Earlier that day:

I trudged to my manager's office, dragging my feet on the tile. I knew what I was coming to talk to him about, but I had a bad feeling. I didn't want to go to the meeting, but Jonghyun forced me.

My insides whirled around my body, and I felt like I had to throw up. Alina was the last source of happiness I had. I wouldn't let him ruin it. I wouldn't.

"When I asked for permission to date Se Kyung-Noona, he was understanding. I'm sure he'll be understanding for you, too," He encouraged.

"But you're older, and he favorites you," I whined.

He rolled his eyes and pushed me towards the door. I sighed and opened it, seeing my manager sitting at his desk. 

"Annyeong haseyo~" I said, bowing 90 degrees. He nodded and gestured for me to sit down.

As I sat down, he threw a newspaper on the table, the headline read, "SHINee's Lee Taemin Dating?!" and had a picture of Alina and I earlier that day, kissing. .

"Explain this," Lee So Man said, his voice booming.

"Ah~ yes, well... I met a girl at school... She makes everyday a little bit better for me, and I.. I'm in love with her," I paused, looking at his face. He was expressionless, which terrified me even more. I looked down and bit my nails. "And, um, I was wondering if you would consider letting me date her?"

He narrowed his eyes at me, and for a moment I thought he would be understanding, but I was greeted by a harsh punch in the face.

I stood there in shock for a moment, clutching my cheek. It was throbbing with pain.

"Foolish kid. You don't know what love is! Are you really this dumb, to ask for my permission?! She's a nobody. You're not allowed to see her anymore," He said.

She's a nobody. That stung. But I wasn't going to give up.

"She makes me happy! You can't take everything away from me!!" I yelled at him. He already took everything else I had, now he also wanted to take Alina?! No, he wouldn't.

He struck me hard on the cheek again. "If I see you with her one more time, she's going to get the blame," He said, pushing me out the door.

I sat there in shock, my hands on my cheek, while Jonghyun ran over to me.

"Are you okay?!" He panicked.

"No! I'm not okay!" I said, tears starting to stream down my face. "Why can't I have just a little bit of happiness... Why..."

"I'm sorry, hyung," Jonghyun said, patting my back. I moved away from his touch, wanting to be left alone. 

"Just leave me the alone. I don't care about anything anymore. my life... my life..." 

Jonghyun looked surprised. I never curse, only if I am so mad I could kill someone. He slowly walked away, leaving me to cry my eyes out.

Why did everything I loved get taken away from me? My life ing . Everything about it. I didn't care about SHINee anymore. I just wanted to have a normal life, as a normal kid. 

If I couldn't have Alina, I didn't want anything. 

__________________________________________________________________

After Alina came to talk to me, I could barely breathe. She left. She was gone. 

I locked myself in the bathroom, looking at my face. It was blotchy and disgusting. I was barely recognizable.

I hated my life. I hated myself. I hated everything.

And then I got an idea. Unlocking the bathroom door and tiptoeing to the kitchen, I looked at the box of knifes we kept and grabbed the sharpest knife we had. I gently traced the blade with my fingertip and smirked. If I couldn't get what I wanted because I deserved it, I would just make them pity me.

I took a deep breath and looked at my wrist. Was I strong enough to do this to myself?

Yes, I told myself, do it.

I positioned the knife and then sliced my wrist open, blood gushing out of it. I closed my eyes and breathed, but the pain was too much so I lay myself down on the tile, my blood all over the floor.

The pain was unbearable. I felt lightheaded. But the pain in my heart was far more unbearable.

I lay there, curled in a ball on the floor, clutching my wrist. It was a matter of time before someone found me. But before anyone could, darkness greeted me.