Maybe should I let you guys read it until the 8th chapter ? I feels like i don't know what to do right now... But as @eelynn_90 said i should continue as an author and not as a delusional fan i've forgot the fact that i'm an author too.. so well ...

My feeling are so mixed right now!!! Huuugh ><

The next day Myungsoo didn't see Jiyeon spotted at her lockers like she does every morning so he started to feel panicked and looked for Jiyeon everywhere in the school.

He was so in rush that he bumped into a girl making the poor girl falling on the ground.

-"I'm so sorry i haven't seen you..." Said Myungsoo while helping the girl to get up 

-"No it's me.. I'm a bit lost so i was looking around trying to find my class room without paying attention" the girl said while getting up from the floor

-"I'm a new student... My name is Sung Jina nice to meet you... Kim.. Myungsoo" She said while reading his name tag on his school uniform.

-"Nice to meet you too.. May i help you??" Proposed Myungsoo with a gentle smile. 

Jina is really a pretty girl, she has long curvy black hair, she is tall and thin, her face is small and very beautiful she could be mistaken with a model. Myungsoo couldn't lie and of course find Jina really pretty.

-"Sure.. Why not ? I'm looking for the class room 2919" 

-"Oh? Really ? It's my class.. Wouah ... So we are classmate, it's great to meet you.. Then.. Let's go together " Said Myungsoo and like this they walked together to their class room. For the whole morning Myungsoo helped Jina and stay with her forgetting a bit Jiyeon.

 

At the lunch time Jiyeon was waiting beside Myungsoo class room as she wanted to surprised him cause she forgot to wake up this morning that's why he didn't see her this morning at the locker section. 

She was waiting for Myungsoo since some minutes already, they used to eat together or at least have a talk for some moment before going to eat yet there was no sign of Myungsoo she thought it was weird but well she slowly walked few meters away until she heard some voices behind her.

-"Hey let's eat together like this we will be able to know more about each other and i could tell you every informations you want to know about each students from this school" This voice belongs to Myungsoo, Jiyeon reconized it but he wasn't talking to her so she quickly hide to a dark spot on the side to hear more from the conversation.

-"Cool! But are you sure? I don't want to be a burdden to you, you can go with your friend you know i will be able to deal by myself" It was a female voice. Jiyeon didn't know it but it was Jina the new student.

-"Come on, you are new here how can you deal it by yourself haha? Beside i have nothing to do, i'm bored so let's go!" Myungsoo said and sounded quiet happy. They passed by the dark spot where Jiyeon was hidden and Jiyeon only get to see how happy Myungsoo seemed but couldn't check who was the girl beside him as they passed quickly.

Suddenly her heart started to sink of pain. Her mood goes down. 

-"I knew it would end like this" She said to herself

-"It's hurt" She added before going out from her hidden spot.

Jiyeon walked in the school cafeteria with her tray of food. She spotted Myungsoo and the girl with who he talked earlier yet she did as she hasn't seen them and walked crossing by like nothing.

Myungsoo noticed her and he was a bit shocked and confused. He thought she was absent.. well.. he forgot to look for her after he met Jina but it's not like he purposly forget her and why did she just ignored him? Is she mad? He thought.

-"Excuse me, just two minutes please, i will be back" Myungsoo said and went over Jiyeon who was sitting and eating alone comfortably.

-"Jiyeon-ah are you mad?" He asked a bit nervous as he saw how was her facial expression

-"No why?" She answered like nothing happened, this look she send to Myungsoo made this last one even more confused, it looked so true but also false in the same time. Of course Jiyeon was acting.

-"This morning i haven't seen you at your locker so i thought you were not here today and well Jina is a new student, she is in my class and i just wanted to help her on her first day so-" Myungsoo tried to explain himself

-"Ok you don't need to tell me all of this. What are we anyway? It's sound like a boyfriend who just have been caught cheating on his girlfriend back and trying to explain himself. Don't misunderstand i'm not mad, you do what you want and so do i,  that's it" Jiyeon clearly talked back to Myungsoo. He was feeling bitter inside, cause her words were so right but he do loves her but she doesn't, he thought. So he smiled instead. 

