Oh! It’s almost time!” i said.

 

“Really?” she checked her watch. She stood up and put the book back on the shelves. She gathered her things and we went out of the library, rushing to our rooms.

 

“Oh sunbae!” she suddenly said.

 

“Yeah?” I replied.

 

“Can I ask you a favor?” she asked.

 

“Hmm?”

 

“We’re supposed to do a paper on King Sejong… but i know nothing of Korean history but what I read from the textbooks. I wanted to learn the history through the people themselves. Will you teach me?” she asked.

 

My feet abruptly stopped. My hopes were high and above again. “I… uh…”

 

“Please, sunbae?” she batted her lashes at me. “You’re the only one who talks to me freely…”

 

“Oh…” I said. I then smiled at her. A lightbulb lit up in my head. “You know what? Why don’t we go on a field trip?”

 

“Where to?”

 

“Hmm… Sejongno! The place named after him,” I said.

 

She smiled wide at me and nodded. “Okay! When?”

 

“Are you free this Saturday?” I asked.

 

“Yes,” she replied.

 

“Shall we, then? Where should we meet? At the subway station?”

 

“That sounds great, sunbae,” she said. And then the school bell rang. “Sunbae, I’ll go ahead! Seonsaengnim doesn’t like late students.”

 

I nodded. “Okay, see you on Saturday!” She waved and then ran. “Let’s meet at nine, okay?” I shouted.

 

She looked back and smiled. She put her thumbs up.

 

“Yah!” the hall monitor hit me. “No shouting in the corridors.”

 

I bowed politely. “I’m sorry.”

 

I looked at her back as she slowly disappeared in the distance.

 

I have a date with Park Kyesin.

 

I came early to the subway station. I was a little sleepy since I stayed a little late the night before to brush up on my history about King Sejong. I didn’t want to disappoint her. I just then realized we didn’t talk about where exactly in the station we would meet. I decided to go and wait outside.

 

It was five minutes before nine when she came. I could still remember what she wore that day. It was a floral yellow sundress, a pair of white shoes and a sling bag. Her hair was tied up neatly. She was so cute.

 

She smiled at me as she came. “Sorry, I’m late. I saw a cat that was stuck on the tree on the way here and it needed help.”

 

Oh no. Even cuter.

 

“It’s okay. You’re early, actually,” I chuckled giddily. No Kyuhyun. Must. maintain. Composure.

 

“OH uhm…” she blushed, looking down at her feet. SO EFFING CUTE.

 

“Uh… shall we go now?” I asked.

 

“Yup, sure,” she nodded.

 

We went down to subway line 5 and got off at gwanghwamun station. It was quite awkward in the train. Neither of us said anything. I didn’t know what to say, actually. I didn’t know how to make small talk. I was thinking of what to talk about, but all I could think of was how cute she looks today.

 

We walked a little to the plaza using the underground walkway from the station. As I look around, there are a lot of couples hanging out, holding hands and walking sweetly. I wished I could hold hers.

 

I brought her in front of King Sejong’s bronze statue. “That is King Sejong. He is the genius behind the Korean alphabet. He lived during the Joseon dynasty.” I explained. Kyesin listened attentively. “He wasn’t the first born child. Usually, it was the first born who gets the throne.”

 

“Yes, that’s right,” she said.

 

“Well, he was the third son. His eldest brother got stripped of his title, and the second became a monk. That’s why he ascended to the throne. Even as a kid, he is very studious and excelled well. He was especially very good in linguistics.

 

“King Sejong wanted to promote Korea as an independent country,” I continued. “During that time, our cultures and technology were mainly based on Chinese practices. He changed most of those. He reformed the Korean calendar system. At that time, the system was based on the Chinese capital. He changed the system for it to be based on Korea’s capital, which is Seoul. In effect, the prediction of eclipses became more accurate.”

 

“Oh… that’s why there’s a celestial globe here,” she said.

 

“Yes,” I nodded. “He also made big advances to the Korean military. He started the use of cannons and they say he also made use of gunpowder. He was a very smart strategist, successfully invading a couple of places to strengthen the safety of his kingdom.

