I lay on my bed, tired… confused… Cho Kyuhyun’s kiss still tickles my lips even until now. Why? Why couldn’t I just let go of every feeling I have for him? I know that I learned to love him from afar back in the States… that I was happy as long as he’s happy and healthy. Why can’t I do the same now? That as long as I knew he was healthy, I could carry on and live my life. Was I just lying to myself?

 

The truth is, I never planned to go to America. I didn’t want to. Seven years ago, I felt like my life was in Korea – or wherever Kyuhyun was. He was my life to be precise.

 

So what did happen? Why did I leave?

 

Einstein theorized that time is relative. For example, one person can experience time relatively faster or slower than another person. This explains the situations where one feels like the world stop spinning and time is slow. There are a lot of classical examples of this phenomenon which are easily accessible through books or online, so I won’t discuss further.

 

However, I’ll extend this thought into how a person perceives things. Perception is also relative, perhaps mainly because no two people think exactly alike (or maybe a very rare event like this exists but it has to be a one in a million chance). I say this now as a disclaimer, that the things I say thereforth may have appeared different to other people, as perception, as I’ve said, is relative. Therefore, what I say now isn’t the truth, but rather just my side of the story.

 

 

 

As you all know, Kyuhyun has passed the audition at SME with flying colors. And within two months of training, he debuted as the 13^th member of Super Junior. I was relieved he passed. The only problem then was convincing his dad to let him train. Cho appa was furious at first, of course, but knowing that his son has got a voice of an angel that should be heard around the world, he eventually caved in, with a  little help from my pleading, of course. But Kyu didn’t know any of that. I chose not to tell.

 

His vocals were already excellent when he got in the company. That’s why he debuted immediately. He only trained for two months, but those two whole months brought such a shock to him. He barely got any sleep since he was going to school in the morning, and then training right after til dawn. I wasn’t allowed to see him train as per company rules, but he would call me right before he goes to sleep. I knew my voice would give him strength so even though he would call at around 3 in the morning, I would still wake up just to cheer him on. I could hear over the phone that he was dead tired, but then he really wanted this. He even complained before about not getting the steps in the dance, since, well, he’s not even a dancer. But he tried so hard just to make his dreams come true. I know. I was a witness to all that.

 

And then, two months after admission to the company, he was asked to record a song. It was his debut song, ‘U’. When he learned he was going to be a new member of the project-slash-experimental group called ‘Super Junior’, he immediately called me to tell the good news. He was overjoyed that it didn’t matter if he only got to sing a couple of lines in the song, as long as he could sing. After all, he said it was one step closer to being a proclaimed singer like Park Hyoshin. I was excited for him – that in such a short while, he was going to make his dreams come true. I couldn’t wait to buy their album. I couldn’t wait to hear his voice in the track and say, “Hey, that’s my boyfriend’s voice.” I was proud of him. I still am.

 

But then one day, it was late and I was reviewing at home when I hear my doorbell ring. I opened my door and found Kyuhyun standing by my doorstep.

 

“Hi,” he greeted in a mellow voice. His lips were up in a smile but his eyes… his eyes were sad.

 

“Hey,” I greeted to cheer him on.

 

“Can I come in?” he asked.

 

“Yeah, sure,” I nodded.

 

Kyuhyun went inside my place. I closed the door and then hugged him from behind, trying to lift his spirits up.

 

“I missed you,” I said.

 

He breathed deeply. He turned around and looked at me. His eyes began to turn watery. He took me into his arms and wrapped me in his warm embrace. “I miss you too,” he whispered.

 

“What’s wrong, oppa?” I asked.

 

“Nothing. I just wanted to see you,” he replied.

 

I cup his face between my hands. “I know when you’re lying,” I whispered. “Tell me.”

 

His eyes were red as a tear dropped from his eye. “They hate me,” he said.

 

That instant, my heart broke. I have never seen him cry. Never. It was the first time I saw him vulnerable and weak. Not physically but emotionally and mentally weak. I pulled him to my couch and sat on his lap, wiping the tears that fell down his face. No… my angel is crying…

 

“Hey, hey…” I crooned, soothing him. “They don’t hate you.”

 

“Yes they do,” he said. “Leeteuk hyung…” his sobs broke him off. “Leeteuk hyung… asked me…to cook ramen… i…i…i…just put too much water and… he…he… he got so angry at me…”

 

“Shh… shh… Look at me,” I instructed. His eyes were lost. I pressed my lips against his, knowing it would calm him down and pull him together. And it did. “Look at me. They don’t hate you,” I said. “They just need… a little bit of time to adjust. You’re a new member. You haven’t got to know a bit of each other, right? I know it’ll be hard. But I promise, it will get better, okay, Kyu? You got me. We’ll get through this together, okay?”

 

He brushed my face with his hand. His sad eyes look at mine. “Only Donghae hyung, Siwon hyung and Ryeowook are nice to me…” he whispered.

 

“Then start from them. Get to know them, and eventually, the other members. You’ve got a lot of friends in school Kyu, and you even made me love you. I’m sure they will learn to accept you too,” I said.

 

He looked at me and breathed deeply. He took me into his arms and hugged me tight. “You’re the only one who keeps me going right now…” he whispered in a weak voice.

 

“Think of your dreams, Kyu… Don’t you want to be a singer?”

 

“I do! I do! But this… I barely get to sing in a song. I don’t have schedules. Everyone else is out with a variety show recording or a radio broadcast and I’m stuck at the dorm with nothing to do…” he said.

