Jongwoon went back to his loft with anger, didn’t know it was there for what Sungmin said or because he acknowledged that Ryeowook up until that day still couldn’t open his heart for him. he threw away the leather jacket on the couch then he stared the door of his bedroom. it was still the same like the moment he left couple hours ago but he heard no one in tears again. he must be sleeping by now, he told to his mind and grabbed a pack of cigarettes on the oval table next to the lamp. He it deeply as he wanted to forget what just happened 40 minutes ago.

you, Lee Sungmin! should I tell Ryeowook about you? but he never believes in me… I already told him about Park Jungsoo but he doesn’t listen.. what if I told about his close friend? He must be thinking that I’m crazy… God! what exactly should I do now? he’s getting further from me..

he was about to take the fourth cigarettes when he heard someone talked behind where he sat.

“why are you smoking, Jongwoon? I never think you could smoke… something happened?”

Jongwoon blinked, tears fell on both of his eyes but he didn’t want Ryeowook to find out about it.

“nope…everything’s fine.. why? why you think something is happening when you see me smoking?”

“hmmm… because you never smoke before.. and why don’t you turn on the lights? It’s too dark..”

Jongwoon swore he cursed inside when Ryeowook the lights and it made the other guy noticed his tears before he walked closer. “are you crying, Jongwoon? [sat next to Jongwoon] what’s wrong? can you tell me?”

Jongwoon knew that he would regret his action to Ryeowook when he yelled at him under the alcohol he drunk on the club.

“why do you care? huh? you never tell me what happened in your life.. why should I tell you what happen in mine? [sobbed] don’t you think I don’t know why you were crying a while ago… so what I told you million times became reality? and you still want to deny it? because your love to him is bigger than your brain?”

“Jongwoon… what’s wrong with you? why are you so angry in sudden? I just want to ask you why… but why are you like this? [Ryeowook started to cry] and yes… I saw with my own eyes what Mr. Jungsoo did yesterday.. but… but I never think to deny it again.. it’s just… [sobbed] it’s just…”

“just what? are you still hard to accept the fact that he’s an ?”

“and you’re not?”

“what is the connection between him and me, Ryeowook?”

“you’re just as jerk as he is… but you keep insulting him just because I like him.. [sobbed] he understands me, Jongwoon…”

“I’m jerk like him? well listen! [grabbed Ryeowook’s shirt] I never my students until some of them become crazy and traumatic! I… [released Ryeowook] I don’t want to see you tonight… just go back to sleep…”

“but…”

“please go… I don’t want to you for the second time, Ryeowook… please…”

Jongwoon didn’t know why but as soon as Ryeowook walked back to the bedroom, he felt he finally lost Ryeowook…

♥ Y E W O O K ♥ Y E W O O K ♥ Y E W O O K ♥ Y E W O O K ♥ Y E W O O K ♥ Y E W O O K ♥

Their relationship was getting worse than ever as the couple became like strangers and Jongwoon allowed Ryeowook to go back home even he didn’t mind either when his boyfriend came back to the loft. He was also happy when everyone told him that Ryeowook got the second best score on Hyundai High School before he planned to enter Kyunghee University too. He watched from a far when Ryeowook talked to Sungmin and both of them laughed. He always adored how Ryeowook laughed cause when it happened, there was a spark inside his heart that he couldn’t explain and he loved the feeling of it.

When the graduation night came and the prom was being held at the same place a year ago, Jongwoon didn’t come as Ryeowook’s date. Jongwoon told his boyfriend that he was being called by his dad and he had to go around downtown Seoul to meet him so he might be missed the prom. He made a plan with Siwon and Donghae cause he knew what would happen when he wasn’t around with everyone was too busy with their own business. He told his guards not to follow Ryeowook and he also asked his juniors to not disturbing his man for that prom night so Ryeowook would feel that he was being off guard. Jongwoon only wanted to know that he already left his imprint on Ryeowook’s heart and proved what Sungmin told him wasn’t true. Jongwoon wanted to believe that the man who always shared the intimacy with him was thinking about him when he and reached satisfaction. He wanted to be sure that he was the only person Ryeowook think at school or before the night covered the earth cause their relationship would reach 3 years when October came.

