Chapter 73

A vicious cycle.

A vicious cycle of making up and then avoiding each other.

That was what their relationship was like. At least, that was what it felt like to Kris. For every  few steps forward they took, they took ten more steps backward afterwards and ended up at square one again.

Or maybe this time, they were just stuck at whatever square they were currently at. Granted that he usually was the cause of them taking backward steps, this time it was different. While he was ready to take a few steps further, she was staying at the same spot. She remained at the crossroads where she could choose whether to follow him or take an entirely different path towards someone else.

Yeojin had been subtly avoiding him, Kris noticed. She shied away from his touch or kisses and would create distance between them whenever he was near her. She could barely look at him when they danced at the prom two days ago.

Kris didn't want to think too much into it because he understood that she still needed her space after what they did. Or almost did. Yet, he couldn't completely turn a blind eye on her recent behaviors. Especially after what he heard her say to Sehun.

Yeojin liked Sehun. That was what she herself said to the guy. That was what Kris heard from behind the door before he had to take an urgent call.

Not hearing what she said after, Kris decided not to jump into conclusions or ask her about it because he chose to trust her. After all, she did say she loves him. But insecurities were gnawing him, slowly consuming his mind.

Where were they standing really?

"Morning!" Kris greeted when he spotted Yeojin in front of the door as he walked out of the bedroom with two suitcases.

Hugging herself, Yeojin lowered her gaze. "D-Do you really have to go?"

Kris sighed and was about to answer her when the doorbell rang. "That must be Mr. Lee," he mumbled then turned to Yeojin again. "Hold that thought."

He headed outside to hand his luggages for Mr. Lee to place in the car. Taking a deep breath, he walked back inside the house and found Yeojin sitting on the couch with hollow gaze. However, she sprung up when she realized he was back.

"Kris—" Words seemed to die in and she momentarily closed her eyes. "Do you really have to go?"

Another sigh escaped Kris' lips. They had talked about this last night, but he understood why she kept on asking. He understood her fear and anxiety.

Feigning nonchalance, he mustered a smirk. "You were okay with ignoring me these past few days."

"I wasn't ignoring you!" She quickly retorted and bit down her lip; her gaze darting everywhere. "I-I-I was—"

"I know." Kris softly chuckled then patted her head making her flinch. "I was just teasing you." Retracting his hand, he sighed again. "Jin, we talked about this. I'm only going to temporarily oversee the newly opened branch there, okay?"

"For two months, Kris!" Yeojin reminded; sadness etched on her countenance. She pouted; and once more, Kris was reminded that she was just a teenager.

Kris' lips curled into a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "Yes, two months." He pursed his lips and averted his gaze to the floor. "Maybe that's what we need."

"What do you mean?"

He raised his gaze to meet hers again. "Maybe we can collect our thoughts and feelings while we're away from each other."

Not being able to look at him in the eyes for too long, she avoided his gaze. "Kris—"

"Jin." He reached to grab one of her hands. "I know that we've been doing better now, but let's not deny that we haven't really healed ourselves. The past months have been so eventful; we both need our own spaces to just... breathe. Don't you think so?" He asked with a lopsided smile.

"Besides"—he tucked a few strands of her hair behind her ear causing her to slightly duck her head—"I think you need your own space to rethink everything again. Like your choice of university, perhaps?"

Yeojin softly chuckled even though her eyes were starting to well with tears.

"Has Sehun..." He hesitated asking about this secret Sehun had shared with him, but he eventually decided to do ask. "Has he told you he's going to enlist for the conscription soon?"
Her widened eyes told him that she was surprised that he knew of this secret. "He told me first," he answered before she could ask.

Yeojin clamped her agape mouth shut and pursed her lips before nodding. "He ran away from home after prom." She lowered her gaze again.

"I know where he's temporarily staying. You should visit him some time before he goes to the camp."

A deep sigh escaped her lips. "Actually, Kris, I—"

"Maybe your choice of university isn't the only thing you should rethink, Jin. Maybe you need your own space to get to know your feelings too. To be sure of where your heart lies."

