Chapter 62

"Yifan kissed me. Not back when we were together, but recently when I'm already engaged to you. It was a foolish mistake on his part. But nothing else happened between us. That fact will be used to pit you against him. But don't fall for that trap. That's why I'm coming clean to you now."

Areum had rehearsed that in her mind a few times. But actually saying them to Luhan wasn't that easy. Not because she wanted to hold back that secret from her fiancé, but because she couldn't even get a hold of him to sit down and talk. Luhan was too busy these days; she was getting anxious of keeping this secret longer. 

She never intended for it to be a secret in the first place. She was going to reveal it to him. Just not this soon. Not under this kind of circumstances. And certainly not through the phone which didn't let her see his reaction. However, with Luhan's sudden flight to China yesterday and with the uncertainty of when the the pictures would be released, Areum didn't want to prolong this any longer.

["Hey, angel!"] was Luhan's greeting when he answered her call.

"Lu, I really need to tell you something-"

["I know, I know. You've been saying that over the phone several times. And I'm sorry it has been hectic the past few days that I always cut you off. We'll meet soon, 'kay?"]

Areum held back a groan. "No. I have to tell you now-"

["You miss me that much, babe?"] Luhan chuckled, but Areum really couldn't share the same sentiment.

"Luhan! Listen!"

["Babe, I'm on the plane now."]

"What?!"

["I'm flying back to Korea. I was supposed to surprise you, but since you sound so on edge—"] He let the sentence hung while he laughed. ["So we'll meet later, okay? How about late lunch at the usual? You can tell me everything you want then."]

Areum bit down her lip. "Yifan kissed me" was on the tip of her tongue, but she held back. It was better to talk to Luhan face to face indeed.

["Oh! I will have a quick meeting with Kris first though. So maybe I'll meet you for dinner."]

Areum's eyes went wide; the anxiousness kicked in again. She had to tell him now! She couldn't afford making Yifan go through another meeting with Luhan and act as if nothing happened. "Then listen to me first—" She stopped when she heard a female voice she believed to be of the flight attendant's in the background telling Luhan to turn off his phone.

["You'll tell me all you want later, alright, angel? I gotta turn my phone off now. Love you!"] He ended the call in a hurry not leaving a chance for her to even reply.

Areum groaned.

She couldn't let Luhan meet Yifan without knowing the truth. That would only put Yifan in a more difficult position.

Quickly she tapped a contact on her phone. She waited two rings before the line was picked up.

"Yifan."

Yeojin insisted movie tickets should be on her since Sehun had paid for their lunch.

"We still have about 20 minutes." Yeojin checked her watch.

"We can just sit down and wait." Sehun gestured to the waiting area at the side. "I'll buy us drinks."

Sehun went off to the food and beverage section while Yeojin took a seat at the waiting area. Looking around, she realized that the cinema was not that crowded today. Probably because it was a weekday and still lunch hours. She found that most of the visitors to the cinema were groups of friends or family. A few pairs were seen and none of them looked like just a pair of friends. They were definitely couples. Thinking of it, her gaze flew to Sehun at the counter.

We don't look like a couple, do we? She worried then lightly shook her head. It shouldn't be weird for friends of opposite to watch a movie together! A guy and a girl hanging out together doesn't have to be couple. She assured herself.
 

Sehun held back a chuckle seeing Yeojin shaking her head. She looked like she was having a mental debate with herself.

Being with her here right now felt a little surreal to him. It wasn't like it was his first time spending time with her. However, after the news of her marriage broke out, he never thought he would be able to spend time with her like this again. Kris wouldn't let him near her, he believed.

And yet Yeojin told him last night Kris gave his permission. 

"Here." Sehun handed her a cup of soda and sat down beside her.

They spent a few seconds just silently drinking before Yeojin broke the silence. "You know, since we're friends, I don't think it's fair that you know my story, but I don't really know yours."

"What do you mean?" Sehun raised a brow.

"Well... You know my secret now. But you"—Yeojin shrugged—"No juicy secret? No first love story?"

Sehun snorted, looked away and caught the straw of his drink between his teeth. "Is this what girls usually talk about when they're together?"

Yeojin just clicked her tongue and looked away too.

"So... Is Kris Wu like your first love or something?" Sehun asked back. "Did you guys get to date before you married?"

