The younger one sighed as she dragged herself to the dining table where she has prepared a simple breakfast for all. Her parents were already finishing their share. the instance she joined them, the two sprung up. She brushed away her disappointment with a smile but it became heavier as her mother broke the silence, "be more understanding, can you? your sister has been out until late yesterday, so let her rest."

 

"I will. sorry, okasan..." she apologised with her head lowered, then she remembered "okasan, so how was oneesan's job interview yesterday?" before her mother could answer, the subject entered like a thunder, slamming onto the table with anger.

 

"failed~ are you happy now?" she carried her bag with frustration and stomped out of house even when her parents persuaded her to finish her breakfast. the elders turned to the only other person still sat at the table and reprimanded at her insensitivity. She dared not remained at her seat, dashing out to chase after her sister with her almost untouched breakfast. After having worked through the wee hours of morning delivering newspapers, she knew she would struggle the next few hours in school with an empty stomach. She braced it with a smile as she finally caught up with her sister. 

 

"Oneesan... lets travel together ne. you are going to Shibuya, right?" she asked, though it seemed like she was talking to herself cause there was no response. she was used to it so the journey continued in silence. There in the train, the elder one noticed her sister's distracted eyes, focusing on a seat at a corner.

 

"ah, that guy is in the same school as you. he looks charming. do you know him?" she probed as her eyes become captivated as well at the one guy in the same uniform as her younger sister, asleep with his head leaned on his side. 

 

Hesitated at first, she answered "he's Yamada Ryosuke, final year student."

 

"you like him, don't you?" the elder one teased.

 

"no no no... I'm just wondering if he will miss his stop. she frantically denied, but the more she did, the more her sister mocked at her, "not a bother. guys like him won't even take a second look at you. nerd and a burden." the stop arrived at Shibuya just as she finished saying. she walked towards the exit without goodbye. the ridiculed one mumbled, "bye oneesan..." once she's alone in the train moving along the sides of flat houses, she thought to herself that what her sister said is true. she slapped herself and said, "wake up Mirai. He already has a girlfriend and he's not even gonna be interested in nerds like me." She looked out as the train past the meadows then arrive at her stop. she was about to step out when at the corner of her eyes, she saw him still sound asleep as though he had a tired night. She was shy to approach him at first but mustered her courage to step forward. when she was several steps away from him, she was startled by someone from outside the train shouting "oi Ryosuke! you're gonna miss your stop!" He sprung up from his seat, almost knocking head on with her who was standing awkwardly in front of him. She was so shy that she stood with her head lowered. Not having any patience to search for her attention, he apologised urgently without eye contact, slinged onto his bag over his shoulders and dashed out to join his friend. In that instance, she forgot if she was even breathing. she touched her arm which brushed against his skin briefly and smiled stupidly. when she got her senses back and tried to exit the train, she became the one who missed the stop. "noooo..." she pouted as she could only looked through that small window at the door as she saw him with his friend walking out of the train platform to the school. Taking a look at her watch, she knew she's gonna be late. 

 

Hungry and late, isn't the best combination, she sighed as she squeezed her flattened, growling tummy. Already she was prepared to be reprimanded, but she never expect it would be worst than humiliation. Being stopped at the corridor outside the senior classrooms, before she could reach the other corridor where the junior classes are, was worst than death, especially when she could see Ryosuke walking towards her at a corner of her eyes.

 

"are you listening to me, Shida Mirai. you have been late three times this month already. what's wrong with you these days?" her teacher, Satomi nagged, leaving her with no face as the seniors watched from inside the classes.

 

one student however surprised her and added to her humiliation, "sensei... she's late because she missed her stop. ne, Mirai-san? you were engrossed with Yamada-kun, ne~"

 

"yamette-yo~" she hid her face from the mocking crowd and grumbled in a embarrassed voice. She prayed sincerely that Ryosuke heard none of these, but it is nearly impossible with his proximity. She could only hoped she could just escape from the scene. 

 

"whatever the reason is, you'll have to stay back with me for detention after school this Friday."

 

"no no, I can't do it after school. sensei please. I have work" she begged.

 

Sighing and shaking her head, her teacher instructed, "in that case, I'm sorry, you'll have to miss the festival next week. you shouldn't have work then since it's a holiday"

 

As much as she wanted to go for the street fair in the kimono she has saved to buy so earnestly the past months, she could only obey the instructions. in that split second, she forgot the situation she's in. As she dragged her feet back to her classroom, a mellow voice called out to her repeatedly. she was in a daze to hear it until the person was right in front of her. 

