I want to warn you that this story is... quite sad, I guess. So if you choose to read it, keep some tissues next to you, just in case. ^^

Oh and this was inspired by "Payphone" by Maroon 5.

When, at some point in the evening, Hoya got up and silently made his way out of the bar, his group of friends exchanged worried glances but let him go. They all knew he needed some time alone and, even though he tried his best to act normally, he was far from being fine.

The man came out of the crowded and noisy bar, letting his lungs take in the night’s fresh air. The end of fall, the beginning of winter. Probably his favorite time of the year. It was at that time of the year, when the trees lost their last leaves and the sky turned cold, freezing the rain and coating the city in white, that he first met Dongwoo. He came into his dance studio, his warm smile seemingly melting the snow of the whole street. It was also at that time of the year, two years later, on a day when the sky was strangely blue but the air still as freezing, that they moved in together. It was a small apartment, not much, but it was home. They spent the whole winter and the ones that followed, cuddled on the brown, worn-out sofa.

However, it was also at that time of the year that Dongwoo left him. Without a kiss, without a glance back, without even a goodbye. He left him so quickly that Hoya couldn’t process it at first, his face frozen into an expressionless façade that only lasted that much. It was still that season when he realized, only a few days later, and knocked on Sunggyu’s door in the middle of the night, in the middle of a panic attack. He hadn’t gone back to their cozy apartment for two whole months, staying at Sunggyu’s instead. He still hadn’t gone back, neither had Dongwoo.

His eyes looked around the street, finally spotting the payphone that he knew was there. He had done this way too many times to keep counting them. He stumbled towards it, his mind comfortably hazy and yet still too clear to ease the pain in his chest. When he found himself in front of the metallic grey object, his hand froze mid-air, holding a coin, and he bit his bottom lip. How many times had he done this? How many times had he stared at the phone for long, silent minutes before eventually going back to his friends and finding Sunggyu in front of the door of the bar, looking at him with worried, sad eyes. His friend’s pat on his back was always warm, but not enough to melt the thick layer of ice coating his heart.

But that night, it was that time of the year, a few snowflakes falling down quietly and disappearing as soon as they hit the ground, and Hoya was tired. Tired because of the lack of sleep, the lack of food and the excessive amount of alcohol. He was tired of the painful lump constricting his throat all day long, of the recurrent nightmares and of the lack of home. So, his hand shaking, he pushed the coin in, held the phone to his ear with one hand and dialed the number he knew by heart with the other. As he heard the empty, regular notes coming from the phone, he couldn’t help but shake more, because he knew. He knew nobody was going to pick up, because nobody was there. Then, after a few moments that felt like eternity, he heard the answering machine and couldn’t hold back a painful sob at the familiar voice he missed so much. He quickly muffled his sob with his free hand. He didn’t want to cry, he had managed not to until then.

“Hey there! You’ve reached Hoya and Dongwoo’s phone, but unfortunately, we’re not here right now. So leave a message for us, okay?”

Hoya didn’t want the message to be so short, didn’t want the voice he loved so much to stop so soon. So when the cold beep echoed through his brain, indicating the beginning of the voice message, his barriers crashed down and the flood of tears came in. He cried so violently that his whole body was shaking in rhythm with the desperate sobs. He banged his head against the metallic machine and let it there, the coldness almost burning his skin.

“Dongwoo…” He had to tear it out of his throat for the name to come out. His vocal chords hurt, as if he hadn’t spoken in a long time. Maybe it was just because he hadn’t spoken his name for so long. “Woo…” He closed his eyes and clenched his fist against the window of the payphone. He hated the tears soaking his face, because they didn’t let him speak.

“Woo, I miss you so freaking much.” He gripped his hair and his hand then went to grab the edge of the machine, feeling like he was going to fall down any minute, just like his whole life had been doing for two months.

“I hurts so much, Woo. I just… Why aren’t you here anymore? Just, why? I’ve loved you for so long, Woo. I still love you too much for words… And I know you know it, even if I’ve always been bad at expressing it. You know me like no one else ever has and ever will. You’ve always understood everything without me saying anything… And God, I feel so much like an idiot now. I should’ve told you that I love you all day long, hundreds of times a day, I should’ve told you that you’re the most beautiful person ever… Now it’s too late, isn’t it?”

Tears once again filled his mind and his vision and, looking at the time left, he quickly introduced another coin. “You know, I’m here alone and the world keeps going as if nothing happened, and it hurts. People keep believing in their ing fairytales, happy ever after and . But I know better, don’t I? Because if happy ever after did exist, you would be here with me, right now. You would’ve come with our friends at the bar and you would be laughing loudly, nagging me about me being too serious… But you’re not here!”

He punched the window and felt his knuckles crack. When had he become so weak? “You’re not here anymore, Woo… What did I do to deserve this? What did you do? You didn’t deserve this, not like this, not now…”

All the anger of his fist was gone, as his hand was sliding down the dirty window and the sobs seized him once again. “You weren’t supposed to leave now, Woo. You weren’t supposed to die and leave me here…” He tried to take a deep breath, but his lungs only accepted it shakily. His voice was only coming out as a whisper at that point. “I don’t know what to do without you, Woo. I don’t know what to be. I know if you were here, you’d tell me with the brightest smile that all I have to do is to be happy and all I have to be is myself. Your answers were always so simple and true… But you’re not here anymore…”

Another coin, and his head was back on the cold, metallic surface. However, the sobs had subsided a little. “But you know what? I’ll try. I’ll try to do as you would’ve said. I’ll try because I know you’d want me to be happy, even if even the idea of happiness without you seems vain and sad. But I’ll try.” He stayed silent for a few seconds before speaking again. “I love you, Woo. I’ll never ever forget you... I think it’s time to go home now. Sleep well, Woo.”

He didn’t know how long he stayed there, his head still on the cold surface, after hanging up the phone, trying to concentrate on his breathing. But when he opened his eyes, pulled back and turned around, he found Sunggyu looking at him, his back against the wall and his eyes red. And when his friend pulled him in a warm hug, Hoya could feel his heart warm up again for the first time since Dongwoo left.

“I’ll walk you home, okay?”

And as he saw his friend’s small, comforting smile and the few tears in his equally small eyes, he thought that maybe, just maybe, everything would be alright from then on.

~ Piou0102 ~

Sooo... yeah. My sister's going to kill me because I killed her bias. I never cried as much while writing a story as I did with this one. If your heart aches, I'm sorry. >x<' But it's my first time writing about a character's death, so I really hope you liked it.

Leave me some words and a prompt if you have one! ^w^