FOURTEEN

Living your life knowing you are the reason why someone is suffering is hard. When you knew that you hurt someone so much you just can’t let yourself be happy too. You always feel that you don’t deserve anything. You always asked yourself if it’s okay to smile laugh and love. Even if you tried to be happy there this always empty feeling inside you. There’s this question running in your mind every time you smile. There’s a pain you feel every time you said that you are okay. And there this feeling that you can’t be loved and you shouldn’t love.

That’s how Kim Jinwoo spends his life. After that night when Seunghoon left him he can’t even lift his head. Tears started to flow each time he tries to tell what happened. His heart clench every time he remembered that night. All the guilt eat him up and he can’t let himself smile again. He can’t let himself love again. He closed his heart the same time Seunghoon

He buried his face in books, learning new things help him coop with the pain, with the lost. He wills himself to smile even though the others can tell that he is faking it. He laughed even though it’s not sincere.

Seunghoon left him there, crying and broken. He tried to run after him to beg for his forgiveness but his feet won’t move. He wanted to hug him back and tell him that they can start over again but he knew that it will be impossible. He wanted to stay by his side, be there when he is down, when he is hurt but the face of the man he learned to love flash on his mind and he stay still. Not uttering a word, not moving a step.

Song Mino, the man he love but he can’t have by his side. He ignored him; he stopped talking to him, putting a halt in whatever is between them. Mino doesn’t let him though. He keeps on coming to him, every day, every hour, every time he saw a chance to talk to him, to be with him. He can’t make himself happy and when he told him what he really want and feel he hurt him. He hurt another man again. He hurt someone again. Mino stopped talking to him. He stopped pestering him, asking him if he already got a meal, if he’s okay, if he is cold. He just watched him from afar, making sure that he won’t get hurt, that he is not sick, that he is not crying.

Jinwoo can still feel him, his love, his care but he chose to ignore it and move on. He chose to be alone and lonely rather than happy but broken.

He regained his name back, he is on top again, and he became his best again. He stopped worrying about his heart and anything about love. He stopped loving the same time school first semester end.

And when the second semester starts, Seunghoon left. Everyone around him blamed him for it and he can’t even retort back because it’s true. They tried to contact him but he changed his number. Even his parent doesn’t answer their call and that night he cried again. He lost Seunghoon for the second time and this time he won’t be seeing him. He can’t steal a glance while he is smiling. He can’t stare at his face when he is daydreaming anymore.

He completely focused his life in studying, forgetting the man who’s waiting for him to open up again.

Jinwoo groans as he feels his headache even when he is sleeping. He sits up only to fall back again cupping his head. He opened his eyes when heard a chuckle. He saw the man who’s behind his massive headache right now.

“What’s funny?” He madly asked, hissing because he can feel his head pounding.

“Who told you to drink so much last night that you can’t even walk straight?” The man walks towards his bed with a glass of water and a painkiller. He helps Jinwoo to take the medicine before gently lying him down again.

Jinwoo slaps his hand when he tried to hold his face. He smiles faintly leaning down kissing Jinwoo’s temple before he walk out of the room. Jinwoo stayed there boring hole at the ceiling while willing his headache to leave him alone.

Jinwoo stirs on his sleep; he doesn’t even know that he fell asleep again. Fortunately this time his head isn’t hurting anymore. He went for a quick shower to remove all the unpleasant smell on his body. When he is drying himself in front of the mirror he saw a pinkish purple mark on his collarbone. He stormed out of his room ready to kill the guy-

“Walking out I see.” The guy he really wants to kill stops him, pinning him on the wall, hands on both sides of his head.

“Jiho I swear-” He stops as he feels his face heating up. Jiho eyes him from head to toe eyes stopping at his private part and he covered it with his hand.

“I saw it last night no need to hide it.” Jiho tried to hold his hand but he beat him to it and pushed him a little harder making him lose his balance.

“ERT!” He shouts and glare to Jiho before he runs to his room again, slamming his door.

A moment later Jiho knocks on his door, poking his head at the small opening.

“I’ll be going hyung. Bye bye!” Jiho waves at him which he returns.

