Chapter 7-Camellia and Hibiscus

Garden of Confession

 

The remaining week and extra days of holidays slipped by quickly for 10 teens. Their days were filled with mocking, teasing, laughter and a reinforcement of the friendship that they had all recently acquired. They even celebrated New Year's together, all looking forward to reserving a spot in each of their hearts for the years to come. That day was complete pandemonium; as an understatement for the word. Taeyeon and Tiffany were...keeping warm in a guest room far away from the commotion.A drunk Yoona, Yuri, Hyoyeon and Hyomin parading around Yuri’s house; whose parents had gone out for a “romantic” dinner. They then reduced the sober partygoers down to Seohyun, Sunny, Sooyoung, and Jessica. Seohyun and Sunny were busy reading an English novel that was given to them by their English teacher, ‘The Bridges of Madison County’ and trying to keep an eye on their drunken Chodings at the same time. So that left Sooyoung and Jessica, with no choice but to engage in a meaningful conversation; puppies or pandas.

                  The spoke for a long while, Sooyoung falling deeper for the blonde haired girl, even though she thought that in itself wasn’t even possible. She could feel her façade that held back her extraordinary feelings slowly crumble, threatening to expose them to Jessica at any given moment.

                   Meanwhile Jessica found the Shikshin’s company enjoyable. She was funny, polite and her imitations of past events or actors were hilarious, even if Jessica was a bit slow to get the jokes sometimes. But the entire while that they were both talking a voice nagged at the back of her head, a voice she was able to ignore, but would repeatedly appear when she stared deep into Sooyoung’s dark and alluring eyes.

                   ‘Why does she remind me of something……or someone?’

                    That thought remained clashed with the other many thoughts in the blonde’s brain, as they all decided to make their way to their respective homes that night. When Sooyoung offered to drive Jessica and Tiffany home, she couldn’t help but feel even the slightest bit ecstatic. Although she didn’t have much of a clue as to why.

                     After being dropped off at her door Sooyoung had bid her a good night, before being called back by Sunny and Hyomin on the grounds of ‘flirting’. Jessica had hurried upstairs, past Tiffany and Krystal, who both wore an accusing but amused expression on their faces, and stood by the window of her bedroom. She gazed down at the sleek black car that Sooyoung owned, watching the latter tug a scarf closer around her neck and rub her palms together for more friction. Before she stepped into the heated vehicle she turned around, tilting her head upwards and making eye contact with Jessica. Jessica’s heart skipped half of beat, not that the girl realized it. Sooyoung smiled and waved before sliding into the car seat and slamming the door shut behind her before speeding off into the late, chilly night.

                      Jessica smiled at the thought, for she was now walking beneath the Tuesday afternoon’s dreary and mundane gray sky, the gush of dirty melted snow under foot with each step she took. She walked aimlessly among it, inhaling the crispy and bitter January air that seemed to wash the entire city of Seoul. It was one of those cloudless days where she would just walk and let all woes and worries fuel her padded footsteps.

                    She shoved her hands into her coat pocket, always mesmerized at the wisps of air that could be seen before her with each breath she exhaled. She continued walking, not knowing or caring where she ended up at this point. She ascended her gaze, to be met with the familiar backside of a long-haired girl.

                    ‘Sooyoung’? She thought, wondering what the girl was doing before her, for both of her hands seemed to be conjoined in front of her.

                     Jessica continued treading behind Sooyoung, quite convinced that the girl had failed in taking notice of her presence. She had no honest reason for following the girl, but she had no honest reason to stop.

                     ‘She might think you’re a creep.’Her inner Tiffany spoke out to her, almost warning her to stop walking.

                     ‘A hot creep.’Jessica mentally scoffed towards her own thought.

                     Before Jessica knew it they were near the ajar black gates of a cemetery, white hats of snow decorating the probably hundreds of tombstones. She saw Sooyoung pause in front of the gates, seemingly taking a deep breath before deciding to enter. Both of her hands now fell limp at her sides, her right hand clutching a bouquet of beautiful fuchsia-colored flowers. The radiant beauty of these flowers could easily be accompanied with a dreary, almost depressing aura.

