Chapter 41

Mind floating elsewhere, Yeojin bit the tip of her thumb. The thought of what Kris said yesterday made her heart uneasy. Her own feelings when he said it made her even much uneasier.

"Here you go!" With a smile, Sunhee put down Yeojin's ordered drink on the table as she sat down with hers in her hand.

Yeojin was grateful when Sunhee dragged her to the mall after school. She needed to be away from Sehun for now after the news of him having a girlfriend was spread. 

"Hey, you okay?" Sunhee asked with a little frown when she realized her friend was blankly staring at a distance.

After a few seconds of delay, Yeojin sighed. Eyes still at far distance, she asked, "Sunhee, how did you know you like Jongdae?"

Surprised by the question, Sunhee blinked several times. "I don't know," she began and lowered her head to hide a growing blush. "I just felt it, I guess." She shrugged trying to control her grin. "I was just giving it a try, but then he just kind of grew on me. He makes me smile and I just feel happy with him. Then he's suddenly in my mind like twenty-four seven! I realized it wasn't just me being happy but knowing he's happy with me that makes me want to stay with him."

Yeojin glanced at her friend and smiled a little seeing how hard it was for Sunhee to hide her grin.

Suddenly realizing Yeojin's question, Sunhee knitted her brows. "Why?" Then, her eyes grew a little wider as she let out a soft gasp. "Are you starting to like one of the two?" 

Yeojin lowered her gaze to the table. Her heart was suddenly twisting in pain and she took in a shaky breath. She then gulped before she softly said, "No." She momentarily closed her eyes feeling somehow ashamed as she added, "I think I like both."

"Wha-" Sunhee felt her words got caught in . In disbelief, she stared at her friend with rounded eyes.

Opening her eyes, Yeojin scoffed at herself. "I'm such a bad girl, aren't I?"

As a little sigh escaped her lips, Sunhee's gaze turned gentle. Somehow she felt sorry seeing her friend like this.

Keeping her head low, Yeojin continued, "Kris confessed to me yesterday, and he asked me why I was so worked up over his kissing Areum eonni if I don't have any feelings for him. I realized that I was like that because I was simply jealous. Not just because I'm his wife, but I realized it's also because I actually like him too." She pursed her lips and took in a deep breath. "But then when I couldn't sleep last night, Sehun crossed my mind. I knew I had been in denial all this time. In truth, I'm slowly falling for him too."

Sunhee pursed her lips not sure of what to reply. This wasn't what she was expecting to hear. And it certainly wasn't a simple matter, she noted.

Yeojin willed herself to look up at her friend. Tears stinging the back of her eyes, but she held them in. "You know what confused me?" Sunhee slowly shook her head and Yeojin answered for herself, "I'm so scared of losing Kris that I told him to stop loving me. But it was weird that I didn't feel that way toward Sehun. When I'm with him, I felt normal even! I don't know if not feeling scared of losing him is a good thing or not. And I honestly can't understand myself now! I don't know if I'm like that because I like Kris more or Sehun more." 

Finally cracking, a drop of tear escaped her eye and she bit down her lip. "I feel so bad, Sunhee. I can't understand my own feelings! I shouldn't have let my guard down in the first place! I should've stop myself earlier! Now it's too late and I'm so scared of hurting them both." She hiccuped a sob; her chest tightened. "What should I do, Sunhee? I'm such a jerk, aren't I?"

Her question sounded so clueless and broken to Sunhee that it hurt her too. She scooted her chair closer to Yeojin's and pulled her friend into her arms. She badly wanted to tell her friend to just stop being scared of losing the people who love her. But trying to put herself in Yeojin's shoes, she understood that it wasn't that easy. It almost felt like a miracle to even hear her say that she had come to like someone.

Sunhee just rubbed Yeojin's back and patted her head as the friend cried on her shoulder. She softly told Yeojin, "It's okay. You're not a jerk." She continued to gently rub Yeojin's back. "Just let it out, Jin." A soft sigh escaped her lips, feeling her own heart twisted for her friend. "You must've been through a tough time. I'm sorry I didn't realize it sooner." She felt Yeojin shook her head against her shoulder. "Alright. Just let it out now." Sunhee hugged her friend tighter. "Let it out and then later, we'll go shopping around. No more thinking about boys later for the rest of the day. We'll have fun just us two girls. No boys! Okay?"

Still sobbing on Sunhee's shoulder, Yeojin slowly nodded.

As the gate to the mansion came into view, Yeojin dreaded having to go home. Oh, how she wished she could just walked around the mall with Sunhee all day! She had fun with Sunhee just a few hours ago and had even managed to forget about both Kris and Sehun. But once she stepped inside the mansion, all her happy bubbles were popped and the two invaded her mind again.

