TWO:

I'M PREGNANT

Hanbin was avoiding him, Jiwon was sure of it. When Jiwon laid down beside Hanbin that afternoon, he wasn’t there when Jiwon woke up. He sat the farthest from Jiwon when they were in the living room watching a drama and didn’t speak to him during dinner other than the occasional “yes or no” when he was asked a question. Jiwon didn’t want to pry too much, he had done what he could do to try to make Hanbin talk to him. He tried to sit next to him, ask him all sorts of questions but Hanbin still wouldn’t really engage a full conversation with him so Jiwon decided he would just wait. He was a bit hurt the other wouldn’t say anything but he can’t really do anything about it. Jiwon slept that night wondering if he did something to upset the younger.

When Jiwon woke up the next day, he found Hanbin’s bed empty. Jiwon looked at his side table and the clock read 5:45 am. Wondering where Hanbin would be at this time, he got up and went out of the room to search for him. Jiwon wasn’t sure why Hanbin would be up at this hour, it was too early for practice so where was he? Jiwon saw that the light on the bathroom was on so he went there only to see Hanbin hunched over the toilet.

Jiwon heaved out a sigh and went beside Hanbin to rub soothing circles on his back. Hanbin didn’t react, he was too busy puking his guts out to notice who it was. Jiwon noticed that Hanbin had been vomiting a lot lately and it’s making him worry, he never tells him when there’s something wrong and that makes Jiwon even more worried.

When Hanbin was finished, Jiwon immediately placed Hanbin in his arms, moving out the bangs that were covering Hanbin’s eyes. They stayed like that for a while,

“I hate this.” Hanbin said then he got up and brushed his teeth.

“Are you okay?” Jiwon asked and Hanbin nodded.
 

“Are you sure? You’ve been like this for a week already. Have you been to the doctor?” He added. Hanbin wanted to leave but he knew Jiwon wouldn’t allow him unless he gets an answer. Jiwon tried to talk to him all evening yesterday and he had avoided most of it. It wouldn’t take a while before Jiwon would demand an answer from him.

“Uh yeah I did…” Hanbin trailed off. He didn’t really want to look at Jiwon because he doesn’t want to see the look on Jiwon’s face and he doesn’t exactly know what’s running on Jiwon’s mind.

“What did the doctor say?” Jiwon asked and Hanbin’s breath hitched, he doesn’t know whether he should tell him now or make an alibi just to make Jiwon stop asking. But at the same time, Jiwon deserves to know but Hanbin’s scared.

“I’m fine, I did a blood test and I’m going to find out the result next week.” Hanbin replied, it wasn’t a lie because he really is going to find out if he’s really pregnant. But he’s pretty sure the pregnancy test is enough proof that he is though plus all the pregnancy symptoms he had been experiencing for weeks. Hanbin’s just not ready to tell him yet and he wishes Jiwon wouldn’t ask another question.

“What else?” No such luck. Hanbin wanted to just vanish. Hanbin closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Hanbin knows Jiwon’s staring at him through the mirror but he doesn’t really care at the moment and he doesn’t really want to see the confusion written on Jiwon’s face.

“And… I—uh... might be…” Hanbin wasn’t able to finish his sentence because a half asleep Junhoe was seen standing by the bathroom door.

“What are you guys doing?” Junhoe asked and Hanbin was thankful Junhoe came because he might have told Jiwon already and again, Jiwon deserves to know but he isn’t ready yet. He will tell him, soon.

“Hanbin hasn’t been feeling well so…” Jiwon trailed off. Hanbin was about to go out of the bathroom but he suddenly felt a huge wave of nausea so instead of finally being able to lie down on bed, he hunched over the toilet again.

“Uh, you might want to use the other bathroom.” Jiwon told Junhoe and Junhoe didn’t need to be told twice, he immediately left the two and went to the other bathroom near Chanwoo and Yunhyeong’s room.

Jiwon once again, was rubbing circles on Hanbin’s back. He’s hoping that whatever the blood results will be, it won’t be bad.

♤

Hanbin has been feeling well the rest of the morning. The morning sickness stopped so he was relieved, it was a Sunday and they don’t usually practice so Hanbin took the chance to go home. He wasn’t able to call his mother the other day so he decided to go home and visit to make it up to her and also to see his little sister, Hanbyul.

“I’m home!” Hanbin exclaimed and a few seconds after, he heard running and was met by an excited Hanbyul running towards him. Hanbyul jumped and Hanbin immediately caught her, holding her up to his waist.

“Oppa, I missed you.” The little girl said, laying her head down on his shoulder.

“Aw, I missed you too.” Hanbin said, ruffling Hanbyul’s hair and kissing her cheeks.

“Where’s omma?” He asked. Hanbyul then pointed at the kitchen and Hanbin saw his mother’s back facing the stove, cooking for lunch. His mother turned around and smiled, walking towards him,

“Aigoo, how is my son feeling?” His mother asked and Hanbin suddenly felt the need to cry. His mother acted like his son hadn’t walked out on her and left her in the clinic and he felt guilty for it.

“I’m sorry I left you in the clinic and for not calling you.” He said.

“It’s okay. I know what you’re feeling, just know that I’ll be always here for you okay?” His mother said, cupping Hanbin’s cheeks with both of her hands and Hanbin nodded. She patted Hanbin’s cheek and went back to cooking. Hanbin felt as if a heavy weight was lifted off his shoulders and he’s always grateful to have a mother like her.

“Aren’t you mad at me?” Hanbin said. It passed off almost as a whisper but his mother was able to catch it. She stopped cooking and looked at Hanbin who was silently sitting at the dining table. She sighed and turned off the stove and sat in front of him.

“Oh honey, how could I be mad? You’re my son.” She said, eyes glimmering of understanding. “Yes, we make mistakes Hanbin. But it’s here already, maybe I am a bit disappointed but what can we really do? We keep moving forward. What I just want you to do is to try to make things right. For yourself and your child, okay?” She added with a smile and Hanbin nodded in agreement.

Lunch came and they decided to catch up with the stories they haven’t told yet, with Hanbyul telling stories about how her day in the center went. Hanbin’s thoughts drifted back to his unborn child, Hanbyul is still young yet she’s going to be an Aunt after a few months. Thoughts of not being able to be a good father came in and he suddenly felt the anxiety of tomorrow, wishing a