THIRTEEN:

TENSE

When Hanbin woke up, he could feel the tension in the air when he went to the dining area. The others were already having breakfast and Hanbin noticed Yunhyeong and Donghyuk weren’t seated together like how they usually do.

“Oh hyung, good morning!” Chanwoo greeted. Hanbin smiled and sat down beside Jiwon. Hanbin gave him an “is-everything-okay” look but the older didn’t say anything. Hanbin looked at Yunhyeong and Donghyuk and he could see how sad they both look. Everyone was silent, even Junhoe who’s usually loud was just eating. Hanbin wanted to say something but he doesn’t really know what to say. It felt awkward to say something in a situation like this.

“So uh, hyung do we have practice today or recording…?” Junhoe trailed off. Hanbin looked at Donghyuk and he saw how the younger tensed when Junhoe asked, probably worried because he’s pregnant and not allowed to practice. Hanbin made a mental note to talk to him later.

“Well, not really. I can’t really go out in my state so recordings would be pushed back on a later date but you can practice tho.” Hanbin said and Junhoe nodded. Once again, silence engulfed them and Hanbin nudged Jiwon to do something.

“What?” Jiwon whispered.

“Say something.”

“What do you want me to say?”

“Anything.”

“Hyung, can I talk to you?” Hanbin and Jiwon stopped whispering and looked at Donghyuk. For a moment, Hanbin wanted to cry because obviously, everything that has happened has been taking a toll on Donghyuk. He has bags under his eyes and he was biting his lips out of nervousness.

“Okay, now? Do you want to talk now?” He asked and Donghyuk nodded. Hanbin stood up and looked at Jiwon, the older nodded before Hanbin motioned for Donghyuk to go first. Hanbin was able to get a glance of Yunhyeong and he could see the longing in the elder’s eyes.

 ♤

When they got inside Donghyuk and Jinhwan’s room, Donghyuk sat down playing with the strings of his jacket. Hanbin sat beside him and patted him on the knee,

“You know you can tell me anything.” He said and Donghyuk took a deep breath before speaking,

“I – I’m… I…” Hanbin could feel how scared Donghyuk was and he wanted to hug the latter but Hanbin wanted to hear it from Donghyuk. He wanted Donghyuk to admit not just to him but to himself that he’s pregnant and he isn’t just living for himself anymore.

Before Donghyuk could finish his sentence, he suddenly stood up and went out of the room. Hanbin followed him and saw Donghyuk hunched over the toilet. This was like a repeat five months ago, the difference was it’s now Donghyuk and not him. Hanbin rubbed his back comfortingly and when Donghyuk was finished, he washed his face and leaned on the sink.

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