“Tiffany’s not coming?”

Soonkyu shakes her head, “Nope, she said she doesn’t feel good. She didn’t tell you?”

“No.”

Why didn’t she tell me? I take my cellphone to text her but stop before I unlock the phone. Wait, Soonkyu is her friend too and they’ve known each other longer than I knew her. So why am I getting antsy over this?

“Hey, Taeyeon-ah. You okay?”

I look up to see Jessica and Soonkyu staring at me. Did I just space out a little bit?  

“Huh? Yeah.” I put my cellphone back to my handbag, “So, Tiffany’s sick? Is she okay, though?” I ask Soonkyu while picking up the menu again.

We supposed to go out for lunch today. We were supposed to be me, Soonkyu, Jessica, and Tiffany (Yuri too once in a while).

Is Tiffany sick because she went home too late last night? We did extend coffee into dinner, but then she refused when I offer her a ride home. Maybe it’s too windy last night?

“She just said she doesn’t feel good.” Soonkyu answers my question.

“Oh.” I reply absent-mindedly.

Was she really okay? What about lunch? Will she order delivery? Or she’d be too weak to even get out from bed?

“You guys ready to order?” Jessica asks putting down her menu.

“Yep.” Soonkyu puts down her menu as well.

“Should we go to her apartment?”

“What?”

“Tiffany. Should we go to her apartment and bring her lunch?”

Both of them raise their eyebrows.

“Why are you so worried?” Jessica asks.

“I consider her a good friend of mine now.”

“Will you be this worried if I’m the one who’s not feeling good?” Soonkyu asks amusedly.

That’s right. Why am I worried like this? But isn’t it normal for friends to get worried when the other is sick? Especially when I know that she doesn’t live with her family in this city.

Oh, that’s why I’m worried.

“You’re whole family moved here with you, Soonkyu-ah. You have people taking care of you if you’re sick.”

“How about me?”

“You have Krystal. You’re not living literally by yourself.”

Now both of them look at me with the same amused expression.

“Yuri lives with her. You forgot about that?” Jessica says.

Oh, right. I do forget about that little fact. As I recall, she’s rarely home on the weekend due to her yoga classes though.

“But she’s always busy on the weekends, remember? Maybe she doesn’t even know that her roommate has fallen ill.”

Jessica furrows her eyebrows, “Fallen ill? Seriously? She just said she doesn’t feel good, Taeyeon-ah. Not a big deal.”

I’m about to retort when Soonkyu says, “Why don’t you call her then?”

That’s right. Why didn’t I just call her anyway? What’s wrong with me today?

I take my cellphone again and search for her number before dialing it.

I see both of my friends are stealing glances to each other with a knowing look and holding back their smiles. Why are they doing it?

“Why the two of you smiling like idiots?”

Jessica’s almost-smile instantly gone and Soonkyu raises her hand to call a waiter,  

“Let’s order. I’m hungry.”

After waiting for a couple of seconds, my call went to voicemail.

I try calling her again.

“What do you want to eat, Taeng?” Soonkyu asks me after she and Jessica placed their orders.

“Later. I haven’t decided yet.”

She says something to the waiter while I keep on listening to beeping sounds from my cellphone.

“She didn’t pick up her cellphone.” I finally put my cellphone on the table after the third try.

Jessica takes out her cellphone and says without looking up, “Maybe she’s sleeping.”

“I’ve never seen you like this before though.” Soonkyu states and looks at me with twinkling eyes.

“Like what?”

“Like overly worried about someone you just met a couple of months ago.”

There’s something about the way she said it that bothers me.

“What are you implying, Lee Soonkyu?” I squint my eyes at her.

“Nothing.” She grins mischievously and starts to take out her cellphone as well.

I don’t like the teasing look on her face and about to say something about it, but Jessica’s imperative voice shut me up, “You better order something, Kim Taeyeon. I don’t want you to get sick.”

So I pick up my cellphone again to send Tiffany a text before I call a waiter to place my order. 

I stifle a burp after a delicious dessert and Jessica looks at me in disgust.

“What? I could even pick my nose in front of you guys.” I laugh.

She shakes her head disapprovingly.

“Yah! Don’t pretend like you’re a perfect human being. You even farted in front of us.” Soonkyu says and we laugh together while Jessica counters, “It’s just that one time!”

