The Last Time

Khun-Yoona Side Story

“Why don't you bring them along?”

“Can I?”

“Sure, we have lots of cakes and cookies for the kids.”

“They can be a bit mischievous...”

“They're kids, Oppa...”

“Yeah... I always wanted them to meet you.”

“I want to meet them too, and your wife...”

“Ahhhh, yes... her...”

“Oppa, I'm sorry but I have to go now. So many things for me to do.”

“Yes, but don't tire yourself too much.”

“Thank you...”

“I will see you later. We will try not to be late for the ceremony.”

“You don't need to worry about that. Just as long as you drop by.”

“Okay... Yoona-ya...”

“Yes?”

“I'm so sorry. It should have been you...”

~~~

The feathery white trinkets of snow dropped on her palm. Her lips stretched in a tight smile but her eyes could never pretend her sadness. She touched those with her fingers as if feeling a bunch of sand on her hand until they turned to liquid and with their coldness.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?!”

She looked up to see him sprinting towards her and grabbed her mittens resting on the ground. They are now somewhat covered with melting snow and soon, if she let them stay there, they would be frozen to death.

“Are you crazy? Do you want to get sick again?”

He continued to scold her while struggling to put one piece on her left hand. Khun was now bended in front of her as the snow trickled shyly down and the cold winter breeze was showing off.

“Damn it, Yoona!” He cursed out loud again shoving the fabric back on the linen white ground and taking off his own gloves.

Completely passive, she just watched his panic-stricken self rub her hands on his while blowing gently his hot breath on them. After a few blow, he took her mittens again and slipped them on slowly to her. The metal chain clanged as the swing oscillated with every movement as he continuously attempted to put her hands back into their normal temperature.

She shut her eyes tight for a second and breathed heavily.

“Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!” Khun repeated in a paling voice until he finally dropped his head on her lap. She knew that it was not about her childish display.

It was more than that.

An empty chuckle escaped that made him finally looked up to her with serious look of worry. Yoona knew he must be thinking that she has really gone crazy but she doesn't really care until those tiny giggles turned into a mocking laughter that only the empty playground could hear.

Suddenly, her eyes got all stingy. Indeed, laughing can cause one's eyes to tear for hers were now misty and her lips trembled not with the cold but with the pain she has been suppressing for the last five days. Until she finally gave in to the demands of her heart and she started to cry.

Louder and louder to the point that her voice got stuck in and the cold wind turned colder. She hid her face on her hands as if to deny her audience a better view of her show. Finally, she felt her body being pulled down on the snow until she crushed on him.

“The first time I fell in love was long ago. I didn't know how to give my love at all. The next time I settled for what felt so close, but without romance, you're never gonna fall. After everything I've learned; now it's finally my turn. This is the last time I'll fall... in love...”

He sang his lullaby but it was not really the perfect way to pacify her, instead it was just too mocking for her.

“At first, I thought we have the most boring love story. But looking back at them now, I can say that I will never ever have this kind of feeling for anybody else but to you...”

It was to quench her heart for some innate lie which she would believe for as long as she existed. His arms enfolded her with their warmth against everything else in her that was exposed to the coldness of that afternoon.

“I may learn to love somebody else and you may find love in someone else's eyes, but none of them can ever have what we had and what we have.”

She bit her lips as more tears escaped her with his voice, crisp and slow, lingered in every inch of her skin.

“You held my heart in your hand for the longest time. Bare and like that snow in your palm, but now we must...”

Yoona shook her head. She hated that 'but'... those 'buts'...

They were both not on that acceptance stage and she wondered to herself if ever she would reach that point. She has loved this person for like forever and ever. The past more than her present. And now, someone is stealing her future with him.

She thought she was strong not to undergo Seo Hyun's pain when Yong Hwa went away. She thought her friend was stupid for not fighting her love for him. She thought she would never ever have to let go of his hand and blindly hold them tight if they would end up like them.

It never occurred to her that his boring love story would end so painfully like that.

“Let's run away...”

Easier said than done.

He was the one who suggested it and she was the one who said no. Though, it should only be them in that relationship but her parents raised her not as a selfish person. Not to hang on when circumstance was telling her to let go. When everything was telling her that he is not hers.

Nobody belonged to anybody, including them.

Before, she doubted Seo Hyun's love for Yong Hwa, but now, she understood her more than anybody else in the world.
 

Love will never be the only consideration in this life. Love will never be the last option, no matter how much she they wanted it to be. There would be no more perfect time for her to say the words her heart denied to let her pour out. Slowly, she moved her body an inch away from him and placed a hand on his cheek while the other one took his hand. “Oppa, today I am giving you up just as you are giving me up. I am not the one who first let you go nor you are the one who let me go. It was us. It has always been us...”

“I love you...”

She smiled for those words have always been making her heart swell with joy as she nodded accepting his words-- accepting his heart, “So do I. I held your heart and you held mine. And I am not ever going to give it back nor take mine from you, because I would want to remain there, like you always will be in mine.”

“I pity her... I feel sorry for her since I can never give the whole of it...”

She reached out and wiped those tears flowing gently on his cheek, “Yes, me too. I am sorry so sorry for him. But they must understand how first love works, right? Especially, the kind that we have.”

“I will be honest with her and it isn't something that a woman would take so easily.”

“I know, but if she would really find it in her heart to love you. She will accept and she will love you back despite of.”

“And I hope he does for you too...”
 

“Whoever he is...” they laughed for that single moment of pleasure.

~~~

“Unnie...”

Yoona turned to find Seo Hyun standing behind her as she cradled her phone on her hand. She nodded and tucked the object on her bag. Walking towards the window, she lightly shoved the curtain to the side, “Is Jin Woon here?”

“Yes, Unnie. He's waiting for us downstairs.”

“Okay,” she turned a bit back and smiled at her. Although four years have passed, her sister friend still hold that hollow look in her eyes despite that smile she would wear. Love can really taint one’s heart. She might be cradling that same old wound but Yoona thinks that it will only heal once the person who caused it would walk back in her friend's life. But she should never say that to her.

Seo Hyun has this tough innocence in her that she should not plant any seed of hope in her heart. She wanted so much to tell her that their love story may not yet ended despite their separation for she believed that their relationship was like in this break. But giving her something less to expect would be giving her more of the surprise in the future.

She hoped her premonitions were true for her friend.

“Aren't we going down already?”

Seo Hyun rested her chin on her shoulder and gave her that old back-hug, “Yes, we don't want uri Woonie grumpy, would we?”

“Oh no, we don't want that!”

They laughed remembering one episode where Jin Woon got so frustrated with them for taking a long time to get ready for a party that he deliberately carried Seo Hyun Scarlett O'Hara style while Yoona ran behind them.

“Oh please, I have been trying to get that off my mind now.”

She chuckled with those patches of pink on her cheeks, “Oh well... we have to go then.”

“Yes, this is your big day. Congratulations! Can I have this hug?”

Yoona nodded as she almost leaped to her and they swung each other from side-to-side like some excited toddlers.

“Now you are the proud owner of The Ninth Street Cafe.”

“Yes, I am!” She grinned wider as her sister gave her peck on the cheeks.

“And your driver here has lost his patience...”

It was Jin Woon leaning on the side of the door with arms locked on his chest. And Seo Hyun finally offered her hand for Yoona to take. Just a few hours from now, she will see him again with his family. The thought brought a prickle of pain in her chest as she tighten her grip on her friend's hand and took Jin Woon's outstretched palm towards her.

They walked side-by-side like the way it used to be.

~~~