So there Ryeowook was, standing among the crowd, wishing he was somewhere else far from the prom night. he walked around the hall, wasting time that would be his last on the high school that turned him to be a stronger man and also someone who had been taken care so much. he, wanted it or not, loved the feeling being guarded by Jongwoon in his last year cause he felt like he was in safe situation. No one was brave enough to disturb him and some of his friends gave him attentions that he didn’t want at all.

But being alone without some people around him, was also something he was waiting for almost a year and it feels like he got some fresh air. He looked around and he found someone he avoided since a week before national exam until prom night, appeared before his eyes.

“hi Ryeowook…”

“oh… hi Mr. Jungsoo… [smiled awkwardly]  nice to meet you here…”

“just like that? nothing for our farewell?”

“what do you mean? I don’t understand what you mean..”

“you’re going to out soon… don’t you want to give me something to remembered?”

“what do you want?”

“let’s talk first somewhere quiet.. do you want it?”

“but it’s hot outside.. don’t you think it’s better here.. there are so many fans and fresh air here.. beside.. I want to see my friends dancing to others..”

“but I want to be with you, Ryeowook… don’t you want to be with me?”

“why are you in sudden want to be with me? you are with many students, sir… you’re lying to me.. you said you only care to me.. but what? you had with Sungmin..”

“it’s because Sungmin said he can give me something that you couldn’t give to me…”

“but you knew it’s because Jongwoon.. you know I like you.. I even told you..”

“then why you couldn’t break Jongwoon’s guards?”

“something happen between him and me.. I can’t just get rid of him off me… but why you with everyone else?”

“I can’t live without boys, Ryeowook.. I like touching them…”

“you’re the one who sick all this time! God! I thought Jongwoon said lies so he can be with me.. but you’re sick! I hate you!”

“Ryeowook… please…”

“no! don’t touch me! don’t you ever touch me! I regretted that I ever your … you told me that I will be the only one.. you were being too care.. but you did it to someone else..”

“no.. please listen to me.. let’s talk outside.. please… I’m begging you.. let’s talk outside..”

Ryeowook didn’t know what possessed him but he followed his teacher outside the hall, without knowing that someone was recording everything and he was in a great smirk.

♥ Y E W O O K ♥ Y E W O O K ♥ Y E W O O K ♥ Y E W O O K ♥ Y E W O O K ♥ Y E W O O K ♥

“hi Jongwoon… looking for your boyfriend, I guess…”

“don’t disturb me, Sungmin-ah.. I don’t want to see you tonight.. just get lost, okay?”

“but I know where your boyfriend is… he’s with his long crush… I told you he won’t fall for you cause he always love his teacher.. beside.. Mr. Park has a big .. every student likes him..”

“you call him Mr. Park? [laughed evilly] such an evil he is… God.. everyone is blinded by his charms… he’s a e! God.. he’s disgusting!”

“but it’s normal around here, right? everyone knows that… at least every student has their first moment with a guy here… whether we’ll end up with girls or not..”

“you’re disgusting, Sungmin-ah…”

“but you are too, hyungnim.. did you forget what you used to do when you were in your first year? you asked some people to you.. you ed them too.. you’re not so different with Mr. Park..”

“I’m not a teacher and… it wasn’t me who want it.. it was seniors… they asked me to please them.. it’s not what I want..”

“wow… you must have a bigger than Mr. Park! Can I please taste it, hyungnim?”

“ you! I won’t touch you.. in this life or another life…”

“you will be… I think it would be a great scandal if I let everyone knows that a son of Oil And Gas president loves to have his on everyone’s hole?”

