Chapter 70

The temperature outside had been dropping lower. Winter had come since last month, but only with this drastic change of temperature did everyone finally really realize the change of season. Likewise, a new season of life was upon the high school senior students soon to be graduating.

As he stirred the hot chocolate drink in the cup, Kris silenlty watched Yeojin who had been busy in front of the laptop since after dinner. His eyes then traveled to her pony tail, exposed neck, then down to her boatneck sweater. He bit down his lip and averted his gaze.

Seriously! It's freezing outside, and she chose to wore that inside the house. The weather had been taunting him enough, but now she just had to make it harder for him to keep his thoughts in check.

"You've been closing and reopening that site for fifteen minutes!" Kris spoke up as he took a seat beside Yeojin on the island counter. "Here." He handed her a cup of hot chocolate while sipping his.

"I-I did?"

Kris nodded and peered at her laptop screen. "LSE, huh? Isn't that in London?"

Yeojin quickly closed the mentioned university site again and cleared . "I was just checking it out of curiosity." Placing down her cup, she averted her attention back to the Seoul University application she needed to fill.

Kris sighed then smiled. "You can always apply to more than one university, you know?"

"I know. But I've made my decision. And I want to stay here in Seoul."

Loving, being loved, and being left— those were her fears since the passing away of her dad. She had faced the first two pretty well these past months, but not the latter, he noted.

"Alright. It's your choice. But know that whatever you choose, I'm not leaving you." He patted her head and she turned to look at him with a sigh.

"You better not!"

"I still think you should go for LSE though." He grinned to which she pouted. "Look, I know you're deciding on this because you're already hating the fact that you won't be able to see Sunhee or your friends that much anymore." His hand moved to rub her back. "But Jin, wherever you decide to go, Sunhee, Lin, your mom, Jinho, me—we'll stay in your life."

Yeojin softly groaned while rubbing her face. "I just can't lie to you, huh?"

Kris gave her a lopsided smile. It's true that Yeojin was like a reopened book to him the moment he gave up on hating her. Until now, he still regretted ever hating her just because he didn't want to admit that she had his heart from the start.

Lifting his cup of hot chocolate to his lips, he turned his attention back to his laptop whose screen showed the new hotel business plan. "If you choose LSE, I can go to London and live there with you."

"You're a chairman," Yeojin reminded. "You need to be here for the company."

"Exactly why I can do what I want. Even if I can't, I can always take an annual leave. Or I can come back here every now and then." Kris nonchalantly shrugged then glanced at her with a playful glint in his eyes. "You're already reconsidering your choice of university, I see."

Yeojin quickly turned away from him with a fake cough. "Am not!"

Abandoning his attention on his work, Kris snorted and twisted his body to face her while propping his head on his hand. He placed the other hand on her exposed nape gently rubbing it with his thumb. "I just want you to face your fear. You can never win over your fear if you stay in your comfort zone." His hand moved to play with her pony tail, twirling it in his hand. "Besides, if we do live there. There'll be just us two. We can have all the time we want to ourselves."

Yeojin suddenly narrowed her eyes on him.

Confused, Kris raised an eyebrow. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"You know..." She tilted her head to the side observing him. "Maybe you and Sehun are actually soulmates." A grin broke out across her face when he looked scandalized.

Kris loudly scoffed. "You must have lost a screw!"

"He said something similar to me."

His head quickly snapped back to her and his face was contorted into a frown. "That you two can live together?"

"What? No!" Yeojin laughed. "I meant he told me to face my fear too yesterday."

The relief washing over Kris must have been so obvious to her because the next second he felt her finger poking his cheek while she giggled.

"You look like you're ready to go find Sehun and beat the crap out of him."

"No, I wont." He took her hand and kissed the knuckles. He smiled. "I'll kill him on the spot."

Yeojin snorted before she sighed. Something changed in her expression. Her lips were smiling but her eyes were somber. "That wouldn't matter. He's going abroad. Probably wouldn't come back either."

Kris knitted his brows. That's what he told her? Why didn't that guy tell her the whole truth? Pushing away the thought, he tightened his grip on her hand and let his thumb caress the wedding finger that had been encircling her finger again for the past month. "And that bothers you?"

She quickly averted her eyes from his and cleared . "N-no."