Even now as her feet followed Jongin's lead, her mind wasn't really there with Jongin. 

"Sorry," she apologized again after stepping on Jongin's foot for the umpteenth time.

Jongin chuckled. "I'm starting to think I failed as a teacher."

Yeojin lowered her head. "Sorry." But even when apologizing again, she still looked out of it.

Jongin smiled and took her hand again setting his on her shoulder blade. "Let's start again."

Yeojin weakly nodded. Just then, Jongin's phone rang and they took a step back from each other. He fished his phone from his pocket and immediately sighed upon seeing the caller ID.

"Sorry. I have to take this." He smiled to Yeojin who silently nodded.

Left alone in the room, Yeojin shook her head. "Forget about them, Jin. Focus on the dance now," she told herself and got into posture imagining a partner in front of her.


Coming inside the house, Kris saw Jongin walking out of the dance room with a phone pressed to his ear before seemingly heading to the back garden. His gaze then fell on the closed door of the room. Yeojin must be there, he knew. Their conversation yesterday came rushing to his mind again. He understood her perspective, but he didn't want to give up either. Not after doing so for several times already. Yet at the same time, he knew he could not force himself on her. Time was what she needed. If being a friend to her would make her trust him again, then that was what he would be.

Kris decided to check on her for a while. When he peeked inside the room, he had to purse his lips to stifle a chuckle upon seeing Yeojin trying to dance alone with an imaginary partner. As she was turning around, without much thought he quickly step inside and caught her hand while resting his other hand on her waist.

Yeojin gasped in shock and her eyes grew wide. "Kris?"

He brought his hand on her waist up to cup her shoulder blade. "Hey," he greeted. This felt right, he thought. Holding her felt right and he suddenly didn't want to let anyone touch her.

Before she could even react, Kris was already leading her to move. Yeojin brought her gaze down unable to look at him in the eyes. As soon as she did so, she stepped on his foot and Kris winced.

"Sorry," she quickly muttered but stepped on his foot again the next second. "Sorry again."

"Eyes up, not down," Kris told her as they stopped moving.

Yeojin glanced up at him, but she was still unable to lift her head up.

"You're just going to step on my foot again if you keep on looking down." A corner of his lips then curled up. "Geez! What has that guy been teaching you? Look at me and just focus on my eyes. Okay? Let your feet follow my lead. I'll lead you," he urged.

Yeojin finally willed herself to fully looked at him in the eyes. And when she did, Kris smiled and led the dance. If only he could make her smile and not cry. If only she would let him tell her he loved her, he would say it again and again to repay all those times he was in denial. But being friends was what she wanted now.

"Tomorrow's my birthday," he told her.

Her eyes rounded a bit. "A-ah. Right!" She cleared .

Kris frowned because Yeojin sounded like she actually forgot his birthday, but he then lightly shook his head. "I want to have dinner with you. Can I?" Her feet stopped moving and she blinked at him. "As friends," he added.

Yeojin's gaze was slowly brought down. Her hands slipped away from his hand and arm. Kris disliked the loss of contact, but he patiently waited for her answer. Silence passed between them before she slowly nodded. A grin quickly grew on Kris' face seeing that.

"Good. I'll have Mr. Ahn to pick you up at school tomorrow."

"Okay." Yeojin nodded and tried to give him a smile.

"We're friends again, right?" Kris asked lifting an eyebrow. Though he was smiling, asking that question gave his heart a little pinch. But he couldn't let his own emotion rule him. What Yeojin wanted mattered more now. He had to be patient to steal her heart.

Yeojin hesitated before she nodded again and gave him a small smile. "Yes."

Without missing a chance, Kris wrapped his arms around her. "Thanks." He hugged her tighter wanting to feel her very being in his arms. He nuzzled his nose on her hair, taking in her scent that he missed. "I miss hugging you at night," he mumbled.

Yeojin pushed herself away a bit and looked up at him with a frown. "What?"

Kris smirked and brought her head to rest on him again. "Just kidding." No, he wasn't. He missed her even though they were staying under one roof. He wondered when would Yeojin want to go back to their own house. "It's kind of lonely sleeping alone," he said above a whisper.

Yeojin heaved a breath. "Kris-"

"Sorry, Jin. Was I taking too long? I was just-" Jongin walked in casually but came to an immediate halt when he saw them.

To Kris' disappointment, Yeojin quickly pushed him away.

Jongin raised his brows. "Err... Was I interrupting something?"

"Yes!"
"No!"
They both replied in unison.