“I’m going to kill you if you do that! trust me I will!”

Smirked, Sungmin walked further from Jongwoon while he shout to him. “Ryeowook is walking to the warehouses with Mr. Park… in case you want to find him before it’s too late..”

Ryeowook was melting when his hands were being held tightly by Jungsoo and he was shaking cause the feeling inside his heart was mixing with what he had when he was being around Jongwoon. He stared at the man who had dimples that used to drive him crazy a while ago but he didn’t feel the same way again. he didn’t realize when it started but he knew he got use to Jongwoon’s existence after years passed and he always spent his days with him.

“I don’t think we should do this, Mr. Jungsoo… this is wrong.. I’m having relationship with Jongwoon..”

“but you said you don’t love him, right? why in sudden you change your words?”

“I… [confused] I don’t know what’s happen to me.. I… just think I don’t want to make Jongwoon angry..”

“then it’s not love.. you’re afraid of him. that’s the reason.. you don’t love him.. trust me..”

“what should I do then? [looked around] this is wrong..”

“you said you like me… I do like you.. until now I’m still waiting for my chance to taste you. don’t you want to give me yours?”

“but… that’s before I’m with Jongwoon… I don’t know what I feel to Jongwoon but he’s nice when he’s with me…”

“then it’s just a guilty feeling.. right? come on.. don’t you want to kiss me again?”

“bu… but…”

Ryeowook couldn’t continue his words when he was being pulled closer to Jungsoo and locked the lips on his but he was in doubt whether he should return the kiss or not. He didn’t even know there was someone who saw everything with tears on his sad eyes, couldn’t believe that this was happening right in front of him after all this time he believed that Ryeowook at least had a little feeling for him. yes… Ryeowook didn’t know that Jongwoon was standing few meters and noticed what happened after Sungmin told him where his boyfriend was.

♥ Y E W O O K ♥ Y E W O O K ♥ Y E W O O K ♥ Y E W O O K ♥ Y E W O O K ♥ Y E W O O K ♥

Ryeowook came back to the loft around 10 PM, didn’t wait the prom to be over after he got kissed by Jungsoo and felt nothing. He couldn’t believe himself for being change too fast or is it because he already got use to Jongwoon with all the bad and good. He looked around but he didn’t see Siwon, Donghae or even Jongwoon who said he had to go to central of Seoul just to have a short meeting with his dad.

maybe he hasn’t comeback yet… aaaah.. why in sudden I think about him? is it true that I love him? NO! maybe what Mr. Jungsoo said is right.. I just feel that it’s not good to reply his attention with a bad mood.. or perhaps because he keeps me around him closer everyday, so I keep seeing him beside me? God!! I’m so confuse with what I’m feeling right now… I think I need to talk to someone… can I call Sungmin?

He looked at the clock and it was still around 10.30 PM, so he decided to make a call, wishing that his friend would accept his call. He put it on loudspeaker cause he wanted to lay down on the couch.

“Ryeowook? why you call me? where are you? I’m still at school..”

“I’m home already… why you’re still at school?”

“why? it’s our party, Ryeowook-ah.. of course we have to stay until it’s done.. I got some asses.. have you taste someone to do the farewell?”

“no… I’m in a relationship with Jongwoon, Sungmin-ah.. I can’t do that, right?”

“why you keep saying you’re in a relationship when you don’t love him? I keep asking you about your intimacies.. and you said you two always do it..”

“because we always do … I’m honest to you, Sungmin-ah…”

“then how could you do it without feeling? I mean if you play to everyone.. there won’t be any feeling at all.. but you do it with the same person and it’s over two years.. almost three years as I recall..”

“I don’t know.. I’m so confuse… I kissed Mr. Jungsoo this night.. but I don’t feel the electrifying feeling anymore.. what is wrong with me?”

