(11) The explanation
A good in goodbye.Kim taeyeon
Whenever i think about baekhyun i always reminded of the sea . wide , beautiful and mysterious. It was summer from what i remember , i remember he is moving to my class because he got acceleration his brain is beyond average .So that he is somewhat moving to my class when he should be a sophomore in my school.
I remember he is smiling at me asking me if he could sit beside me and i said yes of course why not . Back then .. i was a happy and bright girl though . I always always always admire him since the first time i talked to him , as i just said before he is a sea which you would always want to dive in . sometimes he was just bright talking about how much he loves piano and singing ,sometimes he was serious talked about how he wanted his future looks like , or sometimes he was just mysterious about his background.
I could say that i was his only best friend that time , he has couple of friend to hang out with but i never se him considering them as best friend .Everytime i ask him to get more social life to his class mates , he always argued that its only waste of time and he always said , you are the only one who understand me well. Though i hate to hear it but i loved that i am special in his mind.
Time goes by as my feelings grow bigger and bigger to him . Its raining that day i remember i didn't bring my umbrella so i had to stay in the school . "I won't go home if you don't ." he said to me . And then just like that we ended staying in the school only by ourselves .He kissed me , under our teacher bench when i finally talked about how broken my family were. "From now on i will be your guardian ." he said to me. I smiled and hugged him , i really felt so happy .
It was my first kiss.
From that day he was my boyfriend . We were a normal couple back then , but since we were living in the countryside before we only could watch movies like 1 time in 2 months since its so expensive and ate a bad ice cream which it cost so much .but i didn't care though as long he was with me , i was happy.
My family was getting worse my step father was going on a hard life which made him so different , he was so temperamental on me and my mom. Only months after that my mom died > It was sad for me and dad , but the good thing was he lost his temperament and took care of me well.
Baekhyun told me that he was finally seeing his future , he wanted to be a doctor . Of course i supported him , he would be grey to be honest . But whats saddening me was when baekhyun saw his future , i never saw mine . And also i never saw me on his future .
My step father finally found his light and applied to be a worker on a multi national office . He was accepted.. I was so happy and my step mother did too , only before he said that he should move to america.
I never thought about leaving korea , especially when baekhyun was in it . I never thought about that.But i couldn't refuse my step father will , i didn't have anyone here . so that it was clear i moved to america.
That day wwas a week before i moved to america also baekhyun birthday. In his room we had it …. my first and also his first . It was not mine or his idea for making out . It was us naturally.
He was 18 .
Only 2 days before i went to america , i wrote a letter to him . I put it on his locker . That was the last thing i gave to him.
Not even a breakup words
Not evem a hug or a kiss.
Only a letter .
Byun baekhyun
My boyfriend my best friend .
i will leave korea of america today don't find me.
thats it , i already wrote so many letter about how i loved him or anything but i decide to used this letter instead .Because it would less hurt to made him this way .
America is beautiful , for me its a city of hope . My dad and mom , even we aren't related to blood they were taking care of me well.They registered me to a good school and we lived in a good apartment such a nice starter for us to start our life.
Until i believed it was thursday after i went back home from school i feel so dizzy . My step mother was asking me if i was okay ? and the i said that i would be okay by a night .
But my condition wasn't better so my mom finally took me to the doctor . Instead of wrote me a prescription he congratulated me of getting pregnant.
It was a hard nine months for me and of course for my mom and dad . They knew and i knew who is the dad of my son but we remain silent . I never intended to told him about this anyway.
My step father was died of lungs cancer made me and my mom struggled on living . With my son in it , it was twice harder . Of course i didn't go to school anymore i only part-timing here and there . it was january when i decided to get married with my co worker Jonghyun .
It was never really about love actually , for me he was my insurance .
So only a year after that we didn't stay together anymore .
I decided to move back to seoul .I brought my step mother and my son too.
Seoul is great and again and again . Just when i start 'another' life in here , my past brought me .
I met baekhyun …… examined my son or could i say his son too ?
Living his dream , byun baekhyun is living his dream . And just like what i thought before , i am not living in it.
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