Yoseob’s POV

“July 14, 2009. Cloudy.

 Dear diary,

                    I TOTALLY MISSED WRITING ON YOU!!! Guess what? I just came back from Kiki’s Thailand showcase! When he went onto the stage, the fans all screamed and cheered for him like when I saw Rain. Yeah, you can imagine that right? Only you knew how crazy I could be when I see my idol :D

Anyway, four of us were chosen to be back-up dancers that would follow him to Bangkok. He said he was glad that I was also chosen, since we had been classmates since high school and I knew him best. Well, sort of. At least I knew he didn’t like English lessons one bit. Kekeke.

Kiki shared a room with the guy who was best at free style dancing, Hyunseung.. Although we trained for long periods of time together, I did not know him well as we were from different cliques and we rarely hang out. All I knew was that he always looked really serious during dance practices. Pluses, he was stubborn, so much so that I couldn’t stand him and we got into a quarrel. But I lost bitterly ):

Back to the point. During the trip, we got closer. He told me he once appeared on the Big Bang Documentary on MTV but was eliminated in second last episode while vying for the last position as a BB member. I felt that it was a pity. He could have been so damn famous! And now he’s here, stuck with us, not knowing when he’ll debut ):

Hyunseung also mentioned that he suffered from depression ever since he was eliminated from BB. I felt really sad for him. Luckily he pulled himself together and joined us in Cube! :D Well, Doojoon, Junhyung and I shared a room. But I’ll tell you about it tomorrow. I just landed and I’m tired ):”

No. I am not crazy. I treated my diary as my best friend. I could tell ‘it’ anything and ‘it’ was a good listener which never questions me. I will stop writing entries. When I find another best friend.

“July 15, 2009. Rainy.

 Dear diary,

                    I’m back again! Promised I’d tell you about my temp room-mates yesterday, didn’t i? And I never break promises (: Junhyung, like his name suggests, he’s my hyung! HAHA! Anyway, this Junhyung was the one I told you about. He’s in my clique and I’ve told you about him before. :D He’s a 89-er, just like Doojoon and Hyunseung.

Oh yes! Did I mention us celebrating Doojoon’s birthday in Bangkok? His birthday falls on the 4th this month. He’s getting old! We kept teasing him on that and he keeps chasing us around our temporary practice room. Kekeke. It was fun, although we didn’t plan it as a surprise ^-^

Junhyung said it was a pity, because the showcase is on the 5th so we can’t drink. But I’m okay with it, since I can’t drink much – 1 can of beer can KO me. I’m a good boy, aren’t i? :D Doojoon was really nice. I kept apologizing that I couldn’t buy him a present because I didn’t have extra money and he reassured me by telling me it was okay and he didn’t mind. I guess he could understand my situation  since he himself had limited cash as a trainee too. I’m glad (:

We’re gonna have auditions soon. I’m so excited, nervous, scared, probably a mix of everything. I hope things would work out for me. I prepared a song. Since Daniel always comments that I’m better at vocals than dancing.. Practice was tougher than usual, since the audition dates are nearing. I’m tired. And scared ): The rain is making it worse. The pitter-patter makes me miss my mum. Can you understand? ): But after a storm comes a rainbow. I hope my rainbow comes to me quickly..”

I closed my diary, sighing. I dug my right hand into my black backpack and fished for my mp3. "BOO always cheers me up." After selecting the song, I saw the album cover and couldn't stop staring at it. IU was is so pretty, don't you think so?

“July 29, 2009. Sunny! (:

 Dear diary,

                   Hey, sorry to keep you lying around for the past week. I was too tired to write anything. Practice kept me busy ): But no. I ain’t stopping till I get what I want. Are you glad that I haven’t lose my determined self to the work load? Keke. Mummy sent me a letter. And I received it today :D Like finally! I was missing her and she wrote. We have undeniable mother-and-son telepathy. Kekeke. She mailed home-made kimchi to the company too. I shared it with my clique! And of course, the rest who went Bangkok with Kiki and me ^-^

Tomorrow is the day. I will ring Daniel and sing to him later to have him judge me. I could have sang for you too, but don’t you think singing to a book is crazy? Alright. I will come back for you tomorrow. If I did well..”

“July 30, 2009. Sunny! Well, not really. Sort of in the middle :x

 Dear diary,

                   Audition just ended. Barely made it through. I was so nervous I had breathing difficulties. Or maybe it was just a slight psychological effect. I had to put MIA on replay to calm myself down. This is not the first time I’m telling you that song is awesome right? I definitely did, I’ll check. *flips to read through previous entries*

Silly me. Of course I did. But I’ll say it again. MIA is awesome like IU. Kekeke. Oh where was I? Hmm..  We had the audition today. My song went well.. That is in my own opinion. But others did well too. So I’m not really confident ):

And there’s this guy, who sings and plays piano really well. I carried in the piano for him and told him ‘Dongwoon-ah, you have to do well! Since I brought you the piano’. The quiet and shy boy just nodded and thank me. He got lucky that his request of performing another song got approved. I was happy for him, but another part, just a small small part of me was scared. For myself.”

“July 31, 2009. Drizzling.

 Dear diary,

                    I’m writing in colour today! I hope you can feel the difference! :D Anyway, the same group of us will be going to Japan for Kiki’s showcase! Hope everything goes well for us! And I’m still worried about the auditions. What if I don’t make it through? Hmm.. I’ll have to ring Daniel again.. I won’t be back until next week. Don’t get chewed on by the guard dogs! Be safe. I’ll be back!”