“You like J-Hope, and here you are kissing another guy”

I wasn’t surprised at her declaration. I knew somehow that this was coming. Hyuna was a at heart and would always be one no matter what. Although I couldn’t really get the connection between me liking J-Hope and kissing Kai, I felt this growing sense of nervousness that caused my muscles to clench and grit my teeth hard. My thoughts instantly clicked to Kai, and I wondered briefly if that small comment was enough to face him. I hoped not, he had better overlook these shallow things seeing as we would be stuck together for the rest of our lives whether we liked it or not.

“What’s your problem?” I asked flatly.

She tossed a part of her hair behind her well-defined shoulder “Perhaps I should tell your partner how much of a lying you are”

I felt Kai’s muscle stiffen at the intonation of her words, contracting visibly under his shirt.

I scoffed “Your just wasting your time, Hyuna”

“Oh am i?” her eyebrows rose “Should I tell him how your love lasted throughout your childhood? Or how one of your friends backstabbed you, and yet you still continued chasing after him even after they started officially dating? Should I also go into detail about how much skinship he shows with you, when his girlfriend is in front of him? Because trust me, the definition of a screams you in my dictionary”

I winced. I wasn’t ready to admit it, seeing as I was a stubborn mule, but everything that erupted from had a truth buried inside. It was much more complicated, more complex. But when she stated the facts as dryly as this, well it seemed harsh and bitter. What did I ever do to gain this much hate from her? I was a pacifist, I did not engage into fights nor did I go looking for trouble, so why was it running at my heels at this moment?

She turned to Kai with that ever-growing smirk on her red lips, like a Cheshire cat ready to pounce onto its prey. “What do you think about that, hm?”

I couldn’t look at him in the eye, but instead tightened the hand onto his shoulder in a fist and bit my lip so hard I tasted blood. I prayed that he took this in a mature way and hoped against hope that he wouldn’t phase right then and there. What I did, it wasn’t any of my fault. J-Hope was the main cause of all our skinship, why was I framed when I had done nothing but play along? Our relationship was one of a best friend, childhood one too, so it was expected that he treated me just like a smaller sister. Truth to be told, it wasn’t like Kai didn’t know about my supposed crush anyway right? Since he probably read it all through my thoughts. He should know that my love for him was superficial and was slowly disappearing, morphing into something else. What I thought was love was indeed affection that I had taken the wrong way. People get confused with love, especially when you’ve known a person for a long period of time, and I was in particular one of them.

As if hearing everything that’s been playing through my brain like a broken record, my wolf relaxed visibly under my hold and met Hyuna’s gaze with an evil smirk, one I wouldn’t want to be victim of  “I never knew seniors could be so immature”

And with that, he swiveled on his feet and tugged me along behind him, not a backward glance toward the surprise stricken girl that stood there with her jaw slack and eyes wide like a goldfish that had just done one round of her glass aquarium. I wanted to snigger, but felt that it was a bad timing especially when I had no idea about Kai’s mood right now.

He pulled me to his car, and suddenly whipped me around so suddenly that I found my back pressed against the car door with his nose buried in my hair, arms pressed on both sides of my body as he took in my smell.

I let him calm down, he was probably shaken up from that even earlier on and I would do everything for him to feel comforted right now. Having someone spit at your face about your soulmate loving someone else should’ve been much more than just a mere slap in the face, and I was ready to accept whatever consequences that followed.

I relished in the Kai scent I had gotten used to, pressing my face into the curve of his shoulder and snuggling my nose in his shirt. My hands took on a life of their own and laced themselves around his back.

After a few minutes, he drew away and took a deep breath. I thought that it was over and Jongin was back, but when I reached out to touch his shoulder gently, he just cupped my hand in his big one and put it back to my side, shaking his head and going silently to the driver’s side and sliding in.

Confused, I got into the passenger seat and watched him drive, his motions fluid and efficient, but his eyes blank; a fathomless pit of darkness. I gulped, did I do something wrong?

My hands unconsciously tightened in my lap, bowing my head so that my hair fell into a curtain around my face.

The drive was awkward and slow, with Kai driving like a robot machine and I looking out of the window for such a long time that the glass fogged up due to my breath. I didn’t dare to look at him in the eye; for fear that I might catch a glimpse of something I hadn’t wished to see. A thought nags at me in my subconscious, the fact that Hyuna had mentioned my crush on J-Hope…could that be it? But he knew about it already! I hadn’t made an effort to hide my feelings, and maybe he was trying to contain the jealousy that was simmering at the pit of his stomach. Knowing Kai, he was probably frustrated with himself. I felt it wash over me like waves of dizziness hitting my body, all his insecurities crashing onto me and spiraling with my own thoughts.

“Jongin?” I called as soon as we reached the werewolves’ house.

His eyes found mine, black and dark and mysterious in the shadows that fell over his face. He said nothing, but his lips tilted into a soft smile that didn’t reach his eyes, like a man that was weeping for someone’s loss. The words failed me as soon as I saw his face, gaunt and pale without any trace of happiness present. My heart clenched but when I tried reaching out for him, he only drew back and shook his head again, not even waiting for me as he quickly walked up the porch and into the house.

I tried not thinking too much into it and entered the house only to encounter an irritated Luhan in the doorway.

“What did you do this time?” he hissed, eyes glowing red in the soft yellow light. The cherub boy’s lips were drawing back slowly and threatening to burst into fangs. Uh oh, Luhan’s sixth sense was a good one.

