SEVENTEEN:

SCARS

SINB

trigger waning: mention of cutting, suicide

Scars.

All Eunbi could see was the scars across her arms. Those faint pinkish red lines that reminds her she’s alive. Those faint pinkish red lines that are now slowly fading and all she wants is to make them fresh again, she wants to drag the blade through her skin again just to remind herself that she’s alive.

Why was she doing this? She isn’t sure anymore, she doesn’t know anymore. At first, it was to ease the heavy feeling she has in her chest, to let loose of all the insecurities she was feeling because for a moment, the pain of dragging a blade through her delicate skin makes all of it go away.

The first try ends up with another and another, and another, until it became a daily habit.

Rooftop.

The feeling of the wind gushing through her face makes her calm. Eunbi has a habit of letting people worry even if she doesn’t want them to.

When a friend saw her standing at the edge of the rooftop, her mother talked to her because apparently, her friend thought she was going to jump. But even if Eunbi has a lot of scars on her arms, even if she’s tired of living, jumping on a rooftop wasn’t on her “ways to die” list.

So, she assured her mom she wasn’t having suicidal thoughts, even if it was entirely the opposite.

“Hey, you’re here again.” Chanwoo said, sitting beside her on the edge. At first, Chanwoo was alarmed that a girl could casually sit at the edge of a high building but Eunbi never made a move to jump so Chanwoo let himself fall at ease when he’s with her.

“Another year is ending…” He started and Eunbi stared in front, looking at nothing in particular. “and I’m leaving.” He added.

As if all the insecurities and worries aren’t enough, that one person Eunbi loves the most has to leave. But she’s always good at letting people now that she’s alright, that she didn’t need to be saved so she looked at him and smiled. The kind of smile she wants him to remember.

“Take care of yourself. I heard the idol life could be hard but enjoy it too, I know you’ll go places.” She said.