Chapter 40. Snapshots

I wanna be your sky

So blue and high

And everytime you think of me

I wanna blow your mind

~take it from here (justin timberlake)

She brushed off some dust that seemed to settle by her calf and fixed the hem of her skirt. It was a windy and cloudy morning and it looked like it was going to rain a few hours from now. Seo Hyun sat by the porch of the cafe sipping her mildly hot tea as Minho stirred his own quietly. They had been there for almost thirty minutes already. She just said it. She just told him that she could never give her heart to him since it has already been taken by someone years ago.

He stared at her for a couple of seconds with that gloomy smile but he managed to sit up straight and nodded. “Whoever he is, he is such a lucky guy.” His gaze dropped back to the cup, with a sigh he went on, “So it's time for me to give up the fight that from the very start I don't have the chance to win.”

Her heart ached. Somehow she didn't want to see that sad expression from him. Seo Hyun would rather see him get angry at her and tell her those things that she was expecting to hear anyway. The saddest thing she has done was to break his heart. Her Unnie once told her that Jin Woon went away because she broke his heart too and she felt terrible knowing that someone might be feeling the very same thing, “Minhoo-ya—“

“No, Seo,” there was this warmth in his smile as he shook his head, “I just hope I am giving you away to someone who wouldn't make you cry.”

Seo Hyun smiled with that as the memory of Yong Hwa kneeling in front of him with tears streaming on his face flashed before her memory. She nodded, “Funny, but I was the one who made him cry.”

“Then he loves you so much.”

“I believe so, too...”

“Make sure you introduce us one day.”

“One of these days.” Her attention immersed to the silence of the world around them. It was still early in the morning that only a few people were in the cafe, most of them are inside and only an elderly couple shared the same space with them. “Minho-yah, you will find someone else better because I don't deserve the love you can give.”

“Then, that goes to you, too. You deserve someone's love.” Minho lifted his cup to his lips then set it back again with that clearer expression, “So, you're going on a vacation with him?” Seo Hyun nodded, “Wow, he's really special. I did not imagine Seo Ju Hyun to be absent from school just to go out and date.”

She laughed, “No, I will be absent just a few nights. Besides, I can't miss the test.”

Minho nodded. Maybe it was the sign he was waiting for to say yes to the blind date his father has told him before. It was not really his thing but who knows it was the best excuse not to feel too sad about Seo Hyun's rejection.

~~~

Her lids still felt so heavy that she really didn't want to flip them open but the heat piercing on her bare legs reminded her that the sun has been up for a couple of hours. When Yoona did open her eyes, two pools of curious little eyes beaconed at her that she almost jumped in surprise if not for the strong arm that was imprisoning her. “O-oppa,” she mumbled trying to wake him up or to just make him loosen his grip on her.

Ji Son did not even move nor transfer his gaze to something else as he rested both elbows on the center table in their living room and his chin rested on his hands. It was a peculiar sight after all, something which does not happen every day so he must make the most out of that moment. When he woke up, he found his father and Yoona-ssi crammed on the sofa with his Appa's hand securing her by the stomach, maybe to make sure she won't fall off. “Good morning,” he finally mumbled with eyes still pressed on them.

“G-good morning, Cake.”

Yoona-ssi smiled at him but he could tell that she was shy because her face was turning pinkish. Or was it because the sun rays had entered through the window? His Appa was still snoring softly that it was seriously embarrassing him but he did not say anything. He just wished he woke up soon.

“Oppa...” Yoona said again squirming gently off his arm until she finally fell out of the couch and landed, bottom first, on the floor. “Ouch...” She complained and turned when Ji Son giggled behind her. She turned and playfully glared at him, “It hurts and it's not funny...”

He put both hand on his mouth holding back his laughter. Then she finally smiled at him.

“What are we going to do with him?” She asked pointing at his snoring father but laughed softly when he just shrugged his shoulder. “Let's see. How about we just leave him alone so you and I could grab some breakfast?” Yoona smiled wider when her little boy nodded with much enthusiasm.

Moments later, it was her turn to watch Ji Son as he chewed his food silently. He doesn't look like his usual bubbly self so Yoona was worried. When she went there that night, he was already in deep sleep that Si Won wasn't even able to wake him up so they decided to just let him sleep. But he kept his promise of cooking for her that they ended up too bloated to do other things and just spent the rest of the night on the sofa. Her body was still complaining for that uncomfortable position but she just ignored the feeling. Besides, waking up in that house and seeing them both first thing in the morning energized those butterflies in her stomach.

She set aside those thoughts and focused on the little boy that was still not talking to her, “Ji Son-ah, is there something wrong? Your Appa was worried about you last night.” He looked up to her for a second and back to his food as if he did not hear anything so she cleared , “Hey Cake, you promised Yoona-ssi that you will tell her everything right?”

Ji Son nodded and put his spoon on the bowl and focused on her encouraging smile. Softly, he answered, “I saw a man kissing Yoona-ssi.”

Her eyes widened in disbelief.

“What? You saw what?”

Ji Son turned to see his Appa standing by the threshold. He bit his tongue for he was looking at him with those scary eyes and Yoona-ssi fell quiet too. “I saw a man kissing her.” He dropped his head back.

“Ji Son— I-” she tried to say something but she didn't really know what's the right thing to say. Besides, she didn't know what he was talking about.

“Ji Son-ah, you know it's bad to lie, right?” Si Won stood beside his son but his eyes remained on her who seemed to be as perplexed as he was.

“Uh-huh,” he nodded gently, “He kissed her hand and she was happy...”

Yoona heaved a sigh of relief and smiled despite the fact that Si Won was still giving her a cold stare. She focused on the boy instead of his father, “Ji Son-ah, me and Seo Hyun Imo have two other good friends. They are your Jin Woon and Nihckhun Samchon. And Nichkhun Samchon came to visit me yesterday.” Her gaze finally directed towards the older man, “And yes, we did talk and he happened to kiss my hand but it only meant that we love each other... as friends.” Yoona emphasized the last word and walked towards the pantry and took a cup, “Appa, do you want coffee?”

Ji Son felt nervous when his Appa left the kitchen without saying anything to Yoona-ssi. He turned to her with worried face and he could feel his face was twitching funnily like he wanted to cry. She walked to him and kissed his forehead.

“Finish your food, I will talk to Appa, okay?”

“I'm sorry?” His lips were quivering already but Yoona-ssi just ruffled his hair and left him on the kitchen.

