That night Kyu and I had talked until the early hours about a lot of things that had happened to us over the last three years. Of course I left out a lot of my feelings and it was more a thing about facts than feelings. I just couldn´t show my feelings yet to him if I didn´t trust him yet, could I? He actually didn´t want to leave at all. I could feel how much he enjoyed spending time with me and this made me feel so warm inside. It felt great and so wrong at the same time to just sit together and talk about different topics. It showed me once more how much I missed my ex-boyfriend and how much I actually wanted him in my life. My thoughts were always the same and I didn´t even feel the tiredness while being with him.

But at around 7 or 8 am the next morning, Kyuhyun´s manager called him because Kyuhyun would soon have a stage with KRY and they still needed to practise. When I got home that morning, I just went straight to bed and wanted to sleep because all the exhaustion broke down on me as soon as I was at home and processing everything. How would Kyuhyun get through this day with no sleep at all? Was he used to being awake without any sleep at all? I hope he would get through this day without any... YAH, Lee Hyukjae, don´t you even dare to already worry about him... I mean, I wanted to stay firm, right? Just when I almost drifted off to the much needed sleep, I heard that I had received a message.

*Hyuk-ah, I know I promised you that you would be allowed to make the pace and I hope that you won´t be mad at me for breaking this by sending you this text. I just wanted to tell you once more that I really thank you for calling me and spending the night with me talking about many things that happened while we didn´t have any contact at all. I missed you so much and I am happy that you want to give me a chance being in your life once more. I will do everything that I can to keep you in my life this time. I still love you and I can´t wait for you to contact me once more to meet you again. Have sweet dreams and talk to you soon.* I felt so stupid because it made me feel really loved and I could feel how I blushed deeply. It was a good thing that I was alone right now because this was just crazy how my feelings were going crazy and my heartbeat sped up like this with just once small text from Kyuhyun. But I couldn´t deny that I was happy that he send me this text. I reread it for a few times before I finally fell asleep.

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Just a few hours later I was woken up by my phone once more. When I answered the phone, I was immediately greeted by an angry Heechul.

"Yah, where the hell are you? You wanted to be here for lunch at noon but now it´s already half an hour past noon and you are still not here! Is everything alright or..."

"Hyung, please... you just woke me... I will be there in about half an hour and I´ll explain myself, okay? Mianhae that I forgot to inform you beforehand..."

"Alright but hurry okay? We were worried." I could here how Heechul relaxed because he knew that I was okay. I really found myself two amazing friends that actually cared about me and worried about me.

"I will Hyung. See you there soon." I hang up smiling. Eomma, now it really felt like everything could actually turn to the better. But I should better hurry before I will be late a second time for meeting my two friends. So I got up, took a quick shower and went outside. It must have snowed while I was asleep because it was white everywhere and it had become really cold. Everything looked so beautiful. While walking to the restaurant of Hangeng and Heechul, I reread Kyuhyun´s message another few times. Especially the part where he told me that he still loved me. Like this time just flew by and about 25 minutes later I arrived at the restaurant and entered it still smiling brightly. Hangeng came towards me right away and hugged me tightly.

"Don´t ever do this to us again. We were really worried that something happened because this is not like you that you would forget the time and not let us know when you would come by later."

"I´m sorry Hyung. I won´t do it again. It´s just that I didn´t go to bed until around 9 am, so I completely forgot."

"What kept you awake for so long?" Heechul asked who also took me into an embrace as soon as Hangeng let me go.

"Well, I did what you asked me to do..."

"You talked to your ex-boyfriend?!", they both screamed at the same time. I started giggling while the couple in front of me looked surprised to me and then at each other and once more towards me.

"It´s what you wanted, isn´t it?" Hangeng nodded still really shocked by this situation.

"Yes, but we weren´t sure if you would actually go through with this or just pretend that you would have called but not reached him in front of us but it´s good that you did. So how did it feel? What did he say? I want to know just EVERYTHING that you talked about", Heechul said curiously.

"I will but let´s sit down first. I´m still a bit tired after just about three hours of sleep." Both of them just nodded and we sat down in front of the lunch table that the two had prepared for us already.

"Now start.", Heechul just stated already impatiently.

"Yeah, yeah... okay, I tried calling Kyuhyun yesterday..." I immediately stopped, shocked about myself. Had I just said his name out loud?

"Finally we know his name! So his name is Kyuhyun, eh? Okay, keep going. I like that name", Heechul said jokingly and Hangeng also smiled at me encouragingly. I didn´t want this to happen now but it just had to happen at some point, so I should just continue, right?