"Hey! I was the one asking first!" Yeojin protested. 

"Fine. I'll answer after you answer me."

Yeojin rolled her eyes. "Not fair! But alright! No, we never dated."

"But he's your first love?" He asked light heartedly and with a tinge of tease.

Yeojin averted her gaze and pursed her lips. "I'm not sure about that. I can't say I understand what love is. Or at least who my first love is." Yeojin cleared when she briefly glance at him. Sehun watched her lashes follow the little drop of her lids as she lowered her gaze which quickly came back to him the next second. "I had once liked someone else." 

Sehun just silently stared prodding her to continue.

"I told you once that I caused the death of my dad and a guy I liked. He died with my dad while saving me." The floor suddenly seemed to be more interesting to her than his face. "On a rainy day, right on my birthday," she added. "That was why I used to hate my birthday and feared the rain." A sigh escaped her lips as she said, "I liked him a lot. I wish he didn't have to die like that. But it's all in the past now."

When she looked at him with a tight smile, he could see that the memory still affected her. Pain was still there. Now he regretted asking in the first place. Sehun initially just wanted to fish out for her possible feelings for him. Foolishly hoping she would say that he was her first love.

Yeojin cleared and gave him a wider grin. "Alright! I've answered your question. Now's your turn."

"Fine!" Sehun let out an annoyed sigh. "There's no first love story."

"You're kidding me right?" Yeojin let out a scoff then hit his arm. "I've told you mine!"

"You didn't exactly tell me about your first love, you know," he pointed out. "You just told me about a guy you once liked."

"I told you I can't really say anything about first love because I don't really know what's love and what's not." She frowned.

"You don't love Kris then?" Sehun tried, belatedly realizing that might not be a question whose answer he really wanted to hear.

"Well I do lov"—Yeojin groaned—"You're dodging my question."

"Well same goes with me." Sehun averted his attention to his drink. "I don't understand love." His eyes flitted to her. But maybe this feeling I have for you is love.

"What about that girl in your freshman year? Sunhee told me once that you dated someone back then when I haven't transferred." Sehun choked on his drink at the question prompting Yeojin to smirk. "So you did date someone, huh?"

Sehun tried to recover from coughing before he hissed and glared at her from the corner of his eyes. "Girls and gossipng!"

"I heard you were pretty whipped too!" Yeojin wiggled her brows while clamping her straw between her lips.

Her constant teasing provoked his playful side. "Not as whipped as I am by you," he declared.

This time, it was Yeojin's turn to choke on her drink. She was clearly flustered, and the tinge of pink on her cheeks made him smile.

"I don't like talking about her," he admitted feeling a sudden weight in his heart. His thought flew to Emi and he briefly wondered where she currently was. The hand on his lap curled into a fist to prevent his guilty feeling from spilling out. Yet, a corner of his lips curled up. "But for fairness sake"—he turned to Yeojin and nudged her shoulder—"I'll tell you."

"She's... like a damsel in distress to me." He watched Yeojin's eyes slightly grew recognizing the familiarity of the term. "Yeah, I told you once that I won't hate you as long as you're not a pretend damsel in distress." He softly chuckled to himself. "I was referring to her. She was this scholarship student who acted all bubbly despite the scornful looks thrown her way. People pushed her around but she smiled through it all like a goody two-shoes." Sehun briefly glanced at Yeojin. "Sounds familiar?" He grinned clearly teasing her, and Yeojin clicked her tongue.

"I'm not going to go into details. But long story short, I fell pretty hard for her, tried everything to save her from the environment she was living in, only to realize she was never a damsel in distress. She was just using me. She never needed my saving. Neither did she need me." He wheeled his gaze to Yeojin and held her gaze. He took a beat before he said, "Because she was already someone else's."

Yeojin's eyes grew before she pulled her gaze away and looked elsewhere. "T-That's—"

"I admit the first time I saw you, your personality screamed her. You looked like this goody two-shoes girl who became a pushover and needed a saving. Just like her. And I thought, just like her, you were actually two-faced. Yet at the same time, you gave off a different feeling from her. You seemed...refined. And-"

"Too perfect?" Yeojin offered with a little smirk. He knew that she remembered the conversation they had back then at the art gallery.