  (Copy and paste into another tab and play for a better reading experience: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IhEMxle0yEY)                 

                     Sooyoung walked slowly, but with assurance, giving off the feel that she had been there a thousand times previously. And something told Jessica that she probably had. Jessica followed the tanned girl, her presence still anonymous. They walked for 3 minutes, Jessica remaining at least 5 meters behind, their steps synchronized in the half-fresh snow. Suddenly, Sooyoung abruptly stopped in front of a tombstone that overrode the others in claims of height and width.

                        The tombstone was most likely a few centimeters shorter than Sunny, wide and gray with numerous cards and flower petals gracing its entrance to the soil. It looked relatively new, unlike some of the other graves that they had passed on the way there that had visible weathering amongst their stone. Jessica craned her neck to be able to read the name engraved into the tombstone’s midsection.

                          ‘Choi Soojin’

                           She glanced a bit lower and saw the date of birth and the date of death.

                            May 17th 1968-July 14th 2010

                           Sooyoung crouched in front of the grave, ignoring the splashes of mud that graced the bottom of her jeans and the bottom of the gravestone. The bright fuchsia flowers in her right hand dipped idly into the dirt. Sooyoung raised her left hand tentatively, the cold and dark grave. She the stone so gently one would think she was touching a baby.

                             She cleared before speaking, her usually strident and loud voice now wavering.

                             “Umma….how’s it going? ~” she asked so innocently that Jessica could hardly suppress a chuckle. Jessica leaned against the cherry blossom tree that was in the middle of a clump of graves.

                             “Well, I hope you’re happy up there because I’d die if you weren’t…..wait, bad choice of words. I meant we’re terribly miserable and-WAIT WAIT WAIT, I take that back. What I mean is-“ Sooyoung sighed, inhaling another deep breath before the tombstone once again, her thumb slightly shaking.

                                “I love you.” She said. Those three simple words, almost as low to be a whisper, allowed the hot tears so escape her eyes and cascade down her face, clashing with the cold she had hardly taken notice of. She wiped her eyes carelessly with her right arm, until she gave up and let them fall freely to the snow below her.

                                “I gave Yuri the ‘Oh-So-Sacred flower’ you carved. You remember Yuri right? My tanning buddy? The one who would always jump onto your leg when we were little?” Sooyoung stopped here to recall the memory and she chuckled at the mental image of a 10-16 year old Yuri clinging onto Sooyoung’s mother’s leg.”Well maybe not that little. But, I’m sure she’ll love it even more when she finds that it came from your heart.”

                               Sooyoung’s tears continued falling; she paid no attention to them although it pained Jessica to watch the typically leader-like girl slowly disintegrate before her very eyes.

                               “Guess what?” Sooyoung paused, as thought actually expecting an answer.”I’m in love.”

                               Jessica’s ears perked up even more at this statement that was said with absolutely no doubt in it whatsoever.

                              “I’m sure you’d love her if you met her. She’s beautiful in every way possible. Even her flaws are beautiful. I’d hope to someday be able to call her mine. I know you and dad would have wanted to me to pursue her the best way possible. Which is what I’m doing…I think. I know she’d like you too.”

                               Here Sooyoung took a deep and shaky breath, her body slightly quaking as she struggled to stand. She let herself fall to the ground, one knee at a time until both were submerged in mud and snow. She lightly rested her forehead against the ‘수’ engraved into the stone, trying to the best of her ability to keep the sobs from escaping her lips. The tears continuously fell, her breathing hitching more and more as she recalled the memories that she shared with her mother. Her beautiful mother that taught her that she should never give or receive a flower without knowing its meaning. And to never judge a flower by its beauty. If it weren’t for her mother’s words imbedded into her mind, she probably would have never taken the initiative to become Jessica’s number 1 secret admirer.

                         Sooyoung stared at the tombstone through blurry eyes. She once again lightly touched the tombstone, almost as though she were afraid of disturbing her mother.