 

“But as you might know now, his greatest achievement was the development of Hangul. In ancient Korea, only the upper class were literate. The alphabet used then was Hanja, a derivative from Chinese. King Sejong developed the Hangul, a 28-letter alphabet as we know now. He wanted to reach out to the masses, so he developed something that we could call our own, and that what the lower and middle class people could easily learn. Do you know that the characters were made based on the position of the teeth, mouth and tongue?”

 

“Oh! I never thought of it that way! That is amazing!” she exclaimed.

 

“He left a great impact on Korea. Imagine the language and alphabet he developed then would still be used after over 500 years,” I said. “And that the Korean alphabet will be used to translate documents, books and important manuscripts all over the world so that it would be accessible to the general public. He made information within reach.”

 

She looked at the statue for a while before she spoke with admiration. “King Sejong is a genius.”

 

I chuckled. “Yes he is. But well, you are too.”

 

“Me?” she laughed.

 

“You solved that problem back in the training without any pen or paper,” I said. “You know, until know I don’t know how you did it!”

 

“Mhmm… it was a special distribution,” she said.

 

“A what?”

 

“Well, in statistics, they have special distributions. The one asked was a Normal distribution with mean 0 and variance 1. As long as the integral is a special distribution, the area under the curve is always equal to one,” she explained.

 

“Wow… you’ve studied a lot,” I said.

 

“Yeah… I had a lot of spare time,” she chuckled.

 

“Maybe you should have a monument here as well,” I laughed.

 

She chuckled. “Thank you, sunbae. This was more understandable than just reading about it,” she smiled at me. It took my breath away. We started walking around. “Sunbae… tell me… what is the difference between a queen consort and a royal consort?”

 

“Hmm… well, a queen consort is like the highest of the consorts. Strictly speaking, only her children will be able to ascend to the throne. The royal consort is the other wife of the king,” I said.

 

“Like a concubine?” she asked.

 

“Well, if you put it that way, yes, they are. But you have to understand that they are the ‘upper rank’ of concubines.”

 

“So there are other concubines as well?”

 

“Yes,” I answered. “There are some cases that the son of a royal consort can ascend to the throne but only if the king is in his deathbed and he has no siblings to take the throne, and no children from the queen’s consort.”

 

“Oh I see… Don’t they get jealous over the other or something?”

 

I laughed. “Well, yes, some of them do. It is politics, after all. Since they have ranks, they have power over the other.”

 

“Hmm…” she thought. “We have consorts back in England as well. But unlike in Korea, a royal consort isn’t necessarily a concubine. It’s just a general term to describe the spouse of the ruling king or queen.”

 

“Oh…” I nodded. “You sure miss England, do you?” I asked.

 

She smiled bitterly. “Yeah… It’s different here… It’s not bad, but I miss my family.”

 

“Did you have a lot of friends in England?” he asked.

 

“Hmm.. a little,” she smiled. “But most of them were the children of appa’s business partners. We went to school together. But I didn’t enjoy their company that much, to be honest. So I always went to the library to read when I have time.”

 

“Why is that so?” I asked.

 

“Well… they aren’t that quite… bright,” she answered.

 

“Oh,” I laughed.

 

“And all they usually care about is material things. They’re kinda… pretentious,” I said. “They even stab each other in their backs.”

 

“They sound like awful people,” I said.

 

“Yes they are,” she nodded. “But I had a few real friends as well. My classmates from the conservatory were nice. We all enjoyed each other’s company. A close friend of mine was from the conservatory. Ellie… She plays the piano too. She wasn’t that well off and her parents could barely afford the fees in the conservatory. But she really wanted to learn. I admired her for that. She’s really kind and carefree. And so, I secretly funded all her fees. She doesn’t know until now. I bet she’ll kill me if she finds out,” she laughed.

 

“Do you miss her?” I asked.

 

“Yes, of course. But we talk to each other almost everyday. We try to keep in touch,” she smiled.

 

“That’s nice.”

 

“I’m glad sunbae approached me… I’m really having a hard time blending in. For one, I look different. And almost all the girls in my class despise me,” she said.

 

“They’re just jealous,” I chuckled. “You got all the guys’ attention.”

 

“I didn’t ask for that,” she replied.

 

“Just don’t mind them. Not everyone is like that,” I said.

 

“Sunbae has been very kind,” she smiled at me.

 

“Besides me do you have any other friends?” I asked.