“Let’s ask for the bill now, guys. We don’t want to be late for the movie.” I say and raise my hand to call the waiter.

“Ummm.. I think I need to cancel.” Soonkyu says apologetically.

I put my hand down, “Why? You’re the one who want to watch it.”

“I know, I’m sorry! But my dad suddenly wants to have family dinner tonight and I don’t think I can make it if we watch now.” She looks at the watch.

Jessica shrugs, “It’s okay with me. I prefer my bed to be honest.”

“What? Seriously?! You guys are ditching me on a Saturday night?”

“Sorry, Taeng.”

Jessica stretches and yawns, “Why don’t you visit Tiffany?”

Well that’s a thought. She did reply my text when we’re in the middle of lunch, but it’s just a short, ‘I’m fine, just a little bit tired.’

“You could bring her dinner. That girl tends to forget to eat when she’s sick.” Soonkyu remarks.

Not a bad idea. Maybe we can hang out at her place if she’s feeling better.

“Okay. Do you know where she lives?”

With a big smile, Soonkyu answers, “I sure do.”

Why is she smiling like that? Maybe she just feels guilty canceling the movie and relieve when I don’t have to spend Saturday night by myself.

*

I’m flipping channels for the hundredth times today and yet nothing seems can interest me. I’m bored and having Kim Taeyeon constantly on my mind doesn’t help at all.

We’re supposed to go out today, the usual gang, but I decided I’m giving myself time. Not being friends with Taeyeon is not an option. But this damn stupid crush will last for long. I won’t deny that anymore. So I’m taking a day off to think things through and prepare myself to live in a friendzoned life for God knows how long.

But all I want to do now is go to the restaurant where Taeyeon at.

Damn.

Darn this stupid heart!   

I took a shower, I cleaned this whole apartment (except Yuri’s room), I tried to watch DVD, but nothing works. I grab my cellphone and there’s another misscall from Taeyeon.

I’m not trying to be mean, but I’m trying to give a sick person feeling. Sick people don’t answer their cellphone.

Why is she calling me again though?

When the ringing stop, I put my cellphone on my lap and resume flipping the channels. But my cellphone buzzes once. It’s a text.

Taeyeon: Hey, are you still sleeping? I’m outside your apartment building J I brought food and vitamins for you. Tried calling Yuri but she said she’s not home since morning.

WHAT?! WHAAAAAAAAT?

She’s downstairs? Oh my God, what should I do?!

I read the text three more times.

Deep breath, Hwang Miyoung. Let’s think with clear mind. Today is Taeyeon-free day. So I CAN’T see her. I’m not supposed to even think about her!

So let’s just ignore her. She thinks I’m sleeping and maybe if I were not ‘awake’ in a couple of minutes, she would just go home. 

I look up from my cellphone and try to focus on this movie on TV.

Not even 30 seconds passed but my eyes already glance down at my cellphone.

This is not good. Maybe I should just try to sleep for real. I put my cellphone on the table and lay down on the couch. I close my eyes but the first thing comes to mind is Kim Taeyeon’s face. Her cute smile to be exact.

I open my eyes again. Well the ceiling doesn’t have her face. That’s good.

I stare and I stare and I stare. Somehow the ceiling comforts me. I like to think the nothingness in it represents simplicity of life. How I wish life could be that simple.

The ceiling is white. That also symbolized simplicity. White with no other speck of color. Clear, plain, easy. The color white is nice. Well, not as nice as pink. But still, white is okay.

My ceiling is not really white though. Is it ivory white? Porcelain white? Milky white?

Oh, Taeyeon has milky white skin.

Did I just make a relation from my ceiling to Kim Taeyeon?!

I sit up and groan as loudly as I can.

I thought a lot about my ceiling and the color white. It feels like at least 30 minutes has passed. Taeyeon must’ve gone home already, right?

I pick up my cellphone and………. IT’S NOT EVEN 5 MINUTES?!

I curse out loud. Trying to sleep is not working! I need something else to occupy my mind. TV didn’t work. Maybe music will? Surely it will.

I start to browse for music on my cellphone when it buzzes.

Taeyeon: Hey, there’s an ahjumma that let me inside. So I’m waiting at the lobby now.

Kim Taeyeon why can’t I get away from you even for a day?