His words must have struck something inside her because he could see the guilt in her sad eyes.

"I—" She let out a shaky breath.

"I'll be back before you know it. Jin, I promise you will never lose me whatever choices you make. 'Kay?"

This time, Yeojin only bit down her lip in reply. Her eyes were glossed with unshed tears. He knew she was tortured inside with fear and uncertainties. If only she knew that he was torn inside too for saying all those words.

"Ah! I want you to have this." He fished something out of his pocket.

Yeojin let out a small gasped recognizing the yarn bracelet that used to be their friendship bracelet. She remembered hers was stored in her trinket box, so this one must be his. Silently, Kris tied the bracelet around her wrist as if it were a final seal of his promise.

"I'm surprised you still have this," Yeojin's small voice greeted his ears.

Kris let out a breathy chuckle and held both of her hands. His thumbs caressed her knuckles hoping it would ease her anxiousness even just a bit. He wanted to say more, but he couldn't articulate his feelings well.

A knock on the door interrupted them.

"Pardon me, Sir." Mr. Lee cleared his throat. "The car is ready. We need to go as soon as possible to catch the flight on time."

"Ah, yes. I'll be right out."

Once Mr. Lee left them alone, Kris brought his attention back to Yeojin. Seeing a drop of tear had rolled down her cheek gave a pang in his heart.

Gently, he wiped her tear with his thumb. Feeling like this was all too much of a drama, he forced a laugh to lighten the mood. "Oh, come on! You're acting like I'll be staying in Guangzhou for good. There are things like phone and video call, you know?"

Yeojin laughed. A force laugh too, he noticed. She sniffed and wiped her own tears. Yet, her eyes were still unable to look at him, and that made him a little sad.

"I have to go now." With hesitation, he placed a kiss on her forehead which miraculously didn't make her flinch.

He didn't linger to watch her reaction or wait for her to reply anything and just walked out of the door. But gravity felt heavier with every step he took farther away. A sudden great force was pressing his chest prompting him to stop entering the car. He didn't even hear Mr. Lee trying to bring him back to earth while asking if he was okay.

His thoughts were with the girl he left inside the house.

He deliberately didn't let her talk much earlier because he was scared of what she might say. Whatever thoughts she wanted to say, he was not ready to listen. Not now.

But what if this is it? What if today, as he left her to think and choose, is the last day he could call her his?

These thoughts ate his mind and pushed him to the brink of sanity.

Without thinking, he ran back inside and found Yeojin at the door staring at him with surprised blinking eyes.

Without asking for her permission, he cupped her face and abruptly claimed her lips with his.

He deeply kissed her like he was devouring her lips. The movement of his lips forced her to let him do so. Unsaid feelings were poured in the kiss. For once, he did not want to be distracted by his insecurities. Or her worries. Or the what if's. He just wanted to let her know the feelings he couldn't convey in words.

So, he kissed her.

He kissed her like it would be the last time he could do so.

Once he pulled away, they were both panting and breathless. Their eyes fluttered open to stare into each other's.

"I'll be back" was what he said last before he finally left.

Turned out, Kris was right.

Having two months away from each other wasn't so bad after all. It wasn't that easy at first for Yeojin, but she had her friends and family. Kris would also video call her every now and then to check up on her and listen to her recounting her day.

Perhaps, she was indeed being too dramatic a month ago.

Kris was right that having her own space helped her to think clearly and to nurture herself. Yeojin wasn't sure if she had really figured herself out; but at least, she could slowly put her fear behind and chase after her dream a little more bravely.

The only situation that she found hard to deal with the past month was trying to avoid revealing Sehun's whereabout to Luhan and Areum when they asked her. Both she and Kris had promised Sehun not to tell his family where he was. If even Kris could kept his promise, Yeojin told herself to do the same thing. In the end, she could only tell them not to worry and that Sehun just needed time and would come home when he's ready.

[09.21]: good luck! come back safe!

She typed a message to Sehun and smiled.

Kris was right. She needed time to herself to be sure of where her heart was. And now she could say she knew whom her heart belonged to.