“I-I don’t know” Bowing my head in shame, I bit my lip and shuffled my feet as remorse and guilt built inside of me. My hands only wanted Kai, to touch and comfort him, to hug him close and cuddle him until I could catch a glimpse of that breathtaking smile that could cause my knees to wobble and my heart soaring into heaven.

“He didn’t even look angry, more like broken” The older male snarled, eyes narrowed into curved slits “You know what that means?”

I squeezed my eyes shut. I didn’t ask for this either.

“He looked like an abashed wolf. Do you know what happens to abashed wolves?”

I slowly shook my head.

‘Abashed wolves-‘

“Luhan!” Kris was standing by the staircase, a somber expression cast over his features. I couldn’t help but shiver in fear. What was I thinking? This was Kris, he wouldn’t dare hurt me right? He was responsibly and diligent and had a whole pact that looked up to him, while Luhan on the other hand was as insane and weird as his numerous amount of moods. I swear this kid was bipolar.

“Sarang-ah, let’s get you to your room neh?” Mihye popped out behind her wolf and came towards me with open arms. I let myself hear her cajoling, soft lullabies that caressed my ear shell as she brought me to Kai’s room, one protective hand around my waist while the other caressed my hair diligently. I was quite grateful for her help, because without her, I was truly at loss.

“Abashed wolves are the worst. He’s actually feeling this way probably because he feels like giving up on you” Mihye casted me a delicate glance. “You should’ve done something that has hurt his pride”

I almost choked back a sob at the desperation that was clawing at my throat, as well as the tears.

“I know it’s hard, but just go there and try making him feel secure and loved by you. If he doesn’t get past this, he’ll never get better. Abashed wolves…” She hesitated, took a deep breath and continued with a whisper “can die of heartbreak”

“BWOH?!” I blurted out without thinking.

She nodded “They are passionate beings. Passionate with whatever they do, whether it’s the killing, the loving, or the rejection. He feels it ten times more than a normal human being, so...” then she jabbed a finger towards his door “and he probably heard this conversation too, so don’t try to evade it”

“A-Arraso” I gulped, my hands grabbing hold of the handle and pushing it slightly only to reveal an already sleeping Kai, with his back turned from the door in a fetus position. He resembled a small kid without the warmth of his mother’s embrace, and a small smile hitched my lips up. It slid off my face when I thought of the past events that occurred tonight, and with a heavy heart, I approached his bed and touched his shoulder gently.

“J-Jongin?”

He didn’t respond, and I wasn’t expecting him to even though he was awake. I was well aware of the pain that he was wallowing in; the jealousy, the desperation…I had felt it all when I was faced with J-Hope, but it had lessened somewhat, and maybe a small part of me was happy that Kai got into my life, for he erased J-Hope with a swipe of his hand and slowly but surely made him like him for who he was. But it was too late to erase the mistakes I made, and right now I just wished for Jongin to be all right and know how much I appreciated it. I must’ve been a real idiot to think every time of J-Hope instead of focusing on the one that had been there all along.

“Jongin?” I tried again, but the boy was adamant in not talking to me. So with a resigned huff, I slid myself next to him and turned towards my side so I didn’t have to look at his broad back and restrain myself from hugging him with everything I had in me. I felt my heart quench in pain and my ribcage close in on me. My palms clamped into fists as I tried not to make a sob escape my throat. Tears were clawing at my eyes, desperate to cascade down my cheeks. But I knew I couldn’t. I had to be the stronger one just this once, I had to be the one to comfort, not the other way round.

Before I fell into the arms of sleep, I whispered just the softest of murmurs “I’m sorry”

It’s been a week since he talked to me, and I had never felt so desperate in my life. The usually cheeky and childish Kai was long gone, replaced by this calm, monotonic robot that seemed to be wading through mud every time he talked. I tried, I really did; cornering him in hallways, trying to lighten and strike conversation when we lay side by side in his room, or even did everything possible for him to forgive me. But I think the blow was too harsh, too deep. Everyone could see how much effort I was putting in trying to make him become back to his usual self once again, and mostly they all pitied me.

Krystal had lent me the comfort of her arms one night when I burst into tears, telling her how I missed Kai and wished that everything was back to normal again because I realized how I couldn’t possibly live without my wolf at my side. I had come to depend so much on Jongin that when he wasn’t here, I felt a small part of me being wrenched away.

Once, when Jongin had ignored my calls, Luhan had popped up from behind me and sneered “You’re crazy if you think that Jong will forgive you that easily”

I sighed and didn’t even bother looking at him, “Luhan, I’m not really in the mood for a battle okay? Leave me alone”

He chuckled devilishly “That’s why I don’t want a mate, its so much ing trouble”

“Well I hope you’ll enjoy being single for the rest of eternity” I spat back, my anger shooting up at its best.

“I hope Jongin never forgives you. I knew from the moment you crossed that threshold that you were nothing but scum” he hissed.

“I never asked for your ing opinion, Lu-Retard-Han”

“Luhan, enough” Suho’s voice broke through our argument.

I couldn’t help but think that maybe, just maybe Luhan was right.

Hey guys! I knowww such a short chappie :( But I'll make sure to reward you with some good stuff in the next chappie, this is just some kind of filler chapter to make you guys see how Jongin's hurt and all :) <3 so enjoy and comment down below! <3

Btw! I'm now on wattpad, and i'm going to stat uploadig stories there too so....:) Here you go! :D 

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