The thinning cold air signified that winter was upon us. The bellowing of smokes from the fires lit from the furnaces channeled through the palace brought forth warmth and coziness to all the residences. Still the coldness lingered in everyone's body as snow fell lightly outside.

I was holed up in my room with the princess clinging to my side and thick pelts and blankets covering the both of us. Naturally I did not feel the cold but it made me sad that I could be of no help to the princess in keeping her warm through body heat. I could only offer my services as a comforting side pillow as she huddled curled up like a silk worm in their cocoon.

"It's so cold." Soojung chattered. "Andy why is your skin freezing too!"

I rolled my eyes. Not this question again.

Can't tell you how many times I have been asked this question.

"Because Soojung, I am naturally like this. Can't help it."

She grunted in response and shifted closer to me. I wrapped my arms tighter around her waist as a consolation for my lack of body heat.

I stared at the ceiling silently, many thoughts running through my head. It would be nearly 2 years that I have been under the service of the princess as her personal guard and half a year as her suitor - I suppose.

I wonder how much longer do I have with her and stay by her side as her lover. Would Soojung try to push for a more physical relationship? Would I be able to handle such a thing? What would she think if I out right told her everything?

Believe me, there have been times where I so badly wanted to just spill the truth out to her - spill everything. It would be the first time that I have ever felt that way and let the reins of my mysterious past and demeanor down and allowed myself to feel vulnerable and humanistic. I would feel so much lighter letting the one person I know and yes, love (it has gotten to that point), and see me for who I really am. But again, the nagging feeling of being rejected for that confession of revealing something so asinine had a heavy possibility to backfire on me. It could lead me to ruin right down to core. I could easily be killed and hunted for such a thing. Furthermore, if Soojung rejects me and loathes me because of what and who I really am, I do not think I could live with that notion and be fine.

Now do you see why I do not get attached to things or keep people at arm's length, never to cross the line. The outcomes of bad things happening weigh higher than good.

I threw all my principles of keeping an arm's length when I confessed and began courting Soojung. Now I don't know if I regret it or not. I keep bouncing back and forth between regret and saying screw it, don't care.

"Loosen up will you." Soojung spoke, bringing me out of my stupor.

I glanced down at her in my arms as she reached her hand up and caressed my cheek.

"You had the look of someone being constipated, mad and serious. Relax."

I let out a heavy breath and gave her a small smile. "Of course, anything for you, princess."

Soojung returned a small smile of her own, continuing to caress my face. It felt wonderful for me and I could not look away from her.

She leaned forward to lay a gentle kiss and I met her half way.

It was nice to get away from my constant clashing thoughts and just be with Soojung. I must say she sure is bold to sneak into my room frequently now. Usually it is I who would sneak to her room since I am much stealthier, but as of late, she is the one to slip into my room at night or even during early mornings.

On one of the mornings I woke from shutting my eyes, I felt something off in the air. I could not place my finger on it, but there is this sensation I am getting. I needed to be on high alert for whatever reason to be safe. Soojung was still fast asleep clinging to my night shirt with her head buried to it. Looking towards the window, I could see light streaming through the cracks of the wooden panels. Gently I tried to wake the princess.

"Time to get up Soojung." I whispered.

She groaned in response and tried to seek refuge deeper in the warm covers of animal pelts and blankets.

"Come now, it is morning. Princess needs food."

At the mention of food, she stirred a little bit.

Food always works. That is a fact.

I kept probing her with the incentive of food and it worked. Soon she was awake for the most part and scurried to go back to her room and change. She told me she would meet me at the dining hall for breakfast.

I proceeded to the dining hall where I met Yifan who was shoveling food in his mouth like a dying, starving man.

"You make the pigs look civilized." I chided besides him.

It made him jump slightly but otherwise he didn't care.

"Wat'ver." Yifan said with his mouth full. I wrinkled my nose a tad at his unappealing display.

"I have to hurry, that's why." He said after he swallowed the load of food in his mouth. "I have to be at my post in the Great Hall in a few minutes."

I quirked my eyebrow. Intrigued at that information. "What for?"

Yifan shook his head. "Don't know. It must be important though, I was