Somehow the members were getting used to being left behind. They just accepted that if someone is happy, you should let them go.

 

 

And so they did.

 

 

Slowly they moved on. It was right after Baekhyun and Chanyeol disappeared when Chen went on as well. They couldn’t do anything about it. They just went on with helping the students get on.

 

 

Another month passed. It was now a week before the awaited day: their graduation day.

 

 

And the only students left were them.

 

 

“I guess we’ve done a good job,” Suho suddenly said. They were all gathered at the cafeteria. They didn’t even notice that they’ve helped every single one of the students.

 

“We sure did.” The other members held up their drinks and toasted.

 

“Why did we toast? It’s not even wine,” Xiumin said that made everyone laugh.

 

“I feel happy,” Kai suddenly blurted out. Everyone agreed. D.O looked at him with those big loving eyes, and Tao noticed that.

 

“Yah yah yah Kyungsoo. Don’t even start with your lovey dovey moment again. Just because you’re the only couple left—“Tao was cut by Suho.

 

“They’re not the only couple left.” Suho eyed Luhan and Sehun as he emphasized the word ‘couple’.

 

“What?” Luhan asked while eating his ddeokbokki.

 

“Oh, nothing,” Suho cooed.

 

“Aish. Seriously this leader…” Luhan muttered under his breath and his eyes landed on his seatmate, Sehun who seems like his mind is wandering off somewhere.

 

“Yah, you’re dozed off.”

 

“I am? Oh, sorry,” he muttered. Luhan can’t help but feel curious about what is happening. Since Sehun joined the group, he would talk a little, and his mind is always not there. It looks like he is always in deep thought. And since the very start, he can always hear his own heart beating when Sehun is near. Why?

 

 

But Luhan just chose to be quiet.

 

 

**

 

 

The next day came by smoothly.  Sehun felt uncomfortable because Luhan is somehow being closer to him than before. It was like Luhan wants something from him, but he doesn’t say anything. At night, he always asks himself what was wrong, but of course, he would get nothing.

 

 

And of course, he keeps his little secret from him.

 

 

He glances at Luhan with a sad smile on his face. He knows how Luhan feels. He knows how fast his heart is beating every time he sees him. He knows everything.

 

 

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Luhan asked.

 

“Nothing. I just feel like it.”

 

“You’re weird.”

 

“I know.”

 

Luhan let out a sigh and took a glance at the fields. “Want to walk outside? You look like you’re in deep thought. You might freshen up.”

 

“That would be nice.” Sehun stood up and Luhan followed.

 

“I told you there’s another couple,” Suho said as they left.

 

“Indeed.” Everyone nodded.

 

 

**

 

 

Luhan walked ahead of Sehun. He was taking a look at the quiet school. It was noisy before, but after all the students disappeared, it became so quiet you could hear a needle drop.

 

 

He sat down at the grass and so did Sehun. Sehun’s eyes looked at view blankly. He was just staring but he wasn’t paying any attention. His mind is wandering off somewhere again.

 

 

ZHANG LIYIN - BACK THEN

 

 

“Why are you always drowned in your thoughts?” Luhan became as straightforward as he could be.

 

“I don’t know,” he answered softly. Luhan noticed that he is not in the mood to talk now, so he stayed quiet for a while.

 

 

After a couple of minutes, they heard the other members who seemed like they’re on the way home. Xiumin asked Luhan to go home, but he declined because he can’t leave Sehun alone. But the members didn’t go home because they wanted to spy on both of them.

 

 

“Still won’t tell me what you’re thinking about?” Luhan asked politely.

 

“No.”

 

“Oh. Okay.”

 

“Why are you still here?” Sehun asked.

 

“I can’t leave you alone now, can I?”

 

“Still…”

 

“And haven’t I said it before? I like being with you.” Sehun didn’t say anything. Luhan chose to speak more about his bottled up feelings.

