Chapter 32

ICE: Thaw the Frozen Heart [EDITING]

Chapter 32

 

Summer, 4 Years Ago

Yeojin waved her hand to her friends before she paddled her bicycle. She greeted the school's security guard a good bye and passed the school's gate. She turned at a corner when someone suddenly appeared in front of her.

"Oh my god!" One of her feet landed on the ground to abruptly stop the bike in time. "What did you think you're doing?!" She slapped Yifan's arm repeatedly, but the guy only chuckled.

"You should've seen the look on your face!" He laughed.

"I could've hit you-"

"With your bike?" He teasingly arched a brow and Yeojin clicked her tongue. "Come on! Off!" He shooed her with a hand gesture. "I'll ride the bike."

Yeojin complained under her breath, but she complied and sat on the back while Kris mounted on the saddle. She then held on to his waist.

"Hold on tight." He grinned and paddled away from the sidewalk.

"Why are you picking me up?"

"I'm not. I'm taking you out." He briefly pivoted his head toward her and smiled.

Yeojin wasn't that happy with the idea though. "Aren't you supposed to be with Yoora eonni?"

"Nah! We've met at school, and she has broadcasting club to go to. Besides," a corner of his lips curled up, "I haven't seen you for days. Don't you miss me?"

"Nope." Yeojin answered right away. "I miss Lin and Sunhee though. Why didn't you bring them along?"

"Argh! You broke my heart!" He joked, putting both hands on his chest.

Yeojin shrieked and hugged his waist. "Oppa! Stop joking! Hands on handlebars NOW!"

Yifan laughed as he put both hands back on the handlebars. He smiled as he briefly looked down on her arms around his torso.

Yeojin released her hold around his torso and set her hands on his waist again. "Don't do that ever again!" She slapped his back.

 

They sat down on the grass facing the lake at the park. Yeojin smiled and breathed in the smell of grass, trees and flowers.

"You really should've brought Lin and Sunhee along." She happily her ice cream.

Kris sighed. "What part of 'I want to spend a day only with you' do you not understand?"

"The 'only' part." She shrugged.

He rolled his eyes. "You're so stupid sometimes," he muttered under his breath.

"So how's the company training thing?" Yeojin asked.

"Crazy." He shrugged while his ice cream.

"And school?"

"Crazy."

“Private lessons?”

“Crazier.”

"How's Yoora eonni?"

"Crazy-,” Kris stopped himself realizing the question. “I mean she's fine."

Yeojin laughed. "I'm SO telling her you called her crazy."

"Ya!"

"I'm kidding." She laughed still and then sighed, looking back at the lake. "Of course you wouldn't think she's crazy. If anything, she's crazy beautiful!"

Kris chuckled. "Yeah. She's pretty. Her brother's a douche though."

"For stealing your girlfriend back in junior high?" Yeojin teased.

"He's a traitor."

"He's saving you from breaking another girl's heart."

"By stealing her and letting her break mine?" He raised a brow.

"Touché. He's clever." Yeojin shrugged and stuck out her tongue at him.

"Geez. Thank you for being such a supportive friend," he retorted sarcastically.

Yeojin laughed and they fell into a comfortable silence while finishing up their ice creams.

After a while, she glanced at Kris and smiled. "So, Oppa," she called and got his attention. "Is she the last one?"

"What do you mean?"

"Yoora eonni~" Yeojin nudged his shoulder with hers. "She's pretty, smart and very kind too. I hope she'll be the last girl for you."

"Actually I-"

"Don't tell me you're going to play with another girl." Yeojin gasped. "Stop playing with a girl's heart, Oppa! Stop giving girls hope if you're only to crush it again," she scolded. "Yoora eonni is perfect! So I hope you settle with her," she stated seriously before she looked back at the lake.

Yifan stared at her for a moment. He considered what she said and thought that she was right. He needed to stop playing with girls' hearts just to cover his complicated feeling. For the girls he’s now staring at.

"Wanna hear something crazy?" He asked and she looked at him with raised eyebrows. This time, he turned to look ahead. "I will stop playing with girls. You're right, Jin." He looked at her with a smile, which she returned.

"Now that's my oppa!" She patted his back.

The sky suddenly turned darker and a drop of water tingled Yeojin's nose. They both simultaneously looked up and felt slow drops of water landing on their face.