 

"excuse me~ you're the one on the train I knocked into earlier?" she heard him say. she knew this voice too well, her most favourite voice, but was too nervous to raise her head to look at him in the eye. When she did, her heart stopped and she was lost for words until he repeated himself, "I say, are you the one I knocked into earlier on the train?" Sensing his annoyance, she timidly nodded her head. 

 

"I didnt properly apologised earlier. I'm sorry. I hope I didn't injure you back there"

 

She shook her head, trying hard to avert his gaze, but eventually still gave in. it would have been too rude not to. more importantly, it was his question. "my name is Yamada Ryosuke. you?"

 

"my name?"

 

He looked at her as her voice trembled, refusing to repeat himself.

 

"... I'm... Shida Mirai. year 3."

 

"Mirai-chan. I'm sorry you can't attend the festival, but don't worry ne, you won't miss anything. see you around" he gave a gentle smile, then left the spot in front of her empty, vacated. She was left in a state of shock, unable to return to her senses even when she was in class. sat a corner, she could not pay attention to class, all there was in her mind is a clip of a rare interaction with her three year crush that repeated again and over. Fortunately the teacher did not catch her in a daze, but her only friends did. Umika Kawashima and Chinen Yuri, from the next classroom trailed in to her class and the latter grabbed her shoulders in a brotherly way and pulled her beside him. "caught you day-dreaming ne. is that how you miss your train today?" he teased. Mirai pouted. 

 

"don't Chinen. I think she has a hell of a morning already... anyway, you look pale. are you unwell or something?" Umika was concerned when she saw Mirai rubbing her stomach with a face as pale as white paper.

 

"I'm just hungry..." she unreservedly exposed herself, but it's only to her best friends she feels more at ease to reveal her troubles.

 

"oh, then lets go for lunch!" Chinen led the way and the two girls clinged onto each other and made their way to the school canteen. Sometimes, one will have those sort of split seconds regret that certain decision wasn't made. When Umika tried to lead Mirai another way, she had those feelings that she shouldnt be here at this time. Umika frantically tried to cover Mirai's eyes but when she pry it open, she knew she's in for another regret. before her eyes was a girl throwing herself over Ryosuke, and his hand securing her face while his lips engulfed hers. Pressed against the wall, the couple were too engrossed to see that there were eyes on them. Chinen grabbed the two girls away and onto their original intent to the canteen.the guy went to grab food, knowing Umika is almost needed with Mirai who's too stun to speak. however, he was not at all sympathetic, instead slightly frustrated. When he returned to his seat, he mentioned "Suzuki Mizuo, year 2. his new girlfriend they started out not too long ago."

 

"wasn't it supposed to be the mixed blood final year girl name Sol?" Umika asked.

 

"well, he told me she's becoming irritating with her weak attitude. basically she needed him for everything and he got really frustrated," Chinen explained. It isn't a doubt that what Chinen said is true since the 2 guys are friends who got acquainted since junior school. Though they are in different classes now, they still hang out at least once every week.  Mirai listened further, expecting more information, and Chinen had only this extra bit that's possibly more hopeful "at the rate this Mizuo is going, she really gonna get her fingers burnt with Ryosuke. She is going around bragging about being with him. I know better that he hates this most. it's only a matter of time they end this relationship...." Chinen saw Mirai's subtle smile crept up her face so he decided to remind her a cruel fact that's certainly crash that glim hope. "Mirai, you won't like what I said but I think you shouldn't bear any hope for him. surely you know he has more girlfriends than your fingers can count and as his friend who knew him longer than most, I do not recommend you be with him either, cause he is really not the ideal lover type. he is charming externally but internally, he's difficult to read and is a heartbreaker. I'm saying this because you're my friend too."

 

"Thanks Chinen. don't worry about me. It's not even gonna be possible for anything to happen between us. I think it's called a inconclusive infatuation." despite her realistic understanding of her position, the pain in her heart perpetuated.

 

****

 

The week past in a breeze, especially when everyone in the neighborhood and schools are all working towards the coming week with the Festival of Lights marking the start of a long weekend. this day, no one could focus in class. all had their eyes glued to the clock and once the bell rung, each one sprung up in excitement. Club members all made their last minute preparations for their booths set up at the street outside school, already bustling with students and the residents. Girls crowd around where they discussed about their different kimonos for the night. Mirai walked past the canteen and couldn't help eavesdropping when she saw Mizuo with her friends, even though she knew the conversation among them will likely upset her.