“you’re just confuse.. I know you are.. you won’t have feeling to Jongwoon cause he does bad things to you. he even put you in a gold cage so you won’t escape, right? he gives you all he could to protect you from anyone.. it’s not love.. it’s an obsession.. what you guys have isn’t something healthy..”

“then what should I do? I don’t know what to do.. I want to escape from here.. I don’t want to be here anymore..”

“then why don’t you just go? you can go right?”

“I don’t know… dad wants me to be here… I’m stuck in here too cause I feel like it’s my home now…”

“no.. it’s not.. you’re just getting use to cause you live in that circumstances for almost three years.. don’t be a soft man, Ryeowook-ah… you should be brave to make a decision… now I’m asking you.. do you like him or not? do you have any feeling to Jongwoon or not?”

Ryeowook took some times before he sighed and answered, “I don’t know… I still don’t know..”

“be brave… put everything aside… do you like him or not? do you still hate feeling inside you?”

“I do.. I still hate him and I believe I won’t like him.. but he’s nice..”

“nice isn’t a feeling for relationship, Ryeowook-ah… does he make you see stars when he’s around? does he give you sparks when he closes to you? does Jongwoon make you feel like when you’re waiting Mr. Park?”

Sighed, Ryeowook needed time to answer everything but he remembered it clearly and simply answered, “no…”

“then you don’t love him.. why don’t you talk to Jongwoon tomorrow and said you can’t continue any of this… can you do that?”

“I… don’t know… I will try but I’m not sure I can do it tomorrow…”

“well… the sooner the better I guess.. don’t you want to free from Jongwoon?”

“I desperately want that, Sungmin-ah… I…”

Jongwoon cried silently behind the couch when he heard what Ryeowook said. He couldn’t believe that Ryeowook never had a single feeling on his heart for him. he sighed, looked at the floor with tears that kept running from his eyes, staring at Ryeowook one last time before he went to the bedroom and lay his body on the bed. He didn’t want to hear any words again… he only wanted to be alone and he was still crying…

oooo… since when Jongwoon is here? I didn’t see anyone when I go to the room.. is he just comeback? but why he didn’t disturb me like usual? or perhaps he didn’t see me at the middle room? he didn’t listen to what I said to Sungmin, right?

shook his head, Ryeowook believed he was alone when he talked to Sungmin. no! perhaps he’s too tired and then he falls asleep..

♥ Y E W O O K ♥ Y E W O O K ♥ Y E W O O K ♥ Y E W O O K ♥ Y E W O O K ♥ Y E W O O K ♥

“are you sure about this, Jongwoon?”

“don’t talk too loud, Donghae-ah… I don’t want to wake up Ryeowook.. he’s already miserable with me inside his days.. this is for the best… I will be the one who leave.. I him, guys.. I never thought that I will fall for him.. I thought… he was just another person I’d like to play.. but.. [sighed] I fall.. too deep.. I tried my best to keep him safe but he likes his first crush so much until he couldn’t think straight about that bastard Jungsoo..”

“why don’t you let him know the truth? Why don’t you tell Ryeowook about what that did to Kyuhyun?”

“because it will hurt him.. I’m sure if I can leave a little feeling on his heart.. one day I will brave enough to tell him.. but… [sobbed] he loves him too much.. I even saw them were kissing to each other on prom.. it’s hurting… I never have in a relationship before.. once I’m serious with someone.. I can’t even keep him beside me.. to love me.. he said it’s hard to be by my side.. I think I should be the one who leave here…”

Stood up, Siwon walked closer and hugged Jongwoon tightly. “I’ll go with you.. Donghae.. you stay around.. you said your dad isn’t in a good health.. stay close to him, okay? I’ll be back with Jongwoon…”

“promise me you won’t forget me, guys…”

“we won’t.. beside… I will go with Jongwoon also to visit Kyuhyun.. I miss him.. I want to see his smile again..”

“you really keep the feeling hidden under your charm, Siwon-ah.”

