KYUHYUN

 

“Hyung! Hyung! Hyung!!!”

 

“Huh?” I said.

 

“Hyung!” Henry, who sat behind me, was calling. We were on our way back to the dorms after a schedule.

 

“What?” I asked.

 

“Are you hungry?” he asked.

 

“I’m starving. Are you treating me, Henry-yah? You’ve been doing very well, these days, aren’t you?” I said.

 

“Yeah… a bit. I have a lot of invitations to variety shows,” he said. “but Hyung! Do you want to eat?”

 

“Sure!”

 

“Great! I’ll tell Kyesin. She’ll be glad,” he said.

 

“Kyesin is coming?” I asked.

 

“Yeah. She was the one who scheduled it,” he told me.

 

“Actually, I don’t think I should come with you,” I said.

 

“What?! But why? I thought you two were getting better. You took her to her vineyard here,” he said.

 

“How did you know that?!”

 

“Heechul hyung told me,” he chuckled. “I think Kyesin tells him everything if he pry hard enough.”

 

“Aish that hyung. Aish!”

 

“But hyung, did you guys fight?”

 

“Not us…”

 

“Eh??? With Dean?!”

 

I looked out the window. “It’s hard to explain, Henry.”

 

“Ei~ In case you haven’t watched my variety shows, they’re calling me a genius, hyung.”

 

“You’re a musical genius, Henry. Not Einstein kind of genius.”

 

“Come on, hyung! I don’t have time to hang out with you guys anymore!” he pouted at my face.

 

I sighed. “What do you really want to know?”

 

“Why don’t you want to see her?”

 

“I do not not want to see her,” I answered.

 

“So in other words, you do want to see her.”

 

“Of course.”

 

“Kyuhyunnie,” Junghoon hyung said. “Isn’t that the girl you had me researched on?”

 

Henry’s eyes grew wide as I glared at manager hyung. “Hyung?! You had prince manager hyung research on her?”

 

“Yeah, he asked me where she studied, her work, where she lived, when she came here… Henry, is Kyuhyun going after her?”

 

“Hyung, he’s not going after her. He’s chasing her!” Henry said.

 

“Shut up,” I said.

 

“Don’t listen to him hyung. Park Kyesin? She’s Kyuhyun’s first love,” Henry explained.

 

“Henry, stop it.”

 

”First love? Kyuhyun told me a friend recommended her to be the statistician for MOM House.”

 

“WHAAAT???” Henry’s eyes popped out as he stared at me. “You did what, hyung?”

 

“And he even told me there is absolutely no way that he will fall for her.”

 

“Look, things just don’t go the way exactly as you planned, alright?” I said.

 

“You can date anyone as long as you’re careful, Cho Kyuhyun,” Junghoon hyung said.

 

“I know that, hyung.”

 

“So, hyung. You fought with Dean?” Henry asked.

 

“Who’s Dean?” Junghoon hyung asked.

 

“Kyesin’s boyfriend,” Henry replied.

 

“She has a boyfriend? What have you gotten yourself into, Kyuhyun?”

 

“Hyung…”

 

“If this goes out in the media, your reputation… your career… everything will go to waste!”

 

“Ei, hyung. Don’t be too hard on him. He knows what he’s doing. Right, Kyuhyun hyung?” Henry winked at me.

 

Junghoon hyung sighed. “Aish. I don’t want to deal with this anymore. Just… better be careful, Kyuhyun.”

 

“Ne, hyung,” I replied.

 

“Okay, okay. Back to the topic. Why did you and Dean fight? Was it because of Kyesin?” Henry asked.

 

“Why else would we fight?” I replied.

 

“Oh! So did you guys get physical?” he asked, getting excited.

 

I rolled my eyes. “No, of course not. You know I don’t do that.”

 

“Yeah… and you would’ve been beaten up pretty badly. I mean, come on. Dean is fit as fuuuu--- Oops! No cursing! Right! Hyung! You should come and exercise with me. I promise you’ll be fit as me in no time,” he said.

 

“Would I need to skip meals?”

 

“Not skip meals! But you can’t eat late at night.”

 

“Then, pass,” I answered.

 

“Hyung! Don’t you want to get good body like Dean?”

 

I looked back at Henry. “Is he really that fit?”

 

He nodded his head. “He is.”

 

“Do you think I should get muscles too?”

