How Am I Supposed To Live Without You?

Sunflower Girl

JINYOUNG'S POV

I had woken up the next morning to see that Myunghee was still asleep in my arms. I gingerly lifted her up and cradled her in my arms to tuck her in  her bed so she could sleep some more. I was supposed to go back to the dorm last night but... I didn't feel like leaving Myunghee alone... she had enough of that. I texted JB and my manager saying that I was going to spend time with Myunghee and Cheonsa for just today. Once I tucked her in, I just remained by her side, watching her sleep so peacefully. Then it reminded me of how she was going to look like this when she's in her coffin... except she'll look more peaceful. So I sat down by her bedside and held onto her hand tightly, thankful she was still fast asleep. Suddenly I felt tears rolling down my cheek yet I coudn't be bothered to wipe them away because I wanted to focus on her.

"Don't leave yet... Not yet, okay?" I said ever so softly as I continued crying.

"How am I supposed to live without you, Park Myunghee? How? Tell me how and just maybe... just maybe I'll be okay," I pleaded.

"Appa?"

I quickly wiped away my tears and stood up to see Cheonsa by the door, holding her yellow blanket close to her. I smiled brighly before running swiftly to her and sweeping her off her feet and into my arms. I closed the door behind me as I tickled her with kisses, making her giggle. (GOSH, THIS IMAGE IS MAKING ME FANGIRL ABOUT JINYOUNG EVENTHOUGH ITS NOT REAL LOL)

"Did you have a good sleep, my Angel?" I asked and she nodded with a yawn.

I was about to put her down when she started whining and holding me tighter. I straightened my back again and she calmed down.

"You want me to hold you?" I asked.

"Yes, Appa~" she said with a yawn.

Not able to stand her cuteness, I gave a smooch onto her chubby cheek making her giggle again.

"Aigoo~ This baby. Okay, lets cook together," I suggested and she smiled even brighter.

 

I woke up to the sound of giggles and the smell of eggs cooking from the kitchen which was right beside my room.

"You think Omma will like it?" I heard Jinyoung say as I came out of the room.

"Yes!" Cheonsa chirped as I stood behind the wall, popping my head out to see Jinyoung holding Cheonsa with one arm and using his free hand to attempt to cook an egg omelette.

"You think Appa can flip this?" Jinyoung asked, determined.

"Yes! Flip! Flip!" Cheonsa cheered on.

With his little cheerleader with him, he flipped the egg successfully and they both looked at one another with wide, surprised eyes.

"Like father, like daughter~" I said and they both turned to look at me.

They both smiled brightly, just warming my heart when they did so.

"Omma!" Cheonsa chirped as looked at me, showing her eye smile which looked like Jinyoung's.

"You're awake sleephead~" Jinyoung said cheekily as he plated the large omelette.

We had finished eating breakfast and I was getting Cheonsa ready for her preschool when suddenly Jinyoung placed his hand on my forehead. I looked up at him, confused.

"You're sweating but you're cold," he said seriously.

"It happens, Jinyoung," I said reassuringly.

"Myunghee---" Jinyoung said firmly but I cut him off.

"Okay, who's ready to learn?!" I exclaimed and Cheonsa looked up at me and held her hand up enthusiastically.

"ME!" she yelled at the top of her lungs.

 

JINYOUNG'S POV

As soon as Cheonsa skipped into her classroom and Myunghee and I went out, I brought back the issue.

"Don't think I forgot, Myunghee," I said seriously and she sighed in reply.

"What if something happens to you if you keep on being like this and I'm not around?" I argued.

"I'll be fine," she snapped at me.

"Yeah you say that but now look at what's happening," I said coldly.

She stopped and held onto my sleeve. I turned back to her and she glared at me.

"You think I want this, huh? You think I want you and Cheonsa to watch me die slowly? I'LL BE FINE," she snapped as she stormed off.

I ran to her and grabbed her wrist roughly, turning her to face me.