 

“Kyu… you shouldn’t be selfish about these things yet…” I told him as I continuously brushed his styled hair. “You just debuted. You should be thankful with whatever they offer you. And once you’ve already worked hard on your own, and an opportunity opens, grab it and never let go.”

 

He sighed. “You’re right…” he whispered. “Hey Kye?”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“May I stay here for the night?”

 

“Won’t you be in trouble for not staying in the dorm?” I asked.

 

He shook his head. “They probably won’t even notice I’m gone. They’ll all be back at dawn…and they’re tired so they won’t even bother look for me.”

 

“Alright,” I nodded. “As long as you won’t get in trouble.”

 

I sat up and looked at him, cupping his cheek with my hand. He wasn’t crying anymore and his eyes showed relief.

 

“Sorry you had to see me like this… Sorry I stopped you from reviewing…” he said.

 

I shook my head. “You don’t have to say sorry, oppa. Besides, I was just reading advanced topics when you came.”

 

“Thank you for supporting me, Kye,” he said as he cupped my face. He pulled me close and softly pressed his lips on mine. “I love you.”

 

I smiled wide at him. “I love you, too, Cho Kyuhyun. And I know, one day, you’ll be famous. People around the world will know your name and will be moved when they hear your voice. But! You’re mine only, okay?  You promised me! You’ll have many girls following you around but you’re only allowed to look at me, alright?”

 

He laughed. Finally. “Of course, love.” He chuckled more.

 

I stood up and fixed my things on the table, putting them in my bag ready for school. Kyuhyun positioned himself in the couch, ready to take a nap. He fluffed the pillows and lay down. I breathed deeply. He’s been through a lot these past couple of months. He deserves better.

 

“oppa,” I whispered, carefully touching his hand. His eyes fluttered open.

 

“Hmm?” he answered.

 

“The bed is comfier…” I whispered and I felt my cheeks burn. “if… if you can’t sleep here… just… just go to my room…”

 

I shyly went to my bedroom, tucked myself in and shut my eyes, leaving a giant space on my bed for Kyuhyun to sleep in. I wanted him to sleep beside me. But if I told him right out front, wouldn’t that make me a soft and gullible woman?

 

I heard the door open and then close in a while. I curled up in my blanket. I felt the bed move.

 

Then, I felt Kyuhyun brushing my cheek with his hand. And then, he combed my hair with his fingers. Then, I felt his lips on my forehead…slowly traveling down my face…to my closed eyes… to my nose… to my cheeks…. And finally to my lips. “I know you’re still awake…” he whispered.

 

I opened my eyes and saw Kyuhyun smiling at me.

 

“I’d like to sleep with you, if that’s okay,” he whispered to me.

 

“O-okay…” I said nervously.

 

Kyuhyun held my hand. I could feel my heart racing. “May I hug you?” he asked.

 

I nodded willingly.

 

Kyuhyun spread his arms and took me in them. I could feel my heart beating fast and hard – about to leap out of my rib cage. I lay my head on his warm chest. I placed my hands on them as well. And it felt absolutely wonderful. I wished I could stay like this forever – in his arms, warm and loved.

 

“I love you,” Kyuhyun whispered. “I wouldn’t know what I’ll do if I lost you… so stay with me, okay?”

 

I pressed my face closer to him. “As long as you need me,” I replied. “and I love you too.”

 

 

 

Once again, I was alone in school. Kyuhyun, Ueno-sunbae and their other friends have graduated, leaving me alone again. But it didn’t matter to me. I do miss the lunch dates at the rooftop, though. I go there once in a while.

 

When I’m not studying, I spent most of my time worrying about Kyuhyun. I was worried a lot. I wanted to help him, so that I could somehow relieve some of the pain he’s feeling. He told me the members are starting to accept him already; it wasn’t as bad as before, but still, he feels a little bit left out when they have schedules and he doesn’t. I want to help him. But I don’t know what to do.

 

One Friday, about five months after Kyuhyun’s debut, I was walking back home when I happen to pass by the pizza parlor we both love. A thought came into me and I immediately ran inside, ordering five boxes of pizza. I took a cab and rode to his dormitory. I took a deep breath before ringing the doorbell.

 

A man – wait, no a woman – wait, no! A man? WHAT? This beautiful creature came out and opened the door. He…she…whatever he or she is… beautiful! I was lost for words.

 

“Yes?” He asked.

 

“Oh… uhm… I’m-I’m K-Kyu—“

 

“We didn’t order pizza,” he snapped before closing the door on me.

 

“But I’m not – “

 

I sighed… Right… I should’ve told Kyuhyun I was going first. What was I thinking? I can’t just barge in a room full of idols.

 

The door suddenly opened. Kyuhyun went out. “I knew it was you,” he sighed, smiling at you. “Sorry about Heechul hyung. He hates it when sasaengs come and disturb us.”

 

“Sasaeng?” I asked. It was the first time I’ve heard of that word.

 

“Crazy fans who stalk us,” he explained. “Let me take those from you.”

 

“Oh… Wait… you said ‘hyung’. That was a guy?!”

 

“Yeah!” he laughed. “He’s very pretty, isn’t he?”

 

“Yes! I thought it was a girl.”

 

“Did you come here because you miss me?” he smiled teasingly.

 

“Mhm… yeah… and I was worried about oppa… I thought maybe if you brought them food, they would like you better,” I said.

 

He laughed. “’The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach’, right?”