 

“Hmm… Moonyoung sunbae and I talk sometimes. Some of the guys in my class too… Well, at least I have a few than none at all, right?” she chuckled.

 

“Maybe you should find  a conservatory here as well. You seem to blend well with people who like music,” I suggested.

 

“Sunbae is good in music,” she said.

 

I blushed. “Well… no, not really. Not like you.”

 

She shook her head. “Sunbae knows music. You hear if something is out of tune. It looks like sunbae also knows how to play the piano. Sunbae’s hands look like it,” she said.

 

I chuckled, embarrassed. “Yeah… I do, a bit. I mean, not as good as you. But I do know how to play the clarinet and harmonica.”

 

“Oh that’s amazing! Not many people know how to play,” she told me.

 

“Music is amazing, isn’t it? It brings people together,” I said.

 

She chuckled. “Do you mean it brought us together?” she asked.

 

I looked at my feet. Damn. She’s smart. She knew what I was trying to say. “Well… yeah,” I admitted, holding the back of my neck shyly.

 

“Mhm… Sunbae is nice,” she smiled as she looked up at the sky.

 

I loved how the sun kissed her hair, throwing red sparks in the air. Her fair skin glowed, her thin red lips looked soft and her hazel eyes sparkled. She glanced at me and smiled, catching me in the act of adoring her. “Is sunbae hungry?”

 

“Would you like to eat?” I asked.

 

“Mhm…” she nodded. “Bung-o-pang!”

 

I laughed. “Okay, come on. Let’s look for a stall.”

 

“I want to try new food here in Korea,” she told me. “I keep eating the same things: kimchi, bibimbap, ramyeon, kimbap, samgyupsal, tteokbokki… And I don’t like those overpriced food in restaurants. I want the real deal. So when sunbae gave me that bung-o-pang, I was really happy.”

 

She’s adorable. She even gets excited with food! Just like me. “Hmm… you know what? Let’s look for sundae!”

 

“Sundae? Did you mean the ice cream?” she asked.

 

I laughed. “No, no! You’ll see. You’ll see.”

 

“Does sunbae like food?”

 

“Aniyo, I love it~” I sang.

 

“Oh…” she looked at me. “Sunbae’s voice fits autumn!” she exclaimed.

 

I chuckled, looking down at my feet. “Does it really?”

 

She nodded. “Sunbae should be a singer!” she clapped.

 

“Maybe one day I will,” I chuckled.

 

“Sunbae should! It’s a shame if the world won’t get to hear your voice,” she told me.

 

We went to a small restaurant nearby, not those fancy ones but those run by a family. It was a simple place, only few people were eating around. I glanced at Kyesin. She looked kind of out of place, but at the same time her beauty lit up the whole restaurant.

 

“Imo!” I called.

 

“What’s ‘imo’?” she whispered.

 

“In English, it means ‘aunt’,” I replied.

 

“I thought ahjumma was aunt,” she said.

 

“Ah, no. In restaurants, you say ‘imo’,” I told her.

 

“Oh okay,” she nodded.

 

The auntie came. “What can I get you two?” she asked.

 

“Imo, do you have tteoktwisun?” I asked.

 

She smiled wide. “Yes, of course!” then she wrote it down.

 

“Imo, do you have bung-o-pang too?” Kyesin asked.

 

“Oh, no, my dear. But I can run to the bakery nearby and buy you some,” she smiled.

 

“Oh thank you!”

 

The auntie turned to me. “You have such a beautiful girlfriend.”

 

My face turned red. “Oh, no, aniyo imo!” I shook my head defensively. “We’re not…”

 

“Oh, I’m sorry,” she bowed. “You looked good together. Anyway, is there anything else you’d want?”

 

“Uh… 2 cider, please,” I said. “Or would you like some iced tea?”

 

“Oh no, I’m allergic to tea,” she said.

 

“Alright. I’ll bring your orders right up,” she said.

 

“Sunbae, what is a cider?” she asked. I loved how she titled her head to the side in curiosity.

 

“Ah… in Korea, soda is called cider,” I explained.

 

“Ohh…” she nodded her head. “Thank you, sunbae. I’m learning a lot about Korean culture.”

 

“It’s nothing,” I smiled. “Tell me more about you.”