 

Junghoon hyung laughed aloud. “As if. It doesn’t fit you at all!”

 

“Tch. I could do it as long as I put my mind to it.”

 

“Yeah, right. For all I know you’d work out for a week then drop out of the program because you’d be too hungry!” he laughed.

 

He has a point though. “Whatever. I won’t do it. I won’t give up food over exercise. Truth is, I exercise so I could eat well.”

 

“Stop changing the topic!” Henry complained.

 

“You’re the one who started talking about muscles and working out,” I said.

 

He rolled his eyes at me. “So, hyung. If you didn’t throw punches, then what did you do? How did you fight? Did you use your sharp tongue, eh?” he winked at me.

 

“Something like that…” I answered.

 

“But why did you fight?” he asked.

 

“I… I did something he didn’t like, and he…. He doesn’t have any idea how to take care of her.”

 

“Ah… hyung is being protective as ever,” Henry laughed. “Remember how you got mad at me because you were jealous that I was close with Kye? That was epic!”

 

“He got jealous of you?!” Junghoon hyung said, eyes popping wide.

 

“I thought you don’t want to get involved in this anymore, hyung,” I said.

 

“Well it got interesting,” he said.

 

“Yes, hyung. He was so mad then! Like literally so mad! He was so cold to me for days. He didn’t talk to me. It didn’t suit him though,” Henry said.

 

“What was he so jealous about?” Junghoon hyung asked.

 

“Aish. This is why I’m closer to mask manager,” I muttered.

 

“Well, it was when I just joined the group. Kye and I became very close since she speaks English as well but hyung here just went crazy jealous because we spend time together a lot,” Henry said.

 

“Just because of that?”

 

“Hyung, he was really possessive of her back then. Really possessive,” Henry said.

 

“That doesn’t seem like him? I mean, he doesn’t seem the type that would be crazy over a girl. Donghae would, but not Kyu,” Junghoon hyung said.

 

“Hyung! Believe me. BELIEVE!” Henry was now speaking in both English and Korean. “I think even now he’s still possessive of her.”

 

“Are you, Kyuhyun?” hyung asked.

 

I took out my headphones and put them on, stared outside the window and ignored them.

 

“Silence means yes,” I heard Henry tease.

 

“I’m warning you now, Kyuhyun. If you ever want to survive in this industry, you better behave, not get into trouble and don’t make any rumors,” hyung said.

 

But I know that. I know that already. I know how damaging it is to get involved in a rumor. Even if it isn’t at all or in any way true, once it’s out there in the public, the damage has been done.

 

Junghoon hyung wasn’t around when Kyesin was still mine so he didn’t knew how I was then. What he knows of Cho Kyuhyun is a rather childish boy and prefers to date non-celebs. He’s also careful when dating them. He’s not the type who’s head over heels in love with the person he’s dating. In fact, except for Kyesin, I never was.

 

Park Kyesin is just so… different. She’s so special. I don’t know why but when it comes to her, everything else doesn’t matter… like I’d rather have her back in my arms than be the best singer in Korea. I was able to be who I am now because of her. She may have been the greatest influence in my life.

 

She’s my first love…

 

And probably my true love.

 

 

 

 

KYESIN

 

“Thanks for having dinner with me, Henry,” I said as I opened the door to my apartment.

 

“No prob, Kye!” he answered, his eyes disappearing into slits as he smiled.

 

“I really needed that break. I’ve been thinking a lot… and too stressed with work,” I said.

 

“Is it with work, really?” Henry smirked at me. “Not because of certain someone…?”

 

“Oh no, ’Ry. Don’t you start too,” I sighed. “We can’t be that way again. You know that.”

 

“But why not? And don’t give me that ‘It might not work again’ crap.”

 

I sighed. “I thought you liked Dean, ‘Ry?”

 

“I do! But… I like you and Kyuhyun hyung too,” he said.

 

“Ry, don’t get into that wagon too…”

 

“It’s called a ‘ship’, Kye. And who else is in this Kyu-Kye ship?”

 

“Donghae and Hyukjae,” I told him.

 

“Then I’ll get aboard that ship. I promise you I’ll do everything to make it sail,” he smiled.

 

I sighed. “Good night, Ry. If only I knew that this is what wine does to you, I wouldn’t have let you drank some.”

 

“Not drunk, Kye,” he chuckled. “Good night!” Henry waved goodbye before I closed your door.

