Kyuhyun
 

“Guess what, hyung,” I said, slumping down on the sofa.

“What?” Heechul hyung replied while looking at his phone. He must be playing something. Henry had nothing to do so he hung out at our dorm, looked at me.

“Remember Park Kyesin? She’s back,” I said.

Heechul hyung froze. Ryeowook dropped his whisk. Henry and Heechul hyung exchanged soulful looks.

“What? You knew?!” I stood up from my seat.

“Sorry, hyung,” Henry spoke. “I wasn’t going to tell anyone, but Heechul hyung found out.”

“Hyung! Why didn’t you tell me?” I said to Heechul hyung.

“Ya! Why would you want to know?!” he rebuked. “Is it that important to you?!”

“Kyuhyun-ah,” Ryeowook spoke softly. “It’s not a big deal.”

“That what? You’ve been hanging out with that...that...that girl behind me?” I said, furious.

“She’s really busy. We don’t hang out as often as you think, Kyu,” Ryeowook was trying to pacify me.

“Hyung, calm down,” Henry said.

“Calm down?! How long have you known she’s back?”

“Three months,” he replied.

I threw my hands in the air, defeated. “You knew ever since she came back?!”

“Hyung, she just needed a place to stay for two nights since her apartment wasn’t ready yet so I offered my place,” Henry explained.

“And you were the only one she called!” I shook my head in anger.

“Hyung, she didn’t know what else to do! She had no friends. I was the only one she kept in contact with--” Henry stopped mid-sentence.

“You. Kept. Contact. With. HER?!” I gritted through my teeth.

“Sorry hyung. We grew really close back when--”
 

“Don’t say it!” I roared, stopping him mid sentence.

“Look, hyung, I was her best friend before. She didn’t want to keep contact actually, but I forced her. It’s hard to let go of a friend like that.”

“Hyung! How did you find out?” I asked Heechul, busy with his phone as if this isn’t serious talk.

“Aish! I missed Henry so I went and visited his apartment. And then, she was there,” he shrugged.

“How long have you known?”

“Two months.”

“And you?” I asked Ryeowook.

“Heechul hyung told us here in the dorm,” he said, continuing to whisk the pancake batter. “Everyone knows except you and Siwon hyung because he was always somewhere else.”

“We had a meeting,” Heechul hyung spoke up. “And Teuk suggested we shouldn’t tell you.”

“And why is that?!” I said, furious.

“Because this is exactly how we thought you would react!” Heechul hyung put his phone down and looked at me seriously. “For ’s sake, Kyuhyun! That happened 7 years ago! Stop it and let her live her life!”

“I don’t understand why you are all siding with her!” I grumbled.

“YAH! Kyuhyun-ah! She’s my friend and I hang out with whoever I want to,” Heechul hyung stood up and went to his room.

“Sorry, Kyu,” Ryeowook whispered.

“Aish! What more can I do? You all went to see her behind my back,” I said, sitting back on the sofa.

“We really don’t hang out often. We’re all busy. We must’ve eaten just once. I barely even talked to her. Most of us did,” Ryeowook said. “It’s her and Henry and Donghae and Heechul hyung who hangs out quite often.”

“Wow. Thanks for that, hyung,” Henry muttered making a sour face.

“Aish! I need air!” I said, stomping off. I grabbed my cap and mask, put on specs and went out of the dorm.

How could they do that to me? See her behind my back?! After what she did… After all the pain that she caused. After everything….

She left me without a goodbye.

Kyesin

I pouted at my computer screen. There’s a document I am supposed to be finishing but I couldn’t. And I knew exactly why.

His face keeps popping in my mind. Cho Kyuhyun’s, of course. The face he made when he learned I got back three months ago. His angry face.

I knew him well enough. And Cho Kyuhyun… He’s not the type of person to keep a grudge. He’s not the type of person to be angry for a long time. So if he does, you know you did something seriously wrong.

I know I did.

Henry kept in touch with me when I went to America. I didn’t want to, but he was childish and wouldn’t stop so I gave in. We grew really close before I left. He was my best friend. And after all, 1 out of 15 members won’t be a big deal.

My relationship with Henry was unlike any other member. We could talk about anything. Music. Movies. Food. Everything we both liked. So he told me everything I wanted to know while I was away. The usual questions. How are you? Do you have many schedules? Have you heard of this piece? What piece was he trying to learn?

And yet he knows there’s always that one question that I wanted to know the answer yet couldn’t ask myself: How was Cho Kyuhyun?

He would subtly tell me so in his stories. The first few months after I left was torture. By the tone of his voice, I could tell that Cho Kyuhyun was furious for what I have done. Yet I forced myself not to be affected… or at least show it.

It was harder when Henry accidentally told me he started dating. I told him it was okay. Kyuhyun has the right to. He should.

But I knew I was lying to myself.

As time passed, I learned to just love Kyuhyun from afar. Be that invisible face in the crowd. I supported him, still. I bought his albums, bought his songs and merchandise. It was, after all, my way of taking care of him… Making sure he has money to keep him fed. But It was no use hanging on to faded memories. I convinced myself that I would be happy if he was. I thought it worked.

He offered that I should just stay in his place instead of getting a hotel when I got back three months ago. My place wasn’t ready yet. I knew if I stayed there, it would cause trouble.

But like I said, he was childish and wouldn’t stop. So I finally agreed. Two days won’t hurt, I guess.

And it didn’t. Not yet, at least.

A month after I moved back to Korea, it started. I thought I was safe. Henry and I kept me moving a secret. We might as well since our connections overseas were made secret too. But one day, Henry invited me to hang out with his production team. I had nothing to do that day so I said yes.

I should’ve been more careful.

Kim Heechul, the boy more beautiful than a flower, walked into Henry’s pad and saw me there. He was surprised at first, of course. He grew mad at Henry for keeping it a secret. But unlike Cho Kyuhyun, he wasn’t mad at me.

Next to Henry, Kim Heechul was the member whom I have loved the most. He practically took care of me as his little sister. He was a very observant and sensitive person. He knows exactly how I feel.

He welcomed me with open arms. I missed him, and he too, missed me. It’s as if nothing has changed between the two of us.

He later told it to the other members. I begged him not to tell Kyuhyun. It’s better off that way. I wanted him to live his life. And luckily, the other members agreed with me.

Donghae would call often to hang out. Heechul too. Henry, of course. They were the closest ones to me back then, besides Siwon. But Siwon was always busy and I figured they haven’t told him that I have returned.

But still, everytime I hang out with them, I feel this jabbing pain on my chest. Guilt? Remorse? It’s as if they were betraying Kyuhyun by seeing me.

And I don’t want that. I was the bad person in this story. I did something I have regretted for seven years.

I left him without a goodbye.

------

HELLO EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can you guys figured out what happened? If you have an idea, COMMENT your thoughts below! ALSO... UPVOTE if you liked it!

Thank you so much for reading :)

EVERYONE HERE'S A GOOD SONG

Hey! The song I'm recommending this week is Yesung's 벚꽃잎 (Spring in Me). It's my favorite song in his album. I really like the melody and the duet sounds so magical like a Disney movie song. So, please try listening to it. It's really good. I wouldn't recommend it if it wasn't :)