 

“Right!” I laughed with him.

 

He smiled at me and quickly pressed his lips on mine. “Thank you for worrying about me. I miss you too. I’m glad you came by.”

 

I smiled back at him. “Well then… I better get going…”

 

“Wait, Kye!” he called.

 

“Yes, oppa?”

 

“Would you like to meet them?” he asked. “Heechul hyung seems to be curious about you.”

 

“Oh… really? Do you think it’s fine?”

 

“Yeah,” he nodded. “They’ve been starting to warm up to me anyway.”

 

“Okay,” I nodded.

 

I followed behind Kyuhyun as he went inside their dormitory.

 

“Yah! Kyuhyun-ah! Why’d you suddenly run out?” I heard someone say.

 

“I’m sorry Teuk, hyung. But here, I have pizza for everyone,” Kyuhyun replied.

 

“Pizza?!” I heard someone else say excitedly.

 

“Kyu! Where’d you get all those –“ a handsome man with a bit of a bulky figure said before staring at me. “Who’s that behind you?”

 

“A foreigner?” A small young man said which I found to later on be called Donghae.

 

“Ah…” Kyuhyun smiled shyly before stepping aside. “I’d like everyone to meet my girlfriend.”

 

“Hi! My name is Park Kyesin. It’s an honor to meet you all,” I said, bowing in respect.

 

“Girlfriend?!” the pretty man from earlier said with eyes round. He went towards me and bowed. “I apologize! I thought you were a crazy fan!” He stood up, took my hand and shook it. “Kim Heechul, by the way,” he smiled.

 

“Ani, ani. It’s okay, Kim Heechul-ssi. I should be the one apologizing since I shouldn’t have come all of the sudden,” I said.

 

“Ei~ That’s okay! You brought us pizza anyway,” he beamed.

 

“Kye, these are the members. Leeteuk hyung is our leader,” Kyuhyun said while pointing to a man with average height but had deep deep dimples. “Next is Heechul hyung. You’ve met him already. And then this is Hankyung hyung.”

 

A tall man who tailed Kim Heechul-ssi shook my hand. “Hello! Nice to meet you.” He had some kind of accent which told me that he wasn’t Korean.

 

“Nice to meet you, too,” I said. “Uhm, in any case, are you not Korean?”

 

“Ah, Hankyung hyung is Chinese,” Kyuhyun explained.

 

“Oh zhen de ma? Wow! Wo shi ka xi. Ren shi ni, wo hen gao xing!” I greeted, overjoyed that there was a foreigner just like me.

 

“Oh! Wow! You speak Chinese?” he asked. We were having a full conversation in Chinese only.

 

“Yes, just a little. I started learning when I was seven,” I said.

 

“Kye, You speak Chinese?” Kyuhyun asked.

 

“Yes,” I nodded.

 

“Oh…”

 

“She’s great at it too,” Hankyung-ssi said.

 

“Okay… uhm… this is Yesung-hyung, main vocalist,” he said, pointing to the skinny guy with chinky eyes. “He looks serious now but he’s actually the weirdest one of us all,” he whispered. “Don’t ever ask him to dance.”

 

“Yah! This maknae!” he said.

 

I chuckled. “Nice to meet you Yesung-ssi!”

 

“This is Kangin-hyung,” he pointed to the handsome and bulky man from earlier. “This is Shindong-hyung.” He was healthy and looked like a cheerful man. “Sungmin-hyung.” He was cute with his natural…what do they call it again? Natural aegyo? Then, two men came forward – obviously best friends. “He’s Eunhyuk hyung and he’s Donghae hyung. Eunhyuk hyung is our main dancer, Donghae hyung is the lead.” Ah… Donghae? He was the one Kyuhyun mentioned to be one of the members who are nice to him from the beginning. It appears to me that Donghae-ssi is his favorite hyung. “This member here is Choi Siwon.” A tall super handsome guy with an infectious smile came and bowed politely.

 

He extended his hand and you shook it. “Nice to meet you, Kyesin.” His dimples showed as he smiled.

 

“Choi Siwon-ssi…” his name sounded familiar. “Could it be? Is your father, Choi Kiho-nim?”

 

“Oh? You know appa?” he asked.

 

“I met him in Italy a few years back. He came to see my appa… He said they were best friends back in high school,” I said.

 

“Oh, I’ll make sure to mention you to appa,” he smiled. “And I’m sure he would want to send his regards too. How is he, by the way?”

 

Kyuhyun looked at me worriedly and squeezed my hand. I took a deep breath and smiled the best I can. “He passed away.”

 

“Oh, I’m sorry,” he apologized. He was unbelievably charismatic.

 

“It’s okay. It was a long time ago.”

 

“Hey Kye,” Kyuhyun whispered. “Are you alright?”

 

“Yeah,” I nodded.

 

“Meet Ryeowook and Kibum, the youngest in our group,” he said. Ryeowook smiled wide at me. His eyes disappeared into slits.

 

“Hi! Nice to meet you!” Kibum-ssi suddenly spoke English.

 

“Oh! Nice to meet you too! Do you speak English?” I asked, using the language.

 

“Just a little,” he smiled. He was pretty charismatic… like, what do they call them here again? Ah! Flower boy! “British, correct?”

 

“Yes,” I smiled.

 

“That’s nice.”

 

“Actually, Kyesin bought all these pizza for us,” Kyuhyun said as he put them down on the counter. I felt myself flush.