"Monsoon rain," Yifan clicked his tongue. "We gotta go." He stood up first, grabbing his bag, and helped Yeojin to stand.

Yifan quickly mounted the bicycle and Yeojin followed along. As they rode out of the park, the drizzles turned into rain.

"Oh no!" Yeojin exclaimed over a chuckle. She spread her arms, letting the rain drenched her.

"Ya! Hold on!" Yifan scolded her and she obeyed with laughter.

"You're no fun!"

They decided to take cover under the bus stop shelter. Yeojin was laughing when they arrived while Kris was frowning.

"Does getting drenched in rain equal to fun?" He grumbled as he parked the bike and then rummaged his bag for his phone.

"It is!" Yeojin gleefully answered.

While Yifan was busy looking through his contacts, Yeojin gave a smile to a grandma who was sitting at the bus shelter too. She was the only one there beside them. A bus soon came to a stop, and the grandma boarded the bus after she exchanged silent greetings with Yeojin.

After calling for Mr. Ahn, Yifan put his phone back inside and took out a small towel, which he always had in his bag in case he got time to play basketball with his friends. He zipped up his bag and draped the towel on Yeojin's head.

"I've called Mr. Ahn," he told her while he dried her hair with the towel. "He'll pick us up here."

"But what about my bike?" She pouted.

"It'll fit in the trunk." He answered while still focusing on drying her hair.

Yeojin smiled at his action and closed her eyes in content, letting him do whatever he was doing. Yifan's hands slowed down when his eyes landed on her face. His eyes traveled down from her closed eyes to her smiling lips, making him smile too. He was caught off guard when she suddenly opened her eyes and her smile grew wider. His heart skipped a beat.

Yifan had been convincing himself that whatever he had been feeling for Yeojin was platonic. He succeeded in convincing himself because his feeling for Yeojin was different than that he felt for the girls he had dated before. But now, he didn't know anymore. Had he been wrong this whole time? Were the feelings he had for his past girlfriends the platonic one while the feeling he had for Yeojin was... What was it actually?

"Thank you, Oppa." She placed her hands on his, which were still on top of her head. "Here," she grabbed the towel, "let me dry your hair."

Yifan had not even replied when Yeojin had started drying his hair. She had to tiptoe due to his height. It created a closer distance, which made Kris flustered.

"I-It's okay." He tried to pry her hands away. "I can do it myself. The towel's already a bit damp anyway."

Yeojin clicked her tongue and frowned. "Just stay still and let me do it, will you?" She glared and Yifan cowered at that.

"A-alright. Sheesh. No need to glare at me like that." His hands slid down to her arms.

He gulped when she tiptoed a little more and her chest slightly brushed against his. It wasn't helping at all that their drenched uniforms were somewhat sticking to their bodies. He felt the pace of his heartbeat quickened as he became more self-conscious of how close their faces were. His eyes traveled down to her lips and he had to close his eyes to drive away any unwanted thoughts.

Shi- Dammit, Yifan! Snap out of it! She's like your sister! But this girl seriously doesn't know what she's doing to me. "That's enough, Jin." He tried to gently pull her hands away, but she glared again.

"Just a bit more. Can't you stay still, Oppa?"

Yifan mentally cursed and he tried to focus on her eyes. It worked to keep himself checked and his crazy thought at bay. But the longer he stared at those eyes, the more confusing his feelings for her became. He couldn't tell when it all started, but her presence always did weird things to his heart. Even now when her eyes weren’t looking back at his, he was still drawn to her. And now, her eyes were all it took to hypnotize him and drive him insane.

His hands on her arms slid down to her waist, and without any further thinking, he dove to capture her lips with his.

Yeojin's eyes immediately grew wide. Her hands immediately slid down to his chest to push him away, but his arms suddenly encircled her body and pulled her closer. Her hands were trapped in between their bodies, but Yeojin still tried to push him.

What is he doing?! He shouldn't do this! Her mind shouted, but her heart couldn't say she dislike it. This isn’t right! Why am I feeling this? You shouldn't, Jin! She squeezed her eyes and weakly tried to push him.

Luckily, Yifan came back to his senses when he realized what he was doing. His eyes flew open and he immediately pulled away. They stared into each other's equally widened eyes for a while. Yifan loosened his arms around her, but his hands then stayed on her waist.