                         She raised her right hand and extended it, just high enough to allow her flowers to rest on top of the grave, the bouquet’s plastic crinkling upon arrival..

                         She let both hands fall to her sides again, before muttering, just loud enough for Jessica to hear above the whistle of the passing wind:

                          “Camellia sasanqua……I miss you….”

                          She silently cried for minutes, her knees going numb at the cold that soaked through her jeans and some of her tears drying with the cool wind that slid between the cemetery.  Jessica watched Sooyoung for God knows how long, a small lake of Sooyoung’s tears gathered at the base of the grave. Jessica decided to not just stand there and observe. Despite her curiosity at who Sooyoung’s love was, she slowly walked forward to the Shikshin; it burdened her heart to watch the girl grieve so harshly. She tried her best to disguise her footsteps as she made her way towards Sooyoung. The latter’s overwhelming emotion seemed to have clogged her sense; for she still showed no sign of recognition to Jessica’s presence.

                            It wasn’t until Jessica rested her hand lightly on the small of Sooyoung’s back did she gain any reaction.

                           Sooyoung flinched instinctively, wrapping her arms around the grave with shut eyes.

                           “I have no money! I only have chips! Take the chips, TAKE THE DAMN CHIPS! No wait I need those……If I give you the chips will you spare my life? I can’t die in a cemetery man, that’s just awkward man….”Sooyoung said at rapid-fire speed, hardly taking any time in between to catch her breath. Before Sooyoung could continue her nonsensical ramblings Jessica spoke.

                            “Open your eyes Sooyoungie.” She said coldly and clearly, not wanting the girl’s loud voice to furthermore disturb the serenity of the cemetery.

                             Sooyoung slowly opened her eyes, shifting them left and right before landing on Jessica’s legs directly in front of her. She gulped as her gaze travelled upwards, marveling at how the girl looked against a gray, winter backdrop; accompanied by the ever beautiful cherry blossom tree behind her.

                             “MOTHER OF GOD YOU SCARED ME!”  Sooyoung said, finally able to tone down her rapidly increasing heartbeat. Jessica merely smiled innocently, extending a hand out to the girl whose tears had stopped the moment Jessica’ face came into view. Sooyoung gladly accepted it.

                             “Chips Sooyoungie? Really?” Jessica said, as Sooyoung began brushing off her dirty pants, only now realizing how soaked they were.

                            “Rapists can eat too…..” she grumbled underneath her breath, dusting off whatever was on her jacket, her tear glands finally running dry.

                             “You’re quite odd Sooyoungie.” Jessica said, chuckling.

                             “I’m still cute though right?” Sooyoung asked, eyes twinkling in the mid-evening glare, the small pout on her face temporarily rendering Jessica immobile.

                             “Y-Yes you’re very cute.” She said, surprising herself at the stutter in her voice.

                              “Do you want to walk somewhere else? It must be awkward having a friendly conversation surrounded by dead people.”Sooyoung said, letting out a soft chuckle at the end of her sentence. Jessica simply nodded, suddenly unaware of how to act around Sooyoung. She slowed the taller girl to lead her out of the maze of tombstones, taking only slight notice when the girl picked off one remaining cherry blossom off of the tree as they passed it.

                              They walked side by side out of the cemetery and into the bustling city streets. Jessica pondered towards the thoughts that raged through her head. Why wasn’t Sooyoung annoyed by her untimely presence? How had her mother died? Who was she in love with? For some unknown reason, that last question clicked with her the most.

                              Almost as if reading her thoughts Sooyoung spoke,” You can ask you know.”

                            Jessica, slightly startled by Sooyoung’s accurate remark, was caught off guard and took a moment to react.

                            “Who are you in love with?”

                              Now it was Sooyoung’s turn to be caught off guard. She swallowed a trail of saliva with difficulty, trying to think of some random name on the spot.

                              ‘Hara? Nah she’s like my sister

                              Key? Nah, he's too gay to function.

                             Suddenly, out of her peripheral vision she was able to catch a fluttering piece of white out of Jessica’s pocket. In one quick motion she snatched it out Jessica’s jacket.

