I still couldn´t believe that I was sitting here with two absolute strangers who have just outed themselves in front of me. How could anyone be so confident to just walk up to a stranger and tell him that you were a couple? I mean a gay couple? For me it was hard to show hardly anyone that Kyuhyun and I had been together although at some point all our friends and family of course knew about us being together. It was hard at some point but everyone accepted us as we lived on the countryside and there just wasn´t too much that could go wrong. I mean, I knew that in a city like Seoul it was hard to be open about such a relationship. But here they were, smiling at me and trying to talk with me.

"I´m sure that you still have to be shocked after what I just told you so blantly. But I just wanted to be open with you from the beginning, you know?" I just nodded although all of this still didn´t make any sense.

"Do you maybe need a drink to calm down your nerves?", Hangeng offered. I just nodded again. I mean, I really didn´t know what I should say to everything that was happening here right now. And I really needed my first drink of my life right now. "I can understand. Let me get us some soju then." Just two minutes later, he came back with three shot glasses and three bottles of soju. "There you go. Let´s hope that this will help a bit to loosen up." He smiled at me. Hangeng seemed to be a really nice guy. The first impression was great. Heechul probably was also a nice guy but he seemed rather crazy and talkative which was new for me to meet someone like this.

"Thank you, Hangeng-sshi."

"Sure. Let´s drink one shot first and then let´s start introducing us some more." And that´s what we did. I drank the shot in one go as you are supposed to. Wow, this burns. I knew why I never wanted to drink alcohol before. But whatever. At some point I had to try it, right?

"Well then, how about I go first?", Heechul asked. I just nodded because I definitely didn´t want to be the first to introduce myself. I was still not so sure of what I should tell them and what I should keep to myself. If I should tell them anything actually. How should I know that this would help me? What if everything would go even crazier from that moment on? Well, could my life get any worse anyways? Maybe this would really get me back on track if I would just talk to them. Yes I should stay with this decision from now on. "Okay, so I´m Kim Heechul, this restaurant here belongs to me for almost three years now. I´m 26 years old and I used to be a model when I was younger and still doing what my parents told me to do without me questioning anything. Well what else is there to tell you? Hangeng and I have been together for five years now?" Heechul looked questionably towards his boyfriend.

"You are terrible with numbers but yes it´s been almost five years now. He never seems to be able to remember when we actually got together", Hangeng stated with a smile on his lips which made his boyfriend pout.

"Yah, I still remember everything perfectly fine Mister. So don´t talk like this." The other just chuckled. Alright, I have to say this already - they seem to be incredibly cute. You could tell from the first second on that they had been together for a few years already. It was nice to see that it was actually possible to be together for a longer time as a gay couple. Of course three years ago, I still thought that it would be possible for Kyuhyun and me as well. How things can actually change in three years. Now I didn´t know if there was still a future. If I would ever be able to really talk to my ex-boyfriend again?

"Okay, so I´m Hangeng. I´m sure you heard from my little accent that I am not Korean. I moved here from China when I was 18, so seven years ago. Heechul was one of the first persons I met here."

"Why did you want to move to Korea?", I asked him because I was actually curious.

"Well, I wanted to become an idol but seven years ago, it was still rather hard to become an idol when you weren´t Korean, so I gave up on this rather soon and Heechul and I tried some different things for a while until he decided that he wanted to have a restaurant and that´s when we bought this one here."

"So did your dream change or did you just see no future as a possible Chinese idol?" Hangeng smiled at me.

"I´m glad to see that you are really loosening up a bit. My dreams changed after Heechul and I had become a couple. You know it would already been hard to become an idol but it would have been even harder to be away from Heechul if I would have succeeded. So we wanted to start something together as I had almost no chance to even talk to my family as they weren´t happy of me coming to Korea and then not following my dream. He is my whole family now."

"And I will be here forever BUT that doesn´t matter right now because it is unfair that we talk so much but you didn´t even properly introduce yourself to us until this moment. So~ who are you, how old are you, what is it you do for a living? Just everything." Heechul smiled at me. He really was talkative and he didn´t seem to be this patient as well.