“it’s because I can’t get you, Donghae-ah.. I thought you’re just having fun with that junior.. but… who’s his name?”

“Lee Hyukjae… I will let him go. since he has no interest of being in a relationship with a guy anymore..”

“you let him go? [Donghae nodded] why? just like that? thanks God, I don’t date you, Donghae-ah..”

“you’re stuck with the memory of Kyuhyun… do you think he’ll recognize you once you see him?”

Siwon looked at Jongwoon who already prepared himself with a small bag on his hand.. “I’m ready… are you ready, Siwon?”

“oh… okay… I will go with you.. Donghae… let us know if something happens, okay?”

“don’t worry…”

Jongwoon stared at his friends, smiled and said, “I’ll change my number… don’t tell Ryeowook… and fix this..” he handed some small papers like payment proves.

“what is it, Jongwoon-ah?”

“it’s an event I want to do on my birthday… but… it won’t happen again, I guess…”

In seconds, Donghae understood what Jongwoon meant by the event and he covered his lips with hand.

“oh my God, Kim Jongwoon… you really love him that much?”

Jongwoon smiled bitterly, turned around and fixed his eyes to Siwon. “let’s go… I don’t want Ryeowook finds me when he wakes up…”

“we’ll see you soon, Donghae-ah.. take care, okay?”

They were hugging each other and Jongwoon still couldn’t stop the tears from his eyes. He had to leave for the sake of Ryeowook who already said that he was living miserably next to him. he sighed, looked at the loft for the last time before he went in to Siwon’s car and both of them disappeared into the dark.

♥ Y E W O O K ♥ Y E W O O K ♥ Y E W O O K ♥ Y E W O O K ♥ Y E W O O K ♥ Y E W O O K ♥

Ryeowook woke up on August 22nd, when the sun slipped through the curtain and fell into his face. he stretched, yawned and seized the room, found Jongwoon wasn’t on his bed. He surprised, immediately watched the clock on the wall and found out that it was just 7.30 AM.

Jongwoon never wakes up early… except if he has class or something.. why he wakes up early today?

He found Donghae was sitting at the porch, reading the newspaper with orange juice on the table. Ryeowook walked out, standing by the door with his messy hair and asked the only living creature he found in the loft.

“hyung… where’s Jongwoon? do you see him? I saw him last night on bed but I didn’t see him this morning..”

Without leaving the newspaper he read, Donghae answered the question lightly. “really? are you sure he was Jongwoon?”

“mmm? but I believed he was Jongwoon..  I knew his messy hair..”

“I don’t think he’s back from central yet.. you must be dreaming after found something nice at prom..”

Ryeowook gasped, remembered what he did at the prom and he wasn’t proud of it so much. he wanted to walk out with Jongwoon that day but he didn’t find him yet.

“I’ll try to call him then… hope I can find him..”

“don’t bother.. why you in sudden want to talk to him? you seem to live in your own world while Jongwoon was around.”

“I don’t know.. I’m confuse, hyung.. I talked to Sungmin last night and…”

“you talked to Sungmin? he wants you to leave Jongwoon, I guess.. am I right?”

“huh? how do you know that he said bad things against Jongwoon?”

“I don’t know you’re too innocent or too stupid.. Jongwoon keeps saying you’re an innocent one but I think you more ignorant.. you don’t know a thing about Jongwoon right? [Ryeowook stayed silence] do you even know the reason why he hates your first love?”

“Mr. Jungsoo isn’t my first love… how many times I should tell you about it? he was my first kiss and the first man who asked me to give him a .. but that doesn’t mean he is my first love.. why you all keep saying that?”

Donghae, who saw Ryeowook was crying, decided to attack him even more and didn’t give a chance to breathe normally.