He stares into space as he tries to remember what happen last night. He remember Jiho his one and only ert roommate dragging him into a club. He said that they will not drink but Jiho’s friend Ji Hoon keeps giving him drinks and because he doesn’t want to be rude, he drank them all. He needs to remind himself to not cook for their breakfast tomorrow.

He remembers the mark on his collarbone, if ever Taehyun saw it he’s going to hell. He’s going to call Jiho to bombard him with everything he got but he saw a message from him.

          Nothing happened last night.. I only mark you because you look so hot. And yes I really see it since I change your pants. I SEEN IT A LOT OF TIMES HYUNG DON'T WORRY ;)

He sighs loudly thanking all the saints that nothing happened last night that he will regret later on. The last thing he wants is to break his friendship with Jiho.

Jiho has been his friends since his college days. It’s been 5 years since they knew each other, since he left YG Academy to move on with his life. He left all the bitterness, guilt and the pieces of his heart and start anew.

Seungyoon and Taehyun got to debut as a duo. They perform at one of their musicals and someone recorded it, uploaded it on youtube. In a matter of just a month the video got a 1 million hit and a big entertainment company contacted them. They signed a contract and after 6 months they debut, slaying the chart. They become loved by everyone but they can’t admit that they are a couple because they are afraid that their fans will leave them and people won’t accept them. The company and manager know it though; they help the two to have some time with each other and sometimes covered up their pictures where they get too close or intimate.

Taehyun always call him. Asking him questions that a parent should ask. Seungyoon also love nagging. It starts when they were left alone in one whole week that they got closer and a part of Jinwoo likes it but when Seungyoon nags he regret it.

He doesn’t know where Seunghoon or Mino though. On his second year in college he saw Seunghoon with a girl, he look so happy so he didn’t approach him. That was the last time he saw him even though he want to know how he is doing he never had courage to do so.

Mino, they lost contact when they graduated high school. Mino dragged him at the back stage when the program ends and they are taking photos. He kissed him there and told him that he will wait no matter how long it takes for him to move on and forgive himself. That was their last kissed and their last look to each other. Mino never contact him all these years and he want to ask why but Seungyoon doesn’t know where he was. He knows Seungyoon is lying because a photo of them hanging out together spread online but when he tried to ask, Seungyoon just change the topic. Is it too late?

Jiho is at the bar not to drink but to hang out with his friends. He discovered this bar back in high school. It’s not the typical bar because it’s a bar for rappers and hip hop fans. He started rapping at the young age but no one knows it except his friend and now Jinwoo. He really likes Jinwoo not in a romantic way but in a platonic way so it’s easy for him to open up with the small man.

“Yo Mino!” He greeted one of his friends. Mino is quiet new; he just joins them a year ago. They laugh at him because he looks like a trying hard hip hop boy but no, he is good.

“Why are you not here last night?” Jihoon greeted Mino with a high five.

“Why something happened?” Mino asked as he takes a sit next to Jiho.

“Jiho brings his beautiful roommate last night.” Yu kwon teased Jiho. They still can’t believe that Jiho isn’t making a move with his roommate when they knew that he got some hot for him.

“Really? Is he really beautiful?” Mino is getting curious because Jiho doesn’t want to bring his roommate no matter how they force him. He said he is too innocent and beautiful to hang out with them.

“He is and y too.” Minhyuk wiggles his eyebrows making everyone laugh.

“Hey Jiho hyung. I need a favour.” Mino said looking hesitant.

“You mention before that you have a spare room right?” Jiho nods and Mino continues.

“You see my apartment is under renovation so I really need somewhere near at my work and here.” Mino is biting is lips, if Jiho doesn’t agree he will be sleeping in the street.

“Wait let me text hyung first.” Jiho quickly taps his phone asking Jinwoo if it’s okay for his friend to live with them temporarily.

Jinwoo replied quickly with an okay with a smiley and heart emoticon.

“Okay” Jiho beams at him and Mino can’t help but hug him.

“Thank you hyung. I’ll be moving tomorrow then.”

“Just make sure you don’t steal his roommate.” Jaehyo said and Mino nods furiously.

HOPE YOU LIKE THIS SUDDEN CHANGE...