 

“Did you really?” the leader said, if I remember correctly. “Thank you. These kids have a big appetite so I really appreciate it. Trust me, it’s so hard to keep these kids full.”

 

You laughed. “You’re welcome, Leeteuk-ssi.”

 

“Please, don’t hesitate to call me ‘oppa’,” he smiled, showing off his dimples.

 

“Oh, okay,” I nodded.

 

The members all dug in the pizza. Kyuhyun stayed by my side all the time, keeping a protective arm around my waist.

 

“Hey, Kyesin, right?” Donghae-ssi came up to me, holding a pizza. “You know what? Kyuhyunnie’s been telling us a lot about you.”

 

“Does he really?” I looked at Kyuhyun. His face was red, probably embarrassed.

 

“Yeah. He really loves you,” he said. “Thank you for taking care of him when we couldn’t. So I’ll make sure to tell you whenever he’s being naughty.”

 

“That would be great. Thank you,” I laughed.

 

“Kyuhyun-ah, you never mentioned your girlfriend was a foreigner,” Heechul-ssi put an arm around Donghae’s shoulders.

 

“I’m part Korean too,” I said. “My father is half Korean.”

 

“Oh is that so?”

 

“Wanna see my room?” Kyuhyun asked.

 

“sure,” I nodded.

 

Kyuhyun took my hand in his and pulled me to a room in the floor. He shut the door behind me before embracing me tight. “I’m so glad you’re here!” He whispered. “It’s been quite lonely recently.”

 

I turned around and smiled at him. “I miss you a lot,” I whispered as I hugged him tight.

 

“The members seem to like you,” he chuckled. “Heechul hyung really does.”

 

“That’s great, right?”

 

“Mhm…” he nodded with a smile.

 

“You didn’t tell me that you have gorgeous members,” I said.

 

“Which ones?” he asked.

 

“Choi Siwon,” I replied.

 

His eyes narrowed at me. “So do you like those types of guys?”

 

I never knew then he could be so cute when he’s jealous. I chuckled at him and brushed his hair with my hand. “I like you,” I said.

 

“So who’s more handsome? Me or him?” he asked.

 

“To me, the guy I love is the most handsome person in the world,” I said.

 

Kyuhyun couldn’t help but smile shyly. His cheeks turned red. “I love you,” he whispered to me before kissing my lips.

 

 

 

It was all good at first. When he didn’t have a schedule or if he wasn’t practicing, he was spending time with me. I, on the other hand, went to their dormitory to get closer to the members whenever I had spare time. Getting to know me helped them accept Kyuhyun better, and I was relieved with that. The closest ones to  me were Donghae and Heechul. Siwon as well. He had plenty of schedules but he makes sure he gets to talk to me whenever he’s free. It was hard to find a time when Kyuhyun and I were both free, and that led to our first fight. Until now, I shudder as I remember that day. It wasn’t just the fight that I hate remembering, but also the events that transpired a few days after.

 

I was in my junior year in high school. As to my father’s will, I was supposed to take over our company at the age of eighteen. But I didn’t know anything about business yet, so I decided to train for a year before I reach the age of maturity. Therefore, after attending school during my junior year, I get home and train for the company. It wasn’t an easy job. It was very hard to understand at first but I did my best just so I wouldn’t need to fly to England where the headquarters are to train, and I could stay in Korea where Kyuhyun was. He was excited for me when I told him the news. He was very supportive and cheered me on.

 

But as the days go by, the work load piles on and increases. My day turned into a routine. I wake up for school, eat breakfast and then attend class. I go home right after, and face the computer to start work. And after I’m through, I study for tomorrow’s lessons. By the time I finished with the things I need to do, it would’ve been past midnight and Kyuhyun is asleep by then. It was too late to call. He didn’t like it.

 

It was an ordinary April night when I heard a knock on my door. I stood up from my desk and answered the door. Kyuhyun wide smiled at me.

 

“Hey!” he greeted. “Happy monthsary!”

 

“oh hi!” I said. I rummaged my brain for the date. . It was our monthsary. “Come in.”

 

Kyuhyun shut the door behind him. He looked at me. “You forgot, didn’t you?”

 

I bit my lip. “I’m sorry, Kyu. It slipped my mind. I’ve been so –“

 

“Busy,” Kyuhyun cut me off. “I know.”

 

“I’m really sorry,” I said, touching his arm lightly.

 

He sighed. “No, I understand.”

 

“We can still go out if you want to. I can change,” I said. “Give me a few minutes.”

 

“No,” he shook my hand and embraced me tight. “I just want to spend time with you today.”

 

“Kyu, we really can go out if you want to,” I insisted.

 

He cupped my face and kissed my lips. “I’m fine staying here. At least I can hug you as much as I want.”

 

I could feel my cheeks burn. “I miss you,” I said.

 

“I miss you too, Kye. What do you say we order pizza?”

 

“Sounds great,” I nodded.

 

Kyuhyun took his phone out and dialed a number. He spoke for a few minutes and then smiled at me. “He said we’re such loyal customers, the pizza will be here in five minutes.”

 

I laughed. “So, what do you want to do while waiting?”

 

“Hmm…” he narrowed his eyes at me, deep in thought. “Oh I know!” he said. His eyes popped wide open.

 

Kyuhyun suddenly put his arms around me tight and lifted me off the floor and on his shoulders. I screamed and chuckled. “Kyuhyun, put me down!”

 

He threw me to the sofa and then climbed over me. He pressed his lips on mine gently before whispering, “I miss you so much.”