 

“What does sunbae want to know?”

 

“Hmm… When is your birthday?” I asked.

 

“March 3,” she smiled. “Sunbae?”

 

“February 3!” I laughed. “Favorite color?”

 

“Blue,” she said.

 

“Same,” I smiled. “Favorite book?”

 

“Mhm… that’s tough,” she laughed. “I guess, for novels, I have to say Les Miserables.”

 

“Ah…” I nodded. “I like The Prince and The Pauper.”

 

“Great book,” she smiled.

 

“Favorite...ice cream flavor?”

 

“Cookies and cream, without a doubt!” she said.

 

“Vanilla,” I replied.  “Favorite...drink?”

 

“Wine,” she confidently smiled.

 

“Wine? Really? So you’ve drank wine?” I asked.

 

“As long as I could remember,” she smiled. “My family owns a vineyard in Italy and a winery at Georgia. We have a vineyard here too… My mom…” her smiled turned a bit nostalgic. “She’s Italian, you see. She loves wine and everyday she drinks at least one glass at night. She believes in all the health benefits it could give, like anti oxidants and such. Well, as a kid, I was curious of how the ‘red juice’ tasted. Mom adored it and would let me dip my finger in her glass as early as four. The Italian in me liked it. I started really drinking when I was around 10… just a few mL per night, like how my mom does it.”

 

“Isn’t it dangerous? To start drinking that early?” I asked.

 

“Well, it depends on the person, really. For me, I like it ‘cause it reminds me of mom. But I know how to control myself. Of course, I’ve taken precautions as to how much I’m allowed to drink,” I said. “Maybe one day I could show you the vineyard we have here. It’s quite beautiful.”

 

“Do you miss your mom?” I asked.

 

“Yes, very much,” she answered with a wistful smile. “I miss my family a lot. So I was really glad James came over for even just a few days. I hope I could introduce you to him when he comes back.”

 

“James?” I asked.

 

“Remember the guy who fetched me after the concert?” she said.

 

Oh. . The ‘boyfriend’.

 

“Oh, yeah,” I answered. “Are you two close?”

 

“Yeah,” she nodded. “I was five when I met him. He’s five years older than me but he took care of me a lot growing up.”

 

My heart was starting to ache. “You two seem really close.”

 

“Yes we are!” she chuckled. “We grew up together. I really love him.”

 

And then my heart dropped. It was like it was shattering into pieces. She. Loves. Someone. Else. I put on my best smile.

 

“But he lives in England, right?” I asked. “Isn’t the distance a bit too...tough for you two?”

 

“Hmm... it is, but he calls me every night to check in,” she chuckled.

 

My heart sank. She really loves him.

 

Now, I wasn’t really a  selfish person, but for the first time in my entire life, I wanted something so bad I would give up anything just to have it. So I wasn’t ready to give up. The moment they break up, I would be there to catch her. Long distance relationships don’t last anyway, right?

 

Auntie came with our food. Sundae, tteok sauce and some fries, as well as Kye’s bung-o-pang. She thanked the auntie and took one bung-o-pang in her hands.

 

“This is sundae,” I told her. “You can eat it with the tteok sauce. I know it doesn’t look that good, but it tastes delicious.”

 

She laughed. “Oh sunbae, I’m not a picky eater.”

 

She took her chopsticks, got a piece of sundae and dipped it in tteok sauce. She ate it.

 

“What do you think?” I asked.

 

“I think we should go to food trips more often,” she chuckled. She took another piece and ate.

 

I laughed. She’s adorable! A girl who isn’t picky with what she eats.

 

I took a piece and ate with her.

 

 

 

I had loads of fun. Loads and loads. She was so extraordinary. Well, she still is. I was allured to her. Starstruck. It was like heaven talking to her. I love the way she laughs, the way she smiles, the way she looks at me…

 

How could I not fall for her?

 

But I wanted to ask her… all those time we were talking… if that James guy really is her boyfriend. If she has a boyfriend, then what chance do I have left? I mean, liking me is 50-50, but actually having a chance? I felt like I have perhaps less than 50%.

 

We were on our way back. We talked comfortably on the train and I can say confidently that we grew closer.

 

“Sunbae, my place is this way,” she said.

 

“Oh, I’ll go with you,” I said.

