“From now on, I’ll not just be the father of the baby. I will be the hero of my baby’s mother too.”

Kyungsoo slowly looked at me with his so serious baby face. Yes, I admit he has a baby face. Ugh why I suddenly complimenting him!

“Just kidding. Hehe.” He said with his giggles then look away.

I…. I cannot! I was touched but he’s just kidding?

BWOYA?

“Not funny.” I mouthed.

“Sorry.” He stopped giggling. “I’m someone’s hero already. Saving her is already a burden yet so heartwarming.” He continued having a sweet smile in his face.

I just looked at him. He’s opening about his girlfriend.

“It’s burden because she always needs a hero. She’s so clumsy but it’s cute.” Duh since when being a clumsy is cute, it’s pathetic. “It’s a good thing she don’t usually call for a hero since last week. We had a fight. Sometimes I wish we always have a fight because she’s so strong and not clumsy when we’re having a misunderstanding. She didn’t text me, call me, visit me, and notice me. Then just one day she’ll come to me and will say sorry and just forget what we fight for.” Okay…that’s kind of cute relationship. ”But I sometimes got tired because of her actions like that. But I love her. Maybe that’s why I still didn’t let her go.” He stopped talking. He’s looking straight of nowhere.

I can feel his seriousness in their relationship. I can say that he’s really a boyfriend material. Or more than that. Just look…. he has an annoying girlfriend yet he still stay with her. Still love her.

I feel…jealous. She’s lucky.

I wait for him to speak again but 5 minutes has passed he still didn’t talk.

“Uhhm..” I cleared my throat to break the silent atmosphere again. This is so awkward. He suddenly opens up about his girlfriend. But out of jealousy that I feel… I feel also feel pity on her no because….. her loving boyfriend will have a baby soon. I think my conscience can’t take it if it breaks her heart. I suddenly feel guilty. I don’t know why.

“By the way who’s that Yura?” Suddenly he asked. Looking at his face and his doe eyes, I can see a lot of emotions. But ‘worrying’ is the dominant.

Why is he worried?

“Don’t mind her.” I answered back. “Kyungsoo… I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

I looked at him…deciding if I still need to tell him about it or not.. but I need to, I can’t take it. “I… I once thought of abortion.” I closed my eyes right away and I feel tears flowing in my cheeks. I admit abortion is a mistake, big mistake to do. And just by thinking of it is already a sin. “Sorry.” I mumbled while sobbing.

I’m crying because I know it’s wrong, so wrong! What happened to us is a mistake already and making another one again is the worst. I hate myself.

I opened my eyes just to see Kyungsoo already slowly walking away. Is he hurt? Damn, of course! I saw how angry he was scolding Yura because of what she said.

I just watch him walking away until I don’t see him.

“Otteoke.” I mumbled as I started to run and follow him even if I don’t know where he’s gone after he entered the Music Building. Gosh, he might get lost; it’s his first day in this school!

As soon as I reached the building, there’s no one. That’s a relief. No eyes can see me and can judge me. Of all buildings near the soccer field, why in Music Department! Ugh, I miss playing instruments! I miss my hobby!

“Kyungsoo?” I called his name from the silent place, and my voice is almost echoing.