14. Photograph.
776 words about how Jimin does just not deal with how the love of his life left him behind.
(What am I even doing with all this sadness... OTL)

It’s all just sweet memories now, or maybe they turned bitter sweet along the way. I honestly don’t know what to feel anymore I just know that I miss you, I miss you a lot. Sometimes I find myself flipping through the pictures on my phone that I still need to delete.

I still have them all, all the pictures we’ve taken together, on our dates, on our trips out or just when we were together in general.

I even have pictures of when you sleep, eat and play games on your phone. Am I creepy? Maybe so, but I don’t care for me it’s memories of how close we used to be, how close I want us to be again.

I don’t know what I did wrong for you to not want me anymore. Am I not good enough anymore? I really don’t know, but no matter what I regret it because now all the pictures makes me long for you, for your kisses and your soft touches, makes me long for the sweet whisperings of ‘I love you’ in my ear.

What happened to that? Did you just stop loving me?

No matter how much I long for you, you keep being lost for me and every time I flip through all out photos I almost end up crying, we look so happy, I look happy, but the more I look the more I see that you’re not always smiling and it breaks my heart.

Why didn’t you talk to me? Wasn’t I trust worthy?

I was your boyfriend and you should have talked to me instead of leaving me with these bitter memories of what was once my best dream. Now it’s a nightmare, the time I spend with you haunts me, makes me long for you holding me, I miss feeling you, every inch of you I miss.

Now when I walk outside with my camera to take pictures of places and peoples, I tend to flinch when I see happy couples, because I envy them for what they have now and at the same time I pity them because one wrong footstep and they will end up like us.

Parted, broken up, in pieces.

Hurt.

I’ve taken a liking to the rain, I never really liked it before, but now it’s like the rain understands me. The skies is crying when I myself can’t cry anymore so that is why if you were here to look through my photos you would see pictures of people in the rain, their umbrellas kept in a hard grip above their heads while they hurry on their way to somewhere dry.

I’m always out there without one, I let the heavy drops soak my clothes and wet my hair and skin. I’ve gotten sick a few times from it, but I don’t care anymore it makes me feel better.

I really should start deleting our pictures, but I can’t. They might make me long for the times everything was happy but I can’t get myself to get rid of all the memories.

I still hope for a day where you will return to me, I haven’t changed my number, I haven’t moved, I haven’t even changed the lock on the door.

I hope that one day you will be back for me and tell me my suffering is over, that you suffered too.

Is that too much to hope for Taehyung? That you miss me too? That you regret what you did to me? I guess that it is, because it’s been a year and you’ve still not come back to me.

I guess I am just a stupid fool for not letting you go, letting the memories go, but I don’t care.

If my suffering won’t ever have an end let that be it.

I don’t want to forget the memories of us, of you or of anything.

I want to remember your face, how your fingers fit perfectly in the spaces between mine, how your deep voice sounded in my ear when you told me sweet nothings and how you would make me feel special and loved.

Even though it might wasn’t anything special the photos prove that somewhere in all the mess you did care and that is why I don’t delete them because I need to remember that you actually cared or else I will hate you.

And I don’t want to hate you, even if you left me with a broken heart and about a million photographs filled with bitter sweet memories that will never be more than that.

I still love you.

I will never stop loving you.

Ever.

Yeap... this happened tonight... sorry guys... I don't even know anymore, I am practicing my angst lately so please don't hate me OTL
Also it's my first VMin story and I go and do this... I'll make something happier another time...