~~~

“Ju Hyun? Is that you? Seo Ju Hyun?”

She turned and found a woman quite familiar to her but she could not really tell who she was. “De...” she bowed and tucked back some strands of hair, “Annyeong haseyo...”

“Nice to see you again!”

The older woman chirped in, she looked a few years older than her mother. She must be a neighbor, “Nice to see you too.”

“Aigoo, you must have forgotten about me, haven't you?” She asked holding on to the younger woman's arm.

“Ahh, de, I'm so sorry...” she bowed again with slight embarrassment.

“It's okay, you were so young when you left. I am your housekeeper, I come to your house every day, remember? Mrs. Yang.”

Seo Hyun tried to recall but her childhood past were like a vague memory so she just smiled at her. She was on her way to their apartment when she met her by the hallway.

“That house became so sad when you and your mother left.”

She started again as they walked along and she wondered why the woman appeared to be going to the same place as she was.

“But your father requested me to continue my service and I receive my salary from him every month.”

She stopped on her track for a while as she listened to the ajumma.

“Before, he would often come here and handed me the payment himself but just a few years back I've heard that he moved to America and lived there with his new family the—“

“It's okay, Mrs. Yang, I know about it,” she smiled and saved the woman from further embarrassment. The latter smiled and tapped her hand.

“As I was saying, he was always here before just trying his luck if you and your mom would come and visit. Because I was also shocked when I learned about the divorce and you suddenly went away. I wasn't even able to talk to your mother. By the way, how is she?”

“She's here, but living with halmeoni,” she politely replied.

“Ahhh really? Anyway, you are going to the house?”

“Yes...”

“Ohhh, okay then. Maybe I can come back later. You want to be alone, don't you?”

She wanted to say yes but, “I-It's actually okay if you are there so—“

“Oh no...” she shook her head, “When I happen to come the same time as your Appa, he would usually ask me to go back after a few hours. So it's okay, have the whole house to yourself first.”

“Thank you so much, Mrs. Yang,” she bowed at the woman. Somehow, she felt warmth towards her. She definitely was a part of her beautiful childhood.

“No problem,” she took Seo Hyun's hand and squeezed it gently, “Send my regards to your mother and if you happen to talk to your Appa, kindly thank him for me.”

“I will do that and thank you for taking good care of our house.” A cold wind seemed to sweep across her when she said 'our house'. For the past years, she only acknowledged it as 'the house in Daejeon.'

“You're welcome. Ja... I will be going now and come back later.”

“Yes, thank you...”

Seo Hyun stood as she watched the woman disappeared on a corner. Embracing herself, she started walking towards the door. She stopped for a moment before unlocking it; a soft screech followed as she turned the knob and pushed it open. She looked around the obscure familiarity, her feet dragging her slowly as if she was walking on air. It looked like an old movie, or a long forgotten photograph— the whole space.

The entryway oddly felt too small and short for her as she took off her shoes. She walked carefully with fingers running across the wall making herself drift back to the years when she was eight. When life was nothing but games, fun, friends, Umma and Appa. It was weird that even before she could reach the small living room she started to cry. Tears flowing for unknown reason as the silence of the house descended on her was crying along. She stopped and held on to the post that separated the kitchen from the tiny dining area.