 

I headed straight to the bedroom to change clothes. Just when I was fixing my bed, getting ready to sleep, my phone rings.

 

“Hello?”

 

“Hi Hun,” Dean’s voice was on the other line.

 

“Hi Dean, why are you calling? Is there something wrong?” I asked.

 

“Nothing, hun. Sorry it’s a bit late. I’m just kinda… excited. Are you all packed?” he asked.

 

Dean planned this little getaway for our 3^rd monthsary. Some trip abroad. He hasn’t told me where we’re going though. “Yeah I did before going out with Henry.”

 

“Oh, how was your dinner with him by the way?”

 

“It was good,” I said.

 

“That’s great. Actually, I… uhm… I was thinking of going there,” he chuckled nervously.

 

“Here? Right now?” you laughed. “Hun, it’s past midnight.”

 

“Yeah… I know… I guess… I’m just a little excited for later. It’s been a while since we went out – I mean, just the two of us.”

 

“Yeah, I know. But it’s late.”

 

“Alright,” he sighed. “I’ll pick you up at six. Our plane leaves at eight.”

 

“Okay. See you.”

 

“I love you, Kye. Bye!”

 

I hang up the phone and put it on top of the table beside my bed. I climbed on when I heard the doorbell ring. Was Dean outside all along? You went out your bedroom to answer the door.

 

“I told you, Hun, it’s –“ I said but stopped mid-sentence when I realized it wasn’t him who was standing by my door.

 

“You’re back. You’re really back!” Cho Kyuhyun said before wrapping his arms around me. He reeked of alcohol.

 

“Kyuhyun, what are you doing here?!” I asked, gently pushing him away.

 

“I knew you’d be back. I knew it.”

 

“What are you doing here? And you know I’m back for months now.”

 

“I… I missed you… I guess… I just wanted to see you…” he said with a faint smile. “You… you’re still so beautiful.”

 

“Are you drunk?” I asked.

 

He smiled at me. “Ah… I should go home… hyung will be mad at me… I just wanted to see you again…” He said before turning around and heading for the elevators.

 

I caught his arm. “How are you getting home?”

 

“I’ll drive of course,” He chuckled.

 

“No way I’m letting you drive in this condition,” I said. I pulled him in into my apartment and closed the door.

 

Suddenly, a pair of pale white arms were wrapped around me from behind. Kyuhyun put his head on top of my shoulder.

 

“I missed you,” he whispered. “I miss you so much. Why did you leave me? You didn’t even say goodbye to me! I waited seven years for you to come back…”

 

“Kyuhyun, you’re drunk and you probably can’t think straight. Let’s get you home. I’ll drive you.”

 

“How will you get back here later?”

 

“I’ll take a cab,” I answered.

 

“No way.”

 

“What do you want me to do? Let you sleep on my bed?!”

 

“Bed… I miss you in bed. And me. You and me. In bed… I always loved it when you slept beside me. You in my arms… and waking up next to you… I miss them all…”

 

I breathed deeply. Is this what Moonyoung told me? How he is when he gets really drunk?

 

I pulled myself away from his hug. In this state, he’d be too stubborn to leave. You tugged on his arm to the guest bedroom. “You just need some sleep.”

 

“You know… When you were away… I always went to your old apartment on nights like this…” he chuckled. “But there was always someone else living there…”

 

“Kyuhyun…”

 

“I can still remember how shocked I was to see your apartment empty that day… You only left me a note and our ring,” he whispered.

 

“Kyu, please.”

 

“I thought you were just pranking me… Then Donghae hyung let slip about your flight and by the time I knew it… you were already gone… Are you back for good now?” he asked.

 

“Yeah, I guess so,” I replied.

 

He then pulled me and stopped me. “Then… please… take me back. I promise… I promise I’ll do everything. I promise I’ll be beside you always. I’ll keep you safe from the sasaengs. Just take me back. Please.”

 

The sasaengs? How did he know that? He… I… I never told anyone about them.

 

“How did you know about the sasaengs, Kyu?”