 

“Oh, no, sunbae. It’s not a long walk,” she said.

 

“Really, it’s fine,” I smiled.

 

She smiled back at me. “Thank you, sunbae.”

 

“So… do you walk everyday to school?” I asked.

 

“Yeah,” she smiled. “I like walking… I was always driven around back in England,” she chuckled.

 

I laughed alongside her. “You must be rich or something,” I said.

 

“Or something…” she nodded.

 

And then the sky suddenly turned dark and it roared. Giant raindrops fell from above.

 

“Oh no…” I muttered.

 

The rain suddenly poured. And it wasn’t just a light drizzle. No. It was full on raining cats and dogs. I took off my jacket and placed it above our heads.

 

“Come on, Kyesin!” I said, running. But then I looked around and she wasn’t beside me. I looked back and saw her standing in the middle of the sidewalk, looking up in the sky. I run back to her. “What are you doing?” I asked.

 

“I’ve never stood in the rain before,” she said, smiling at me. “I wondered how it feels like.”

 

Oh…her innocence is admirable. I smiled at her. “It seems like fun, doesn’t it? But if you stand in the rain, you’ll catch a cold. That doesn’t sound that much fun, does it?”

 

She laughed. “No it doesn’t.”

 

“So let’s go,” I said.

 

She nodded. “Come! My place is this way.”

 

We ran. My jacket barely covered us both. It wasn’t that far, though. We stopped at a very tall building with glass panelling everywhere. It seems to be such an expensive place to stay in.

 

“Where are you going?” Kyesin asked me. Her hair and clothes were dripping wet. So was mine.

 

“Uh… I better head home,” I said.

 

She shook her head. “Sunbae should dry off first. And I have an umbrella upstairs,” she said.

 

“I… uh…”

 

“Please, sunbae. You’ll catch a cold,” she smiled.

 

I had to chuckle. It was pretty funny. “Okay, okay,” I nodded.

 

Dripping wet, we rode the elevator up to the 8th floor. The hallways were quiet. She input her code and we went in her room.

 

This was the first time I have ever been to somebody else’s house. Somebody who isn’t my relative that is. And while outside, I was curious. What would it be like? Will I get to know a brand new Park Kyesin? Did she trust me that much that she can just show her house to me? Did she…perhaps…hold me as something dear?

 

“Mhm… I’m sorry for the mess, sunbae. I haven’t unpacked some of my stuff yet,” she said.

 

“No, it’s okay,” I chuckled shyly.

 

I took a step in. I took off my shoes.

 

And my god was she rich.

 

Now, I come from a well-off family, but Park Kyesin is a different story. Her house was huge enough for a family of four to live in. The whole house was monochromatic. White, brown, black… only neutral colors. It looked bright inside. The living room had a huge TV set, leather sofas, a rug that I could probably fall asleep in and glass furniture. There was a little garden too. The kitchen had pure marble fixtures. Her stove as so high tech I didn’t even know that those things exist. And by the kitchen was a mini bar. There were bottles of wine displayed.

 

Park Kyesin came back with a white towel and some clothes. “Here, sunbae. Change into these. I think James is just a little bigger than you,” she said.

 

Ouch. How did she have James’ clothes?

 

“Thanks,” I muttered.

 

“The comfort room is that way,” she pointed and I followed.

 

The CR was humongous. I could already sleep in here. There was a huge tub, a spacious shower area and marble fixtures. The whole bathroom was just colored black and white. It was so simple yet so elegant.

 

I took off my clothes, and wiped my hair and body with a towel. I took a look at the clothes she gave me. It was a pair of denim pants and a sweater from Oxford University. Did James go to Oxford?

 

I looked at the mirror, thinking to myself as I try to fix my hair. If James went or is going to Oxford and he is Kyesin’s boyfriend…then what chance do I have left?

 

I’m no statistics major but these were the things that were coming to my mind.

 

Null hypothesis: James is her boyfriend. Alternative hypothesis: James isn’t her boyfriend.

 

Then at which alpha level of significance is the null hypothesis still accepted? If I treat my p-value as my chances with her, now being around 10% or 0.1, then it would be at around alpha>0.1. So in short, I am now 90% confident that the null hypothesis is true… which is bad. 90% isn’t that high confidence interval.

