“Yoo Amber guess who’s here to visit you??!!!” Shannon basically screamed into the phone. I grimaced as I quickly pulled the phone away from my ear. “Amber? Am? Are you there?”.

“Uhh yeah Im here. It’s just that I don’t think I will be able to hear anyone for the next few hours.” I chuckled. I could actually see Shannon pouting right now. “Anyway, who’s here?”

“I’m not gonna tell you now that you hurt my feeling.” Shannon huffed. Now it was my turn to pout.

“Aww I’m sorry that your voice was too loud but it wasn’t my fault. I was just stating the fact.”

“Whatever, I’m not gonna tell you so you gotta come and see for yourself.” And with that she ended the call. I stood in the middle of my room thinking she could possibly be right now. Well since she didn’t tell me, I just sat on my bed waiting for her to text or call me. About 5 minutes later, I finally got a text from AILEE?? So, she finally came here. She asked me where I was and Shannon told her that I was supposed to pick her up from the airport right now. I widened my eyes and hurriedly changed my clothes. I grabbed the car key and drove to the airport. Soon I was at the airport and I spotted Ailee right away. She was wearing her casual clothes but she was also wearing a mask and a black cap and Shannon was standing right besides her. Ailee waved as she soon as she saw me driving toward them. I stopped my car in front of them and quickly got out of the car and hugged my goldfish. We hadn’t seen each other for a really long time since I came here without telling anyone. I wondered who told her. Hmm who else besides Shannon.

“I miss you sooo much Ambeer!” Ailee said into my ears.

“I miss you more goldfish!” She squealed as I lifted her and twirled her around. Shannon finished putting Ailee’s luggages into the truck and went inside the car waiting for us. We broke the hug and got into the car.

“So what brings you here? I thought you’re busy with your new album?” I asked as we drove out of the airport. There were so many people coming during the summer.

“I’m taking a break obviously and I come check up on you.” Ailee answered. I looked at Shannon through the mirror and saw her sticking her tongue out at me.

“As you can see right now, I am better but thank you. I don’t have to ask who told you do I?” I glared at Shannon who returned the glare back with the same intensity. I chuckled and let out a smile.

“Yep! It was Shannon but I was the one who had to force her to tell me everything.” She said with worried eyes. She took off her mask and cap and put it on her lap.  She glanced at me and continued,”You know you didn’t have to come here secretly because I was worried sick about you and you even turned off your phone...I called every friends of ours in Korea but they have no clue until I called Shannon who hesitantly answered my questions. Even Luna was wondering where you went but don’t worry. I just told her that you came here to visit your family.” No one uttered a single word after that. I felt really guilty.

“I’m really sorr--”.

“We can talk about it later. I’m hungry right now so buy me food.” Ailee cut me off and pat her stomach. I thanked her mentally.

“Soo? Jack in the Box?” I asked and looked at them.

“Heck yeah!!” Shannon shouted. Ailee just nodded and giggled. I drove to the nearest JITB and after that we went to Gong Cha. I paid for everything as usual. I sweared these girls only liked me because I bought them foods. We ate our food at the park near our and we just talked about things except for that one topic. I dropped Shannon and Ailee at their own apartment and returned back to my house. I ate dinner with my parents and Jackie and went to my room after that. I laid on my bed after taking a shower and brushing my teeth. I faced the ceiling and smiled to myself. But soon, the smile slowly disappeared and tears were all over my face. I didn’t bother wiping those tears. I just let it flow down my face one after another. I curled into a ball hugging my small body pillow as I sobbed. I cried until my chest hurt but my sobbing did not stop even if I tried to.

“I can’t believe you’re going back today goldfish.” I pouted at Ailee. She stayed here for like less than two weeks. We got to hang out a lot though. We went to see many movies together with our other friends. We ate, laughed, smiled and cried together. For the first time in many months, I felt alive again. But, time went by too fast and now we all were standing in front of the gate saying goodbye to Ailee. Ailee smiled and pat my head. Other friends came and hugged her one by one and left since they had to go to work.

“I can come back again later Am. It’s not like this is the last time we’re gonna see each other.” She said as she pulled me into a very tight bear hug. “Don’t forget what I said yesterday though. It is really important.” Ailee seriously said as she loosened our hug.

“I won’t forget it Amy. Thank you for everything. Thank you for coming here.” I took a deep breath and broke our hug since it was time for her to go. She smiled and waved at me for the last time before she disappeared into the airport. I sighed and drove back to my house. I thought about when we finally sat down and talked about it yesterday at her apartment.

Flashback (in italic)

“So Am, do you have anything that you wanna tell me?” Ailee asked after our friends left her apartment.

“About what?” I pretended to not know what she was inferring to.

“You know what I’m talking about Amber. Don’t try to avoid this topic. Today is my last day here so can you please me what happened that made you decide to come here without telling anyone?”. Ailee pressed on and sat right in front me. “I won’t go back to Korea tomorrow if you don’t tell me.” And I could not let her do that even though I really wanted her to stay but her comeback was far more important than my problem.

“Kai and Krystal date….that’s what happened.” I gritted my teeth as I said both of their names.

“And you don’t like it? Why?” Ailee asked although I knew that she clearly knew the reason why.

