Kyesin

 

“Please,” Heechul begged over the phone.

 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, oppa,” I replied.

 

“Ei~ come on! It’s New Year!” he said.

 

“Oppa, I don’t think I’m welcome there. It’s a company thing.”

 

“YA! What are you talking about?! You’re our friend too and I will invite whoever I want! It’s our party,” he said.

 

“But oppa…”

 

“Do you want to spend your New Year alone? Who will you kiss at midnight?!”

 

“Who says it’s mandatory to kiss someone at midnight?! And who said I'm spending my night alone?”

 

“Ei~ Park Kyesin! You will go because I want you to!” He said. “Now will I have to drag you here tomorrow or you’ll willingly obey?”

 

You chuckled. Kim Heechul, forever the diva. “Arasso, oppa. I’ll go.”

 

“YES!” he cheered loudly. Then, his voice suddenly turned into a whisper. “Whoops. got to go, babe! See you tom!”

 

He hung up.

 

New Year’s Eve party. It was them that threw it. The whole Super Junior. They invited everyone from the company. Each one of their friends. Girl group members, boy group members, all their managers, staff… They would all be there.

 

What was I so afraid of? Him. Making Cho Kyuhyun unhappy. That’s why I didn’t like to come.

 

But I want to. Very much. Even if I just stand there in the corner and stare at him. It was all I could ask for. As long as he was happy.

 

And so I went to their party. I picked simple clothes. Just a blue and white polka dotted dress and beige pumps. I didn’t want to attract any attention.

 

They rented a function room for the party. I went there around half past ten, an hour and a half late. I did it on purpose. In my hand was a bottle of red wine, an expensive one from Chile. My mother was half Italian and spent half of her life in Italy before moving to London. So she grew up used to drinking wine during dinner, no matter where it was. And I did too.

 

I entered the venue with trepidation. Besides Super Junior, will there be anyone else who will recognize me? It’s been seven years since I left. For sure many staff members have changed. I know for a fact that the managers have. But still, there’s this odd feeling in my gut that I didn’t want to be recognized. Maybe it was because I wouldn’t want to be talked about and later on upset Kyuhyun.

 

“Hi,” a young man greeted. If I remember correctly, his name must be Onew.

 

“Uhm… hello,” I greeted back shyly. He was looking at me curiously. “I’m a friend of Heechul oppa’s.”

 

“Ah,” he nods his head slowly. “Heechul hyung, of course…”

 

“Yah! You’re late!” Heechul spotted me from afar and came. “And you met Onew!” He then patted the young man’s back. “Thanks for keeping her company. I’ll take it from here.”

 

“Yes, oppa,” I chuckled nervously. “Here’s a gift, oppa,” I handed him the wine.

 

“Wah~ nice!” He exclaimed, putting his arm around my shoulders and pulled me into the party. “Kyuhyunnie will like this!”

 

My eyes dart to Heechul hearing Kyuhyun’s name. His lips were up in a smirk.

 

“Oppa, I--”

 

“Kyesin!” A man came running towards me. “You’re here!” he said happily.

 

“It’s nice to see you too, Donghae oppa,” I smiled at him.

 

“Yah~ you two go mingle. I’ll put this on the table,” Heechul said and walked away.

 

“Hyung invited you?” Donghae asked. Eunhyuk also came and stood behind him.

 

“Ne,” I nodded. “He forced me, actually.”

 

“Ah. It’s been long since we ate out!” Eunhyuk said. “Let’s go sometime.”

 

“Sure oppa,” I smiled. They really were like family to me...back in the days.

 

“Does Kyuhyunnie know you’re here?” Donghae asked. “Heechul hyung told us he saw you a few days ago.”

 

I shook my head. “No… but yeah, we saw each other last week.” I grimaced, remembering his angry face that night.

 

“He’s not too happy about it, eh?” Eunhyuk whispered. “Sorry about that. Give him time.”

 

“It’s fine, oppa. I understand,” I said.