 

"Miku, have you asked Takaki sempai out?" the girls asked in anticipation for the softer girl who was blushing badly.

 

"yes. he said yes!" then she exploded with the news that caused the clique to congratulate her.

 

"good! perhaps after tonight, the two of you will officially be a couple."

 

"i dont think he'll like me"

 

"and that's why you have to work hard tonight! anyways, so we are all with a partner today. good luck girls!"

 

"Mizuo, you're the luckiest. Ryosuke sempai is your boyfriend already so you don't need to try to impress him."

 

The girls giggled as they put the female lead at the top of the mountain, happy over the roof. she returned a face of pride. Mirai wondered if her friends were genuinely happy for her cause when she wasn't observant, Mirai saw her friends grinding their teeth in jealousy. that's the pretentious part of all human and even the most innocent of all has a certain extent of this. 

 

"seriously, why am I even bothered about this. I can't even go..." she dragged her feet down the hallway to the teacher's office. amid her own disappointment, She was however excited for Umika. Previous years, she will hang out on this day with Umika and Chinen, but this year with her withdrawal, Umika and Chinen are alone. Umika has always had a thing for Chinen, and there were times where both girls would stupidly imagine going on a double date - Mirai with Ryosuke and Umika with Chinen.  while the latter was possible, the former make-believe couple is almost just a make-believe. However, the only thing getting in the way for Umika is her own timidness. Umika always hide behind Mirai when the trio hung out together, depriving of herself with opportunity to deepen relationship with him. she sincerely wished for her best friend's success today. 

 

"sensei..." Mirai greeted. 

 

"finish this stack of math worksheets."

 

"but sensei, that's a lot..." Mirai felt a ton just fell on her hands as her sensei passed the enormous stack of worksheets. ironically, it's not her hands that were tired but the thought of looking at the numbers. despite her good grades, math was her weakest link. 

 

*bump. a forceful impact on her shoulders sent the worksheets flying all over, but it wasn't the most painful. the instance she fell onto the ground, something hard crashed onto her fingers.

 

"Itai!!!" when she managed to reconcile her mind, she saw a girl dressed in kimono and wooden shoes on the ground with her shoes pressed on Mirai's fingers. "Itai Itai..." only after a delay of a whole second that the girl removed her feet and stood up with much difficulties.

 

Mirai's eyes widened the moment she realise the girl was none other than Mizuo who appeared to be in a fit of anger, seemingly about not being able to find something.... or someone...She did not offer to help Mirai will the fallen sheets of papers, neither did she stop to help Mirai up. Mizuo walked away without even an apology. The pain was one thing, what she heard from Mizuo's rambling on her dialing phone was another, "where the hell are you... yamada Ryosuke~"

 

"where could he be? the festival is starting soon," she forgotten her pain at her fingers while she looked out of the window, peering into the starry night illuminated by latterns carried by prettily dressed girls and guys in traditional japanese outfits. the clanging on the wooden clockshoes were music to her ears, numbing her supposed discomfort. Crashed onto a seat at the corner of the library, Mirai refused to switch on the lights but illuminate only the table lamp. She felt she could pull herself together in the dark, albeit it can be slightly creepy cause throughout the first few minutes of settling down, she could already hear creaking sounds and footsteps-sounding noises. However with the passing of time, the fatigue became too overwhelming that there's no place for fear. the numbers on her worksheets are making her dizzy. her eye lids grew so heavy that even her plans to catch the fireworks didnt matter anymore. 

 

*****

Umika stood at the opening of the street, trying to stand clear of the crowd but there were too many people and clearly she was an obstruction. Her kimono and clockshoes aren't helping much as they soon become a burden to her movements. There, her patience gradually reduced as she watched Chinen approached by many year one girls before he could reach her. the girls clinged onto him and surrounded him for photos, and were chatting so happily, that she felt immensely jealous. despite being friends for long, she never see him smiling and laughing so happily when he's speaking to her. She erupted in anger when she overheard the couples at the side murmuring about her 

 

"... poorthing, she's alone on a night like this..." the guy said.

 

"don't you dare go and join her" she said to him, as they walked away. Umika clenched her fist in anger but too timid to rebut. On this night, she hope Mirai was with her. She became convinced that she should just turn the other way. Taking small steps, she ventilated "what was I thinking... he wouldn't go out with me alone." she recalled how previous years, he was equally distracted by the girls who swarmed to him, but it didnt matter then cause she always enjoyed the time with Mirai. Chinen was mostly not around. The street got quieter the further she walked, and the emptiness swallowed her bit by bit. it would have to be the ringing of her phone that startle her, and the voice that eventually breaks her.