Kris [18.11]: I have something to tell you
Kris [18.11]: I'll tell you when I'm back
Kris [18.11]: I'll be back soon

Yeojin chuckled.

For some reason, Kris had been saying that he would be back soon since last week. While in truth, there were still 2 weeks left before he would really be back as scheduled. However, it was nice, Yeojin thought, to know that he would really be back.

Maybe, she should have never feared of losing her loved ones from the beginning. Maybe this time, she could really be healed of her trauma and anxiety.

That was what she thought a few hours ago.

Yet now, she could feel the all too familiar numbness slowly spreading from the tip of her fingers to her arms. She could feel the anxiety attack coming her way while she sat down on one of the chairs in the hallway.

Oh how she hated the smell of this entire building!

Silently trying to suppress the anxiety, she watched her mother-in-law crying across her with Lin trying to look strong beside her mother.

"He'll be okay, Jin. He'll be okay," whispered her mom continuously while rubbing her shoulders.

Although, Yeojin could only distantly registered her voice.

The thoughts on her mind rang louder in her ears. Thoughts for the one who was currently battling for his life inside the operating room.

Please be okay. Please don't leave me. You've promised me, Kris!

Two Weeks Earlier
Changsun stared at the papers Wu Huan, the man who had built this empire of a business, had slapped on his table.

The older man had sat himself down on the chair across him. A frown never left his face since he walked into the room earlier.

"Those were the evidences of embezzlement you've been committing since my son passed away."

Changsun gritted his teeth and discretely squeezed the papers he was reading. He tried to put a front, but the pupil of his eyes were shaking.

"Pardon me, Mr. Wu, but I don't understand—"

"Cut the act, Park Changsun!" The older man bellowed. He took a deep breath to calm himself down. "Do not pretend you don't know! Because I know everything now. You're taking the company's money in secret and even sold some information to Geum Enterprise, our competitor! The one you almost convinced all the shareholders to sell this company to back when my son was falling ill."

Changsun balled his hands into fists. How did this old man know? "So? What now?" He smirked and raised a brow in challenge. "You can't fire me. I'm the Vice Chairman here and you no longer have part in the company. And I have my allies amongst the shareholders—"

"Don't be so sure, boy." Wu Huan stood up and looked down on him who was still seated. Even though he had grown old, Wu Huan could still be intimidating when he wanted to—Changsun had to admit. "You don't know what I can do to you. But"—he took a shaky breath—"because I want to respect your late father who was a good friend of mine and the good relationships our families used to have, I will spare you.

"I could easily charge you and have you arrested, but I will give you a chance. If you don't want to get arrested, arrange a meeting with the board and tell them you are going to resign. I will give you a week for arranging handover. If you do that, I will let you walk free. I will not intervene with your son's position here too."

Wu Huan strode to the door but stopped before he opened it and let out a long sigh. "My son favored you so much back then. He wanted to help you financially when you were in debt. He would have readily helped you, but your wife didn't want to inconvenience him any further. She wanted you to be responsible. If only you didn't let anger consume you so much and if only you let go of your obsession for power, my son would have really entrusted you with this company."

With that, the older man left and Changsun could feel his suppressed anger rising to the top of his head. Screaming, he swiped everything on his table in frustration letting them crash to the ground.

The next few days were spent throwing and breaking anything he could break in the house like a madman instead of following Wu Huan's words. The shattered things and chaos the house had turned into—of course—didn't go unnoticed by Chanyeol.

Chanyeol, who initially didn't know what happened, was sure he almost lost his mind like his father did as he witnessed the untamed rage. He tried to stop and calm his father down multiple times but to no avail. He even got a few bruises from trying to do so.

Yet eventually, Chanyeol knew of what really happened when police officers came to his house looking for his father few days later. Shame crashed over him before anger came next. He wanted to demand his father to take responsibility but couldn't because his old man had ran away without him knowing. In the end, he could only assure the officers that he would let them know if his father ever came back.

And his father really did come back two days later when Chanyeol was about to go for work.

"Dad! Dad!" He followed his father who immediately entered the study and closed the door in his face.

