It hurt... It just hurt so badly to know that my eomma was gone now and I couldn't take all those words that were meant to cheer him up from people that came to her funeral today. My tears never stopped. I started to not listen to anyone. The words didn't sink in anymore and I just tried to thank everyone for coming and for being here to say their last farewell to my eomma. Donghae had been beside me the whole day and the two days before after I called him that she died. He made me live with him and his family. They were really a great support. But still all I could feel was the hurt. I had to remind myself continuously of the promise I made to my eomma. I would become stronger and I would fight for my dreams from now on. But to become stronger... it wasn't easy at all.

After finally everybody had left, Donghae put an arm around me and lead me to his home again, made me sit on the couch and brought me some tea.

"Gomawo for everything. I don't know if I would have been able to get through this day without you and your family."

"That's what friends are for, ne Hyukkie. Maybe I shouldn't audition on Friday... You need me more here now as you are..."

"Ani, you have to go to the audition and I will be there for you and you will make it! Don't you dare to give up on your dreams because of what happened to me."

"But I really don't feel good about..."

"It's what I promised my eomma and it's what she asked for the night she died. So I need to start thinking about what I dream about again as well... Now I only have my life to take into account, my eomma isn't here anymore and my ex-boyfriend has left me... So now it is time to discover all of my dreams that I have pushed back all this time before and to fight for that."

"Maybe you should audition for SM Entertainment now as well. I would be a great opportunity and you are far more talented than me. You can make choreographies, you write songs, you can rap and your personality is just the best." That was the great thing about Donghae, he could always make me smile. He was always there for me although he was rather childish most of the time. Still I shook my head.

"SM Entertainment isn't the right company for me. I want to be part of a smaller company and I want to help to build something big there. But I will go to Seoul with you as I'm sure that you will pass the audition on Friday." Donghae looked at me with his big puppy eyes.

"But what company?" I just shrugged.

"Haven't thought about that yet as I had too much on my mind the last few days."

"Oh right... mianhae, that was really a very stupid question... I shouldn't have..."

"No worries, Donghae. It's all going to be alright. I have to get through this time now so that I will become stronger. I can't always just rely on others to be there for me. That's also why I want to be part of building something. I want to be part of something big and I also want to work with young people. You know that I always had so much fun teaching those kids. And now it should be some older kids so to speak."

"Is Kyuhyun also a reason why you don't want to join SM Entertainment?" That statement made me pull up my legs, putting my arms around my knees. "Mianhae I shouldn't have brought that up as well. That was totally inappropriate but..."

"Yes, that is also a reason... He doesn't want me in his life anymore and I can't just decide to go to the same company and then..." *But you have to fight for him. If he really is your biggest dream, then fight for him* My eomma's words echoed in my head. I probably had to fight for him. But I just don't know how I should do this. 

"Kyuhyun... He did wrong when he just left you and didn't want to stay in contact with you, you know? You two were so in love and everybody could see that you were happy. I don't understand his reasons until this day although it's been more than six months."

"I need to look after myself first, Donghae. It was good that he left me. Otherwise I would have always just leaned on him and just been there to support him in any way I can. But I need to get stronger myself now. I want to get strong, independent and if I succeed, then I want to maybe... fight for him again..." Donghae put his hand above mine and smiled at me.

"You will make it Hyukkie. If someone will succeed in this, then it is you. We will look at the different companies together and when you will go to one that you decided to go to then we will go there together and I will support you just like you will support me on Friday. I will always be there for you."

"I know Hae... I know... Gomawo."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Over the next few days, Donghae and I did a lot of research on the different companies. There was a new company called TS Entertainment which will just debut their first girl group in a few weeks. I just knew that this would be the place I wanted to go. So I send in my application, a vid with a choreography I made myself and a song that I have written myself as well.

My friend helped me in preparing how I should present myself while I helped him to learn some new amazing dance moves and went through scripts with him to help him become a bit more confident in his acting abilities as well. Friday came really fast and the two of us went to the SM Entertainment casting together. I was biting my lower lip or my nails the whole time that my best friend was inside for his casting. I guess, I was even more nervous than Donghae today. I just wanted him to be able to get inside a company at last. He was already 20 now and it was one of his very last chances to get in a company. But I knew that he was good and SM would be just stupid if they wouldn't take Donghae with his many talents.

Just when he came back out, my phone rang.

"Dae?", I answered right away.

"Lee Hyukjae-shi?"

"Dae, that's me. Who is speaking?"

"My name is Park Jungsu, president of TS Entertainment. Thank you for sending in your application. I could tell that you are really motivated and you seem to have many talents and good ideas. I would really like to meet you in person and to go through different points with you together. Would this be okay for you?"

"Of course, I would be honored to introduce myself to you and to give you further explanations to my ideas. Thank you very much for your call."

"Okay, so I would really be happy if you could make it to get here on Monday morning at 10 am. Would this be suitable for you?"

"Of course sir. Thank you again for this opportunity."

"I'm looking forward to our meeting Lee-shi. Have a nice weekend."

"Thank you, sir. You too." I hung up and looked straight into the big puppy eyes of my best friend.

"Who was that?"

"The president of TS Entertainment. I will have a job interview next week on Monday."

"YAY!" Donghae screamed and hugged me tightly. "Congrats! That's the very first step into a brighter future for you. Now we will have to work even harder this weekend so that you will impress the president on Monday and then he will have no other choice than to hire you! We will make it!" I still couldn't believe it. Of course it was still no guarantee at all that it would work out and that I would get a job at this company but it was still the fist step in the right direction, just like Donghae said. I just hoped that my courage and strength will be enough to convince someone of my talents. I pushed Donghae a bit from me.

"Mianhae, I should have asked this right away. How was it? What did they say to your audition?", I asked Donghae curiously.

"They said that they couldn't say it right away officially but they were impressed and they really want me as part of their company. They will get back to me by Monday with official statements. So let's hope for the best that both of us will have great news on Monday and that we made the first step in fulfilling our dreams now." This made me smile even more. 

"I knew it! They would be stupid not to take you!" We hugged again. I really hope that I wouldn't mess everything up now. *Don't forget to fight for your dreams as well* Again my eomma's words echoed in my head. I will fight for it. Just as I promised, I will fight for my dreams now, eomma. I will fulfill them just for you because I don't want to disappoint you. I want you to be proud of me even if you will only watch me from above from now on. You will be proud and I will become strong. I promise, eomma. I promise.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wow, I finished another chapter ^.^ But as I already informed you in the last chapter, I don't know yet if I will be able to update during the week... but I'll try my very best <33 I hope you'll enjoyed this chapter and will wait for my next updates! Love you <333