“BECAUSE I ING LOVE HER AILEE!” I shouted in despair that my tears came out again. I crushed the can of beer in my hand with all of my force. “IT HURTS….IT FREAKING HURTS SOO BAAD TO SEE SOMEONE YOU HAVE LOVED FOR YEARS GET TOGETHER WITH SOMEONE THAT IS NOT YOU! IT HURTS THAT YOU HAVE TO PRETEND EVERYTHING IS ALRIGHT THAT NOTHING IS BOTHERING YOU EVEN THOUGH IT IS ALL LIES….I WAS THE ONE WHO KEPT IT A SECRET WHEN HE CAME TO OUR DORM…..” I calmed down a bit but all the memories flashed across my mind like it was a ing projector. ”It really hurts. The pain is all real. I know that it will only hurt me if I care too much, if I love too much...but I didn’t listen to myself and just keep loving and caring more than I should. I kept telling myself that I should give up on her but I can’t. She looks so happy though whenever he’s around. They can’t keep their eyes off each other. While I...I was there the whole time preventing any rumors and news about them. I was there when they want to hang out so they could use me as excuse. Guess I was really stupid to volunteer to do all that. They say love makes you stupid and do things that you think that you couldn’t do. I guess they are right…I become so stupid that I didn’t realize that I was hurting myself. I just…I just want to see her smile not frown. I was willing to do anything to keep that smile on her face even if I have to give up my own happiness. If she’s happy with him right now, why does it hurt here inside my chest?! WHY DO I HAVE TO FEEL THIS WAY ALL THE ING TIME?!!”

I did not care about anything anymore. I just let it all out. All the walls I had built for months, they came crashing down just like that. I let go of the crushed can and covered my face and continued to weep loudly. Ailee sat down next to me and wrapped her arms around me whispering that everything was going to be fine. After a while, I finally calmed down and wiped all my tears away. Ailee pat my back up and down my back slowly and let go of me. She looked at me face and was really shocked and I did not know why. Did I cry too much that my face is swollen?

“Amber why is your face full of blood?” Ailee exclaimed worriedly, touching my face. I immediately looked at my hands and saw that my right hand was still bleeding but not that bad. I waved my right hand in front of her face and grinned innocently like a child. Ailee sighed in relief and tried to drag me to the sink. I thought that I cried a little bit too much that I lost my energy to stand.

“I’m too lazy to stand.” I gave her a small smile. Ailee nodded and let go of my arm. She went into her room probably finding her first aid kit. I sighed and looked down at the floor thinking about what I said a while ago. It was uncalled for me say all that stuff. I should had kept everything in. I did not notice Ailee sitting down next to me until she gently took my hand from my lap.

“What did you do llama?” Ailee asked as she was cleaning my palm with alcohol wipes. It stinged but not that much.

“Probably because of the can earlier.” I answered. She glared at me and went back to put some ointment on the cut. Now this time it really did stinged that made me wince. “Bear with it for a bit okay?”. I nodded as I watched her slowly wrap the dressing around my hand and tied a knot at the end.

“Thanks goldfish.” I said as I reached in for a hug.

“Better not do that again Amber.” She said as she let go of me. She looked intently softly into my eyes and said, “Amber remember that you still have us who love you a lot. We are always here for you whenever you need us. I promise that this will only hurt in the beginning but slowly with time your wounds will heal and you’ll be happy again. I am not forcing you to let go of Krys or move on from her. I want you to be happy again….She….Krystal asked me about you about a week before I come here. She was worried about you. She said she tried to call you a hundred times but it didn’t go through so she figured that you were already out of the country. She wanted to know why did you suddenly just fly away without telling her. I didn’t know why at that time so she didn’t get any answer….You know Amber... You can’t stop love. Just follow your heart AND brain.” She smiled and pat my head.

I still remembered everything that she told me. I was so lucky to have a friend like her. My phone suddenly buzzed against my thigh. I took it out while controlling my wheel careful not to crash to anything or worse anyone. It was Shannon.

“Hey Shan! What’s up?”. I said as I turned right on the upcoming street. I put the phone on speaker and placed in between my legs.

“Nothing much just wanna check up on you. Where you’re at rn?”

“Hmm I’m on my way back home and go back to work.”

“I will so bye Am. I’ll see you later then.” She ended the car after I said bye to her. I continued to drive when my phone fell down to the space below when the brake and accelerator were. I silently cursed inside my head as I bended down to take my phone. It went really far down there. While trying to reach my phone, I heard a screeching sound that made me slam down on the brake so hard that I hit my head so hard against the door. With all of my energy left, I changed the gear into P and fell back against the door . The last thing that I heard was the sound of car crashing together and people panicking shouting to call the ambulance and police.

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Yoo this was really hard to write. I cried while writing this so please excuse any mistakes that I have. I also had to watch the video of Amber crying in Real Man to make sure that she can actually cry :(( She rarely cries on camera so ahhhh. Again, THAANK YOU SOO MUCH FOR READING and here's the link to the video that I watched. I laughed at the end tho :(( I feel so bad for laughing. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O1HOZfxRPqU 

PS I changed from oneshot to multishot because I caannnnt write short thingsss.