Christmas with my two friends Heechul and Hangeng had been extremely nice and almost perfect. It made me feel happy again which I haven´t felt for the last three Christmas because I had been alone. I thought of my eomma a lot. She was probably just as happy as me that I was finally able to enjoy family holidays again. Kyuhyun had been busy with different performances he had to do over the holidays but we still texted or talked on the phone almost every single day. And now it was already New Year´s Eve. Soon there would be a new year and this could also mean a brand new start for me. A turning point to make everything better and to feel more secure, self-confident and happy for once again. I was on my way to the TSE building to do some training before I would meet my two new best friends at their restaurant. They would have to work all night long but we still wanted to celebrate into the new year together. Just when I was about to enter the dance practice room, my phone vibrated.

*Hyuk-ah, I can´t wait to finally see you again. Where will you go to celebrate tonight?* I smiled to myself. So much for everything goes at my pace. But I was so happy that we had so much contact.

*Gonna celebrate with Hanchul in their restaurant. You have a stage tonight at Gayo Daejun, ne?* My smile got even wider because Kyuhyun had named them Hanchul when I told him about those two. He always said to me that when he will meet them for the first time, he will thank them a million times for taking care of me after meeting me. Just the thought about this made me blush once more. I really was still too much in love with this man.

*Ne, but after I would be completely free for 24 hours.* I giggled. I was really happy that no one was around right now because that would be way too embarassing as I was behaving like a teenage girl. I just shook my head to forget this thought once more. Should I tell him to come over? I wanted to see him as well. It was just better to actually talk face to face than those texts and phone calls that we had over the last few days.

*You want to come meet me then after the show?*

*Of course! I was hoping you would ask me. Thank you, Hyuk-ah. Where should I go after the show? To the restaurant so that I can meet your two friends? Really thank you Hyuk-ah.* I blushed even more. Once more I looked around to make sure that no one else was in the building right now before texting him back.

*Sure but is that really alright if you will come to a public place to meet me?* I was really worrying about this because if anyone would see him being with me in public, it would make things even more complicated. And I was sure that he had some fans that would follow him around everywhere. Still I wanted Kyu to meet my friends and especially my friends to meet Kyu. I was curious on what they would say about my ex-boyfriend. Or was this meeting too early? Why was I worrying like this again? Hangeng and Heechul would definitely keep it to themselves who my ex-boyfriend is. I trusted them.

*The restaurant won´t be open the whole night, ne? And it will definitely be at least 2 am till I could be there. But I will call you beforehand, okay? So you will know when I could be there or if I should come in a bit later. But I will come there. I´m so looking forward to seeing you tonight. I have to go back to practice now. I love you, Hyuk-ah. See you tonight.*

*Arraseo. Call me. I´m happy to see you tonight as well.* I re-read this text for a few times before actually sending it. It might have been not that good to send such texts. But I wanted to go with the flow and to really do this, I just had to text and say everything that comes to my mind first without worrying too much. I put my phone away, still smiling brightly when I saw that someone had entered the dance practice room.

"Hyung..."

"Yongguk-ah, what are you doing here? Is everything alright?" He nodded but looked away ashamed. "You want to sit down and talk to me for a bit?" Again he just nodded and sat down without looking at me. How should I start this talk? I was just as nervous as him probably. "How were your..."

"Hyung, I´m so sorry!", he almost screamed. I was surprised by this but smiled soon after.

"Don´t be but..."

"You know, I really shouldn´t have confessed to you like this or at all for that matter. And I especially shouldn´t have just left without explaining myself. It´s not the I love you that you probably think now. I just love you as my Hyung because you taught me so much and I felt like I would lose you to Youngjae because you like him that much and he has such a power over you and I just thought that at some point you wouldn´t have that much time for me anymore and I was scared and...", he started babbling.

"Yongguk-ah, it´s okay", I tried to calm him down and stop talking nonstop. I was sincerely relieved that he was talking about a different I love you. This made everything so much easier again. Now he finally looked at me and I smiled at him to try and make him feel better again as well. "But next time just come and talk to me about your insecurities, arraseo?" He just nodded. "And don´t be scared of anything. Yes, you are right that Youngjae has kind of a power over me but that doesn´t change anything between the two of us. We will still keep on writing on our songs and practice on your rapping together. Nothing will change between the two of us. The only thing different is that there is one more Dongsaeng for us. So please don´t make it tough on Youngjae, okay? He really is a nice kid and he wants the best for all of us."

"I will try Hyung... I just wanted to get this off my chest before the new year starts because my mum always says that you have to try and start the new year on good terms with everyone who is important to you." I smiled at him again.

"And she is absolutely right about this. I´m happy you came forward and talked this through."

"Me too, Hyung. I have to go now because my sister is waiting outside for me. I just wanted to tell you this." We both got up and I hugged him.

"Thanks for stopping by and we will continue practice in a week. So be ready and try to write on some lyrics during these days."

"I will. See you soon, Hyung." I was so happy that I got this out of the way. Another huge weight had been lifted off of me. So he wasn´t in love with me but just loved me as his Hyung. I sighed relieved. Alright, then I better practice some more now.

After about three hours of practicing and a quick shower, I was now entering the restaurant of Heechul and Hangeng with a bright smile on my lips. I couldn´t remember the last day I had actually been this happy and relaxed. So it was probably really time for me to feel this way again. As soon as I entered, Hangeng was already on his way towards me and hugged me.

"You look really happy today. What´s going on?"

"Too much good things happening at the same time I would say."

"Oh yeah and what is that?", asked Heechul who had also joined us. I just shrugged and sat down at the bar area. "Yah, talk to us and don´t just smile like this. It´s creepy." Hangeng boxed his boyfriend for this comment which made me laugh.

"Yongguk came looking for me and he let me know that he doesn´t love me as a man but just as a Hyung and that he was scared of losing me to Youngjae and not having anymore time for him."

"So this problem is solved then. That really is a relief but is that all? It seems like this wouldn´t be enough to make you this ecstatic", Heechul commented. I smiled at him even brighter and shook my head.

"No, it´s not all. Kyuhyun texted me and he will stop by later. He really wants to meet you guys." Both of them were really shocked which made me laugh again. "So, can I order now that I have..."

"Are you kidding me?! You really will introduce us to him tonight? When will he be here? I will kick everyone out immediately if...", Heechul started.

"Woah, slow down Hyung", I interrupted him. "He won´t be able to make it till like 2 am or something. But he will call me as soon as he is free and can come here. So no worries. Do your work and be nice to your guests. You need the money after all. And I actually need food now. I practiced for three hours and I was very productive but now I am really hungry." Hangeng just smiled at me while Heechul was still in kind of a shock state I would say.

"Honey, why don´t you go over to table 12. I think they want to order and what can I get you, Hyuk-ah?"

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Finally there is a new chapter for this story (although it´s way too short T_T). Just when I wanted to start writing on this story again, this whole lawsuit-thing with B.A.P happened and I was so pissed at TSE that there was just so much going wrong behind the scenes T_T I really cried when I heard how they were mistreated by TSE and so happy that they want to go through this together! I just couldn´t write on this story as long as I didn´t know what was going on with them and it was so quiet around B.A.P for a long time... but now they are active more again and it makes me so damn happy. Of course it is mostly a Kyuhyuk-story but still... So really mianhae for being away for this long again but I hope this chapter will make up for it a bit.

As always, please leave a comment and thank you for staying with me and also thank you to all my subscribers and readers and upvotes. I love you guys~