-"Cool. So see you later" he said and left her.

Back to his seat Jina looked at him as he was wearing a sad expression. 

-"It's Park Jiyeon isn't it? Is she your girlfriend? I'm sorry if i made up a problem i didn't know.. I can let you go or maybe i can go and explain to her" Jina said feeling bad 

-"No it's ok.. She is not my girlfriend" Myungsoo replied 

-"Oh.. I thought she was.. You guys looked so good together and hell she is really beautiful" Jina said 

-"Hm" Myungsoo murmured 

-"Huh.. By the way how do you know her?" Myungsoo added 

-"She was at my company before yet she has been kicked out" Jina answered

-"You mean.. You are an actress??" Myungsoo was shocking

-"No i'm a trainer, i want to be a singer" She said while smiling and Myungoo just nodded

After finished their lunch they walked over their next class room but since his conversation with Jiyeon, Myungsoo was more quiet. 

-"Oh look she is coming" Jina softly said to Myungsoo who was walking facing the ground quietly. 

-"Who's that?" She added as she noticed a tall guy with Jiyeon

-"What's the hell is he doing with her?" Myungsoo mumbled to himself, inside he was upset to see another guy with Jiyeon as he was the only one who usually stay with her.

The two pair finally met, all of them stopped to walk and were facing each other.

-"What are you doing with him?" Myungsoo asked a bit coldly looking straightly to Jiyeon

-"Hey dude calm down" the guy said with a smirk

-"He is my classmate. Why? Can't i have a talk with my classmate?" Jiyeon coldly replied too. She then looked to the person beside him, she quickly reconized Jina she then did a light bow to her.

-"Jiyeon-ah long time no see. Guess you are doing better here" Jina said with a smile. Jiyeon could feel how fake this smile was.

-"Don't worry for me Unnie. Better wish a good luck for you. Beside this, how president Yoon is doing lately? Guess he's still clubing more than going to company." Jiyeon coldly added annoying Jina who let out a sarcastic laugh. 

-"Yah ! Watch how you are talking" Jina said 

-"So i'm right. Not surprising" Jiyeon replied

-"From someone who has been kicked out isn't it irrespectful to talk like this of your ex company?" Myungsoo took the side of Jina surprising everyone and mostly Jiyeon who turned her look to him and smirked

-"Why do you even talk?" Her cold stare scared Myungsoo and have frozen him in place

-"I .. I-I mean... Why are you talking like that.. So harshly.." He added

-"Who said i've been kicked out? Hm?" Jiyeon sent a scaring stare at them they couldn't say anything

-"Mind your own business" Jiyeon lastly said and made her road. She was feeling so annoying , why did Myungsoo has taken the side of Jina without even knowing her.

 

During class Myungsoo wasn't focus at listening teachers lessons, he was more lost into his thoughts. He was feeling guilty, but also hurt by how Jiyeon was earlier he never seen this part of her.

-"Kim Myungsoo could you repeat what i've just said please?" The teacher caught him daydreaming 

-"Huh?... I'm sorry i wasn't listening" Myungsoo said 

-"At least you are being honest." The teacher replied and continued his lesson.

School was finally over, Myungsoo quickly walked out of his class room to look for Jiyeon because he wanted to do the road back to home with her and also trying to get over what happened earlier. He was walking and finally Jiyeon appared, her eyes quickly meet those of Myungsoo and both were walking to each other. Jiyeon could feel these need to talk in the eyes of Myungsoo and of course her heart started to beat faster, she missed him. 

-"Myungsoo-ah where are you going??" Suddenly Jina who suddenly appared from behind him grapped his arm making this last one to stop his step.

-"Huh??" Myungsoo was a bit cut off by Jina sudden talk

-"Can you show me where is the secreteria of this school... I have to give some papers but i don't know where it is.." she asked gently while trying to get Myungsoo gaze who was curently looking at Jiyeon. Jiyeon was waitnessing everything, she couldn't take it anymore, anger was filling all over her by seeing Jina sticking at Myungsoo arm.

-"Hmmm? Please?" Jina was insisting, Myungsoo then looked at Jina 

-"I'm sorry but ... I need to-" Myungsoo then looked back to where Jiyeon was but she wasn't there anymore, she left. 