"O-Oppa!" Yeojin managed to let her voice out. "What were you-"

"I'm sorry!" Yifan quickly cut her. "I-I-I was..." What was I thinking?! What did I actually do? "I..."

Yeojin suddenly forced a chuckle and slapped his chest. "You tripped, didn't you? Haha." She gently pushed herself away from him and turned away to hide her reddened cheeks.

Yeojin scolded herself for not scolding him. She should be lashing out at him by now for kissing her even though he had a girlfriend and for stealing her first kiss. However, she couldn't find the heart to get mad at him.

"Here." She handed him the towel. She still couldn’t bring her eyes to meet his.

Yifan took it and rubbed the nape of his neck. "Jin, I-"

"Your car is coming!" Yeojin announced pointing at a distant black sedan approaching the bus shelter.

When the car stopped in front of them, Mr. Ahn came out with an umbrella and ushered Yeojin to enter the car first. Yifan helped Mr. Ahn to put the bike in the trunk before entering the car. When he entered, he glanced at Yeojin who didn't even spare him a glance.

"We'll drop Yeojin at her house first," Yifan told Mr. Ahn.

"Very well, young master."

Yifan looked back at Yeojin and saw how she stiffened under his gaze. He regretted kissing her. Not because he disliked it, but because of what it did to his feeling. She's so going to hate me for that. Idiot! Why did I do that?

Yeojin could feel Yifan's eyes on her and she looked out the window. That didn't happen. That was only an accident. She told herself. This won't change us./She wished.

But that kiss did change them.

 


 

Yeojin's grip on his shirt slowly loosened and her hand crept up to the back of his neck as her lips slowly responded to his kiss. She put a force on his neck, pulling him closer. Her other arm was wrapped around his shoulder, resting her hand on his back, as Kris gently pushed her to lie down. Their lips momentarily parted, but Kris soon connected their lips again. The kiss started slow at first, but it turned into a passionate one as seconds went by.

Yeojin remembered it now. She remembered feeling surprised when she felt his lips on her for the first time that summer day. She remembered thinking it wasn't real until he hugged her tighter. She remembered wanting it to stop, but not disliking it at the same time. She remembered the thrill and the fear because it was her first, and he was someone else's. She remembered him suddenly avoiding her the day after.

He avoided her.

He avoided me. Her lips slowly stopped moving as the thought infiltrated her mind.

Kris couldn't stop feeling little sparks inside of him. And he knew this wasn't just lust. This was something different. He wasn't even thinking of taking advantage of her out of this very moment. Instead, he was feeling a new kind of fear. He was afraid of hurting her. She was like something fragile he just wanted to gently take care of. Yet, he didn't want this to stop. He didn't want to lose the sweet taste of her lips. Of Yeojin's.

Wait. Everything suddenly felt very tangible. The light-headed sensation slowly disappeared as a thought dawned on him. This is Yeojin I'm kissing. His lips stopped moving as he felt hers did the same. His eyes flew open and he pulled away just when he felt Yeojin pushing him up.

He was propping himself up with an arm while his other hand was still on the side of Yeojin's face. He looked down and saw her still with closed eyes and a hand on her lips.

Yeojin's fingers trailed to her lips where his lips had left. She was afraid to open her eyes. She wished this were all but a dream. She wished that she just fell asleep while watching the movie and that if she opened her eyes now she would be leaning on Kris' shoulder and would find Loki's face staring back at her through the screen instead. But no. As much as she dreaded it, what just happened happened. She could feel his warm breath tickling the skin of her face and his ghosting touch on the side of her face.

That didn't happen. That didn't happen. Yeojin chanted in her mind, as her eyes fluttered open.

As soon as her eyes were open, his eyes that looked no less surprised than hers greeted them. Her heart picked its pace, and she momentarily held her breath. They felt each other's breaths on their faces, but they couldn't move. Or maybe they didn't want to because they both knew that when they did move, everything would feel very real.

Kris wanted to say something, but he didn't know what to say. If he didn't get a grip of himself, he would've dove in for another kiss.

A sound of explosion and an angry Hulk startled them and Yeojin sat up while pushing Kris a little bit too hard. He fell to the ground with a thud and a groan. Yeojin abruptly stood up and looked away.