 

“HEY!” Someone suddenly tackled me from behind. And I absolutely knew who it is. “Why didn’t you tell me you’re coming?” Henry said in perfect English.

 

“I didn’t know I was til yesterday,” I chuckled, answering in English. “Heechul oppa forced me.”

 

“Yah yah! No English when I’m around!” Eunhyuk complained.

 

We laughed. I missed this… It’s just like those early days… Back before all the problems came in…

 

“Have you eaten?” Henry asked, now speaking Korean.

 

“No. I just arrived,” I said.

 

“AH! perfect! I’m still starving.” He said and pulled me to the buffet table.

 

Henry stuffed his mouth with food. He had always been like that. I still remember when I first saw him. He was so cute and chubby. We used to call him ‘mochi’ because of his puffy cheeks. He has lost weight over the years, though. He’s lean now.

 

But his appetite seems to not have changed. It was funny how he basically tried every single piece of food available in there, and how he would force you to eat as well.

 

I’m not really a picky eater or conscious about my figure, but at the rate that Henry is trying to let me eat, I’d be full for a week.

 

It was when I was about to get a punch that everything about this day turned topsy turvy. As I was reaching for the glass, someone else reached for it. Now I know what you guys are thinking. Very cliche that Kyu and I will reach for the same glass, right?

 

But it wasn’t Kyuhyun that reached for the glass.

 

It was his best friend, Shim Changmin.

 

Changmin’s eyes widened as he saw me. He was shocked. So very shocked.

 

I retract my arms and looked down, embarrassed. “Annyeong haseyo,” I said head down.

 

I want to turn away and leave this place. It was torture. Memories flashing back…

 

“You’re here…?” he whispered.

 

“I’m sorry, Heechul oppa asked me to come,” I whispered.

 

“Since when did you come back?” he asked.

 

“Three months ago,” I replied.

 

“Does Kyuhyun…”

 

“He knows I’m back...but not here,” I answered.  I bit my lip. This is too much. “I’m sorry, I need to go.”

 

I turned away, fighting the tears. Those memories… memories that I miss, they keep coming back. I headed for the washroom, head down.

 

And because of this carelessness, I bumped into someone.

 

“Yah! Watch where you’re going!” the girl screamed at me.

 

“I’m sorry,” I whispered and bowed. I tried to walk away.

 

“Don’t you know who I am?” she beamed.

 

I honestly didn’t. But it’s better not to talk. “I’m sorry,” I repeated.

 

“Yah! Go! Go away I don’t want to see you!” she said and stormed off.

 

I breathed deeply and turned around to go the washroom.

 

And he was there… standing in the hallway...he witnessed the whole thing.

 

I looked at him. A thousand memories are flashing back. I wanted to hold him. I wanted to feel his hand like before. I wanted to bring it back to seven years ago.

 

But I can’t. I left. I hurt him.

 

Kyuhyun clenched his jaw and walked away. He changed.

 

I ran to the ladies room, a tear escaping from my eye. Kyuhyun changed. Back then he was protective. Anyone who tries to bully me, he fights. May it be a girl or a boy.

 

But he did nothing now.

 

“Hey, don’t worry about Seung-ah. She’s like that to everyone when she’s drunk,” a girl came in the bathroom. It was Victoria Song.

 

I smiled at her and wiped my tear away. “I’m fine, thank you.” I chuckled.

 

“Are you a rookie?” she asked curiously.

 

“I’m just a friend of Heechul’s,” I explained.

 

“Oh,” she nodded. “I’m Victoria, by the way.”

 

“Kyesin,” I smiled back.

 

Just then, my phone beeped. It was a text from Dean, Emma’s brother. “Where are you?”

 

Dean was a close friend of mine back in Stanford. We attended school together and worked for a couple of months. He has admitted his feelings for me way back then, but I politely turned him down, because until now, there’s only one man that I love. He understood and we remained friends.

 

“Some party at The Shang,” I replied.

 

“Boyfriend?” Victoria smiled at me, eyeing the phone.

 

I shook my head. “No, it’s just a friend.”