 

He kissed me again, deeper this time. He my lips with his tongue to ask for entry in my mouth, and I willingly accepted. He carefully divided my legs and positioned his body between them. Then, I could feel his hip pressing against mine. He wanted me, bad. I knew. From the way he kisses me to the way he holds me, I knew what he wanted. But he’s being careful; he has never crossed the line. Perhaps he knew that I still wasn’t ready to give him his needs. So I knotted my fingers in his hair and deepened his kisses.

 

I love how his lips tasted. And I love how he gripped me tight, pulling my body closer to him. I love how he would moan against my lips or by my ear, making that sound one of the most beautiful sounds in the world. I love how he was careful at the same time. He hasn’t d me in inappropriate places, and knows how to adjust as to what I’m comfortable with and where I’m not.

 

I don’t know how long we have been kissing but we only stopped when the pizza arrived. Kyuhyun, of course, grumpily stood up and got the pizza. I found it adorable though. He opened the box and hungrily looked at the pizza. “Hmm… I should’ve ordered cider too…” he mumbled.

 

“Oh!” An idea crossed my mind. I stood up and took two wine glasses from my cupboard. I then went to the wine cabinet and picked out the most delicious one he would surely like. I placed them all on the table. “It’s time I teach you about wines.”

 

“I haven’t tasted wines before,” Kyuhyun said as he took the bottle in his hand to read the labels.

 

I returned to the table with a cork screw in my hand. Kyuhyun gave me the bottle and I opened it with a pop. “Smell that,” I said, giving him the cork. He took it and put it right up by his nose. He took a deep breath in.

 

“Wow!” he exclaimed. “It smells so good!”

 

“You can actually put that in your bag,” I said. “It’s gonna make it fragrant.”

 

“Really? Can I keep this then?” he asked.

 

I nodded. “Sure.” I carefully poured a bit of wine to each of our glasses. Kyuhyun immediately took one. “Wait! You need to let the tannins set a little.”

 

“The what?” he asked.

 

“The tannins,” I laughed. “If you drink that now, it’s gonna be very bitter.”

 

“Oh…” he replied, eyes wide.

 

I laughed. That was so adorable. “Why don’t we eat a little pizza first?”

 

“Oh okay,” he nodded. He took one piece and bit on it. “Now, can I drink?” he asked.

 

I laughed again. “A little while longer, okay, Kyu?”

 

“Okay, okay, fine,” he chuckled. “So, how was your day?” he asked as he took another bite.

 

“You know, same old same old. We’re doing a lot in school now. My adviser is pushing me to do more contests,” I said.

 

Kyuhyun brushed my hair with his free hand. “I know you’ll win them all,” he encouraged.

 

I chuckled at him. “Thanks. How about you?”

 

“Me? Well, I’m getting more guestings now at least. I’ll be in a radio broadcast in a few days! In Sukira,” he said.

 

“The one with Eunhyuk and Leeteuk?” I asked.

 

“Yup,” he nodded.

 

“Okay. I’ll make sure to listen,” I smiled.

 

“I’ll see if I could greet you…but then you know how our managers are. They’re really strict. They’re against us dating,” he said.

 

“Do they know about us?”

 

“Yeah… but since you’re close with all the other members as well, they’re having a hard time doing anything about it. And you know how Heechul hyung can be. He wouldn’t let them touch us,” he explained.

 

“Oh… that’s good to know. So… now, do you want to taste?”

 

“Yes!” he said excitedly.

 

“Okay, watch closely. With your two fingers, hold the base like this… Then swirl the glass a few times… Now, pinch the neck with your thumb and index finger, take a wiff…and then sip,” I demonstrated and Kyuhyun followed perfectly.

 

“Oh wow that is good!” he exclaimed before taking another sip. “Really good!” finishing the wine in his glass. I chuckled at him. “I see now why you like drinking this everyday.” He took the bottle and poured some more wine in his glass.

 

“Kyu, that’s not water, alright, love? There’s still alcohol in it. So, take it slow,” I laughed.

 

“Can you get drunk with this?” he asked.

 

“Not as fast as other alcohols, but yeah, you can,” I nodded as I took a sip in my glass.

 

“Oh… Okay…” he said. He grinned wide at me. He leaned over and kissed me. His lips tasted wine.

 

My phone suddenly rang. I gently pushed him and broke off the kiss. “Sorry,” I muttered. Kyuhyun pouted. I took my phone and put it against my ear. “Hello?” I said.

 

“Hello, Miss Park,” the person at the other line said. It was Mr. Venare, the vice-CEO of my father’s firm said. “I was just informed that there are breaches in a project. Can you take a look and see if we need to adjust limits? I couldn’t reach you over the messenger app.”

 

“Okay, please send me the files now. Thank you!” I replied.

 

Kyuhyun pulled his chair next to me, wrapped his arms and started kissing my neck.

 

“Alright, I will email you the files. Please take a look at book FXO, the breaches are in that book,” he said.

 

“Okay, noted. Thank you,” I said. “Is there anything else?”

 

“No, nothing else. Thanks.”

 

I hang up the phone. “Sorry Kyu, I need to look at some of the reports.” I stood up from the dining table and went to my desk.

 

“But why?” he whined.

 

“Because the company is going to lose money if I don’t,” I said. “I’m really sorry.”

 

He sighed. He pulled his chair to my desk and sat behind me. He put his head on top of my shoulder and pouted. “But it’s our monthsary…”

 

“I know, Kyu,” I said, brushing his hair and kissing his cheek. “I’ll try to make this as fast as I can.”