-"Ok .. Let's go.." Myungsoo said feeling regretful of not going back home with Jiyeon.

 

On the other side, Jiyeon was walking lonely, she was so angry and sad in the same time. Jiyeon does love Myungsoo, of course inside her heart she would like to be in relationship with him but when she thinks back about when she will be busy with her work as actress she knows that it would be difficult for them to see each other and she doesn't want to make Myungsoo surfering of a complicate love story cause it would be selfish from her and also they are still too young so why should they date? They still don't need it, enjoying their youth is better for them. That's what Jiyeon thought.

She was walking quietly for some minutes already, but then someone was screaming her name from behind, so she turned around.

-"Jiyeon-ah...fffffou" It was Myungsoo he's been able to catch up Jiyeon after sending Jina to the secreteria. He ran crazily, he was sweating a lot and was out of breath, Jiyeon was a bit surprised but doesn't wanted to show it.

-"Why are you here tssss" She sigh and continued her walk like nothing yet she smiled discretly while he was behind her trying to catch up his breath.

-"Yah! Wait me!" Myungsoo said and went beside her. 

They were walking silently, No one was talking and Jiyeon was sending a cold aura so Myungsoo was even more nervous.

-"If you want to say you are sorry for earlier, just don't" Jiyeon said before him 

-"Why are you like this?" Myungsoo then talk

-"The real question is why are you even asking this?" She quickly answered back

-"Because i'm your best buddie!" He exclamed

-"Since when are we?" Jiyeon said 

-"Ok Jiyeon stop it, i got it! You are mad at me about what happened earlier but i don't see what wrong did it do and beside this have you seen how you talked to me?!" Myungsoo suddenly became angry both stopped to walk, Jiyeon rolled her eyes and turned herself to face Myungsoo.

-"Of course there's nothing wrong with what you did, you are Kim Myungsoo anyway" Jiyeon said 

-"Stop this game Jiyeon-ah! It's not funny! I don't like you being like this to me!" Myungsoo replied 

-"Oh really? But that's how i'm truly are, if it's bother you, then leave, i told you to not be friend with me, didn't I? Since the start i've warned you." Jiyeon answered calmly with her poker face making Myungsoo even more upset.

-"Great! Then it's my fault?!" He exclamed

-"Take it as you want but it's not mine, and it's you who is getting mad here not me. If you have ran here just for this, better go back to where you was.. With Jina Unnie" Jiyeon said

-"I really don't get why you are like this since Jina is here, maybe are you jealous of her? That's why you are mad Huh?" Myungsoo sarcasticly said annoying Jiyeon cause it was true.

-"Why should i be jealous of her ?" Jiyeon said 

-"Because she is maybe more talented than you that's why you have been kicked out of this company and not her? Maybe because she is funnier and she is more open minded than you ? Maybe because she was more loving than you it this company ? Maybe because she-" Myungsoo was so harsh on his words he didn't even noticed how hurtful it was for Jiyeon that she was even shedding some tears, he was so upset that he was saying none senses things that he didn't even thinks but he couldn't controle himself. Jiyeon ended this by slapping his face hardly, waking up Myungsoo from what he was saying.

-"Shut up. You don't know anything but you still talking like you know everything. You are so dumb that you drink everything that a person you just met said to you! I didn't you were like that ! Huh i've been kicked out tshh sound like it wasn't really you who has been kicked by these three people who worked with my ex CEO!" Jiyeon yelled back and quickly tears were coming even more.

-"What you really want it's to people to see you like an hero Huh? You help everyone to have a good image? Congratulations you are good boy Kim Myungsoo! Wouaah I've been crazy to have agree to be friend with you, you are not that different from these people, you are like everyone. Piece of trash. Don't even get near to me anymore." Jiyeon lastly said looking straightly to his eyes, she was so hurt that she really doesn't wanted to see him anymore, she turned her back and started to walk again.. More she was walking and more tears were rolling on her cheeks. Her chest was burning she just was heart breaking she couldn't believe what the boy she loves just said to her. 

