CHAPTER 22

even if you're far away, i hope that you'll be happy

i bury my love deeply within my heart

~ by myself (tiffany, snsd)

 “Hyung, try to talk her out of it again,” Min Hyuk declared after listening to his story. He watched his older brother pace back and forth in front of them before slumping down on the floor. He reached out for his drumsticks that were resting beside Jong Hyun on the sofa. He found his hyung sprawled on the floor at the studio hours ago and decided to call the other two.

Yong Hwa buried his face on his hands then mumbled but loud enough for his brothers to hear, “I tried, oh god, I tried.” Running his hands through his hair, he collapsed on the floor again that he ended up lying on his back, “But she is not a type who could easily be persuaded.”

Series of contradicting thoughts have been flooding in his mind for the past days. One moment, he would be too confident that she would let him think of a way for them to be together. But, before he could settle his thoughts peacefully, he would shift to another crazy thinking that he would just be wasting his time since her love for him was not strong enough, anyway. Then he would end up too disillusioned, just like now.

“I have an idea...” It was Jung Shin who suddenly killed the silence as everyone focused their attention to him. Even encouraging his eldest brother to get up and shifted in an Indian sit as he continued casually as if it was a very common solution, “Get her pregnant…”

“What the--!”

“Aish!”

“Ya!”

Each one muttered shaking their heads but Jung Hyun moved closer to him smacking his head loud enough, “Babo! What kind of idea is that?”

“I was just suggesting, okay?” He defended himself as he shielded his face against any incoming attempt to annihilate him on the spot. Min Hyuk grinned half-amused by their youngest’s sometimes simple-mindedness.

“God! I will do everything to have her back...” Yong Hwa pleaded helplessly shutting his eyes tight. Although that innocent suggestion brought a little humor to the dead serious bunch, he still could not help but voice out his misery.

Jung Hyun finally moved away from their maknae fearing for the latter's life and nodded, “Yeah... you should but don't even dare consider what this jerk said.”

Yong Hwa managed to let out a dry laughter, “I know... I cannot do that... this is driving me crazy!”

What Jung Shin said played on his mind for a while but of course, their hyung would never consider it. He has seen him with other girls before, but it was only Seo Hyun that he cherished that much. He could not blame him. She was a very special girl, even for them-- even for him but he could not tell him that. “We will help you...” Min Hyuk said once again but he still could not come up with anything.

He stood again and walked over the window and gazed out before asserting, “No, let me handle this... but it's scaring the hell out of me. She is determined; she hates her own father too much, who happens to be my stepfather. Why, of all the people?! And she doesn't want anything to do with him and that includes me.”

He was pacing again and the sight was kind of annoying that he decided to just focus his attention on his guitar. Jong Hyun doesn't really know what to say to comfort him and by looking at Min Hyuk, he could tell that the latter was also so into it, “We have to think of something to do...”

“I can't believe she chose her stupid pride over me.” Yong Hwa sighed once again then sat beside Jung Hyun and watched as he ran his forefinger on the strings. The sound it was creating was so random but there was something to it that was adding up to his tumultuous emotion. What if he just vented out his anger on something? Like slamming his own guitar on the wall, “I should have known that day, I never got a clue...”

“Hyung, you shouldn't give her up,” Min Hyuk insisted.

“I know! But she did! She just gave me up... how could she gave me up so easily?” The thought was irritating him and it seemed that the devil had been persistent on the thought that she has never loved him well enough to fight for him. Sometimes, it would cross his mind that Seo Hyun was too full of her own agony that she was forgetting they were two of them in that relationship. That relationship he was still hanging on to with the little hope that one day she would walk up to him and declare that she loves him so much and they would just forget what had been said or even those painful connection that got in between them.

Yong Hwa even refused to visit their father at the hospital no matter how his sister would bug him to do so. Maybe he feared that he, too, would disagree and tell him to just let Seo Hyun be. What would he do if it happens? It was crazy and selfish but he was praying that her mother and father should never agree to be together again knowing the truth. Knowing that maybe, his stepfather still has his love for Seo Hyun's mother. It would just complicate things even worse.

Jung Hyun tapped his guitar watching Jung Shin reclined his long figure on the couch dispirited and Min Hyuk wearily stared at their older brother. Needless to say that it has never been that depressingly dark in that studio, he pondered on what Yong Hwa did in his past life to deserve that kind of punishment. Seo Hyun used to be his reward and he felt sorry for him, “Hyung, if she really loves you then she--”

“Give her some time, hyung....” It was Jung Shin who suddenly said without even moving. His eyes focused on the ceiling above him and he was more like talking to himself than addressing his thoughts to his brother. “If you are hurting, she is hurting more. Her past wound was painful and it's not the kind that could heal overnight. If you really love her, then give her the distance. Let her heal on her own. Maybe your presence could make the wound even bigger...

His voice resonated across the room. Jung Shin has always been the weird kid. The one who would say random things and would do random acts. But right that moment, he was given the silence he deserves and his voice seemed to echo with a sound judgment. Jung Hyun fidgeted with his guitar, Min Hyuk tapped his sticks lifelessly on his lap, and Yong Hwa stared absentmindedly out of the window.

If you really love her, then give her the distance. Let her heal on her own.

He was right. Most would agree. They wouldn't know how she was feeling and they will never be in her shoes. She has the final say on everything and that was the sad truth. If it was her way to heal, then that was how Yong Hwa should let her heal. She needed distance, she needed time. And he got enough patience and more than enough love to wait for her. It would be a long process, he knows it, and coupled with it was the thought of letting her forgive her father. He must distance himself on that issue. They all need some explaining to do with each other and hopefully Seo Hyun would be a willing listener.

They remained quiet for a long while pondering over what has been said by the least member in the room. Or so, they thought. He just presented the most reasonable solution.

Suddenly, Jung Shin The Great stood, “I think my throat needs some alcohol... can we go drink somewhere?”

A burst of laughter followed his voice as they all stood and agreed that it was indeed the best thing to do for that moment-- get drunk.

~~~

“You're dad used to give me roses everyday...”

“Really?” Seo Hyun watched her mom while arranging a bunch of pink roses on a vase. They were lazying around the kitchen after the trip from the supermarket. She placed her elbow by the table and rested her chin on the back of her hand.

“Yeah,” Hyun Mi smiled satisfied with how it turned out then laid the vase in the middle of the table, “It's beautiful.”

“Yes, it is...” she nodded.

“I got replacements way before the old flowers wither.”

“You love these roses,” she smiled feelin