 

I opened my mailbox and downloaded the files sent to me. I opened each one, carefully checking each book.

 

“Do you even still love me?” Kyuhyun whispered.

 

My hands froze on the keyboard. I looked at him. His eyes were sad. “What are you even saying, Kyu? Of course I love you,” I said.

 

“Then why can’t you take a little time off for me?! I wait for your call every single day, Kye. But I don’t get any recently!” he said.

 

“Kyu, you know how busy I am. After school, I go straight home and work. By the time I’m done with everything, it’s way past midnight,” I explained.

 

Kyuhyun stood up angrily. “Then why don’t you call me then?!”

 

“Because you might be sleeping!”

 

“I don’t care! I want to hear your voice! That’s one of the things that give me strength each day,” he said. “Even if I’m sleeping, I would’ve woken up to answer your call!”

 

“Well then I will from now on!” I replied. We were starting to shout at each other. “I’m sorry for thinking about your health then!”

 

“My health?!” he scoffed. “For all I know, whenever I ask you if you’ve eaten and you replied that you did, you’re lying to me!”

 

“I never lied to you Cho Kyuhyun! And you know how much work I’m doing! You know I’m not doing this for me but for my father! Sure, I’ve skipped meals every now and then but I’ve never lied to you, Kyuhyun!”

 

“Fine then! You’re busy, I get it!” He said angrily. “Guess you have no time for me. I’m sorry I came and disrupted you from work. Well then, you can continue now since I’m leaving.”

 

He marched towards my door. I sighed. “Kyuhyun, please…”

 

“No… I understand, Kye… Go do what you need to. I’ll call you on Saturday.” He dug through his pocket and placed a little box by the counter near the door. “Happy Monthsary, by the way.”

 

Kyuhyun stormed out of my apartment. I sighed, knowing that if I go after him now, it will only make things worse. I took the box from the counter and opened it. Inside was a charm, a pretty sparkling ball with blue gems in it – my favorite color.

 

And then my messenger in the computer suddenly pinged. I checked it. There was a message from Senior Management to rush the inspection of the reports. I slumped back down on my chair and sighed. My head was beginning to ache. The fight with Kyuhyun even worsened the stress I was having. Besides the work I had to do, I was thinking about whether I should call Kyuhyun or not tonight. But I didn’t. I figured he was too angry to take it anyway.

 

I barely got any sleep so when I got to school, my head was spinning and my body felt so weak. But despite feeling sick, I managed to ace my tests still. I still had Kyuhyun in my head all the time, though. It was the first time I’ve seen him angry at me and I didn’t like it. I love him very much and I don’t want to see him upset. Ever.

 

So I knew I was wrong. I should’ve made time for him. I should’ve made time for myself to monitor my health. But I didn’t. I treated my body like a robot. I knew I had to eat, I had to stop for a while and rest, I had to call Kyuhyun…but I didn’t. I chose not to. I was too absorbed with my father’s wishes that I forgot what’s good for me. Kyuhyun has been worrying about me ever since I started training for work…and I ignored it, thinking that I will be fine. Obviously now, I know that I am wrong.

 

The day after we fought, I had to stay for another two hours at school for contest training. I was dizzy most of the time but still was able to answer all the questions given to me. It was quite difficult though, with my head spinning and my thoughts running to Kyuhyun every now and then.

 

As soon as we were done, I packed my things and called Mr. Fred to come pick me up. I don’t think I can walk back home in this condition, so it was better safe than sorry. I took my things from the classroom, a quick trip to the lockers to leave some of my books I do not plan to study tonight and headed out the gate. As always, Mr. Fred was already waiting outside with the door of the car open for me. I made my way there, slowly losing focus. I stumbled a little. Mr. Fred was already beside me before I could hit the ground. I chuckled. “I’m fine,” I lied.

 

“Miss Park, would you like me to bring you to the hospital? I think you’re running a fever,” he said.

 

“No, no need. Just bring me home please,” I said.

 

He reluctantly nodded and guided me in the car. He quickly hopped on and drove away. I closed my eyes. My body felt hot and weak. My head is spinning faster than a minute ago. He was right. I was sick. But I have to get home and work.

 

We arrived at my apartment in no time. Mr. Fred parked the car and followed me to the elevator. He normally doesn’t follow me up to my unit but I figured he was worried I might collapse – for real this time – and there would be no one to help. The elevator doors opened in my floor and I mustered up all my strength to walk a few more meters to my unit. I took my steps slowly and one at a time, so as not to lose grip on my consciousness.

 

A few meters away from my door, I could see a figure standing by it, waiting. It was a man, tall and scrawny with jet black hair. Even from afar and even in this bad condition, I could recognize who he is. I should, because he is the love of my life.

 

Tears welled up in my eyes as I saw him. My weak legs sprinted towards him. “Kyu!” I called, crushing myself to him.

 

“Kye? Kye! Oh my god! You’re burning!” he muttered. I couldn’t open my eyes anymore. Everything felt like it was slipping away.

 

“Sir, she’s running a fever,” I heard Fred say.

 

“Kye, let’s bring you to a hospital.”

 

“NO!” I gritted and shook my head as I wrapped my arms around Kyuhyun tighter.

 

“You’re not well,” he said.

 

“Please don’t bring me,” I sobbed. Even hearing the word ‘hospital’ makes me shudder.

 

Kyuhyun sighed. I heard him entering my passcode and opening the door. “Come on, let’s get you inside, okay?”