You're lying. He remembered how she just hugged him for a long time yesterday when he came home for work. He knew then that something was wrong but she only said she missed him. It was proven now that something indeed was wrong. 

Sehun would be leaving. That was what was wrong with her.

A little prick to his heart made him stand from his seat. He moved behind her and enveloped her in his arms.

Kris trusted her feelings for him, but it didn't mean she had zero feelings for Sehun. He knew that. And he couldn't protest to it much because it happened because of his own fault. All he could do this time was to show her that he wouldn't leave her. She got him.

"What are you doing?" Yeojin let out a short chuckle when Kris just kissed her temple then rested the tip of his nose on her shoulder.

God! She smells so good! "You should wear warmer sweater," he mumbled to her shoulder. She didn't respond anything when he kissed her temple again for a longer time, but he could imagine the look of confusion in her face.

Honestly, Kris didn't know what has gotten into him either. He blamed the weather and Yeojin. And Sehun. He really wanted to erase that guy from her mind. From her life.

But you also told the guy to fight you for her heart and to stay in her life, ! What do you actually want? A small voice nagged his mind as he dropped a kiss to her cheek. 

What he wanted? He wanted all of her heart for him. But he also wanted her to be happy and to be able to choose that happiness herself. That was why he told Sehun to stay in her life. He knew—no matter how much he hated to admit it—that Sehun was part of her happiness too.

And there was that option of divorce once they reached their third anniversary.

But he hoped—god! He hoped!—he would be the happiness Yeojin would finally choose.

"K-Kris?" He felt her flinched when he kissed her neck once. 

Then another time. 

Her breath hitched when he kissed it again before he the spot. She squirmed and lightly nudged him with her elbow signaling him to stop. "Kris!"

For a few seconds, he only stared at her rounded eyes. Then, he mentally cursed himself and squeezed his eyes.

"Sorry. I didn't mean to—"

"It's okay. I was just—"

"No, it's not. I shouldn't have—"

"Kris, it's okay!" Yeojin rubbed his arm to stop him. "I-I was just... surprised." She bit down her lip and lowered her gaze.

Because you were thinking of him. Kris added in his clenched heart. Now it felt like he got infected with her fear of being left by loved ones. By her.

"Yeah, I understand." He pecked the top of her head before releasing her from his embrace.

"Oh here it is!" Yeojin exclaimed to herself when she opened the third drawer of her bedside table and found the nail clipper she had been searching for the past five minutes.

She paused when her eyes landed on a folded greeting card. Forgetting what it was, she picked it up only to regret it the second she opened it.

It was the greeting card Sehun gave her for her birthday. 

If you don't know where to run to, then I won't be far. 

Those were some of the words he wrote.

Yeojin deeply sighed. 

Strange. She never feared losing him the way she feared losing Kris. Strange how it bothered her now that she knew he was going far. At least it slightly did. She regretted ever letting Sehun come into her life. If Sehun's going abroad could even bother her, she couldn't imagine—

Her train of thoughts were cut off when she heard the bathroom door being opened. Quickly she put the card inside the drawer again before Kris came out of the bathroom.

When Kris' eyes landed on her, she shortly smile then averted her gaze to proceed clipping her nails.
 

Kris lay down facing her, but Yeojin had her back on him and was cuddling the big beaver doll instead. 

Damn you, Beavie! He regretted ever giving that doll now.

He knew she wasn't asleep yet. Probably still thinking of Sehun, he grimly thought. How he wish he could just hug her right now. But she had not been saying anything much to him since what happened earlier.

His eyes rounded in surprise when she suddenly turned to face him as if she knew what he was thinking. As he thought, she had not fallen asleep.

"Why aren't you asleep yet?" was the question his brain had prepared for him to ask. Yet, he kept quiet, opting to quietly stare back at her hooded eyes that was staring at his instead. As if he was bewitched.

Maybe he was.

He wasn't sure how many seconds or minutes had passed with them just lying facing each other and silently staring at each other with slowly blinking eyes, but it really didn't matter. He didn't mind spending the night like this. Then, Yeojin scooted closer and s her arm around his torso burying her face on his chest afterwards.

"Kris..."

"Hm?"

"I love you, Kris."

His heart skipped a beat. It wasn't something he could hear often. It wasn't words Yeojin would easily initiate to say.

He hugged her back.