“if he’s not your first… you won’t waste a very good man and keep thinking of someone else when you have everything in front of you.. everyone wants him, Ryeowook-ah… but you! gosh! even your good friend, Lee Sungmin, does many things just to attract his attention.. you have him but you throw him away…”

“what? Sungmin? Sungmin likes Jongwoon? he said he hates him.. he… [sobbed] he…”

“he copied everything you do.. from your habit until your look… he even threw his body to Jongwoon but many times Jongwoon rejected that .. he swore he wants to stay loyal to you… but what you give in return? You’re hurting him..”

“but he me, hyung.. he hurts me too.. he… God.. Sungmin? I can’t believe it..”

“he you because he hates when he found you Jungsoo’s ball. He was totally angry… your wonderful man forced his cousin, Kyuhyun, to fulfill his lust many times.. that’s why he hates Jungsoo.. he swore when the right time comes, he’ll make Jungsoo pay everything.. now.. his cousin is still under treatment for handling his traumatic.”

Ryeowook covered his mouth, couldn’t believe what he heard from Donghae with his tears ran on his soft cheeks.

“is that true? Oh God… oh my God… how could he did something bad like that? and why Jongwoon never tell me that? at least I won’t give my first to him..”

“your first? your first is not Jongwoon?”

“no.. I mean my first experience with a guy.. Jongwoon was the one who took my ity but…”

“if you hate him that much… you won’t enjoy your intimacies so much.. but you always moan when you’re with him.. I heard you.. Siwon heard you.. don’t tell me you’re not satisfied all this time…”

Ryeowook cornered by the fact that just floored by Donghae cause until that day he hadn’t realize what he got so far and slowly he replied, “I do enjoy his touches…”

♥ Y E W O O K ♥ Y E W O O K ♥ Y E W O O K ♥ Y E W O O K ♥ Y E W O O K ♥ Y E W O O K ♥

Donghae ignored Ryeowook totally for the next two days and it was a bright Sunday, where he always made a sudden party for Jongwoon with Siwon and did stupid things together. He smiled but it disappeared when he saw Jongwoon’s boyfriend asked him to have breakfast together.

“I’m not hungry.. you can eat first.. I already had juice earlier..”

“but it’s ten thirty hyung.. don’t you think it’s the right time to have breakfast?”

“just go eat first.. I’ll eat when I’m hungry..”

“okay then..”

Ryeowook was about to go back to the dining table when he heard the bell rang in front of the loft’s door. He stared at Donghae who allowed him to open the door. He nodded, walked to the door and opened it. he found three men with papers on their hands.

“may I help you?”

“we’re here to meet Mr. Jongwoon.. is he here?”

“oh… he hasn’t back from central, maybe later.. I can accept his stuffs.. I’m his roommate.. [turned to face inside] Donghae hyung… Jongwoon got things…”

Donghae walked to the door, saw the papers and handed them back to the delivery men. without even looked at them, Donghae said it coldly, “you can deliver the foods to children hospital or orphans… we don’t need them here.. there won’t be any party today..”

“party? What party, hyung?”

Donghae wanted to reply but one of the men asked him first, cut the chance for him to answer Ryeowook’s question.

“what about the ring? Should I give them to the hospital?”

Donghae looked at him and smiled, “give it to him.. he’s the one who should accept it today… while you and you… [pointed to the other two] you can go to the hospital or orphans.. give the foods to them..”

Donghae slammed the door in hard way cause he was so pissed remembering what Ryeowook did to Jongwoon. he went to his room faster and went out with a big bag on his back.

“hyung.. what party that should be held today? and why you give this ring to me?”

“really, Ryeowook? gosh! you’re disgust me! you’re dating Jongwoon for almost three years but you don’t know when his birthday is? ckckckck… you are the… [held himself] I still don’t know why Jongwoon likes you.. what he sees in you.. you don’t even see how sincere he is ever since he made decision to stay with you only… [held the box on Ryeowook’s hand] and this! Jongwoon planned to ask you to marry him today..but… he heard everything you said last night.. he even knew you kissed