 

“Okay,” I agreed.

 

And then, as I took one step inside my house, everything out and Kyuhyun’s worried voice slowly faded away as I found myself lying on the cold glassy floor.

 

 

 

 

I opened my eyes as I slowly regained consciousness. I was in my room. Still, my body felt heavy but my head feels a little better now. I could feel something damp – perhaps a towel – on my forehead. I tried to sit up.

 

“Stay down,” Kyuhyun pushed me back to the bed. His eyebrows were furrowed as he wiped my arms with a cold wet towel. I watched him quietly as he rinsed the towel in a basin and wiped my other arm.

 

“Go on,” I whispered. “Get angry at me. Tell me you were right about everything.”

 

He looked at me with his jaw clenched.  He closed his eyes and breathed deeply. “And make your condition worse? No, I won’t.”

 

My eyes felt watery again and my lips were pouting by themselves. “I’m sorry, Kyu. I’m so sorry…” The tears finally fell down my face.

 

“Hey, shh… shh… don’t,” he shook his head as he wiped my tears.

 

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry,” I cried. I couldn’t stop.

 

“Shh.. Stop it. It’s okay. It’s okay. I’m sorry, I was being too selfish too. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I made you worse,” he whispered while wiping.

 

“I’m really sorry,” I said.

 

“I know,” Kyuhyun nodded. “And I already forgave you for it. I can’t stay mad at you for too long. I love you.”

 

“I love you too, Kyu,” I sobbed.

 

“Hey, stop crying,” he chuckled. “Smile.” He pushed the corners of my mouth up.

 

I laughed, finding warmth and comfort again from him. He cupped my face and leaned in.

 

“No,” I whispered, covering my mouth. “Not now. I’m sick.”

 

Kyuhyun smiled at me and took my hand away. “I don’t care,” he said before pressing his lips on mine.

 

My heart fluttered. My weak hands tingled and so I reached over for his face. And that triggered him.

 

His hands crept to my waist, wrapping them around it. He climbed unto my bed and straddled me, without our lips parting. He opened his mouth and my lips to open mine. I shook my head.

 

“Oppa…”

 

“Trust me. I’ll be fine,” he whispered.

 

I reluctantly cave in. OH his tongue… His tongue is always amazing. The kiss always gets better when he adds some tongue into it. And I love it, very much. Only if I weren’t sick right now, I wouldn’t be holding back.

 

Kyuhyun looked into my eyes and brushed my hair back as our lips parted. “Promise me you’ll take a little rest once in a while, okay? Promise me.”

 

“I promise,” I nodded.

 

He smiled at me. “I love you.”

 

“I love you,” I said back before pecking his lips. “Can you…uhm… Can you stay…for the night… with me?”

 

He chuckled. “I was hoping you’d say that,” he said. “Scoot a little, love.”

 

He lay down beside me and tucked himself inside my blanket. He wrapped his arms around me and hugged me tight.

 

“Am I too warm for you?” I asked.

 

He shook his head. “Nah, I can handle it.” He kissed the top of my head.

 

“Have I told you how much I love your hugs?” I said.

 

“No, I believe you haven’t.”

 

“Well, now I know. Hey, by the way, where’s the charm I gave you?”

 

“It’s there in the first drawer beside the bed,” I replied.

 

He rolled around to get the box. “Why didn’t you wear it?” he asked.

 

“I wanted you to wear it on me.”

 

He smiled so happily at me. He opened the box and hung the charm in my bracelet. He held up my wrist. “It looks really pretty now that it has a lot of charms, isn’t it?” he said.

 

“Yes, it does. Thank you, Kyu.”

 

“Shall I sing you a lullaby?”

 

“Yes, please.”

 

“Alright. When you wake up, you’ll be feeling a whole lot better. I promise.”

 

“Wait, before you sing,” I said before kissing his lips quick.

 

“You know that that won’t help me concentrate at all,” he smirked.

 

“You ert! Just sing me to sleep, will you?” I chuckled.

 

“Alright, alright.” Kyuhyun breathed deeply and started singing. His voice is so soothing and relaxing that it drifted me well to sleep.

 

 

 

It was already bright outside when I woke up. I was still wrapped in Kyuhyun’s arms, who was fast asleep. I softly kissed his cheek and he hugged me tighter, my name in his sleep. The corners of his lips went up in a soft smile.

 

I was feeling a whole lot better, just as he said. Still, my body felt a bit warm, but it was a thousand times better than the day before. I know for a fact that resting helped a lot but I’d like to consider that his presence and knowing that he wasn’t mad at me anymore helped me get better as well.

 

I looked closely at Kyuhyun’s face. He looked very peaceful. I loved his naturally long and thick lashes. They were beautiful. I also love his sharp nose and his soft lips. Those lips always have the capacity to make me feel better and make my heart flutter. I love the mole right under his right eye, and thought how pretty it was and it actually compliments his face.

 

Kyuhyun stirred a little and his pretty eyes slowly opened. “Hey,” he smiled wide at me. “Good morning.” He softly kissed my lips.

 

“Good morning,” I greeted back.

 

His arms tightened around me and he narrowed his eyes. “Don’t you dare go to school today.”

 

I chuckled. “I won’t. I promise.”

 

“Good.”

 

“I do have one question,” I said.

 

“What is it?” he asked, brushing his hand through his messy hair. He looked extremely adorable.

 

“How did you get me into these clothes?” I asked.