 

“After all we’ve been through, would you like to…be with me?”

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“After this obstacle we’re facing, I believe we will have another life. In that case…would you like to…uhm…well…?”

 

“I can’t understand you.”

 

“Well, I just thought about it suddenly. I mean, well, I…” Luhan’s heart is beating fast right now. He can’t feel it, he just knows it.

 

“What?”

 

“I wanted to continue this kind of relationship we have. I want to be with you. I…I love you.” Sehun’s face became darker and sadder as Luhan spoke. He inched closer and hugged Sehun. Something’s wrong…

 

“What’s wrong? Why aren’t you saying anything?”

 

“I don’t want to answer you, Luhan.” Sehun felt a pang of pain in his chest. No…

 

“Why?”

 

“Because if I answer, I might disappear in front of you.”

 

“W-What do you mean?” He let go of him as he spoke.

 

“I want to say ‘thank you’ to you, Luhan.”

 

“What’s wrong with you, Sehun? Get straight to the point!” Luhan doesn’t understand a thing, and tears are starting to form in his eyes. What is going on?

 

“Remember what happened to you before you died? You left your organs for donation, right?”

 

“What does that have to do with you?” Luhan wanted to shout in frustration. He had a feeling of what he was going to say, but he didn’t want to believe it. He started to feel like crying.

 

“You saved my life long ago, Luhan.”

 

“What are you talking about now?!” Luhan is really frustrated right now. Sehun’s tears were forming as well.

 

“Your heart is beating inside of me. I received it as a donation when I was alive.” Sehun put a hand over his chest as he said it. Luhan backed away because of what he heard. No...It can’t be. It can’t be. Not you, Sehun.

 

“My only regret was I couldn’t say my word of thanks to the person who kindly donated his own life source to me. I was dying back then, but they said that a donation came. I was so happy because my life was extended somehow. And now that you’re here…” Sehun looked up to Luhan. “I can finally do it.”

 

“No! You can’t say that! You don’t have enough proof…” Luhan felt himself getting weaker. How is this even possible?

 

“Remember the first time we met? What did I do to you?” Luhan thought for a while and his eyes widened.

 

“Y-You stabbed me…”

 

“Right then and there, I stabbed you in the left side of the chest. That’s when I knew, because you don’t have a heart beating inside of you.”

 

“E-Even so! It could be someone else but me!” Luhan protested. He was being stubborn. Sehun just shook his head as he turned his back and spoke more.

 

“Remember the time when you remembered how you died?”

 

“What does that have to do with—“Luhan was cut off by Sehun.

 

“You fell asleep back then, didn’t you? You fell asleep on my chest. You heard your own heartbeat. That’s why you remembered your own death.”

 

 

Luhan sobbed. Sehun prevented himself from crying because he needs to speak more.

 

 

“So please, Luhan. Say those words again.” Sehun faced him with a weak smile.

 

“No! I don’t want you to…to…” Luhan can’t even say the word because he doesn’t want to. He loves Sehun so much he can’t live without him.

 

“Please…”

 

Luhan sighed as he cried. He took a deep breath before saying again, “I love you, Sehun.” He hugged him tightly in his arms.

 

“Let me believe in what you believe, Luhan. Let me believe that life can be wonderful.”

 

“I love you, Sehun,” he repeated.

 

“I hope you’ll do well in this world, Luhan,” Sehun said, still not saying the words he wanted to say the most because he doesn’t want to leave Luhan yet.

 

“Let’s be together…forever…”

 

And finally, the words came out. “Thank you, Luhan. Thank you…”

 

 

Luhan closed his eyes and waited for a minute or so. A minute has passed. 2 minutes. 3. 4. 5. 10. He still felt a solid figure in his arms.

 

 

“Sehun?” He looked at the figure and saw him smiling. He’s smiling. That damn smile kills me every time I see it.

 

“Why…”

 

“I don’t know, Luhan. I don’t know.”