 

And why does she have his clothes? Do they live together? No, no. It can’t be. She mentioned he lives in England… then why?

 

Then it came to me. Did… did they sleep together?

 

I was in the brink of losing my mind. I was trying to deny it…that she wasn’t that type of girl… that he isn’t her boyfriend… but when all the facts are staring back at you like this, what do you do?

 

I sighed… There’s nothing now but to confront it…to face the truth that I may be only a friend to her. Only someone whom she could trust just because I gave her a bung-o-pang… damn, bung-o-pang. You have failed me.

 

She was in the kitchen, with a towel on her head. She has changed her clothes as well. She wore a loose sweater and a pair of shorts. Her legs…………… her legs are so white. I tried to look away.

 

“Sunbae, you could place your clothes at the drier,” she said.

 

I did as she said and hung my clothes to let them dry. I didn’t notice it before but in her living room was a floor length window panel. I looked outside. It was still raining hard.

 

“Sunbae…” she gave me a cup. “It’s honey and lemon tea with a touch of ginger. It’s good for you,” she said.

 

I took it from her and took a sniff. It smelled good. “Thank you,” I said.

 

She sat down on the sofa with a mug of hot chocolate. “Honey since you’re voice is like honey, lemon for good circulation and a lot more health benefits, and of course, ginger for soothing your throat,” she whispered.

 

I smiled. She’s very thoughtful.

 

She was busy drying her hair when I gathered up all my guts to ask her subtly about this mysterious guy James.

 

“Hey, Kyesin…” I said.

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Wouldn’t your namchin be angry at me if he learns that you let me borrow his clothes?” I asked.

 

She looked at me, bewildered. “Namchin?” she asked.

 

“Namchin… short for namja chingu…. Boyfriend,” I said.

 

This is it. The whole truth. Was I ready for it? No.

 

“I know what it means, sunbae,” she laughed. “But… who’s my boyfriend?”

 

I raised an eyebrow up. “James,” I said.

 

She stared at me for a good five seconds before bursting into laughter. I felt like an idiot standing there, not knowing what was going on with her head.

 

“Sunbae!” she laughed. “oh sunbae…”

 

“What? Why? What’s wrong with what I said?”

 

“James isn’t my boyfriend!”

 

“he’s not?” I asked. I was shocked.

 

She shook her head. “He’s my brother,” she smiled.

 

“Oh…” Relief washed through me. He. Isn’t. Her. Boyfriend. Now I really feel like an idiot for making assumptions. Now it made sense why she loves him so much and why she has his clothes. Ha ha at all my statistical thoughts earlier. Stupid Kyuhyun. Stupid.

 

“Why would sunbae think James is my boyfriend?” she asked, chuckling.

 

“Well… because you look nothing alike! And you said you met him when you were five and you grew up together,” I explained.

 

“Oh…” she nodded. “he’s my step-brother.” She told me.

 

“Oh… I see,” I said. Was she adopted? Or was he adopted?

 

“Was sunbae jealous?” she asked.

 

“Well, yeah. Coz I like you,” I answered abruptly. I didn’t even know I was saying that aloud until I have said it. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid. Kyuhyun. Her hazel eyes stared at me.

 

“Sunbae…likes me?” she said.

 

I felt my cheeks burning. I stood up and placed my empty cup on the table. “I… uh… I have to go. My… my mom is looking for me now…”

 

“Sunbae, wait,” she said.

 

“Thank you for your hospitality. I’ll see you in school, okay?” I said.

 

“Wait, sunbae!” she stood up as I rushed to the door.

 

I went out of her place and nearly ran to the elevator. I pushed the button and prayed that the elevator comes on time.

 

“Kyuhyun sunbae!” she called from the corridor. Thankfully the elevator doors opened. I quickly went inside and pressed the G button.

 

I wish the ground will swallow me now. I just accidentally confessed to Park Kyesin.

 

“Sunbae!” she called, but the elevator doors closed. I breathed a sigh of relief.

 

WHAT THE HELL WAS I THINKING?

 

-----

Hey everyone! Here is the second update, as promised!

Thank you for reading! Be sure to COMMENT your thoughts below. SUBSCRIBE & UPVOTE if you liked it :) See you all next week ;)