"I love us. I love you," she repeated and he felt her hold around his body tightened. "So much."

This time it felt like his heart stopped beating for a second. But somehow it wasn't as pleasant as the one before. There was something strange in her words he couldn't pinpoint.

"You know that, right?" She asked. "You're the one." Then, he heard her faintly mumble more to herself than to him, "I love Kris."

Now it sounded more like she was trying to convince herself that what she was saying was true. Which maybe what she really was doing. 

Again, she surprised him when she pulled away a little to cup his cheek and gently pull his face down for their lips to meet. 

He should be happy. He should feel at ease and reassured with her lips pressed against his. It should be so. Just like how it usually was. But instead, a lump suddenly formed in his throat.

Was this her way of convincing herself that she loved him? Why would she need to convince herself though? Was it because she actually didn't love him?

If she really needed some convincing, he would give her the assurance.

Slowly, Kris raised his head off the pillow to tilt his head for a better angle. His lips then carefully parted to engulf hers. Yeojin didn't respond at first until Kris poked his tongue out as he brought his hand to hold the side of her face. Her lips parted permitting an access for him.

No words were exchanged, but he hoped she could feel how much he loved her, how much he regretted not loving her sooner, and how much he wished her heart was only his. He hoped she knew that he was there to stay.

Their need of air momentarily stopped their wordless exchange of inner desires. For a moment, their eyes—accompanied by heavy breaths—took over communication. Unlike a few hours ago when her eyes stared at him in surprise, now her eyes stared deeply into his. As if searching for an answer. As if wanting to say something. Maybe trying to silently say "I love you" again. Whether to convince herself or him, Kris did not know. But no convincing was needed for him. He knew what he wanted. He knew what he wanted to say.

Propping himself higher on his forearm, he tucked strands of her hair behind her ear with his other hand and whispered, "I won't leave you."

Her reply was wordless. Yeojin blinked once. Then another time. She circled her arm over his shoulder as Kris closed their distance again. 

As minutes passed, their kiss turned more passionate. Like a burning fire being added fuel, his desire for her was set ablaze. His hand on the side of her face traveled to her nape to pull her even closer, to her shoulder, then to the small of her back. Carefully, it went down to the hem of her sweater before it slipped inside. Touching her skin, Kris felt like his hand got burned. But it didn't stop him.

Her sweater slightly rode up along with his hand that went up higher on her back. That was when he stopped and gently pulled away from the kiss. If he went any further— 

Goddamn! I'm losing my mind here!  He mentally cussed while Yeojin only stared at him with hooded eyes; her face flushed and her lips swollen.

"Jin..." His voice came out above a whisper between pants.

Yeojin, who was also panting, only hummed in reply. "Hm?" He saw her gulped.

"I'll always be by your side." He pecked her lips then stared at her eyes again. "I love you," he confessed. God! He swore he wouldn't be tired of saying this to her. "I love you." His thumb inside her sweater made small circles on the bare skin under. "Will you"—his thumb moved to trace the ribcage under her skin and he heard her breath hitched—"let me love you fully?"

If she stopped him, he would. Kris promised himself he would.

Yeojin cupped his face with both hands. Her gaze on his eyes fell to his lips. Gulping, she pulled his face toward hers and kissed him. Her reply was once again wordless, but Kris couldn't complain. That was all he needed.

Unlike the rising heat between them, the temperature outside had dropped lower. One snowflake followed after the other softly whirling down from the sky to kiss the ground. Likewise, his hand gently glided over her skin. Unsure. Nonetheless, gentle. Awkward glances and mumbles of unsureness and assurance filled the silence between heavy breaths. When Yeojin let out soft sounds of pleasure at his touch, Kris felt like he just discovered something new. Like that time when he was a kid and discovered what crayons can do. Or like that time he first felt happiness from merely making baby Yeojin laugh with his silly faces.

More and more snow fell. Soon, most surface would be blanketed by the blinding white snow.

"I love you," Kris whispered.

Skin to skin, they held each other.

I can't believe~

Yeah I can't believe I finished writing this right on Kris' birthday! And I can't believe I wrote that *cringes* What the hell did I just write? lol. You get why it took me long to write this chapter, right?

Kris: Aina, shut up and go away! Don't mess up my tempo.

'Kay, I'll throw myself out with this gross of a joke!