Myungsoo was regretting what he said to Jiyeon he wasn't sincere at all he wasn't thinking all these hurtful words, he was just angry. He wanted to run after Jiyeon again but a side of him was saying to let her as he has hurt her enough. He was feeling like a fool, now because of all of this, he has maybe lost Jiyeon

 

For the next couple days Jiyeon didn't attend school. Every morning Myungsoo was expecting to see this familiar figure he used to see every morning since 6 months in front of her usual lockers, but she wasn't there any longer.. A great pain was growing inside Myungsoo, he started to feel scared. Scared that Jiyeon finally left like she warned him. But he doesn't wanted to believe it, so he was hoping every morning but there was no sight of Jiyeon. 

Someone then covered his eyes from behind surprising Myungsoo. Jiyeon used to do this when they spent together their last holidays period so he kinda was hoping for this person to be Jiyeon.

-"Guess who is it?" It was a female voice... But not Jiyeon

-"Huh?" Myungsoo then knew it wasn't Jiyeon. Then Jina uncovered his eyes and went in front of him to face him. She was wearing a sweet smile.

-"Are you ok??... I don't feel like you are happy these past few days.. Is there something wrong? I'm here If you want" Jina said with a gently look

-"I'm ok let's go" Said Myungsoo before going to their class room.

 

Jiyeon got a call from the agency where she did an audition few days after have been hurt by Myungsoo, and finally she has been accepting into the company, although she was happy her mood was still down because of Myungsoo well.. she couldn't imagine how painful it would be to love someone when she first fell for him.

These past days Jiyeon spent them in her new company she was meeting a lot of board members and was doing some plans about her career. 

-"Jiyeon-ah started from now on, i don't think you will be able to attend school.. But the CEO still want you to take your final exam so you will at least be present for the final exam." Her new manager told her and she simply nodded

-"The CEO want to test your potiential, so with the previous photoshoot that you have been with the boysband Shinee, you will participate to a model contest next month. So get prepared for this ok?" He added with a smile

-"I got it" Jiyeon simply replied with a soft smile 

"Are you doing well?... Without me?" Thought Jiyeon while looking through the window.

 

At school it was the lunch time everyone was rushing to the canteen, Myungsoo then went to the lockers side to look if maybe Jiyeon was back, when he reach it he saw a tall man wearing only black clothes in front of Jiyeon lockers, He was taking away all of her stuffs.

-"Yah ajjushi what are you doing ?!" Exclaimed Myungsoo while going toward the guy who immediatly turned around.

-"I'm cleaning this lockers, it's an order from the CEO of MNET media" so Myungsoo understood right away that Jiyeon has been accepting and that she left him for good. 

-"Then.. I will leave" The tall man said before to bow at Myungsoo

-"Wait... Could you perhaps tell me .. Where is Jiyeon right now??" Myungsoo asked

-" I'm sorry i'm not allowed to reveal any professional informations." He answered and started to walk. Myungsoo sigh he was so down, he never thought this day could really come, he then lastly look at Jiyeon lockers for the last time.. But then a red rubbon intrigued him so he opened the lockers and found out a mini diary. He opened it "Jiyeonie Diary (2006-2007)" he quickly put it on his bag and left.

 

(At Myungsoo home)

"21th January: New school, new teachers and new people. It's going to be boring again, hope i will be busy with work so i won't attend much this school. It's to be here."

"25th January: CEO-nim was angry against me to haven't accepted the movie, but how can a young girl like me could accept a +19 rated movie knowing i'm just 15 years old? I'd rather die than humiling myself. Mom said i did good, same for dad. So i don't have any regret." 

-"29th January : There's a guy who approched me, i don't remember his name although he looked kind i thrown him away i don't know why it was automatic maybe because i used to be like this even before at my previous school. Anyway he might no going to approch me anymore so who cares. CEO-nim is still upset i think, as he doesn't send me any informations message since the last meeting." 

-"3rd February : His name is Kim Myungsoo, i thought he would not approched me anymore but he did, and now he is always sticking around me. He is not like these guys i don't know why but he feels different. He makes me smile although i'm living a hard moment with the company. Can he be my friend? I don't think it's a good idea but well.. Why not?. 