 

She nodded. “okay. Anyway, I’ll be going back now. It was nice to meet you!”

 

“You too!”

 

I took one deep breath again and went out, ready to face everyone.

 

“Ten minutes til midnight!” Someone shouted.

 

My phone beeped again. “Doesn’t seem like you’re enjoying that much,” Dean texted.

 

“Is it that obvious?” I replied.

 

I sighed. I wasn’t enjoying. The memories are haunting me here.

 

I don’t like being alone. So I tried to scan for some people I could talk to. Hyuk and Hae were busy. Heechul and Henry were nowhere in sight. I tried to look for Victoria then.

 

“Ohh.. This is good. What wine is this?” I heard a familiar voice from behind.

 

Could it be?

 

Yes it was.

 

Kyuhyun was holding a glass of wine, Changmin by him and Heechul was smiling beside him. “You like it?” Heechul asked.

 

He nodded. “Is it from Chile?”

 

“It’s from Kyesin,” Heechul grinned wide.

 

Kyuhyun’s expression took a turn. He glared at Heechul, despite him being the younger one. Victoria suddenly popped out of nowhere and stood beside Kyuhyun.

 

“Kyesin? Girl with brown hair, fair skin and pretty brown eyes?” she asked. “Oh, you know her too, Kyu? We met at the ladies room. She seems nice. I was thinking of introducing her to you.”

 

“She is,” Heechul nodded.

 

“Stop it,” Kyuhyun hissed at him.

 

“Yah, who’s your hyung again?” Heechul scolded at him.

 

“Oh there she is!” Victoria said aloud. She waved at me.

 

I smiled and awkwardly waved back. “The wine you brought is delicious,” Heechul called. I just nodded politely and looked away.

 

“HEY! There you are!” Henry came running towards me. He was speaking English again. “I’ve been looking for you!”

 

“Me too,” I said.

 

“Guess who I saw,” he grinned.

 

I raised an eyebrow at him. Then, behind him came a tall American man, smiling wide.

 

“Dean Smith. You are unbelievable,” I chuckled. He laughed and hugged me tight. “What are you doing here?”

 

“I have work here now too, remember,” he said.

 

I rolled my eyes at him. “I mean here. at the party.”

 

“Saving you,” he grinned. “You sound so dead bored in your texts.”

 

I laughed. “And how did you find me?”

 

“Went to The Shang, saw Henry outside, then he led me to you.” Dean and Henry became friends as well when I was in America.

 

“Are you leaving?” Heechul came up behind me.

 

“uhm…”

 

“I’m sorry. There’s an emergency business meeting we need to attend to,” Dean said slowly in his distinct Californian accent. He was lying, of course.

 

“Uhm.. yeah,” I said and translated what Dean said to Heechul.

 

“Oh,” Heechul pouted. “You can’t stay til midnight?”

 

“Sorry, oppa, I really need to go,” I said. “Thank you for inviting me.”

 

He nodded. “Okay. Take care.” Heechul kept shifting his eyes to Dean and me. “I’ll call you.”

 

I bowed and excused myself out of the party. Dean held my hand and led me out.

 

We walked outside, just to catch some air. It was cold, very cold but I didn’t mind. All I could think about was Kyuhyun. and how he changed...a lot.

 

He isn’t the man I once knew anymore. Is this a sign?

 

Fireworks started flying to the night sky.

 

“It must be midnight,” Dean said, looking up at the pretty lights.

 

“Yeah. It must be. Happy New Year, Dean.”

 

He looked at me and smiled. “Happy New Year, too, Kye.” He slowly bent down and placed his lips on mine.

 

I think it's time I should move on.

 

Kyuhyun

 

I opened the door to the dorm. “YES!” I hear Heechul hyung shout as soon as I got in. He was on the phone. "Whoops. Got to go, babe! See you tom!" He whispered. Probably a girl he's trying to date.

 

“Is everything all set for tomorrow?” Leeteuk hyung spoke up. “Venue?

 

“Ne, hyung,” Siwon replied.