Ju Hyun 7 ½

Ju Hyun 7

Ju Hyun 6 ¾

…

With shaking hands, she traced her Appa's hand writing. He said she was really a tall girl. After midnight on her birthday, or whenever he felt like doing it, he would bring her there and 'document' how she has grown over the years. She smiled taking a pen inside her bag and leaned by the post. After marking it by her head she looked back at it and smile, her dad was right, she has really grown.

The living room has that distinct smell to it. Something that if she tried to think hard would make her drift back to those endless nights of playing games on winter nights, TV shows on the mid-afternoons, books on countless of mornings her little family would gather there. Slowly, she slid the door that led to a small balcony where her mom would pack with fresh laundries to dry and chills crawled up again as her vision shifted to those empty pots silently resting on one side. Shaking her head, she decided to go back inside.

She made her way in her bedroom and opened the window. The sight of her bed made her smile again. It would come in her dreams some nights when they moved to Seoul and even now that she's older. The white sheets and the subtle pink headboard that resembled the fence by her elementary school— that was how it looked like. One day, if she would have her own family, she would take it with her.

Opening the closet she took her favorite dress— the one her Umma bought for her during her first piano recital. She folded it carefully and set it on the bed. The next thing she got was her Keroro plushy, she could not remember when and how it got to her but it was her favorite. The one she would cradle when lightning and thunder would scare her. She sat on the bed and opened the drawer of the side table that was decorated with fading keroro stickers. Their family album was still there, brushing off some dust, she opened it carefully as if discovering a long forgotten treasure. She smiled as she traced each picture, those happy smiles. She wanted them to be a family again.

The family she longed to put back together deep in her heart. She could not blame anybody for what happened to them. They say some things fall apart for better things to fall together. But she pitied her mother, those pains she felt and the years of separation from the only man she loved. And she pitied her father more, for being blamed and for carrying that guilt deep in his heart. Seo Hyun knew that it won't be hard talking to her Umma about her father.

With that thought, she placed the album, dress, a few framed picture, some stuffed toys and other trinkets inside her bag. It was bulky now. Seo Hyun tapped it carefully, she felt like packing for the camp. She used to do that but she would find her mom taking out the 'unnecessary' stuff she packed with her clothes. But now, she would be taking all those things to her new life.

Her past, present and future should be together; just the way they should be.

Seo Hyun laid herself to bed and stared at the ceiling. The serene feeling was really overwhelming. Taking he phone from her jeans' pocket she heaved a sigh before dialing his number. She smiled when it did not take him a second ring to pick up, “Yo~ng Oppa...”

“Hyu~n, are you in Daejeon now?”

“Yes, at our old apartment.”

“How was your trip?”

“It was fine.”

“Did you meet Imo?”

“Not yet, I will go there later. I just needed to get some stuff here.”

“Ahhh... Hyun, are you okay?”

“Yes, I j-just miss this place.”

“I know you do. Take care of yourself while I'm not there beside you...”

“Uh-huh, I must bring you here one time.”

“Yes, you should. I want to meet little Ju Hyun.”

“She would love to meet you too, Oppa.”

“You come home the soonest possible time, okay?”

“Okay...”

“I won't keep you now. I'll see you tomorrow?”

“Yes, see you tomorrow.”

“You've got a date tomorrow...”

“So do you...” she smiled while wiping the remaining tears on her face. For a moment, she listened to his breathing and closed her eyes. She was in the haven of her past as she listened to her future. It made her feel at home, “I can't wait to see you...”

“Me too. Be safe, okay? And call me when you get back.”

“Okay... I'll hang up now...”

“Yes, Hyu~n...”

~~~

Yong Hwa took his place across his sister after answering her call. They were having late lunch at her in-law's house but it was only his sister who stayed afterwards since her husband has to take care of business. The residence exuded opulence that Yong Hwa thought how his sister's dream of marrying a prince really did come true. He watched her with obvious delight as she ate with gusto reaching out to wipe some sauce that managed to settle on the side of her lips, “Ya, will you eat slowly? You have been eating for almost an hour now. I can't believe my sister has turn into a pig.”

“Ya! Who are you calling pig?” Fany shove his hand and did the wiping herself. Her brother chuckled, “What did Hyunie say?”

“She will talk to her mom about Abeoji.” He rested comfortably on his seat as forked the remaining food on his plate.

“That's good to hear,” she placed her chopstick on the table beside her empty cup of rice, “What did Uncle say about the business?”

“He said I can take over any time but that would mean settling in Busan.”

“Hmmm... I know that...” she studied her brother's face. He has been wearing that solemn expression since he arrived and talked to Hyun Joong about the transfer of his responsibilities. Fany only got to see that genuine smile when he was talking to Seo Hyun on the phone moments ago. “So what's your plan about her?”

“I will talk to her,” his gaze dropped on to the plate again. After some contemplation, Yong Hwa looked back at his sister, “I want to