It had been almost 6 months now since Kyuhyun had left for Seoul. We really hadn't talked even once since then. I tried calling him several times in the beginning but he never answere or called me back. No matter how much it hurt and how much it still hurts, I had to let him go. Now I had to look after my own life and I was pretty preoccupied with working, giving dance lessons to kids so that I could dance for free after for about two hours per day and in between and after taking care of my mum. At least this was what I kept telling myself. My dreams were still about Kyuhyun every single night. If I was honest, somehow really everything changed but still stayed the same in so many ways as well. I don't even know how I should actually explain all this.

Donghae and I had just finished teaching the kids and started to try some of our own moves.

"Hyukjae, I have to tell you something..." We looked at each other in the mirror. I was scared as my best friend was looking at me with a worried look.

"What is it?", I asked almost non-audible.

"I told you for years that one day I would like to audition again for SM Entertainment when they will come here again and now they will be here next week. I want to audition with acting, dancing and singing. I just wanted to let you know... I mean it doesn't mean that I will be accepted this time or anything but... IF everything works out, I will have to go to Seoul as well... It's just that you should hear about this from me and it wouldn't change much for us as I will forever stay your best friend and one day you will move to Seoul as well and then..." It felt like someone would pull away the floor under my feet. But it was Donghae's dream for years to become an actor and maybe idol as well. Who was I to ever step between him and his dream. So I faked a smile and interrupted him.

"Don't worry, Hae. I really hope that you will be accepted. If you need someone to support you at the audition, let me know, okay? I will be there for you and I will forever be your number one fan." Donghae sighed relieved. He must have really been worried that I would cry and scream at him. If I would be honest, that was exactly what I felt like doing but Donghae didn't deserve this. Through the last six months he had been there for me to help me be strong for my mum and also a bit for myself. Now it was time that I could finally be there for him.

"It would be great if you could come to the audition with me. It's going to take place in exactly a week. So Friday at 1 pm."

"I will be there. And now let's dance some more. You need to practice even more now if you want to impress those SM Entertainment people", I winked and started dancing again. Donghae said that one day I would come to Seoul as well. I wasn't so sure about this anymore. My life was here and why should I go to Seoul anyways. My dreams have ended the day that Kyuhyun had left me. But it didn't matter now. We practiced in silence after that for another two hours.

After showering I bought dinner for me and my mum and went home. I went straight to my mums room.

"Eomma, I'm back home. How are you feeling?"

"Always the same, Hyukjae-ah. Always the same. How was your day?"

"It was pretty good. Work was like always and dance practice was really fun. Those kids are so bright and always smiling. You would love to watch them."

"I would but you seem kind of down today, honey. What is it? Did something happen?" I could never hide my feelings from her. She could always sense if something was wrong. Maybe that was the power of every mother or was it just mine?

"Donghae told me today that he would audition for SM Entertainment next week as well. And I know that he is good so he will probably be casted this time. So my only friend will leave for Seoul as well. But I'm happy for him and I like my life here. I couldn't just leave everything behind..."

"You mean that you couldn't leave me behind, right? But Hyukjae-ah, you have to live you dreams at some point as well."

"I don't have any dreams anymore, eomma. The only thing I want is to be here for you and to keep on teaching dancing to those kids. Nothing else..." I put the food for my mum on the nightstand which could be used as a table in bed as well.

"Who are you trying to convince of this? I know that you had more dreams than just being with Kyuhyun and being there for me. I can still remember when you told me that you want to go to Seoul and you want to become a choreographer and songwriter. Maybe you should really go to Seoul with Donghae then. You can't just..."

"Eomma, I'm happy, chincharo, I'm happy. I won't leave you here alone." She smiled at me and brushed my cheek lightly.

"I know that you love me but promise me that you will think of your dreams. Don't forget to fight for your dreams as well."

"Dae, arraso, eomma. But now eat a bit. You must be hungry, right?"

"I am... did you see that Kyuhyun will debut soon?" I nodded, already holding back tears again.

"KRY... yes I read the articles online and I already saw the teaser as well. He looks good."

"I think the boy lost too much weight to be honest. And he doesn't look as happy as when he was here with you."