CEO-nim called me he want to meet me at the company tomorrow at 4PM i'm nervous of what he is going to say."

-"4th February : CEO-nim told me to accept the proposition for the +19 rated movie or to leave the company. I haven't hesited and i've chosen to quit this company. I'm not a i have some self respect. I'm so upset how can he made me this choice! I'm so out of me ! I hate this school it's and i will have to stay there now ! Amazing!" 

-"17th February : Kim Myungsoo this guy still following me everywhere in the school, i've got to know more about him, he is one year older than me, he lives with his parents near to the school and he has a little brother. He is funny and sure of himself. He is kinda handsome i have to admit it yet he has a lot of girls fans and it's sometimes kinda annoying cause they send some cold stares at me when he is around me." 

Myungsoo was reading Jiyeon diary while he was lying on his bed. He finally got why she was angry when he said to her that she was irrespectful to talk like this of her ex company after being kicked out, he felt stupid cause now he know the truth. 

He didn't read everything as it was already late so he decided to continued tomorrow and fell asleep.

 

Another day without Jiyeon, Myungsoo was this type of guy who always smiles a lot and who is very polite to everyone, when his fans girls approch him he would be kind and do some fanservice like listening to their story, confessions and show some interest but these days he only smiled a little at them.

 

On the other side Jiyeon was busy, she was training herself for the model contest and also studying for her final exam. But sometimes she would think about Myungsoo but when she thinks back about their last conversation she feels anger and thrown this thought away, she wanted to forget him to erase him from her mind she wanted to hate him but her heart didn't.

Of course there was Jina around Myungsoo at school she kinda stole Jiyeon place, she was always sticking to Myungsoo although this last one wasn't interesting but he didn't say anything and let her be. She would keep talking and asked him to hang out, she was of course receiving various hates and cold stare from Myungsoo fan girls. 

-"Myungsoo-ah... What do you think about me..?" Jina asked shyly, they were at the school library.

-"You are cool" Myungsoo replied without paying much attention

-"Well.. I mean.. As a girl.." Jina added

-"Hm well you are cute" Myungsoo said while reading his book, Jina beside him was smiling victoriously 

-"Oh... Then.. Is there a girl on which you've got some interest ?" She lastly asked while bitting her lips nervous of hearing his answer. Myungsoo posed for a moment he looked at her and then sigh he looked down thinking about Jiyeon.. He couldn't lie

-"I think" he lastly said before to stood up and left following by Jina who was all happy thinking he was speaking about her. How dumb she is.

 

"27th February : Yesturday i lived such horrible moment, i've never imagine Yoon CEO-nim would having some relation with mafia. I was so scared when the y caught me in this street hopefully Myungsoo has been here although few minutes earlier i've been harsh with him, Poor him he has been kicked everywhere when i saw him after the police arrived he was full of bruises, he got his left leg injuried and even his lower lips has been openned. I felt so sorry and still even now... I never thought he could did that for me... I'm so thankfull.. He's kinda a hero.. my hero...Thanks you Myungsoo :)" Myungsoo then smiled while reading this part

"3rd March : I've decided to be friend with this Kim Myungsoo after what happened i really want to try to be friend with him... So, i was surprised when he caught my hand and brought me at this game shop and these streets in hongdae it's the first time i enjoyed the time of being a teenager. It feels so different, it's the first time i ever feel like that, he is special."

"22th March: Myungsoo and I went to a sushi shop, i ate everything haha i can see his shocking face again. He is so funny and kind. Afterward we enjoyed some ice cream i think i ate too much i'm feeling too full. I still don't know if i should call him oppa since he is a year older than me... I'm not this kind of girl anyway and i think he doesn't pay much interest in these childish things either so let's call him Myungsoo."

"4th April : Holidays here we come~~ Myungsoo brought me to watch a movie, it was great he even accompanied me back to my home. Mom and dad couldn't stop teasing me after they seen Myungsoo through the living room window, they think that he is handsome and has an angelic smile.. Well that's true. Anyway, i enjoyed this day."