"I-I-I’m sleepy! I'll sleep first!" She quickly walked away, but then stopped in her steps when she realized they had to share the same bedroom. She turned back around as Kris propped a hand on the couch to help him stand up. "Kris, I- You-"

"I'll sleep on the couch," he cut her. Yeojin briefly looked at him with rounded eyes.

"Are you sure you're-"

"Yeah. I-I'm going to do a movie marathon anyway. I wanna watch Thor and Iron Man, and maybe Captain America. They’re amazing!” What am I talking about? His eyes landed on her. “And beautiful.” His mouth clammed shut and his eyes were simultaneously squeezed. I’m out of my mind! “So yeah.” He cleared his throat. “You go sleep!”

Yeojin nodded and scurried inside the bedroom, locking the door behind her. She dropped down on her bed and brought her fingers to her lips. Her other hand caressed her chest where her heart was pounding hard against. That didn’t happen, did it? She started hitting her head and pulling on her hair. Idiot, idiot, idiot! Why did I kiss him back?! Idiot! She threw her body to lie on the bed and stared at the ceiling for a long time. Now how am I supposed to face him?

 

“‘They’re amazing and beautiful’,” Kris muttered to himself and scoffed as he plopped down on the couch. “Very clever, Kris!” He threw his head back and pinched the bridge of his nose.

He couldn’t understand why he was still feeling those sparks. He convinced himself that whatever that feeling was it was only because he was caught in the moment. He told himself that it felt new because he had not kissed anyone in a long time.

“I would probably feel that even if it’s not her.” I’m not going to let this change us again.

 

She slapped him across his face and Yifan could feel the stinging pain left on his cheek. Yifan brought a hand to his cheek before slowly turning to her. He saw how her eyes were shaking and glistening with tears.

“You should be grateful, I didn’t slap you in front of other students,” she said through gritted teeth.

“Why are you suddenly acting like this?” He calmly asked but she scoffed.

“Why? You ask me ‘why’?!” Yoora hit his chest. “You lied to me!” She hit his chest again. “You told me that you had to go to the company, but where did I see you? At the bus shelter! With HER!” She hit his chest again. Angry tears escaped her eyes. “You lied to me! And you KISSED her, you jerk!” She continuously hit him with her fists. “You’re a heartless jerk!”

Yifan was too stunned to react. He didn’t stop her because he knew he deserved it. When her hits weakened, he caught Yoora’s wrists. “I… I can explain-”

“Explain?” She angrily pulled her hands away from his. “Explain WHAT? That you finally realize that you love her?”

“What?” Yifan’s eyebrows shot up. “No. I was just- I was-”

“I’m so pathetic!” Yoora’s eyes zeroed down on the ground as she hiccupped a sob. “I can see the look in your eyes every time you see her, but I still can’t stop myself from falling for you!” She lifted her head and looked at him in the eyes. “And you’re so stupid for not realizing it.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Are you that stupid? Don’t tell me you don’t feel anything for her!”

Yifan lowered his head. He didn’t know how to respond. Suddenly, he felt her hands cupping his face and lifting it up.

“You asked me to be your girlfriend,” Yoora told him with sad eyes and brokenness in her voice. “I’ve fallen for you.” Her voice quivered. “Can’t you at least be responsible for that and try to love me back?”

For days Yifan mulled over Yoora’s words whilst also avoiding Yeojin. He just couldn’t see Yeojin yet. He didn’t know what to say to her. He didn’t know what else he would feel if he met her. He regretted the kiss, but he couldn’t take it out of his mind. He, thus, tried to focus more on Yoora this time round to get his mind off Yeojin.

Weeks passed and Yifan realized that what he was doing wasn’t going to work. He started missing Yeojin, and he knew he missed her not as a brother does to his sister. He couldn’t feel what he felt for Yeojin with Yoora. He just realized that Yoora was right. He liked Yeojin, and he liked her more than a friend.

Yifan understood that it wouldn’t be fair for Yoora if he kept on shackling her to him when he knew his heart would never be for her. Yoora was too good of a girl for him to hurt even more. Knowing the consequences, he ended it with her and went to look for Yeojin again. But he realized he was too late.