 

"Hey Umika, where are you? I'm already at the opening of the street. I don't see you..." Chinen whined over the phone.

 

"you won't see me... I'm not coming..." she said coldly. his reply came with concern, "oh no.. what happened? are you unwell?" in the background, Umika could hear his friends, a mix of girls and guys. she knew she isn't being realistic because he has all the rights to spend his time with other friends. she being the minority, should join him and his friends. she isn't the kind who joins a crowd, not that's she's shy but she did not like the feeling of being left out. 

 

"I'm okay. just go on without me..." she hated herself for giving him an annoyed response, which clearly got him alittle furious.

 

"I don't know who offended you but so whatever deems fit. it's your decision anyway," he hung up the call before she did. She clenched her fist and fought a losing battle with her overwhelming tears. it wasn't the disappointment and possibly the regrets that make it hard to breathe, and it was her stupidity when she couldn't control her tears. She ran into her home, and was initially worried that her parents would see her in this state, but the worries turn out unnecessary as no one else is at home. she should have remembered her parents are both on a date at the festival, leaving the date-less girl back in her room, covered under her blanket and screamed into the cushion in frustration, "BAKA, Chinen!!!!!"

 

*****

It was merely 10 minutes before the beginning of the fireworks. never did the two friends realised none of them is able to catch the apparently most grand fireworks for the year. It wasn't even the fireworks that woken Mirai up from her deep sleep that left her salivating. she finally awaken from her sleeping beauty sleep, with her head leaned on the table, between the arms. In the small gap of her opening eyelids, she saw a figure in front of her, flipping her worksheets. "it can't be..." she thought to herself before jumping out of her seat.

 

"Y-Yamada sempai... how?..." her reaction was apparently too hilarious that Ryosuke couldn't stop laughing. She has moved back so much in her shock that she knocked upon the shelf of books and had the books rained on her head. "Itai..." she rubbed her forehead with her sore fingers, causing more distress than remember her embarrassment.

 

"shhh... you'll alert the whole world with the ruckus you make," he walked over, bent down beside her and collected the fallen books. He murmured to himself, which she could hear, "why is it so hard to find a spot without anyone..." sighing he put the books back to it's original spot. this minute, although short, gave her ample time to recover and eventually mustered her guts to ask that one burning question. "Mizuo is looking for you...she was calling you too" while she's averting his gaze, she still had the urge to take peeks but when she did, she realised he's looking at her.

 

"so~?" he said while preoccupied at browsing the books. Mirai was stunned by the hostile answer and she assumed he did not like how intrusive the question was from a person who he knew not. She apologised softly and quietly retreated further from him. Her inferior complex was acting up and it was no doubt she felt that he wasn't interested to converse with her. 

 

While she's walking away, his voice rang behind her ears, "you know, the view of the fireworks from the library is secretly the best. it's happening in about a minute'a time" 

 

Mirai was reminded about the fireworks. she looked at her watch and was surprised she did not miss the spectacular. She realised that perhaps this was the reason why he was near her when she woke up, to tell her about this? Rushed to the window, she pressed herself against the glass that separates her from the outside. The golden sparks shot up into the air as one thin, continuous beam and when it reached the highest spot, the sparks burst into multi colours, raining down onto the land of excited festive goers donned in traditional wear, many with their hands interlocked with another, or with their lips.

 

Mirai closed her eyes with her hands clenched together and brought near her chest. 

 

"what are you doing? you know it's not shooting stars or meteor showers right?" Ryosuke leaned onto the glass, and stood beside her, observing in amusement up till he decided to break that silence. Instead of answering him, she was too shocked the instance she saw him so close to her when her eyes fluttered open. he pulled her forward, before she knock into the glass in her state of frenzy, putting her further in a petrified condition with the skins coming into contact for a brief moment.

 

"seriously, am I that scary?" he asked in annoyance.

 

"Gomenasai. A shooting star is hard to come by. so I feel this could be a substitute too," she tried not to tremble her voice, but it's almost vibrating. it however didnt seem to frustrate him this time.

 

"I see. well, you need not feel ashamed about it, I'm just asking. it's your beliefs," he turned the other way, facing the crowded streets as he noticed how red her face is even with the low visibility in the dark. She did likewise, safely avoided his gaze.