Baekhyun knew what he did before that left him and Chanyeol broke up four years ago was wrong. And there wasn’t a day after their broke up that he regret the decisions he made.

Chanyeol wasn’t the only one living a life as if he’s empty. Chanyeol wasn’t the only one suffering, Chanyeol wasn’t the only one that’s hurt. He was too.

And it hurts him even more to the thought that Chanyeol’s suffering because of him.

The smiles that Chanyeol used to have before was long gone and was replaced with blank and emotionless stature when he saw his ex-lover again.

For a long time, he have already loved the taller, maybe too much than his own liking. The day he saw the little boy in the playground trying to play and make sounds in his mini guitar, he finds himself admiring the beautiful view. He heard so much about that boy, he’s a son of a well-known business man in the neighbourhood and that kid is always being left alone by his parents. Maybe that’s why he always wanted to be isolated from other people. But Baekhyun found himself drawn to that glasses wearing kid, he found himself admiring the boy that smiles whenever he made a nice sound from his guitar.

But when three bigger guys went towards the said boy and bullied him, even made the latter cried, it was too much for Baekhyun to look at and made himself walk towards the scene.

He felt that he needed to protect the boy who made his heart warm. It’s a good thing his parents thought him to stand up for what is right and fight if he needed to.

Baekhyun was the happiest kid when he learned the name of the boy who took his attention from time to time, even happier when Chanyeol accepted him to be his friend.

---

Baekhyun didn’t notice but as time goes by, he realized that he was falling more and more in love with his bestfriend, Park Chanyeol.

Despite the guy having chubby cheeks, Nerdy glasses, creepy eye twitching grins, the other would always label himself “talentless, meaningless and unworthy tall guy who only knows how to play the guitar”, Baekhyun would always feel hurt everytime Chanyeol think of himself like that because in his eyes, the giant is far more than what he thought of himself, for Baekhyun he is perfect.

And he’s the person that’s giving his heart an indescribable feeling.

Baekhyun knew it’s not good to think of these kind of things to his best friend, it isn’t right. His long timed crush for the said guy bloomed into something Baekhyun didn’t expect. It’s love. He knew he was trapped in his emotions for his taller friend.

Both of them have a dream for music. Chanyeol being able to play different musical instruments and Baekhyun in singing. He realized that Chanyeol inspires him to do his best in their favourite field because whenever Chanyeol would practice with him in his singing, seeing the latter do his best to achieve what he always dreamt of, he knew he’s happy and wanted to try his best as well. He’s always falling in love whenever the giant is so focused in his playing. Like it’s really what is meant for him because it makes him happy.

And that happiness Chanyeol is emitting, makes Byun Baekhyun happy as well.

He’s his Happy Virus.

And Baekhyun realized, it’s not wrong to love at a young age, it’s not wrong to love his bestfriend and it’s not wrong to love Park Chanyeol.

But he knew it would always be one-sided.

---

Chanyeol was heading towards his office room, not minding everyone he bumped into, some are asking him with concerns as to why he was such in a hurry and why he came back to the office after he have said he wanted to go home and rest after a long night of no sleep on work. He couldn’t comprehend everything the people are saying to him, He is so focused in his goal to reach his room, he just needs to get there and prevent his two bestfriends from seeing Baekhyun.

It would be a disaster.

There are sweats forming in his head, and he’s reaching for his breath because he was in a hurry. When he reached his designated area, and was about to open the door, he heard voices talking.

‘ I was late’ he cursed. He saw the three figure inside his office room. Jongin was standing while Kyungsoo and Baekhyun was sitting at his bench chair. He noticed how Kyungsoo was so close to the latter, comforting him. And he notice as well Baekhyun’s bloodshot eyes. It was really red, it looked like he didn’t stop crying from the couple of hours ago of the conversation that happened between them.

He can even hear his faint sobs. He’s still crying?

And Chanyeol can feel a faint thug in his heart. He just couldn’t handle seeing the said man cry like that. Especially not because of him.

He tried to listen to the conversation again, he knew evesdropping is bad, but there’s something in his curious mind that just wanted to know what it is that they are talking about.

“I knew what I did was wrong, and that Chanyeol didn’t deserve it” He can hear a muffle sobs from Baekhyun, his voice a little strained, maybe from all of the crying he did. Why can’t just Baekhyun let it go and pretend that they’re just strangers working in a project, leaving after it’s finished. No Strings attached.
 

“he was kind, he was sweet, and he had treated me the way a loving person would treat their most important treasure, and all I did was to take it all for granted. I really regret everything I did, Believe me.” Sobs again. Chanyeol did his best to stop the erratic beating of his heart, Baekhyun’s explanation is somehow thugging something inside of him. What is Baekhyun saying? Did he really regret what he have done before?

“You see Kyungsoo, The day Chanyeol broke up with me, Nothing had sinked in on me. But when he left, That’s when I felt all the heavy weight drowning me, I can’t focus on anything, My mind can’t even comprehend everything that was said and presented in front of me.. I just felt the emptiness inside of my system. Then it hit me that something important was just taken from me. And what’s worse is that it’s because I didn’t took care of that important thing, I gave it away.” Sobs again. Chanyeol find it hard looking at Baekhyun’s face while explaining. It’s like it’s full of misery and regret. Chanyeol doesn’t want to see him like that.