"EOMMA! You know that I don't want to talk about this..."

"But you have to fight for him. If he really is your biggest dream, then fight for him."

"He doesn't want me in his life anymore. And again, eomma, I really don't want to talk about him." I know she just wants to cheer me up and make me fight for what I want again but it backfires if she keeps going on like this. She should know this as we had this talk way too many nights before in the last couple of months. Even though it hurt to know that Kyuhyun was gone and wouldn't come back to my life, I was kind of happy for him. Finally he was able to debut as a singer with two others as KRY which stood for the three names of them. I followed his every step. I couldn't let him go as he let me go. After this we ate dinner in silence. "Try and sleep some more now. I will clean a bit and then go to bed as well. Jaljayo and saranghaeyo."

"I love you too my son. I will always love you." She smiled at me again and nodded lightly. I gave her a kiss on the cheek and then went to the kitchen to start cleaning there.

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The next morning I woke up by the alarm, showered and then went to the kitchen to make some tea and breakfast for my mum before I had to go to work again. When I went to her room, everything was still quiet. I put the tea down, opened the curtains and tried to wake her up.

"Eomma, wake up. It's time for your medicine." She didn't react, so I shook her lightly. "Eomma..." Still no reaction. I was starting to get scared so I shook her a bit more strongly and then tried to feel her pulse. It was still there but it was very, very weak. I immediately took my phone out and called the ambulance. Did everything have to turn worse now? Couldn't at least something go to the better again? "Eomma, you can't leave me alone now as well... Please, you have to get through this..." My tears were running down my cheeks. And the minutes until the ambulance finally arrived seemed like hours to me. On the way to the hospital, I called my boss to tell him why I wouldn't come to work and texted Donghae real quick.

"We will need to get her into the OP right away", a nurse told me as soon as we arrived at the hospital. I nodded and let go of my mum's hand which I had been holding the whole time. "Is there anyone that we can call for you? Maybe your friend?" The nurse already knew me from the other visits to the hospital with my mum over the last couple of months. I just shook my head.

"Thank you but he is at work and there's no one else I could call..." She nodded with a small smile.

"Okay, then sit down and I'll let you know as soon as I know something, okay?" I nodded lightly. My tears didn't stop from falling. There was nothing that I could do against it. And I didn't have the power to do anything against it either. Why did all of this have to happen to me? Why did this have to happen to my mum? Did she already feel this last night and that's why she kept pushing me to think of my dreams? No, she couldn't have known this, could she? Is it possible to feel when your life... No, I have to stay positive! She'll get through this again. My mum was a fighter after all. She had fought this illness for ten years now. She wouldn't give up and leave me alone now. I know she can get through this. All I need now is distraction. Although I really didn't know how to distract myself at all...

It were the longest three hours in my life when finally the nurse and a doctor came to me. I could already tell by the way they came towards me that something wasn't right at all. There seemed to be bad news.

"No...", was all I could say.

"I'm really sorry, Lee-shi but there was nothing that we could do for your mother. Her lungs gave up and therefore she was too weak for the operation. She didn't make it... I really am sorry. If there is anything..."

"Can I see her?" That's all I cared for right now. I wanted to see her. I wanted to be able to say goodbye to her. The doctor nodded and told the nurse to take me to my mum. She supported me and put an arm around me. There she was lying on the bed, not moving anymore. Slowly I went forward and knelt in front of the bed, taking my mums hand in mine. It felt like my heart which was dead already had been ripped out of my chest completely now. What was there left for me now in this world? "Eomma..." She wanted me to fight for my dreams. Those were one of her last words to me. "I promise eomma... I will become stronger and I will fight for my dreams once again... I promise... I'll do it all for you..."

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So here is the next chapter already ^.^ My poor baby has to suffer too much until now in this story T_T Well, I'll try to make everything better slowly now for him ^.^

Thanks for the first comments on this story and thank you even more for my subscribers that I already gained and all the upvotes :') I don't even know how I deserve all this! Really thank you and I'll try to update one more chapter this weekend because I probably won't be able to update during the week because of work and so on... Love you all <33