"10th April : We can't stop hanging out together, i don't feel tired of him at all it's weird but i'm enjoying these times with him, it's like something new the feeling isn't the same, it's like i'm really living my life. It's refreshing. But i'm afraid he might got tired of me so i don't show my hapiness too much."

"16th April : Back to school after such a cool holidays with Myungsoo i'm feeling sad, i don't like school it's so boring but i still going there.. Because of mom and dad and a bit because of him... Well.. I don't know what it is but i'm starting to feel something special whenever i see him.. Maybe it's just the stress? Anyway!" 

"22th April : He too feels something for sure.. Although he didn't asked directly i've been able to get what he really wanted to ask.. But we can't.. I'm so upset with myself.. Does he worth it? Maybe he is right.. I'm too serious for my age.. We are young we should have some youth romance but.. I can't. Cause this would mean i'm abandoning the thought of being an actress and i haven't done all these things to give up just because of youth love. I'm sorry... But mom and dad did a lot for me to be able to me to reach here... If only you could have appeared in my life later.. I like you M."

While reading  this Myungsoo was speechless he couldn't think Jiyeon was like this She was always with her poker face... Now he is seeing the other side of her. He was even more feeling awful. Suddenly the feeling of seeing her filled him. He missed her.

"30th May : Wow it's been a while i haven't write something, Well i'm good. Myungsoo and I still doing good like before, we are enjoying our moment. Today after school we played to basket ball near to han river he let me win i was so proud haha~~ so i paid our ice cream."

-"7th June : Today it's my birthday haha i'm 16 years old finally yo! ~~ Mom did a beautiful birthday cake and Hyojun oppa my brother offered me a beautiful necklace i was so happy, Mom and dad offered me some beautiful shoes, as it's brand shoes i think it has cost a lot .. I've felt sorry and wanted to send them back but mom and dad said it was ok. Myungsoo offered me a cupon he made himself on which i could use him for one day and ask him whatever i want hehehe~~ i immediatly use it, it was so funny. It was a one of kind gift yet i liked it."

Myungsoo was even more curious about these last moment they spent so he skipped some pages and went directly to the month of August.

"16th August : Today MNET Media called me for an audition i was so surprised i thought no companies would want me as it's been 6 months already that i didn't get anything. I immediatly accepted. The interview is tomorrow i'm so excited. Myungsoo was cheering me but i don't know if he is really that happy for me.. I mean.. I might leave but.. Well maybe his feelings for me haven't last long.. It's the life."

-"17th August : The audition went well i hope they will accept me! There were such beautiful girls too.. So im feeling a bit nervous but i'm still hoping.. Myungsoo was happy for me .. 

We skipped school after my audition.. We went to Han River and played around it was so amazing.. We played to rock paper scissors and he lost so i asked him to sing me a song i thought he wouldn't but he lastly did and i was surprised.. His voice is angelic it's sweet and amazing i could feel his sincerity he really should be a singer haha ~~ if only...~~ and after his sang his song he suddenly kissed my cheek i don't know why.. But it felt amazing.. Actually i liked it.. Hahaha~~ anyway it was another happy day !" At this moment Myungsoo couldn't controle his smile he was smiling like a happy kid.

"18th August : Finally it's happened. I didn't know he was like that. I'm so upset he sided Jina right after she just arrived in this stupid school. How fake she is.. I was happy to not see her in the company anymore like this she could stop nagging at me because Yoon CEO-nim was giving me more interest than her. 

So Myungsoo is like that, giving interest on these new girls student who just arrived, like an hero ? Oh ok. I don't feel like seeing him again i'm so pissed off i thought we were special to each other guess it was just me haha. I'm letting him go now. Anyway i'm going to stop here i don't even know why i started a diary. I don't know what to do anymore. I think i'm going to leave for good from this stupid school. Myungsoo couldn't be this guy anyway what i was thinking.. Bye everything. This is my last confession. ( At 4PM in math room.)" 

 

Myungsoo understood that everything Jiyeon has wrote was while she was in class or in holidays. He didn't know Jiyeon was sharing some feelings too. He was so shocking. Now he was determined, he has to meet her again no matter what cause he has to clear up everything. That was his thought before falling asleep thinking of Jiyeon.