Jaejoong tilted his head back as he pinched the bridge of his nose. She.. looked different.

He closed his eyes as he imagined her again, her eyes sparkling, hair flowing behind her before stopping in front of that TOP guy.

She called him oppa, what does that mean? Why did he see such concern and warmth in her eyes as she looked at TOP? Wasn’t that look reserved only for him?

It took all of him self-control to not hug her then and there. And it took more to not punch that TOP in his face when she started worrying over him.

Hmph, should have hit him more before that. A bitter smile surfaced on his lips.

He hands gripped the sink as he lowered his head, droplets of water dripping from his face.

 She had looked at him with such an intense defiant gaze, Jaejoong almost choked as he met her eyes. Her lovely eyes. Full of life again. When he left her..

NO!I will not go there anymore..

He forced himself to stop thinking about her.

Ever since that day, he had wallowed in self-guilt. Nobody knew where Dara is. Anything could have happened. Instead of being happy and safe in Kwon Jiyong’s arms, she is nowhere to be found, probably hurt and alone. And it’s his entire fault. Why didn’t he stay? Why didn’t he take her with him? WHY?

He felt as if he’s trapped. Trapped behind fences holding him back from being happy. From enjoying everything he could have enjoyed. He’s a gang leader. He has money. Lots of it. People bow at his feet. Women hurl themselves at him. What’s there not to like?

It’s Dara… Dara’s not here.

He groaned as he covered his face with his hands.

*Flashback*

“Wahh oppa! Look!” Dara’s joyful shouts rang in his ears as she pulled him along. Jaejoong smiled as he shook his head, such a baby girl, MY baby girl..

 “YAH! Oppa! Move faster! They’re getting away,” Dara pouted, pointing at the ducks waddling away.

He stood rooted to his spot a few steps behind, just to . “Oppppppaaaa,” she started whining. She started to pull away from her intertwined hands as she muttered, “I want to see them! So you can just sit with the gravel and admire the sunset while I have a date with the ducks!”

Jaejoong couldn’t take it anymore as a smile played on his lips. “Let’s go!” he rushed towards Dara and lifted her up bridal style.

“Yah! This is the park!” she whispered furiously into his ear as she tried to wriggle out of his grasp. People were starting to stare at the sight of a man running with a woman in his arms.  

“Stop squirming! Do you want me to drop you?” Jaejoong teased as he picked up pace. Dara immediately went stiff and rigid in his arms. He chuckled inwardly at the sight of her so scared of his half-hearted threat. He shook his head. She should know he wouldn’t do ANYTHING to hurt her.

“Oppa..” she begin in a small voice. “You won’t leave me, would you..?” her eyes were wide as she looked up at him.

Jaejoong laughed softly as he came to a stop and laid her down. “Never, princess.” He her face and tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “Never,” he repeated, as he leaned down and pecked her on the forehead.

Dara was smiling giddily at him. He is her everything. The first and only person she will ever love.

“Yah, are you going to stare at me for the rest of the evening,” he chuckled as he turned her around. “The ducks are waiting.”

“KYAAA!! SO CUTE!!” Dara rushed over to the brace of ducks. She giggled as the ducklings were blown over by the strong wind. Gently, she scooped them up and helped them waddle along to their mother.

“Oppa, come here!” she whispered. Jaejoong was watching the entire time with his arms crossed, smiling fondly at his little princess. He went over and squatted with her.

“What?” he whispered back.

“Give me you jacket.”

“Ahh sorry. I didn’t know you’re still cold with 2 layer of clothing under that woolly sweater,” he whispered back mockingly. Nevertheless, he took it off and draped it over her.

Dara smelled the fragrance she loves so much, his cologne she had bought for him. She smiled happily at him as she took it off and used it to cover the ducks, blocking the strong wind from knocking them over.

Jaejoong stared flabbergasted at his $6700 Armani jacket scrapping the dirty ground in an effort to ... COVER DUCKLINGS?!

“Y-You alien…” He stared at her, speechless.

“Oppa! Look, they’re so happy!” Dara exclaimed loudly, oblivious to his stare. Her loud voice had startled the waddling ducklings and she covered with her hands, unknowingly letting go of the jacket and letting it fall on the dirty pavement.

Her eyes went ‘O’ as she peeked cautiously at the man beside her.

Jaejoong’s jaw dropped at the sight of his jacket hitting the ground before a line of ducks TRAMPLED, YES, TRAMPLED over it. His mind went blank as he stared at the dirty jacket on the ground. Slowly, he shifted his gaze on to the little girl nearly trembling as she observed his response.

“You,” he growled as he inched nearer to her.

Dara gulped before closing her eyes, awaiting for a punishment to come.

OH GOD PLEASE DON’T LET ME DIE FROM HIS WRATH I WANT TO HAVE SO MANY LITTLE BABIES WITH LITTLE DUCKLINGS WITH JAE OH GOD I PROMISE YOU I’LL NEVER CALL YOU DINOSAUR POOP AGAIN!

She shut her eyes tightly, waiting for the pain - - -

Before feeling soft lips on her forehead.

Surprised, she opened her eyes and stumbled backwards. His face was right in front of her. ‘BA-BUMP!’ She could almost feel the impact of her heart.

Jaejoong smirked as he watched her reflex. He’d already expected that. No matter how many times, his innocent Dara would stay forever the same naïve princess.

He squatted with his back towards her, “Hop on.”

Dara giggled as she could hear the smile in his voice. Her heart was still beating like crazy as she hopped onto his back and nuzzled her face into his broad shoulders.

Jaejoong smiled as he carried her all the way home, his dirty Armani jacket tied around his waist.

 “My donkey, you will never leave me right? I.. Like you.”

“Donke-“

“STOP! STOP!! MAKE IT STOP!” He punched his fist into the wall, again and again as he remembered her broken form. “Donke-“

I left her, and that’s good enough an excuse to forget about her and move on. I left her, she was all alone. All alone.

He whipped his head up and looked into the mirror. Instead of seeing a face with handsome features respected and feared by everyone, he saw a weakling. A weakling he had always loathe.

“FCK!” He punched the mirror, causing shards of glass to be embedded in an already bruised and bloodied fist.

At least.. I can’t see the weak me anymore. He smirked, satisfied at the broken mirror before laughing loudly. His laugh grew louder and longer as he starts to make his way into his office. This is what he gets for being too caught up with a girl. The all-mighty Kim Jaejoong of DBSK. Now a WEAKLING!

He ignored the careful stares of his men as he kicked open the door to his office. Sighing, he slumped onto his seat as he stared at his bloodied fist. Blood was oozing out but his face was expressionless. If it was last time, she’d be here tending to it..

“Dar-“ He choked. NO!  I WILL NOT MENTION HER NAME EVER AGAIN!

Furious at himself, at being such a weakling that he loathe, he swept his hands across the desk, pushing everything off and watched as the blood-red bottle of ink spilled and started to seep into the Persian carpet. His heart and mind raced as he watched the black puddle grow.