Just last night we had been happily sitting on the couch like we had done for the last three years ever since we had become a couple. I still can't believe that it has been three years. I mean you were only 15 and I was 17 when we got together. But I just enjoyed every single second of our time. And now my best friend Donghae had told me that you would leave for Seoul. I had to hear those news from someone else. Everything was different now and I didn't know how to start a conversation this night. Still I went to your apartment like every night after work and dance practice. When you opened the door, I noticed right away that you were different as well. I could sense that you didn't know how to tell me about your plans. You kissed me shortly and looked away again.

"What is wrong Kyu?", I asked although I already knew about everything.

"We need to talk... I..." We sat down on the same couch but it felt so distant. Kyuhyun looked at his hands and bited his lips. He always did this when he was nervous. I knew this because I knew him like no one else. I guess I should make this a bit easier on him. Will it be easier if I tell him that I already know?

"I already heard the news of you leaving for Seoul but I don't,,, when did this happen and why?" He looked up surprised. I could feel how he stared at me but I didn't feel strong enough to look at him as well. I have never been strong. Kyuhyun had always been my pillar of strength.

"There has been a casting last week by SM Entertainment and I went there. This morning they called me and told me that they want me to join their Entertainment so that I could debut after a bit of training with two others as an idol group... Hyukkie, you know that this has always been my dream and I also told you that I would follow this path if..."

"But I thought that we would go to Seoul together at some point. Isn't this what we have planned as well?"

"How do you think this would work? You need to stay here for your mum. You can't just leave Jeju and go to Seoul with me." He was right. I couldn't just leave everything behind like he did it now. I had to think of my mum. This was the main concern that I had and he just knew this. He has been working for this as well. To be there for me and my mum. "And I can't wait for much longer or I will be way too old to ever become an idol... I need to fulfill my dream." I always wanted you to be able to become a singer. You know this.

"So you will just leave me like this? You will leave me behind and go to Seoul?"

"I can't be together with a guy when I will become an idol and I will NEVER be able to tell the world about us either." I couldn't believe that you actually said those words. It hurt far worse to hear you say something like this than to discover that you would leave the city. Never have you been this cold. I just couldn't understand how you could change this fast.

"So you don't even want to stay in contact with me? You just want to leave all this behind?"

"Didn't I just tell you this? I need to do this to be able to fulfill my dream. My moment has come and I have to follow my path. You need to understand this." I stood up from the couch. Crying was not an option now.

"Just tell me one thing more before I go." Kyuhyun looked up to me and nodded. "Tell me how am I supposed to live without you?" He looked shocked and speechless to hear this question. "You're dream might become reality now but my dream ends with this. But I hope for you that everything will work out and you will be able to become a famous singer as you have always dreamt of. I hope you will become happy." With saying this, I just couldn't stay in this apartment any longer. I needed to get out. It was the end of our time anyways.

It felt like a dream when I walked home. It was raining and my clothes soon were soaked but I didn't care. Nothing was important right now. Nothing. All I felt was the cold inside. My heart was broken and I knew that everything was different now. Suddenly Donghae was there right before me and I ran into him.

"Hyukjae-shi, what happened? Is it because of Kyu?" I looked into his eyes and finally my tears started to fall. Desperately I clung to him.

"Donghae-shi... How am I supposed to live without him? How am I supposed to carry on?" Putting his arms around me, he took me to his place. Still the only question inside my had stayed the same. How am I supposed to live without him?

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Wow this has been depressing to write but it needs to be like this :( ... I know it's a really short first chapter but it's kind of a foreword so to speak ^.^ It would be great if you would leave a comment so that I know if you will keep on reading or if this story sounds stupid... Thanks to everyone who reads it <3333 I'll try to update a longer chapter this weekend!