"No," Yeojin insisted. "Kris was just about to go out."

"No, I wasn't," he retorted.

Yeojin glared at him and gritted her teeth pretending a smile. "Yes, you were."

"No, I wasn't."

Jongin bursted out laughing hearing the two bickered. "You know what, actually, I want you to dance with your husband."

"What?" Yeojin snapped back at him.

Jongin just shrugged. "Well, I wouldn't be the one to dance with you when the time comes."

Kris grinned triumphantly while Yeojin pouted and then sighed. The Jongin guy wasn't so bad after all, Kris thought.

Even though Yeojin had said that they were now friends again, Kris knew that deep down something was still weighing her heart. It was just yesterday that she pleaded for him to stop loving her anyway. She couldn't just change one-eighty degrees overnight. When her eyes were staring into his when they danced, he could almost feel the numerous emotions they were bearing. He wished he could just decipher those emotions. She wasn't as cheerful as usual either when they were having dinner with the family.

After taking a shower, Kris decided to go down to the library and bury himself in work. He knew he just couldn't sleep yet without thinking about Yeojin. Working would be the perfect distraction and once he was tired, he would be able to sleep right away.

Hours went by and it was already past midnight when he came out of the library. He passed the guest room where Yeojin had been sleeping in and paused in front of it. He weighed in his mind whether to check on her or not. However, remembering the time, he decided on the latter and proceeded up to his room.

Kris almost screamed when he saw the silhouette of a figure on his bed leaning against the headboard. He felt a surge of relief which turned into happiness when he switched on the light and saw that it was Yeojin. She was sitting on the bed but had fallen asleep with an opened book on her lap.

Kris approached her and sat on the edge of the bed. He smiled seeing her asleep. Taking the book from her lap, he softly chuckled realizing it was a book on management he was currently reading. She wasn't really reading it, was she? He closed it and set it on the bedside table. Carefully he pulled her into his arms and adjusted her to lie down instead. He pulled the cover over her and tucked few strands of her hair behind her ear afterwards.

He could feel himself grinning from ear to ear right then. Whatever she was here for, what mattered to him was she was here. With him. For a long moment,  Kris spent the time watching her sleep as he lay beside her. From time to time, he would caressed her cheek and aimlessly played with her hair.

If only he was never in denial since the first time he kissed her back in high school, maybe he would have had her heart by now and they would be dating. Baekhyun would only be her friend. Their own friendship wouldn't be broken. She would not have to guard the necklace she claimed to be the only hope of their broken friendship. No one would die trying to save her. She would not be afraid to receive love. She would be his. They would have gone on numerous dates, shared kisses, and maybe had some fights only to reconcile again later. Then when the time come, they would get married for real after he proposed to her.

But as a human, he couldn't turn back time. He couldn't restore the lost times he could have had with her. Regret was what the lost times left him with. Guilt was another thing.

Suddenly overwhelmed with both guilt and longing, he moved closer and s an arm under her neck and around her back as he tugged her close to him with his other hand. He then readjusted the cover over them.

Nothing could explain the feeling spreading inside him when he secured her in his arms.

Why didn't he realize it sooner that it always felt right having her in his arms? Kris blamed himself for being too stupid all this time, for even letting her be with someone else, and for betraying her. Now, she didn't want his heart. She was not going to give her heart to him and- he was sure- didn't even feel the same way toward him.

He held Yeojin closer as he caressed her cheek. Tilting her head up a little, he leaned in to kiss her lips. His heartbeat was racing when his lips touched hers. Oh, how he wished those lips would kiss him back! But if she were awake, maybe he wouldn't even have the chance to do this. 

When Yeojin started stirring in his arms, Kris pulled away and let her head rest on his chest. He gently rubbed her back hoping she wouldn't be awaken. He gulped when he felt the tip of her nose briefly brushed against his collarbone when she snuggled closer to him. She encircled her arm around his waist and he heard her hum in content. 

Once he felt her steady breathing again, he let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding and looked down at her. He smiled then kissed the top of her head.

If he could have her all to himself only at night when she didn't even know, then he wouldn't mind sleeping late. As long as he could have her in his arms, he would be content.

OMG! I'm so nervous right now because the author I have always been seeing as some kind of a senpai is subscribing to this story! *hyperventilates* Like this story is nothing compared to hers! Crossing my fingers now.

Anyway, I've been leaving you guys too long, haven't I? I'm so sorry :( Been having a lot of work to do lately. Updates will still be slow. 

But anyone wants to have another Q&A session with the characters? Just comment down the questions ^^

"See" y'all again in the next chapter!