“I didn’t just lose a lover. I also lost a bestfriend, a brother and a part of me I can’t return” those crystal tears just won’t stop emitting from those beautiful eyes, His lips shivering.Kyungsoo was trying his best to calm the said man by slowly rubbing his back and mumbling a few ‘it’s okay Baekhyun, let it all out.’

  Nevertheless Baekhyun continued. “That’s when I realized that Chanyeol isn’t just a someone to me, he’s already a part of me, he’s a part of me that’s making me, Byun Baekhyun whole.”

Chanyeol’s heart dropped by the sobbing man’s confession of how he treasured him.

“and I feel so lifeless and incomplete without the other half that’s making me complete.” Baekhyun paused “I admit that I made a mistake, something unforgiveable. I hurt a lot of people, I hurt you guys, and I hurt him. But I want to do my best for him to forgive me. Because he doesn’t deserve to suffer because of my stupidity. Even if he won’t accept me as the same as we were before, I just want to be a friend to him that would always stay by his side.”

Chanyeol noticed how Kyungsoo tried his real best to comfort Baekhyun, He also wanted to go there, and be the one to comfort his ex lover. But he just can’t. The feelings of being hurt still lingers against all the feeling of wanting to be with Baekhyun. He knows he still loves the elder, but he’s scared to trust again, to get hurt again. It’s just not right for them anymore.

It can never be them again. That’s just how everything is supposed to be.

He finally accepted that, and he just wished Baekhyun would understand that.

“Baekhyun!” “Baekhyun!”

Chanyeol looked back again at the office room, hearing the faint scream of Kyungsoo and Jongin there watching the former rocking Baekhyun’s body. Without further thinking, his body moved on its own and immediately went towards them. Kyungsoo and Jongin was shocked to see him instantly beside Baekhyun asking them what happened.

“He’s too tired that he collapsed” Kyungsoo answered stuttering. The look on Chanyeol’s face is somehow intimidating for him, anger, worry, concern and is it Love that he saw in the eyes of the taller? “I think it’s because he had no proper sleep, didn’t eat anything for a couple of hours, and exhaustion from too much crying that his body wasn’t able to handle the weight anymore and collapsed.”

Chanyeol checked the fainted man’s breathing, and he didn’t realize he was holding his breath until he let it out when felt the smaller’s chest heaving up and down, and a faint snore coming out from his beautiful pink plump lips, signalling that he’s all right.

“he’s just stressed Chanyeol, relax.” Kyungsoo reassured him and he just nods softly. The scared look on his face finally subsided.

“so you’ve been evesdropping on the conversation, huh?” Jongin asked behind him. Chanyeol felt the hair on his neck stood up, ‘, I was found out’

“you heard everything that he said?” Kyungsoo asked, placing Baekhyun’s body horizontally in the bench sofa of Chanyeol’s office room, placing a small pillow underneath the sleeping boy’s head so he could sleep comfortably. Chanyeol assisting him.

After knowing that they have placed Baekyhun in a comforting position, he sighed and then Chanyeol shyly nodded by Kyungsoo’s question, there’s no point in lying to his bestfriends. He atleast can be honest to them.

“Since you heard what he felt, what are you going to do about it?”

“I don’t know” he admits truthfully. “I won’t lie that I wasn’t affected by what he said, that I wasn’t touched that he regrets everything, but I can’t just accept him open arms. You saw me when I was enduring so much pain because of him. There’s just too much hurt I felt” The taller looked at Baekhyun again. “I can’t just forgive him that easily when that hurt is still evident in me.”

“But Chanyeol, look at him.” Kyungsoo said, looking at the sleeping figure as well, brushing the bangs blocking his face and held the pink flushed cheeks of him, tear tracks still visible. “he regrets everything he have done. His eyes are puffy from endless crying, he’s exhausted from too much stress and hurt to the point of collapsing, and he looks like a mess. Chanyeol he looks as affected as you, maybe even worse. He wouldn’t make a fool of himself infront of everyone, begging for your forgiveness if he doesn’t care.”
 

Chanyeol remained silent. So Kyungsoo went to his side and rubbed his shoulders “Remember that people makes mistakes Chanyeol. Baekhyun is no different. Even if you can’t give him your forgiveness, at least think about giving him chances to prove himself to you. I won’t say he deserves to be forgiven, but I would say that he deserves to be given a chance because atleast unlike others, he admits his mistakes and wanted to make up for it.”

“Dude, I think Kyung’s right on this one.” Jongin followed up. “We all know that it’s also what you wanted after the break up, you wanted to clear things up between the two of you.” Jongin sighed, he have never thought of himself as one of those people that give cheesy romantic advices to his friends, that’s kyungsoo’s job. But he’d make an exemption for this. ”You haven’t fully moved on from him. 17 years Chanyeol. You loved him for 17 years. Don’t throw it all away with your pride just because of one mistake he have done.”

“What if he breaks my heart again?” Chanyeol asked the possibility “I don’t think I can endure it anymore.”

Jongin patted his back “then we’d be here beside you again, Picking up all the shattered pieces and putting it all back together.”

Kyungsoo then looked at Baekhyun with adoring eyes. ‘But I doubt he’ll ever let that happened. I saw his eyes filled with determination and love for Chanyeol, so much that it hurts him’