 

“Decorations?”

 

“All done!” Ryeowook said.

 

“Music?”

 

“Ready, hyung!” Henry said.

 

“Guests?”

 

“Yah, don’t you trust me?” Heechul hyung said. We all laughed.

 

“Food and Drinks?” Donghae and Eunhyuk gave a thumbs up.

 

“Good! We should be there at around 6-7 pm to set up and get ready,” Leeteuk hyung spoke with authority.

 

I sat at the sofa, nearest to the window. Teuk hyung can be strict sometimes, especially if he wants things to go really well. But he’s a really caring guy. In the earlier days, he’d put us first before himself. He even takes care of our friends or even the girls we date before himself. I remember this one time when Kyesin scolded him because he looked so tired yet he still didn’t want to rest since he said others still need him. They were kind of the same. Stubborn. Never gave up easily. And puts others needs before theirs.

 

“Can you do that Kyuhyun-ah?” Leeteuk hyung said.

 

“Huh?” I mumbled.

 

“Yah~ Kyuhyunnie’s thinking of someone!” Heechul hyung grinned wide at me.

 

“I said, Can you check if there’s enough champagne for everybody tomorrow?” Teuk hyung said calmly.

 

“Ne, hyung. I will,” I replied.

 

Leeteuk hyung went back to giving instructions. Heechul hyung stood up and squeezed himself between Siwon and I.

 

“Thinking about Kye, aren’t you?” he whispered.

 

“Please,” I rolled my eyes at him. “If ever I’m thinking about her, it’s about taking revenge.”

 

“Kyuhyun-ah, that’s bad,” Siwon said.

 

“Yah! Siwon-ah, let him be,” Heechul said. “If he wants to think of Kye, let him.”

 

“Should we invite her to the party?” Siwon said.

 

I glared at him. “Are you kidding?”

 

He chuckled, obviously did that to tease me. “I’m just asking. Hey, you were with me when I first saw her again. I didn’t go behind your back like this guy over here.”

 

“Yah, if you knew she was here beforehand, you’d want to go out with her too!” Heechul snorted. “As if you weren’t close before!”

 

“Aish aish! Can we just stop talking about it?” I complained.

 

“He doesn’t want to talk about it because it makes him miss her more,” Heechul whispered to Siwon, loud enough for me to hear. Siwon chuckled.

 

I rolled my eyes and ignored them both.

 

That girl left me broken. I will never forgive her for that.

 

The New Year’s Eve party is a blast. A lot of idols came, both from our company and from others. Heechul hyung does know a lot of people. It was loud and noisy and crazy and everyone was having a good time.

 

And I was too. I wasn’t really the type of person who dances on parties like a club goer would. So I hung out with my own set of friends, Kyuline, as they call us. TVXQ Changmin, SHINee Minho, CNBlue Jonghyun… we are really close.

 

I excused myself to go to the bathroom a few minutes before midnight. Too many drinks. On my way back, I heard a commotion.

 

“Yah! Watch where you’re going!” a girl screamed.

 

“I’m sorry,” the other girl whispered and bowed.

 

.

 

“Don’t you know who I am?” Lee Seung-ah beamed at her.

 

“I’m sorry,” she repeated.

 

. I want to do something. .

 

“Yah! Go! Go away I don’t want to see you!” Seung-ah said and stormed off. She must be drunk. She’s always like that when she’s drunk.

 

The girl turned back around, heading to the washroom hallway where I was.

 

.

 

Park Kyesin looked at me. Her eyes… Her hazel eyes...  were soft and watery and…

 

No. Park Kyesin left me. She means nothing to me now.

 

I walked away without looking at her.

 

Changmin suddenly pulled me to the side. “Kyu, she’s here!” he frantically whispered.

 

“What?!” I said, still in my head.

 

“Do you still remember that girl...the one we wrote lyrics about for your album? That girl from long long ago who 'hurted you the most'? ” he asked.

 

“Kyesin? Yeah, I saw her,” I said.

 

“You did?!” he said.

