SeungHo97

Reviewed by elisha960809

'College Life' Review

Title: [2/5]

It was boring and meaningless and straightforward and plain. It didn’t catch my eye.

Description/Foreword: [4/10]

I didn’t like what you wrote, because it just gave away the ending. Of COURSE it’s going to be a happy ending; of COURSE Taeyeon will fall in love with Leeteuk; of course… I can expect what will happen, there is no suspense or curiosity. It doesn’t make me want to read it.

Plot: [4/5]

It wasn’t super unique, but it was unique enough. I marked a point off, though, because I thought it was all too coincidental and hard to believe that the school would pair up different es in a dorm. That should be against the rules!

Flow: [9/10]

It wasn’t perfect, but it wasn’t too fast either. It was pretty good though.
 

Writing Style: [3/5]

I understand that Taeyeon’s words are pink and Leeteuk’s color is blue-greenish one, but I didn’t really get the others’. The colors distracted me from the story because I had to pause and think, making my own theories of the color coding. I don’t think you've ever mentioned color coding in your description/foreword. Although I still liked the way you write and explain things. I can clearly understand how the character is feeling.

Originality: [10/10]

I don’t think I’ve ever read a story about a girl and boy’s love story, sharing the same dorm in college! It was a new plot that I’ve never read about. Full points in this section!

Grammar/Punctuation/Vocabulary: [9/20]

There were small mistakes like this:

I feld my hands together and shut my eyes, making a quick prayer.

I held my hands together and shut my eyes, making a quick prayer.

“Feld” isn’t a word. You probably meant “held”.

Then the door swung open

Then the door swung open.

You forgot the period at the end.

I clutched my chest and my eyes blinked twice before regaining my vision.

I clutched my chest and blinked my eyes twice before regaining my vision.

The way I said it sounds better and smoother.

I made sure that Father was no where to be seen.

I made sure that Father was nowhere to be seen.

“Nowhere” is one word, not two words.

You had many little mistakes like that, most likely due to not editing and/or rushing through the chapter. That was only chapter one. There is more in the next chapters. The grammar and punctuation is important in quality of your story; if your grammar is bad, your story will look low quality. If your grammar is good, then it will look high quality. I advise you to edit your chapters before publishing them. Read them over at least once more. Some people, like me, don’t like to read stories with bad/rushed grammar and spelling.

Another thing- I didn’t like how you made every sentence a paragraph. You should only make new paragraphs when a character says something or if you’re talking about a different topic.

Characterization/Details: [17/20]

I understood everyone’s personalities. In the earlier chapters, you introduced a couple of the Super Junior members (who are friends in the story) with a persona before their names. That was a good idea.

Poster/Background: [3/5]

You had many posters.

Main poster: At first, I was like, that looks pretty bad. But when I looked at all the details, I liked it.

Poster in description: It was plain and blunt, but the combining of pictures looked natural looked like a real photo shoot, not a combining of two pictures.

Background: I disliked it. Sure, it’s cute, and sure, it has the main characters in them. The reason why I didn’t like it was because it was too bright for some of your chapters. It’s distracting. For example, chapter 1, the background distracted the mood you were trying to create in the story. I personally favor one-color or one-texture backgrounds that can match with various moods.

Chapter posters: Some of them matched your story’s mood, while others did not. Some of them were good, while some of them weren't. I did like most of them though.

Overall Enjoyment: [8/10]

I like Super Generation but I don’t really care about Taeteuk. Still, I enjoyed the story and I enjoyed reviewing it.

Total Score: [69/100]

Comments:

Thankkkk you so much for reviewing my story (: Gives me more to fix about my stories ! ^^

DID I TRICK YOU GUYS INTO THINKING THAT YOU'D GET ANOTHER CHAPTER MWHAHAH . JK guys.

I'm kinda stressed this month, so I'm sorry I can't update like usual >< ~ !