"Heechul-ah. Let´s give him a few more minutes to adjust to this whole situation."

"It´s okay, Hangeng-sshi. He is right. It is my turn before we can continue talking. I´m Lee Hyukjae but everyone now calls me Eunhyuk which is kind of my so-called stage name as I didn´t want my ex-boyfriend to discover that I was here in Seoul. I´m 23 years old and I am a manager, songwriter and choreographer for the still small company TS Entertainment. And the guys that I come here with are the boyband that I will manage at one point."

"Woah, so young and already such a career? Can I listen to one of your songs?", Heechul asked. Oh no, I really didn´t feel like showing any of my songs to them. All the songs that I wrote lately were all about my feelings towards Kyuhyun. That would be way too embarassing to show to those two already now. They would know right away that I was just love sick.

"At the moment I can´t really finish many songs or it´s songs that I want my boyband to sing when they debut, so I can´t really tell anything. I´m sorry but at some point you will hear some of my songs for sure."

"So, the guy you were here with this afternoon was also one of the boys for your boyband?", Hangeng asked and I nodded.

"I just convinced him to join today and he just happened to be there when my ex-best-friend showed up this afternoon with some news. So he could figure out quite easily that I was gay which you seem to have overheard earlier as you already knew that I was gay, right?"

"Yeah, I´m sorry about that. I really don´t like to hear personal talks of our guests but sometimes I just happen to be at the wrong place at the wrong time and I just heard him asking you if you were gay and that you nodded. I didn´t know if I should really talk to you about it but when I told Heechul about this, he just was too excited and wanted to get to know you right away. And well, now this happened." Hangeng chuckled shortly. I also smiled. I just couldn´t help it. How was this even possible that those two made me smile after everything that I still had to process inside my head?

"There´s that smile", Heechul said while chuckling right away. I looked at him puzzled. "Well, I was wondering when we would be able to make you smile again. So~ what exactly happened between you and your ex-best-friend that your newest student already knows that you are gay?" My smile faded again right away. At some point I knew that they would ask this question. I mean it was legimite to ask this, right? But I really didn´t know if I actually wanted to talk about this already. Should I just let it out? It would be so great to finally be able and tell someone about everything that was going on in my life. Maybe then it wouldn´t tear me down like it is at the moment? Aish, why did everything have to be so freaking complicated? I just want something that could go easy.

"Great Heechul. Did you have to ask such a personal question right away again? This has to make him feel uncomfortable. And I just thought that we would finally be able to make him feel better while talking to us."

"What? If we want to be able to help him get over whatever is bothering him at the moment, we will have to know the truth about what is going on, don´t we? And you know that I don´t like to talk about not important things." Were they actually arguing because of what Heechul asked?

"Yeah, yeah, I know your patience isn´t the best at all but come one. How do you think you would feel if you would be in..." It really seemed like they wanted to get to know me sincerely.

"You don´t have to argue because of me", I simply stated which made them stop and look at me right away. I poured myself another shot and drank it in one go again. "I will tell you about what happened but I won´t tell you any names because that might just cause trouble."

"Of course. You don´t have to tell us any names or anything", Hangeng said immediately and smiled at me once more. Well this was the moment that I would actually open myself up to someone, wasn´t it? Could I really do this? Maybe I should take another shot. This might just help me to get the final confidence to do it. Eomma, do you think I make the right choice in opening up to someone? Or did you send those two to me now as well so that I would finally have some real friends again in my life? I sure as hell could use some real friends. My thought were the same for the last minutes ever since my talk to the couple in front of me started. I couldn´t receive any answer if I wouldn´t try it. Well, Lee Hyukjae, let´s do this!