 

“She came back three months ago,” I said, leaning over a table. “I just learned like a week ago.”

 

“You know why?”

 

“Probably work,” I shrugged. “I don’t care.”

 

“Yah! Kyuhyun-ah!” Heechul came beaming at me.

 

“I know what you did hyung,” I groaned.

 

“What?” he grinned. “I invited my friends. She’s one of them.”

 

“Hyung, you invited Kyesin?” Changmin asked.

 

“Hey, I invite who I want. Teuk assigned me to,” he shrugged. “Anyway, Kyu. You have to taste this!”

 

Heechul hyung poured the red wine in his hand into a glass. He handed it to me.

 

“I’m still mad at you hyung,” I glared as I took the glass. I swirled it around a little, took a sniff and tasted a little. It was good. Really good. One of the best I have ever tasted. “Ohh.. This is good. What wine is this?”

 

“You like it?” Heechul asked me.

 

I nodded. “Is it from Chile?”

 

“It’s from Kyesin,” Heechul grinned wide.

 

Fury peaked through me. Why the hell is he doing this? I glared at hyung.

 

“Kyesin? Girl with brown hair, fair skin and pretty brown eyes?” Victoria was suddenly beside me. “Oh, you know her too, Kyu? We met at the ladies room. She seems nice. I was thinking of introducing her to you.”

 

“She is,” Heechul nodded.

 

“Stop it,” I hissed at him. I don’t want to remember the past.

 

“Yah, who’s your hyung again?” Heechul scolded me.

 

“Oh there she is!” Victoria said aloud and pointed. Park Kyesin was standing in the middle of the party. She awkwardly waved back.

 

“The wine you brought is delicious,” Heechul called.

 

She smile with those thin lips and turned the other way.

 

“Kyu, you know her? I didn’t know that,” Vic said. Vic is the only female idol I could tell my secrets to.

 

“I’ll tell you later,” Changmin whispered to her.

 

“Hey! There you are!” Henry came running towards her. I watched from the side. Then they were talking in English. The music was too loud that I couldn’t hear much and they were talking too fast I couldn’t comprehend.

 

And then, a tall Caucasian man came from behind Henry. He gave Kyesin a big smile. A smile I used to give her.

 

“Dean smith. You are unbelievable,” she chuckled.

 

They knew each other?

 

The man laughed and hugged her tight. “What are you doing here?”

 

I couldn’t move. Why couldn’t I move?

 

They were talking. In English. Someone please translate.

 

She laughed. Why was she laughing? It’s been years since I saw her like that. Seven years ago, I was the only one who could make her laugh like that...

 

“Are you leaving?” Heechul hyung was suddenly gone from my side and behind her.

 

The guy turned to Heechul. With a bright and confident smile, he told hyung something.

 

“Uhm.. yeah,” Kyesin said. “There’s an emergency business meeting we need to attend to. Really sorry.”

 

“Oh,” Heechul pouted. “You can’t stay til midnight?”

 

“Sorry, oppa, I really need to go,”  she said. “Thank you for inviting me.”

 

Hyung nodded. “Okay. Take care. I’ll call you.”

 

She bowed. The man leaned over and held her hand as they went out.

 

.

 

What is this I’m feeling.

 

Do I still care?

 

“Kyu,” Changmin whispered behind me. I looked at him. He gave out a big sigh. His brows were knit together. “, Kyu.”

 

“What?!”

 

“Kyuhyun… I know that look. Don’t tell me…” he trailed off, shaking his head.

 

“What Chwang?”

 

Then, Changmin said the question I was avoiding to hear for seven years.

 

“Kyuhyun. You still haven’t moved on, have you?”

---------

Hey guys! Thanks for reading!
As usual, please COMMENT your thoughts below and UPVOTE if you liked it!

Next week will probably be a 2-chapter update (one of Friday and the other on Saturday) so stay tuned ;)

Also, I'm going to be super extra busy for the rest of the month so I may not update on time but nonetheless I will try my best to post a new chapter. :)