                             Before the shorter girl could even react Sooyoung began reading off the paper, easily able to recognize her own handwriting.

                              ‘If by some chance I run out of flowers, can I just explain to you your never-ending beauty? Although I’d need a lot more paper……’

                              Sooyoung chuckled at her own behavior, she remembered that she was worried she would run out of appropriate flowers to match the girl.

                              Out of nowhere, a soft white hand took the paper from Sooyoung’s grasp and glared at her. Or at least she tried to amidst her ever-growing blush.

                              “It’s okay Sica, Yoona told me about your admirer.” Sooyoung said, wrapping her arm around the shorter girl’s shoulder and pulled her slightly closer to her, ignoring how warm she felt.

                              Jessica cursed under her breath, swearing something about ‘the stupid deer Choding’ before staring down the sidewalk, refusing to return Sooyoung’s gaze. Sooyoung chuckled at the older girl’s cuteness, realizing her arm was still draped around her shoulder. Embarrassed she slowly took it off, before another quick and surprisingly strong grip replaced her arm back to its location on Jessica’s shoulder.

                               She looked to the side to finally meet Jessica’s beautiful gaze, surprised that she hadn’t melted into a puddle of bones and chocolate on the spot.

                               “I never gave you permission to move it.” Jessica said bluntly, but a hint of a smile across her lips.

                               Sooyoung merely smiled back, not moving her arm and simply enjoying the warmth of the Ice Princess’s body under hers and next to hers as well.

                               “Do you have any idea who it is?” She asked absentmindedly, body on the street but mind somewhere in the heavens.

                                Jessica shook her head no, ”All I know is that it’s a girl and she has a cousin named Choi Sulli.” Jessica scanned Sooyoung’s tanned side profile; from her nose, down her smooth skin to her plump lips. If the girl had any recognition towards the name she didn’t show it.

                                Sooyoung merely nodded in response, heartbeat quickening at the mention of her cousin.”You don’t mind that it’s a girl?’

                                Jessica rolled her eyes, ”I’m best friends with the gayest, horniest, cheesiest lesbian couple to ever cross the face of the planet. I should hope that answers your question.”

                                They continued walking, passing a small but beautiful flower shop. The 50-ish ahjumma sweeping around the front looked up at Sooyoung and Jessica, an eye smile sparkling through the wrinkles in her face. She waved at the duo, both of which waved back politely as Sooyoung gave her brightest smile to the woman, mouthing words that Jessica couldn’t comprehend.

                                “You know her?” Jessica asked, once they had turned a corner from the flower shop.

                                “One could say I visit there a lot.” Sooyoung said, small shrug adding towards her words. They for more minutes, silence accompanied by whirring of car tires, the whistling wind and tune that Sooyoung was repeatedly humming the rest of the walk. They made their way to Jessica’s flat, Sooyoung’s arms draping off the girl’s shoulders as she stood in front of the door.

                               “Oh Jessica, a question I forgot to ask you. Do you have any idea what you want this admirer to look like? Or what you think she looks like?” Sooyoung asked, leaning against the stairwell’s rail.

                                Jessica stared back at her. This was something she had thought about quite often as well. She came up with dozens of possibilities but as she stared at the beautiful girl before her she could see nothing, hear nothing and think nothing. For right then the world was only focused on Choi Sooyoung.

                                Unconsciously Jessica blurted out the only words she could think of at that moment,” Tall, dark, handsome.”

                               “Must be quite a person to be able to woo you with a note and a simple flower.”

                               “It’s not that simple actually. It’s Hibiscu..coo….ca…” Jessica trailed off, suddenly failing to remember the flower’s scientific name.

                               “Hibiscus rosa-sinensis?” Sooyoung finished confidently.

                               “Uh..yeah? How’d you know?” Jessica said, bewildered at the knowledge Sooyoung bestowed.

                               “My mom loved flowers. I guess the gene just passed on to me.”

                                Jessica nodded, understanding the reasoning despite the thought deep in her mind that said it meant something deeper.