When he settled things with Yeojin, she always talked about this guy she met at the new café and bookstore. She talked about him too often to the point where Yifan just had enough. He came to hate the guy he didn’t know well. And he came to hate her for not even considering the kiss they shared once. He figured it was better to treat her coldly the way she had given a cold shoulder to what they could have been.

 


 

“Yeojin!!” Kris knocked on the bedroom’s door. “I need to shower!”

“Yeah, yeah! Wait!” Yeojin shouted from the other side. “I’m changing!”

In truth, she was already in her clothes and was now pacing around the room. A hand was on her hip while another hand was cupping her chin. “Oh god! How should I face him?” She muttered. “Great Morning!” She practiced what to say, but then she shook her head. “What the hell, Yeojin.” She cleared . “Hey! Morning! How’s your sleep?” She acted bright. “No, no! That’s weird!” She shook her head.

Kris knocked on the door again. “Jin!”

Yeojin bit down her lip. Screw it! She strode to the door and took a deep breath before opening it. The floor suddenly became an interesting thing to look at, as she didn’t dare to look up to him.

Kris’ fist was hung mid-air because he was going to knock on the door again just when she opened it. He retrieved his hand to rubbed the nape of his neck. “Hey,” he greeted awkwardly.

“Hey,” she greeted back in a small voice. “You can shower now.” She opened the door wider to let him in. “I’ll go have breakfast.” She quickly walked past him.

 

 

The air over them couldn’t get any more awkward. Only the sounds of spoons lightly hitting against the bowls, as they ate their cereals, could be heard. None of them had the courage to open a conversation. They knew what was weighing their minds because they both were thinking of the same thing. What did last night mean to their relationship now?

Kris couldn’t take the awkward silence anymore. He cleared his throat but didn’t dare to raise his gaze to her. “About last night…” His throat suddenly felt dry. “I’m sorry, I was- I shouldn’t have-” But she kissed me back. He raised his head to look at her. “Why did you kis-”

“Stop!” Yeojin put up a hand and momentarily closed her eyes to take a breath. “Let’s settle this once and for all. What happened last night- We… We were just- we were- caught in the moment. And we were drunk. We were drunk on sodas and I was just a hormonal teenage girl curious of how it felt to kiss a guy. And that’s it! Full stop! Nothing happened! End of story!” She rambled. Her words sounded silly even to her, but she didn’t want to think about it any other way.

“But-”

“Let’s not talk about it again.” She put in a spoon of cereal to . “Please.” She added with pleading eyes.

Kris sighed. “Alright. Drunk on sodas. Caught in the moment. Curious teenage girl. Got it.” He nodded before eating his cereal.

Silence ensued again but was quickly broken by their sudden snorts and burst of laughter at how absurd the excuse sounded. It was awkward, but they smiled at each other. Although, they still couldn’t look at each other in the eyes for too long.

“How are the beauties?” Yeojin suddenly asked, hiding a grin.

“Huh?”

She rolled her eyes. “Thor, Captain America, Iron Ma-”

“Shut it!” Kris glared, understanding what she meant. Yeojin just laughed. Seeing that, he smiled along. “Wanna go to the mall later?” He suddenly suggested.

Yeojin was taken aback. She thought about how awkward it would be, but she soon smiled. “Okay.” At least what happened last night doesn’t change us now.

 


 

“I sure hope we could do this again some other time, Vice Chairman.” The man with thick moustache shook the taller man’s hand.

“Sure. A little golf session once in awhile wouldn’t hurt,” Park Changsun replied with laughter.

“Very well then, sir.” He turned to the younger man beside the vice chairman. “It’s nice meeting you, Chanyeol.”

Chanyeol only bobbed his head. A few more small talks and greetings later, the moustache man left.

“What an -er!” Crossing his arms, Chanyeol scoffed and rolled his eyes.

Changsun smirked and patted his son’s shoulder. “We need more like him for us to succeed. He’s on our side.”

“You mean for you to succeed?” Chanyeol arched a brow

“Watch your tongue!” His father glared.

Chanyeol sighed in frustration. “I heard more are still on Hyung’s side.”

“‘Hyung’?” Changsun scoffed to the side. “Why are you still referring to him as that? He’s not even your friend anymore.” He shook his head in pity. “You are weak!” He walked ahead.

His father’s word pricked Chanyeol’s heart. He balled his hands into fists to hold in his surging anger. He took a moment to calm himself down before following his old man behind.