"Okay... as I just said, I tried calling him but his phone was actually really off and I was thinking about what I should do. But then I thought that I could call his friend who gave me his phone number as well and he actually answered and told me that Kyuhyun was with him... and Kyu was so happy that I called..." Again I couldn´t help myself but to smile, remembering how I felt last night. "And he wanted to meet me right away, so I agreed and we met at TSE and we started talking and he told me that there was nothing going on between my ex best friend and him and that he only just loved me all along... that his feelings never changed and I want to believe him so badly because it just felt so real and honest, you know?" My two friends just smiled at me and nodded. I guess they wanted me to continue telling them about what happened. But for the next thing that I was about to tell them, I couldn´t dare to look them into the eyes because I was already just blushing madly just thinking about it. "We agreed that I would give him a chance to get back into my life at my own pace. He doesn´t want me to forgive him so easily because he wants to fight to earn my trust again. And he really feels very bad for leaving me without any contact to him at all. Especially because he didn´t know about my eomma´s passing away..."

"He didn´t even know that?", Heechul asked surprised. I just shook my head.

"His parents moved with him to Seoul and so no one really was in Daegu anymore... And my ex best friend didn´t tell him about it as well... So he just discovered the truth last night and he cried so hard and he... he was so sorry..." I could feel the tears coming to my eyes again.

"I bet he was and it´s good that he can finally grasp how much he hurt you. Did he tell you anything about his motives for leaving you?", Heechul kept asking.

"He said that he had to fight for his dream and he knew that I couldn´t come with him as long as my mum was still there as I could have never left her behind... And he thought that he wouldn´t have been able to stay away from me if we would have stayed in contact because he also leaned a lot on me... I never actually felt like he did though..."

"I think that it´s really rough that he made such a deep cut, especially because it sounds like the two of you really have a lot of feelings for each other which only happens once in a lifetime that you find a person like this... But I also kind of understand his motives." Hangeng said which made me look at him shocked. "Don´t get me wrong. He should have talked to you more and explained himself before leaving you behind in Seoul and he should have probably stayed in contact with you and everything but to be able to be with someone fully, you have to look out for yourself as well. You have to live your own life and fulfill your own dreams as well because otherwise it might happen that at one point in life you feel like you missed out on everything and this might lead to feeling miserable. Kyuhyun should have never ever shut you out completely and you shouldn´t just forgive him like this because this was the wrong move and he has to feel the consequences of doing this but I think it is really great that you want to give him another chance to be a part of your life again." He was kind of right. I guess the two of us really didn´t think of our dreams because we were so focused to be there for each other. We depended so much on the other and didn´t think of our own lives for most of the time.

"And think about it. You two could work on fulfilling your dreams now, right? He came to Seoul because he felt like his dream could become true here and you also did come here to fulfill your dream of becoming a manager and choreographer. And it seems like you are really succeeding in it", Heechul concluded.

"I am... If I will be able to work things out with Yongguk, that is... But I still don´t know how to face Yongguk after his confesstion. This is all so wrong and I should have..."

"Don´t think about this now. The two of you will now celebrate Christmas and New Year´s without seeing each other and this time will surely help both of you to think about all that happened and maybe Yongguk will come forward to you and you two can talk about it and solve it really quickly", Hangeng stated while smiling warmly at me again. I just nodded and smiled at him as well but in my thoughts, I was really scared that everything wouldn´t work out this way. But eomma, I should believe in myself and in my future, right? Didn´t I just think about an hour ago that everything seemed to fall into place again? I mean, I know that there is still a lot of things that I need to overcome. There were still a lot of talks with Kyuhyun ahead and we would need to see where all of this would lead us to. Then there was my idol group that I really hoped I would be able to keep on working with and debut them as soon as possible... And of course there was still Donghae. I really just didn´t get his motives, especially after hearing Kyuhyun´s point of view. I would have to talk to him about all of this at some point as well because I also wanted him in my life. He has always been my best friend and although I loved my two new best friends and they are and will play a very important role in my life from now on, Donghae was just my first and longest friend and knew me the second best.

"Soo~ what will the three of us be doing for Christmas?", Heechul asked which made me stop thinking about all the things that were going through my head. Hangeng just chuckled.

"That was a good way to end this talk now. Well, Hyuk-ah, you will come to our house and there will be no arguing about it. And other than that, I´m completely open for everything." I smiled at them.

"Thank you two. I really thank you for being my friends and being here for me. You help me a lot." Both of them just smiled happily at me.

"That´s what friends are for", Heechul stated. Yes, I was lucky to have them. And yes, I have done the first step in the right direction with Kyuhyun. I would just have to take baby steps from now on as well and everything will turn to the better for sure. After all, you are always looking out for me, eomma. Right?

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Sooo~~~ here is finally the next chapter of this story. I wanted to update before my vacation in September but there was just too much going on and then I was gone for three weeks on vacation and after my vacation life was just too busy. I hope I´ll be able to update more regularly again from now on. I hope that you liked this chapter. Not much going on but there will be more action again soon ^.^

As always please leave a comment and thanks to everyone who reads my story! Love you all~ <3