It took her about six weeks before she could walk, and when she did, she was ready. She was still depending on a walking stick but she could do it, sitting down, eating, going to the toilet and all the things that she could not imagine doing after Hwanuk’s death. She thought that the world would turn grey and she would lose all her competence to survive. But she did - survive. The day when she had to walk back into Manarola came quickly, and though she was scarred with fear, she came back anyway. She did not want to lose everything, she did not want to lose herself too. 

Her breath stuttered and her fingers grew numb and cold when she arrived, her eyes were leering uncontrollably. She could not help but to feel threatened, endangered by the people walking passed her. And though she had expected them to throw bricks at her face, they remained oblivious. Some even made eye contact but to her disgust, they smiled at her. Almost genuinely. Hawol walked faster, holding her mother’s hand as she looked at Henry, confused and alarmed. The latter only shrugged back, signalling his mutual feelings. 

“Just walk. Look at me and walk okay hun?” said Etha, as she cupped Hawol’s cheeks and look straight into her eyes. They walked and walked until finally, they reached home. Everything was set to go. Hawol could see her mother’s earnest preparations, all of their belongings were already boxed up. Just a few other pieces of stuff that she thought Hawol might want to reconsider bringing along. Hawol strolled around the small, cosy house she once called home. 

There were still many things that her mother left behind. Pictures of Etha with a group of farmers that lived near them, another photo of her painting by the side of the road; all those pictures, Etha looked youthful. Happy. Hawol felt a beat in her heart that was painful, could it be that she had ruined her mother’s haven? She noticed Etha’s painting, covered up with white rags, left hanging on the wall waiting to be abandoned. Another strong, hurtful heartbeat struck her chest. Cou