"AND YOU THINK I WANT TO SEE YOU LIKE THIS?! WHY DO YOU MAKE ME WORRY ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME?!" I yelled, realising too late that I was crying right in front of her.

She just stared into my eyes ever so innocently... and sadly.

"IF SOMETHING HAPPENS TO YOU THEN HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LIVE WITHOUT YOU?! HOW?!" I cried out.

I didn't bother looking around me as I knew people were taking pictures of the whole scene. Then Myunghee suddenly went on her tippy toes and wrapped her arms around my neck, resting her chin on my shoulders.

"... I'm sorry, Jinyoung. I'll go to the doctor, okay? Please don't cry because of me. I won't make you worry anymore. I'll visit the hospital everyday if I have to... just don't worry and cry over me. Instead when you think of me, I want you to smile, okay?" she said into my ear.

I closed my eyes tight and hugged her back, lifting her off the ground slightly.

 

AT NIGHT...

We were in the doctor's office while Myunghee and I, well I was reluctant but Cheonsa was in the hands of the rest of the GOT7 members which was frightening for me but Myunghee insisted on it since she said Cheonsa was in love with her noisy samchons. After a few minutes of waiting, a doctor came in with a file in his hands.

"Park Jinyoung and... Park Myunghee?" he asked and stood up and bowed respectfully to him.

"And you are?" I asked, since I couldn't see his name tag on his coat like other doctors.

"Ah... I'm Doctor Song. Please sit," he said as he gestured towards the chairs.

"You used to live in Tae-Baek as well?" Myunghee asked as she pointed at the picture of the sunflower field on his desk.

"Ah~ Yes but I moved to the city to pursue my career. I was aware that the both of you came from Tae-Baek as well and decided to do my best to help," he said kindly.

"Thank you so much," I said and he nodded with a smile.

"Um... So there are 2 solutions which are to take the tumor out or have chemotherapy. The file here says that surgery is too risky because the tumor is too deep so that is out of the question. Thus we are left with chemotherapy BUT the file also says here that with your body's state, your chances of Miss Park surviving through Chemotherapy is 20%," Doctor Song explained as he flipped through the pages of the file.

 

"I'll try Chemotherapy," I said and Jinyoung faced me.

"You heard what he said? 20%," he repeated.

"Well we don't have a choice. Besides 20% is still a chance," I said, hopeful.

"Wow. I've never seen so much spirit in a cancer patient before," Doctor Song said as he smiled at me.

"I guess its because I feel like I have so much to lose if I don't try," I replied as I looked at Jinyoung.

Like this story? Give it an Upvote!
Thank you!
Lilsloth
Sorry guys! No update today because I was out and busy! SO SORRY!

Comments

You must be logged in to comment
JYPFan113 #1
Chapter 25: This is very beautiful and your note at the end was very sweet ^^
Thank you for this wonderful story author-nim ^^
SHINee456 #2
Chapter 25: This story is so sad. I wanted Myunghee to live and be Jinyoung's wife!!! And this is a story that I will keep in my head for as long as I can remember!!!(I also cried so much in this story, Especially when everyone found out that she has cancer.) ^-^
Ati5aTHSVR #3
Chapter 25: The first time i cried for a story...
One of the best stories i found on this website
^^ nice job author nim !
parana37 #4
Chapter 25: It's one of the best story i've ever read...
NaNo_ARMY #5
Chapter 25: beautiful story~~ :)
vindyyo #6
Chapter 25: Awwwwwww you and your smart analysis.
Cheonsa grew up all well ! I belive , Myunghee is happy up there
SMentFan99 #7
Chapter 25: Love this story so much!!!! ^^
FallenDemon #8
Chapter 25: Atleast angel knows her mom on how Jr described her:))) I still love this story
keno17
#9
Chapter 25: Thank you authornim for finishing the story. It's one of the saddest but the also the best fanfiction I've read in this website.
EXObabyLUV #10
Chapter 25: This is a masterpiece.All of my emotions has been shown while i was reading this.Author-nim jjang! :))