 

He then suddenly knelt in front of me and took my hands. His eyes were watery. “Please, Kyesin. I have suffered enough these past years waiting for you. I told everyone I hated you. I told myself that I hated you. But I lied. I miss you so much that when someone mentions your name, I would drink and cry myself to sleep. I never told anyone because it makes me look weak, but it’s the truth. I’ve always wanted you to come back to me, deep inside. And I waited for you. I never knew why you left me, but I waited for you. Just so you could give me an explanation… and we could be together again. So please, take me back. Whatever I did wrong, I’m sorry. I… I’m so sorry. I can’t live without you, Kye. It may seem like I’m fine… I’m happy… but I’m so broken… and it hurts so much… if I’m without you.”

 

His tears fell from his eyes as he said those words. I bit my lip, holding the tears back. No… I don’t like seeing him this way. “Stand up, Kyu.”

 

“No. Not until you take me back,” he said, shaking his head.

 

I knelt down as well and embraced him. Tears started falling from my eyes as well. Until now I can’t stand and bear the sight of Kyuhyun crying. Why is everything so complicated now?

 

I cupped his cheeks between my hands and looked him in his eyes. “I missed you too, Kyuhyun. But for now, let’s just sleep, alright?”

 

He sniffed and nodded. “Okay…”

 

He stood up and helped me up. With our fingers twined, I led him to the guest room. He lay straight down. I took his shoes and jacket off, as well as his pants. I tuck him in under the blanket.

 

“Do you feel uncomfortable anywhere?” I asked.

 

“Sleep with me,” he whispered.

 

I sighed. “You know I can’t.”

 

He pouted. “Then just kiss me good night.”

 

“I can’t do that either.”

 

“But… But I waited for you.”

 

I sat on the sofa beside the bed. “I’ll stay here til you fall asleep, is that okay?”

 

“Can’t you stay here on the bed?” he asked.

 

I shook my head. “Sorry, Kyu.”

 

He reached for my hand and twined my fingers with his. “I wish I could take it all away… everything I shouldn’t have done to you. I wish… I wish I could turn time back, when everything was still alright. When you still loved me…”

 

“I still do…” I whispered.

 

“But you’re not mine anymore,” he said. “I wish you still were.” Kyuhyun brushed my face with the back of his hand.

 

“Sometimes… it’s just not meant to be, Kyu… maybe… maybe that’s us,” I said, looking at his teary eyes.

 

“I don’t want it to be that way,” he sobbed. “Can’t we fix this, Kyesin? I’ll beg for your forgiveness forever if that’s what I have to do. I’ll do everything and anything you want and need me to. Please.” Tears started falling from his eyes.

 

I wiped them away with your free hand and brushed his hair to calm him down. “Shh… shh…” I crooned. “Stop crying. It doesn’t suit you.”

 

“Please, Kye. Please. Come back to me, please,” he begged.

 

I bit my lip hard to stop my tears from falling. “Shh, okay. We’ll talk about this later, alright? Just stop crying, or else I will too.”

 

“Don’t leave me, Kyesin,” he begged.

 

“Okay, okay. I’ll stay here. I promise,” I said, brushing his hair over and over.

 

He held my hand tighter. “Where will you stay?”

 

“Right here,” I said. “You can keep holding my hand if you want to.”

 

“Won’t it be uncomfortable? I’ll scoot over and you can stay on the bed instead…”

 

“I’d rather not, Kyuhyun. We both do not want to cross lines tonight. Dean’s not mad at me for what happened in the ski trip anymore, but he is definitely mad at you. I’ll stay here. I’ll be okay, I promise. I can just sleep here,” I assured him.

 

“But—“

 

“Shh…” I cut him. “Close your eyes. Would you like me to hum you to sleep?”

 

He nodded and smiled. “Kye…”

 

“Yes?”

 

“I love you,” he said clearly before closing his eyes.

 

I sighed, bringing my hand back to brush his hair as I hummed his lullaby – the one he always hums to me.

 

His lips turned up into a smile. “You remembered…” he whispered, keeping his eyes shut.

 

I continued humming til he fell asleep snoring. His hand was still tightly holding mine. So this is what Moonyoung meant before… how Kyuhyun is when he’s drunk. But it still bothers me how he knew about the sasaengs. I guess I could ask him once he gets his head straight.

 

I haven’t seen Kyuhyun sleeping for quite some time. He’s feeling and looking much more like the boy I fell in love with. For some reason, I found myself staring at him… staring at his lashes, his sharp nose, his lips and his pretty mole right beneath his eye. I laid my head on the sofa, just looking at him, peacefully snoring in his sleep.

 

 

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Hi!

Sorry this took long to update :( I'll try updating more?