                                “It seems so. Well thank you for walking me home Sooyoungie.” Jessica leaned in, ignoring her heart’s palpitations and pecked Sooyoung on the cheek, hurrying past the door of the flat before the latter could see her flushing face.

                               Sooyoung stood there, speechless. She could feel the heat radiating from the spot on her cheek as her left hand slowly trailed up to touch it. She smiled subconsciously.

                               “Anytime Sica.”

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A/N U GUSTTTTAAAAAAA?

I shouldn't even be up right now lol

But oh well, I wanted to update

This was depressing but I needed to add it

I know that Soojin is Sooyoung's sister but I neede a name

I also don't know her birthday so picked one randomly

If you're confused;Sooyoung's mom died the summer before this admirer thing started, which is why she's living with her aunt and uncle(well with Sulli)Sooyoung knew her mom would want her to appreciate flowers and express her love which is why she's doing it now. Her dad died way before all o' this.

Kayk?

You'll see this chapter's relevance later on

And thank you to those who answered my questions, I can now plot out the rest of my story with a clear head!

Camellia:

It means what Sooyoung said; 'I miss you'

Hibiscus:

This means delicate beauty

It's also from my home country of Jamaica so woot for national pride!

And a cherry blossom:

cause its pretty ....and maybe another reason ;D

As for my Questionairre

Having Jessica figure out it's Sooyoung as her admirer is tied with Clueless and suspicious, so we'll figure that out

Boyfriend; most of you guys were like "HELL NAW. SOOSIC HAS ENOUGH ING" and all that. BUT I said most, not all. We'll see what happens ;D

As for le Confession; Romantic it is!

For continuing the story, college years it is!

As for my chapter progress I will try and update faster but keep the same chapter pace, Kayk?

I feel like posting this on Soshified but I'm too lazy :P lol

Be prepared for an update on either Friday or Saturday

I love you all~

P.S. I HIT 50SUBSCRIBERS

PARTTYYYY

-Cue Forever Alone Confetti-

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DinoNumber4
I feel really bad for not updating,but I do have a chapter in mind, but I'm too afraid to post it. OTL

Comments

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Kyries
#1
❤️
milkinthebox_ #2
Chapter 17: I’ve set myself up for this jdhdjjf the pain of not seeing the Next Chapter option jdjcjcjjcnx
milkinthebox_ #3
Chapter 8: Q1. Jessica figuring out it was sooyoung and waiting for her to bring it out and say it herself or remain suspicious but clueless?

> yes please (T.T) Possibly through an unexpected meetup with Jinri. She has her suspicions already. Her friends won’t tell her even Krystal so we’ll ho with Sulli and her slip up lol. An unprovoked slip up too since Jess was not prying.

Q2. Big Jung’s boyfriend to provoke Sooyoung.

>nah. But like someone who’s gonna claim all her efforts right before she confessed the truth to jess. Unbeknownst to her, Jess already knew who’s been giving her flowers. Though Soo did not stay long enough to hear that when she saw them talking.

Q3. Sooyoung’s confession?

> hmm. I have no input here lol. But it would be something intense given that she wanted to prove and claim that it was her not that guy.

Q4. Continue through summer and college or end in graduation?

>graduation. A summer epilogue would be nice though. College for book 2 😂😂😂

Q5. Too fast? Too slow? Or just right?

> Some of the progress for them couples are too fast for me but i don’t really mind since this is a soosica fic. Everything soosica is in the right pace for me. I’m quite enjoying it :)

Q6. do you love the author?

>yes! And yes, i answered the question haha. I really don’t comment much tho so i apologize 👉👈

Yes i know it’s 2021. Way too far from the last update i believe. I’m still gonna continue reading even though it’s not tagged as complete 😂
rochie #4
Chapter 17: Update please???
SiamSiami #5
Chapter 17: author ssi please update this fic
bedofnails
#6
Chapter 2: It's sunday. 16th October 2016. Patiently waiting for another update. :)
Mamengurl #7
Chapter 17: Please update soon author
Slice-Lish
#8
Chapter 17: Urgh its annoying when good authors stop writing.