A pure white surface with a black dot, she was not. She was just a clean slate. That was what he told her.

Sehun chuckled. "And I'm glad you're different from her. Though you too belong to someone else."

Yeojin's lips turned into a thin line, and she let her gaze fall on anything else but him.

Sehun stretched out his long legs in front of him as he took a deep breath, shedding off that weight of reminiscing the past. "And you didn't lure me in to use me. I made a fool of myself by prodding you to be my girlfriend." 

"Still"—Sehun nudged her shoulder with his when she ducked her head lower—"I'm glad we've come this far." He rested his forearms on his thigh, leaning his body forward to try make an eye contact with Yeojin who still had her head and gaze lowered. "Tsk. Or maybe I'm the only one glad. Well, it's understandable if you hate me."

"No! I don't—" Yeojin had whipped her head around so suddenly that she abruptly paused. She must've been taken aback by the distance of their faces the way he was. Her rounded eyes flickered all over his face as if searching for which part of his face she could settle her gaze on. "I don't"—he saw her gulped when he casted his gaze down—"I don't hate you. I wouldn't be here with you if I do, don't you think? I li—" She stopped herself and briefly closed her eyes before she said, "I'm glad I get to know you too."

Sehun could feel her gaze finally settling on his eyes, but his eyes already flitted down to her nose, flushed cheeks, and then her lips. It felt as though the room temperature had skyrocketed. "You do?" His voice somehow came out above a whisper. 

He knew he should pull away to create a distance between their faces. But he couldn't, so he didn't.

Neither did she. Why didn't she? 

His gaze darted to her eyes. He didn't know what, but there was just something in the way she looked at him. /Could she be...?/

"Yes," she softly answered and bit down her lip.

"Really?" Sehun's eyes still constantly flickered between her eyes and lips. Against his sane mind, he could feel his head leaning closer. "Do you like me then?" He slightly tilted his head to the side.

"I..." 

When Yeojin suddenly squeezed her eyes shut, it was as if he was snapped out of his bewitched state.

It took them both a beat before they pulled away and Yeojin suddenly shot up from her seat. "I think we should eat!" She declared a little too loud surprising some people around them. "My! Why can't the movie just start now, right? Whew!" She fanned her self  with her hand and then rubbed her nape. "Isn't the heater too hot in here? It's making me hungry! Let's eat!"

Sehun was still trying to process what he just almost did while he tousled his hair. "B-but we just ate lunch, Yeojin."

"A-ah! Right!" Yeojin cleared then turned her head to the side to hide her face. "Then.. What about arcade games to kill the time?" She pointed at some of the arcade games available. "Let's just play!" She quickly walked ahead.

They ended up playing a few games to kill time before they watched the movie. Yeojin couldn't really concentrate on the movie. Her mind darted back to what she almost did with Sehun. She almost made a foolish mistake and betrayed Kris. 

What was she thinking? Why did she froze like that? Why did her heart race so much from the close distance? The questions bombarded her mind.

She had made a decision to put her feelings for Sehun to rest by building this platonic relationship with him. She now realized it was easier said than done. Yeojin hated herself for that.

Everything felt so wrong. Her heart was not at ease. 

Halfway through the movie, she suddenly felt her gut twisting into a knot. Then it was as if her heart just took a free fall for a second. She wasn't sure what was going on.

Could it possibly because of her disarrayed thoughts?

Whatever it was, something just didn't feel right.

When they were out of the theater, Sehun asked if she was okay. He probably noticed that she had been occasionally her chest for some time now.

"I'm okay," she told him. "I just felt a little off."

Sehun casted his gaze to the ground and rubbed his nape. "If it was because of what I did back there, I'm sorry."

"No, no, no." Yeojin waved her hands. "It's not that!" Not entirely, she thought. But really! For some reason, her gut feeling told her this had nothing to do with that little exchange with Sehun.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Sehun held her arm and looked at her in the eyes.

Yeojin didn't have a chance to answer him because her phone rang right then. She blinked seeing Suho's name flashing on her phone. When she picked up the call and heard what Suho told her, her heart sunk.

"What?! Is he alright?" She briefly glanced at Sehun who frowned seeing her worried face. "I'll be there in a few."

"What's wrong?" Sehun immediately asked her when she ended the call.