He fell into steps beside his father and gritted his teeth. “What makes you think we- you can succeed, Dad? This is pointless! How many times do I have to tell you that Noona doesn’t even think of him anymore?”

Changsun immediately came to a stop and angrily turned to his son. “I’m not doing this only for your sister! This is also for your late mother!”

Chanyeol blinked surprised. “What does Mom have to do with all this?”

He could see his father’s jaw tightened at that. He couldn’t understand it. Why was his mom suddenly became the reason for this non-sense plan?

“Sir.” Changsun’s personal assistant interrupted them.

Changsun nodded for him to continue.

“He’s here, Sir.”

Changsun looked over his assistant’s shoulder and saw his private detective. He walked up to him with a confused Chanyeol following behind. “Do you find anything new?” The detective looked hesitant when he saw Chanyeol, and Changsun saw him looking at his son. “It’s okay. He’s my son.”

“Oh.” The detective nodded and handed him a brown envelope, which Changsun immediately opened. “This may not be really important. But I think you should know. They’re seen together often lately.”

Changsun took out photos from the envelope and looked through them one by one. A smirked curled on his lips. “Oh it is important!” He looked back at the photos of Kris and Yeojin at a convenience store and at a mall. “Well, well, well. He’s warming up to her, I see,” Changsun mused.

Curiously, Chanyeol peered from behind. His eyes were rounded in surprise when he saw the photos. “You’re spying on them?”

Changsun scoffed and nodded for the detective to leave before turning to his son. “Not necessarily them. But her.”

“Yeojin?” Chanyeol’s eyes rounded even more. “Why are you dragging her into this?”

His father chuckled dryly. “She’s his wife. That’s why.” He walked ahead to the car that his assistant had prepared. “And she is the start of all this and the key to finishing everything.”

Chanyeol groaned. “This is supposed to only be business matter, Dad! You shouldn’t drag his family into this! You shouldn’t drag Yeojin into this!”

Changsun angrily whipped around toward his son. “Family is why I’m doing this for! Family is what keeps more of the board directors on his side!” He gritted his teeth. “His own little family- his wife will be his fall!”

“That is ridiculous!” Chanyeol couldn’t help but to spat.

“Watch your tongue! I am still your father!” He then firmly placed a hand on Chanyeol’s shoulder and leaned close to his ears to whisper. “If you dare side with them, I’ll send you away again.” He turned around and got inside the car, closing its door.

Changsun’s assistant bobbed his head to the younger guy. “Your car is prepared too, sir.” He told him before entering Changsun’s car.

Chanyeol watched the car drove away before heaving out a frustrated sigh. Oh how bad he wanted to be sent away instead. But he wanted to stay close to what’s left of his family. To his sister. As much as he hated his father, he wanted to change his father. He wanted to save this family for his mom, and he couldn’t do that if her were to be sent away again. He had to roll with his father’s plan for now and see where it would lead. This was the only way to know his father’s plan and to keep him from ruining someone else’s family.

 


WOW! Just wow! 500+ subsscribers?!

Thank you, guys! You guys are insane! Hahaha. Seriously though, THANK YOU! Flying kisses and virtual hugs to all! Thank you, constant commenters and upvoters too! Would've probably given up on this story without you all :)

Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!
Exo880408
190506 ICE: Chapter 72 updated!

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
krisxoxo23
#1
Chapter 82: Missed the story, been few years already, hoping there'll be an update 😭😭😭
Emily345 #2
Chapter 82: Ohh how I miss this story... ?
Will you be updating again ??
2407briana #3
Chapter 82: Whoa whoa whoa I was not prepared for that
mznary #4
Chapter 82: WHAT?!! NOOOO NOO! Yifannnnn!!
miyoonji #5
Chapter 82: So, who is Yeojin going to choose?
tutialawiyah #6
Chapter 82: I was thinking Kris want to step down from his position to protect Yeojin. But what now? Is he seriously wanna give up on everything?? Cmon, atleast you should have one whether it's yeojin or your company T.T
gogogirl26 #7
Chapter 82: Aishhhh.. kris :(
chichiba #8
Chapter 82: Kris is ready to let Yeojin go... im sad?
chonanay
#9
Chapter 82: :'((
Shinhye-ssi
#10
Chapter 82: Are they breaking up?