 

Kyuhyun’s face turned red. “i… uh…”

 

“Did you…”

 

“I had no choice!” he said. “Your uniform isn’t comfortable enough for you to rest in.”

 

“How much did you see?”

 

“I promise I tried my best not to look,” Kyuhyun said.

 

“But you did,” I said, knowing him all too well.

 

“Well, I mean… how do you not? I had to change your clothes,” he answered. “I’m sorry.”

 

“I’m not angry… Surprisingly,” I chuckled as I lightly touch his face. “But I know… what you’ve been wanting…”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Kyu, I feel it in the way you touch me… in the way you kiss me and in the way you pull me close…” I whispered.

 

He looked at me and sighed. “I’m sorry…”

 

I shook my head. “It’s pretty normal for guys your age. You shouldn’t apologize. But… Kyu… I’m not… I can’t… I’m not ready… for that.”

 

He smiled softly at me. “I know,” he whispered before kissing my lips and brushing my hair. “Don’t worry. I’ll wait.”

 

“Thank you…” I said, pressing my head on his chest. “I love you, Kyu… And it’s not like I don’t want to do it…”

 

“Hey, hey. I get it,” he said. “And I told you, I’ll wait.”

 

I looked at him and smiled. “ I promise, I’ll tell you at once if I’m ready.”

 

He laughed. “Okay.”

 

“Do you have a schedule today?” I asked.

 

He looked at his watch and jumped up. “Oh crap!” he cursed. He stood up. “I’m sorry. I have to go.”

 

I nodded. “Okay. Take care, alright?”

 

“I will. Don’t forget to eat,” he instructed.

 

“May I work?” I asked.

 

“Hmm…” He thought for a while. “If you feel better, then fine. But only if you feel better.”

 

“Okay,” I nodded.

 

“Alright. I have to go. I love you,” he muttered before leaning in and giving me a deep kiss.

 

“I love you too.”

 

Kyuhyun ran out of the apartment, obviously late for his schedule.

 

I stood up carefully and headed for the bathroom. I suddenly heard my door open and in came Kyuhyun. “I forgot something,” he muttered before charging towards me and kissing my lips. “I love you.”

 

“I thought you had work,” I chuckled.

 

“I’m being romantic here,” he complained.

 

“Go, Kyu,” I scolded him with a light chuckle.

 

“Fine. Fine. Oh! One more thing. I’ll be doing a radio broadcast later with the hyungs,” he said.

 

“I’ll make sure to listen,” I smiled. “Besides, you know how much I love to hear you sing, so make sure you do.”

 

“Of course. Of course. I love you.”

 

“I know,” I nodded. “I love you too.”

 

“Alright, I should go,” he said.

 

“Yeah you should,” I laughed.

 

“I’m so happy I met you. I will never ever leave you,” he said before kissing me one last time.

 

“You better not,” I said and pecked his lips. “now go. You’re already late.”

 

“I’ll see you in a few, okay? Bye~”

 

“bye.”

 

I went to the bathroom and took a nice long bath, just to put my temperature down. It was actually nice. I ate breakfast, and lunch, as I promised Kyu. I did work and ran some reports, but I made sure I was feeling absolutely fine and didn’t stress myself. I turned the radio on when his broadcast started.

 

Kyuhyun’s voice is music to me. It always has been. Even when he’s not singing, it sounds really good. And even through the radio, his voice relaxes me. His tiny and shy chuckles are contagious. His soft and low voice when he speaks over the microphone warms up my heart.

 

He called me after the broadcast. “Hello,” he said happily over the line.

 

“Hey, you were great today,” I said.

 

“You listened?” he asked.

 

“I told you I would,” I said.

 

He chuckled. “Thanks.”

 

“Where are you off to now?” I asked.

 

“To another schedule,” he replied. “Did you work today?”

 

“Yeah, a little. Just ran some reports. But I’m feeling fine,” I said.

 

“Okay, that’s good. Get some rest, okay?”

 

“I’m planning to after this call, actually,” I told him.

 

“Oh really? That’s great. I won’t keep this long, then,” he said. “I love you, Kye. Sweet dreams.”

 

“I love you, too. Be safe, okay?”

 

“I will,” he chuckled. “Bye.”

 

“Bye.”

 

I hang up and put my phone on top of the bedside table. I tucked myself in and hugged a pillow, slowly drifting off to sleep. Little did I know that I shouldn’t have slept early.

 

I was woken up with my ringing phone at the middle of the night. It was around two in the morning. I turned my lamp on and answered.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Hello? Kye? Kye?” It was Siwon who was speaking.

 

“Oh, oppa… Hi,” I said, sitting up.

 

“Oh God, Kye…” he said. His voice was filled with panic. My heart jumped.

 

“What’s wrong?” I asked worriedly.

 

“Kye… It’s Kyu…” he said.

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Hey everyone!!!!!! Thanks for reading!

Please please please, do leave a COMMENT below as it helps me write future chapters, and UPVOTE if you liked it! :)

Sorry for being gone for such a long time. I had piles of work and school stuff to do and it's very tiring but I tried my best to write whenever I had free time. I hope I won't go to hiatus anymore!

again, thanks for reading! See you all next week :)

 

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EVERYBODY HERE'S A GOOD SONG

The song I'm recommending this week is M&D's Banana Shake. I really like the song and I think it's unique in the sense that there are only a few of this genre in Kpop and that they should make more of these songs to attract a larger and more diverse audience. So do give it a go and listen!