"Kris got beaten up." She bit down her lip unsure of revealing the detail but decided to tell him anyway. "He was beaten up by your brother."

Sehun had dropped Yeojin off at the house she shared with Kris several times before. But he never set a foot inside the house. He never saw what was beyond the high wall surrounding the house.

Until now.

He wasn't sure how to feel about that.

The house was not big. It was small with a decent space for a garden at the front. It was exactly what Sehun imagined a young married couple would live in. Except there was not a single wedding picture around the house. That fact somehow comforted him. Until he discovered that there was only one bedroom.

"What's it to you?" A voice in his head mocked.

Kris was already on the bed wincing at his pain while Suho was getting the ice pack in the kitchen when they arrived. Sehun stayed at the bedroom's doorway watching Suho passed the ice pack to Yeojin. 

He noticed that there was only one bed and instantly wondered if they had always slept together.

"What's it to you?" The voice in his head sneered again.

As Yeojin was tending to Kris' bruises, Sehun realized the reason she looked unwell and so out of it before. Somehow, someway, as if by a superstition made real, she sensed her husband's misery. Now he wasn't feeling so good.

They finally learned that Luhan just got back from China to meet Kris and Suho when the Chairman decided to tell him about that kissing incident because Areum failed to tell him herself. Sehun sighed. It must have been hard for Areum to tell his brother about this in person considering Luhan's current busy schedule. And it must have been such a shock to his brother.

Sehun and Suho ended up helping Kris explain to Yeojin why they had to let Luhan know about the incident when they could just be silent and forget about it like she did. He told her everything he told Kris and Suho back then.

After telling them he would try to talk to his brother, Sehun excused himself to go home.

"You don't have to walk me out," he told Yeojin who followed him out.

"I want to thank you for today." She gave a small smile and Sehun just nodded.

"Go on. You can go back inside now," he told her when they had walked out of the gate. "Good luck for tomorrow's thesis defense," he said before he turned around and headed to his car.

"Wait!" Yeojin grabbed his elbow and quickly released it. "I..." She ducked her head and scratched her head. 

Sehun wondered what she wanted to say to make her look so conflicted.

"I just— I want you to know that I don't hate you. I—"

"I know."

"Huh?" Yeojin lifted her head and blinked her eyes at him.

"Your feelings, I think I know."

Her eyes narrowed at him. "You're not a psychic. How would you know? How would you even know what I wanted to say?"

"Your eyes." He pointed to the pair of eyes he wished he never had to look away from.

"What about them?" Yeojin rubbed her eyes making him softly chuckle.

"The way they stare at me." Sehun buried his hands inside the pocket of his winter jacket.

Yeojin clicked her tongue. "Aren't you getting ahead of yourself?"

"Am I?" He asked her back and she grew silent while staring at him. 

There! That stare!

He might be wrong. He might have got ahead of himself. But his gut feeling told him she had feelings for him too. Kwon Yeojin had feelings for him. He didn't know if it were greater than that she had for Kris or not, but she had fallen for him, he believed.

But it didn't matter. She loved Kris too. And she belonged to Kris. Fated to be with Kris.

If he could find a way to be the one by her side, he would try to. But for now, they better stop discussing this. He didn't want to hope too much.

Yeojin took a deep breath. "I..."

"Some things are better left unsaid, don't you think?" Sehun cut her off with a smile. He tilted his head back to let out a breath. "I mean... Tomorrow's thesis defense is already stressing me out. Don't stress me out even more with your hatred for me," he joked.

Yeojin looked like she was about to protest to that statement, but it then dawned on her that he was just joking. He could see that she knew that he knew the truth.

"You're taking too much of my time," he sneered, acting annoyed. "I'm going now." He turned his back on her and entered his car. "Good luck tomorrow!" He told her before the car window went up and he drove away.

Happy 6th Anniversary, fellow EXO-Ls! And happy [belated] Sehun day! Oh and Luhan day too!

Pardon the long conversations. Just wondering: are you guys okay with long convos? I for one don't favor it much, but I often end up writing them lol!

Thank you all who have patiently waited for updates and actually stay. This emotional roller coaster ride has been around for far too long, I know. I promise this is already nearing the end. This year I will end it for real! Hehe