"I used to be in a relationship with my ex-boyfriend back in my hometown. We were together for three years and then he just ended things because he wanted to come to Seoul to live his dream. I didn´t know about his plans until the day before he left for Seoul..." I told them about my whole life, about my break-up with Kyu, about my mum and how she died, about Donghae and how he came looking for me and at the very end about how Kyuhyun had just shown up in front of TSE today with two friends. I could feel how I somehow felt better after telling someone about everything. Hangeng and Heechul didn´t interrupt me even once. They even didn´t say anything when I stayed silent for a few minutes to think about the way I should tell them about some parts of my story. I guess they didn´t know what to say to me as well. It was hard to hold back my tears.

"Well, that was quite a story...", Heechul started after a while.

"First of all, I want to say that I´m really sorry that you lost your parents so soon in your life. That must have been really hard, especially because you had to go through so much all alone." Now I couldn´t hold back any longer and my tears started to flow again. I didn´t even know that I would still be able to cry after all the tears that had already fallen today.

"Thank you...", was all that I was able to say. I could feel that they were both sincere and that they were really thinking about what they should tell me so that they wouldn´t hurt me. It felt so good to be with them. Maybe it was really the right choice to tell them about my life.

"I don´t know if I step over a line or anything, but I would rather belive your ex-boyfriend in everything. I´m not saying that his way of handling things with you back then when you broke up was right. Trust me, I would have kicked his if we would have known each other back then already... but to me it sounds like your ex-best-friend is actually trying to keep you away from your ex-boyfriend because he wants to have a chance with the guy that he is in love with no matter the consequences. But to be really sure I would of course have to meet them at some point", Heechul stated and I looked up at him shocked. "Ani, I didn´t mean like now or even soon. I want you to be able to trust us first before you tell us any names or even introduce us to them. But I still think that at some point you will have to talk to your ex-boyfriend about everything..."

"I don´t think...", I started but was interrupted by Hangeng.

"What my boyfriend wanted to try to tell you is that it is important for you to talk to your ex-boyfriend calmly at some point when you have found your place in life because until this day you weren´t really able to process what happened when you two broke up. If you ever want to really leave everything behind you, you will have to talk to your ex-boyfriend at some point. And maybe then you will know if you two will have a future again or if you will finally feel free to be able and find yourself a different boyfriend."

"And we will help you to find a new one or get back together with your ex-boyfriend if you need us." I wiped away my tears and I was finally able to show a little smile again which made the couple in front of me relax a bit again as well.

"Thank you... Really thank you. It means a lot to me that you listened to everything and that you are talking to me like this... I-I don´t mean to be rude or seem impolite or anything... I´m just really, really tired after everything that I´ve been through up till now and I have a lot of stuff going on tomorrow again and..."

"We understand. Just give me your number real quick and then go home and sleep a bit", Hangeng stated with a smile.

"And if you have the time, you better show up here again tomorrow for dinner, got that?", Heechul said firmly. I smiled and nodded. "Oh and if either your ex-boyfriend or your ex-best-friend show up in front of your company, you call us as well and I will kick some ." I couldn´t help myself and started laughing. "I´m glad we could make you laugh at the end after all. But today really was just about you being able to tell us about your past. When we meet next time, we will talk about more happy things and we will tell some more about us as well, okay Hyukjae-sshi?" I smiled and nodded. I started to feel more secure the longer I stayed with those two. After that we exchanged numbers, hugged each other and said our goodbyes before I went back to my apartment.

This had been such a crazy day. First Youngjae showed up and then Donghae came before Kyuhyun also showed up tonight and I met two guys who could actually become my friends. I guess now I could really look forward to tomorrow and the next few weeks or even years. Maybe now nothing worse could happen? What do you think eomma? I think it was really time for the start of my life getting better and I want to fight for this. Please give me more strength again to be able to pull through. I really need it...

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Yayyyyyy finally Hyukkie finds some friends ^.^ I´m sorry but I´m just so happy that I could finally give Hyukkie some friends :P I really hope that you like the Hanchul-couple as Hyukkie´s friends as well.

As always thank you to all that are reading. Please leave a comment and let me know what you thought of this chapter. Love you~~~