Chanyeol furiously knocked on the locked door. "Dad, it's over! Goddamn it! Open the door now!"

The door flung open and his father glared at him. "If it's over for me, then I will shred his family down to pieces too!" He briskly walked past Chanyeol who then tried to stop him from running away again.

"Stop this insanity, Dad! Stop—"

A fist landed on his face causing him to stumble back and fell on his bum.

"Stay away! I will make sure I'm not the only one going down! I will kill them if I have to!"

His father fled the house before Chanyeol could regain his focus. Once the dizziness subsided, he fumbled for his phone to call Kris first but the line was not active.

"Hyung, I can't call Kris hyung. This is urgent!" He told Suho over the phone while quickly getting into his car.

Kris sighed after he reread his text for Yeojin when he remembered to turn on his phone again. He wondered what her face would be like once she saw him back earlier than planned.

After more than a month away from each other, he figured out what he wanted to do. And he would tell Yeojin about it.

He leaned his head back and momentarily closed his eyes before he gazed at the road outside. As he watched their neighborhood coming into view, his phone rang and flashed Suho's name.

"Yes—"

"Kris!" Suho cut him off. "Listen to me! Park Changsun—"

A loud screeching distracted Kris from listening to Suho. The next thing he felt was an impact from the side followed by enormous pains before darkness engulfed him.

"Call me if you need anything," Chanyeol told Yeojin above a whisper.

Yeojin gave him a small smile and nodded before he left the room with Suho. Chanyeol had been continuously apologizing to her and the family. She knew that he felt guilty for what his father had done. But even though she barely knew him, she knew that Chanyeol was not his father.

Changsun deliberately hit Kris' car with his causing an accident that killed Kris' chauffeur. Yeojin had heard of what happened to Changsun that led him to commit this crazy act. Maybe he planned to end both his and Kris' life. However, he had miraculously recovered with minor injuries instead. Also, his room was now under the police's guard. Once he fully recovered, he would have to face charges and would certainly be arrested.

Yeojin sighed watching the sleeping Kris on the bed.

She could still remember the numbness and the pain of feeling like her breath was knocked out of her when she first received the news of Kris's accident.

Fortunately, Kris survived the accident too though with broken ribs and a few scratches. He had also gained consciousness and Yeojin had been tending to him this past month.
 

"What about your university application in London? Did you get accepted?" Kris asked her one day as Yeojin was happily recounting to him her conversation with Sunhee earlier that day. "If you did, wouldn't they be interviewing you around this time? Do you really have to come here every day?"

Yeojin suddenly fell silent before mustering a smile. "Don't worry about me. Be worry about your recovery instead."

Kris silently stared at her a moment longer as she continued her story.

When he averted his gaze from her, he took a deep breath. "I'm going to step down from my position," he cut her off mid story and she fell silent again. "Leading the company is not what I want."

His eyes found hers again and Yeojin could detect seriousness in them. She just mindlessly nodded to what he said.

"Jin," he called her name and she knew what he was going to say next was not meant to be taken lightly. "We don't have to wait for the third anniversary to divorce."

She heard him but somehow she couldn't really process his words yet. She knew since the time he opened his eyes after the accident that there was something he wanted to tell her. And she had been telling him stories non-stop every day just to buy the time even though she didn't actually know what he wanted to tell her.

The touch of his hand on hers brought her out of her thoughts. Words were shove down as she brought her focus back to him.

"Aren't you... tired of all of this, Jin?" His voice was so soft, but it cut deep.

Yeojin couldn't find her voice. She only stared at him waiting for him to continue.

"I—" Kris closed his eyes as a long sigh escaped his lips—"I'm exhausted." He paused. "I think..."

Yeojin felt his hold on her hand tightened.

Maybe he was unsure. Maybe he doubted whatever he was going to say. Maybe he didn't mean it.

But Yeojin could see the tiredness in his eyes. Maybe he's as exhausted as he said. Maybe this was what he really wanted.

Yeojin couldn't discern or even make a guess of what really went in his mind. And while her mind was in a mess, the words came out of his mouth.

"I think we should stop here."