Review done by : Peachy Review Request Shop 

Story Title: College Life

Story Link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/80099/college-life-leeteuk-taeteuk-taeyeon

Story Title: 3/10

- There is no creativity in this story title whatsoever. It's ordinary even though it fits. I know that the story is about life in college but yeah... you can do better than that. The story has different scenes and other feelings and such, so use it as a reference to think of a more interesting title.

Storyline: 20/30

- I am not a fan of stories like this, but despite that, it's still good. But it's not the best storyline. The things in this kind of stories somehow are always similar to one another despite the effort the writers put into to make it unique. At the end, your story will be Taeyeon falling in love with Lee Teuk, which is very predictable as that's how all stories ended. See, again... they're the same. So, I would like to see you bringing the story to life a little bit more. It lacks something. I need to see the things that makes your story special and so far, there is nothing that would attract me to your story.

Grammar/Spelling:  8/10

- So far, the highest score is your grammar. I see no obvious mistakes, so good for you :D

Originality: 6/10

- For me, this story is not that original. Even though there are less stories about plots like this, but that doesn't mean that there isn't. The plot can be thought and written by anyone. It's too easy.

Flow: 5/10

- The flow is okay, i guess.The changing POV thing, it's okay if it's only changing between Lee Teuk and Tae Yeon's but still, I suggest you using a 3rd person's POV when you're writing other stories. 3rd person POV is always the best in writing stories as the views will not change often. Changing too much will lead to confusion for the readers and this is not good. And then there is the picture adding. NO NO PICTURES! It disrupts the flow or readers reading. Finally there is one thing that irritates me the most-- your colored words. I'm sorry to say this but I do not like what you did with the words. It's unnecessary. I know you want to make it more clear to the readers but in fact about the POVs and who is talking, but it kind of went the other way. It gets confusing and irritating for the eyes. BIG TURNOFF for readers who love reading.

Characters: 7/10

- You did good here but I would like to see a different side of both characters. One question, do you planned out their personality or anything? Like, give them a theme or a persona for example... mean, shy, bully, angry, sweet. Do you write things down? Because if you did, it's kind of hard to show. Next time, plot the character personalities and then stick to them. This way, the readers will know how is each individual like and how they react to things and others.

Want for Updates: 4/10

- I'm sorry but this story is not for me. I have only read a few chapters and I don't really want to continue reading it any longer. I'm sorry that I sounded arrogant and straightforward but you need to write more interesting things to attract more readers. Serious readers will not take your story seriously. Some will even think that it's boring because there is not really a part or something that makes the readers exciting.

Total: 53/100

Suggestions:

• Think of a more creative story title. You can do better.
• Add a little twist to the story to attract readers.
• Try to be more original next time.
• Grammar and spelling is good, keep it up.
• Be descriptive in your story.
• Write in PARAGRAPHS!!!!!!!!!! Please, do not write a sentence and then press enter and start the next line again. Use paragraphs.
• No pictures and please... NO COLORED WORDS, it'll disrupt the flow of the story.
• Be desriptive on your characters. Plot different personas for different individuals but please... not everyone is perfect, so don't write people like that.
• Add more exciting scenes.
• Description should be longer.
• Foreword should be about thing related to your story, maybe a small paragraph for it's trailer or some sort.

I'm sorry that I'm harsh on you here. I don't know why, or is it maybe cause I was in a bad mood just now? Hmmm... oh well. Anyways, I know you will be a great writer, so that is why I'm pushing you right now. Don't care too much about the marks I gave you here. Continue to write your story but I hope that you will change once you write a new one. Good Luck.

Reviewed by Nicoleziying

): I was hoping for a higher mark ><

Oh well, I'll take what I get xD

Thank you for reviewing my story, Nicoleziying ! Helps me learn and grow more (:

Comments:
Haha thanks for reviewing xD But, I know the first couple chapters are boring, but it gets better at the end =.= Too bad you didn't read it aha . Maybe when you have spare time, you can get to the exciting parts. Because I know the beginning is just like ~~~, but every stories got to have a beginning (: I just tend to drag it out too long @___@

Also, for the Character section, isn't it "- You did well here " not good?

And for the color thingy, I just found it easier for some people to read (: I personally find it easier because I get mixed up reading other peoples stories when they're just black aha [Some readers commented that they preferred it, so I kept it like that ^^] ` But I'll cut back on the pictures and add a twist near the end .

Thanks for the review again !